Sean Hannity: I am Junk Science

On Friday's Sean Hannity radio show, a caller named Terri brought a huge revelation to listeners concerning global warming. Or she may have thought. Here's the exchange (all emphasis mine, scan the bold parts if you're ADHD):

SEAN: Terri is next. Virginia Beach. Hey, Terri. How are you?

TERRI: Hi. I'm fine. Um, I teach meteorology at a university, and I'd rather not say which one, and, um, when you talk about the greenhouse theory of global warming, the theory is that we' re putting CO2 into the atmosphere and it's making the planet warm. That's the theory. And when you look at the data, and you see that, in the middle ages, they had the medieval warm period, where the planet was warmer than it is today, and they know that because England supported a grape - they grew grapes in England and they, uh, produced wine. So the middle ages was warmer. If it's the CO2 that is driving the warming, what made the CO2 go up in the middle ages? And no one has answered that. And when you look at the data, you see it's been warmer, it's been colder, and there is a correlation with the carbon dioxide But no one can say - except for right now - we're burning fossil fuels and we're putting CO2 into the atmosphere and that's making it get warmer. But no one can say what made CO2 go up and down in the past.

SEAN: I - B-boy, I'm listening to you and I'm thinking you need to write a book on this.

TERRI: And so It's really frightening that people - And, and if we stop all fossil fuels tomorrow, I personally don't think it would make a difference. What is very scary is that people are starting to talk about: let's sequester CO2, let's build mechanisms to take CO2 out of the atmosphere. And that's really scary. 'Cause that's messing with the climate.

SEAN: You know what, that's very, very well said, uh, I hope you'll write the definitive book on global warming hysteria. Would you do that for me?

TERRI: I actually sent you an email about a week ago. I was listening to you on the way home and I got so angry about the global warming discussion. And so I wrote you a, a pretty detailed email, and there's something called Milankovitch Cycles, which you probably haven't heard about unless you've actually looked into global warming. And what Milankovitch Cycles say, is that the sun, the intensity of solar radiation changes over time. And if you think about the Earth, the Earth is what, three-quarters water? And if you think back to you fre- to your high school chemistry, the gas laws tell you that cold liquid holds more gas than warm liquid. That's why your Coke goes flat if it gets warm, because the CO2 goes out of -

SEAN: Yeah, I hate that, by the way, when that happens. I want you to know that.

TERRI: Well, if our Earth is covered with three quarters water, and if the, what's making our Earth go up and down in temperature is changes in solar radiation, then wouldn't it make sense that CO2 goes into and out of a solution? And perhaps the warming that you see, if it truly is warming right now, is because of solar radiation, and that the CO2 is just following suit because it's going into and out of solution.

SEAN: You know what, Terri? I am a lucky host. You wanna know why? 'Cause I have smart people like you and others in this audience that really just, you said it so well, I, I could never, ever even venture that I could ever get that close to being that articulate and knowledgeable. So thank you. And, and write this book.

Serenity now (not the Seinfeld episode, the ship.)! Take me away.

No, don't punch the screen. Let's hit some points, shall we?

Medieval Warm Period
Yes, grapes were grown in southern Britan during the Medieval Warm Period, but it was not their (or Europe's) greatest time of wine-making. They make wine in Alaska now. Climate is only one of the considerations to good wine.

Yes, it was warm then, but the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change disagrees that the MWP was actually warmer, world-wide, than it is right now.

CO2 went up in the Middle Ages? It did not. Just the temperature. Check the graphs.

Milankovitch Cycles
Acutally, "Milankovitch studied changes in the eccentricity, obliquity, and precession of Earth's movements." These do not correlate with the changes we can predict (outside of the 100K ice age) and have nothing to do with the last decade. The NOAA says "While Milankovitch cycles have tremendous value as a theory to explain ice-ages and long-term changes in the climate, they are unlikely to have very much impact on the decade-century timescale."

'Cause that's messing with the climate
Pumping as much CO2 as we are into the atmosphere is messing with the climate. Trying to capture and "undo" that is not.

This is why your Coke goes flat
Admitted Nitpick: Your Coke goes flat because you leave it out too long. The CO2 escapes. If you leave it out in the heat, it happens faster. If you open it at room temperature, or even in the heat, it is not flat when you open it. (clarify)

I Am a Lucky Host
Sean Hannity has a large audience of ignorant people who already think him an expert on everything. When he verbally bows to a caller who waves around the tag "college meteorology teacher," the listenership is being inoculated from reality by something bordering on papal infallibility. And don't get me started on papal infallibility.

What happened in this exchange was junk science, well propagated. Today, thousands more people are not only misinformed, but have the "proof" they heard on the radio, even if they can't remember how to pronounce "Milankovitch."

This is ignorance. This is grabbing onto pieces of handholds on the discarded scat of what any informed person calls science. It is not research. It is not credible. It is uninformed opinion. It is the goiter on the body conservative that is threatening to take over the organism. Run.

Our caller admitted to not wanting to identify her university affiliation. Neither would I. If I said the things she did, it would not be from an unbelief in global warming that I might be fired, but a public statement of disbelief and lack of faith in the field in which I claimed to teach. Or just plain ignorance.

"Ignorance is easy to fix. That's just not knowing. Not like stupid. There's no fixin' stupid."

60 Minutes: It Will Hurt, but Watch It

60 Minutes, Sunday at 7pm, Laura Logan will be interviewing a few of the brave 1000 active duty and reserve members of the U.S. Military who have petitioned to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq.

"Just because we volunteered for the military doesn't mean we volunteered to put our lives in unnecessary harm and to carry out missions that are illogical and immoral."
-Marine Sgt. Liam Madden

They're still serving, still following orders, but objecting at the same time and not letting their voice be quieted. Impressive.

WINGNUT ALERT:
On the same episode of 60 Minutes, one of the FOX/Talk Radio pantheon, Bill O'Reilly, will be interviewed by Mike Wallace. And what story comes right before Bill O'Reilly? and...wait for it...Nazis! Seriously. Nazis. Brilliant!

My advice would be TiVo/DVR the good pieces. Otherwise, hold your breath. You might feel a little prick.

HPV Vaccine Steamrolling ...and (whew!) Takes a Break

This issue has been a long time brewing in my head and now that Merck's taking a lobbying break, it needs to breathe.

Gardasil, the Merck-created HPV Vaccine, is the figurative minuteman at the Vulva border, preventing the crossing of four types of HPV, and shooting them in the ass if they make it through, is causing a stir. Why do we need to protect against HPV? HPV is linked to cervical cancer (and even penis cancer).

Laws & Profits
At the National Conference of State Legislatures, you can see what laws states are proposing concerning HPV. Merck has been driving through state and federal legislature halls like a Juggernaut to get this mandated. Seeing the public outcry against motives that seemed a little too altruistic to be real, they have paused their lobbying efforts.

What other motives could they have? What does lobbying always concern? Money. Merck pocketbook might be hurting in the coming years as many of its drugs finally fall into generic domains. Merck "face[s] the serious problem of potential erosion of over 50% of their 2005 revenues."

Merck's push is a vaccine of a sort too: a vaccine against low profits. It is estimated that the three-course vaccine will run $300 - $500 for each girl or woman. Getting mandated distribution and mandated insurance coverage (also in some proposals) would be a friggin' goldmine for Merck. A very few people getting very rich.

Equal Access vs. Mandate
Ann over at Feministing is a proponent of mandatory vaccination. And based on the comment "every state allows parents to refuse to vaccinate their children for moral or religious reasons," I almost agree with her. In Ohio and North Carolina, you can claim bona fide religious exemption, but they can deny your child public school access until college. Personal beliefs about vaccines have no bearing (i.e. "My Jesus said that shot'll make my girl a whore" = valid objection, "I have serious concerns about the efficacy, safety, and necessity of that shot; here is my research" = invalid objection).

Making this vaccine available and affordable to the entire population is important, but so is access to health care. (The survival rates for early detection are over 90%.) Making it mandatory is still potentially dangerous or, at the very least, potentially useless.

Religion
There are some conservative shelterists saying that by giving their daughters the HPV vaccine, it is giving them a license to be loose, immoral, and irresponsible. Those people do not deserve a link, need to stop being retarded, and shut the hell up. Not to worry, moralists: God's already givin' the gays the AIDS 'cause he hates fags, so by rights He'll make a baby in your girl's belly if she step outta line. That'll learn 'er.

Skepticism

• Merck is pushing way too hard, and it looks like it's for money.


• Faith in Merck after the Vioxx debacle.
  We have no long-term tests to reference whether this vaccine might actually be dangerous. Merck tested a couple thousand people and looked 4 years on the outset. They used abnormal cell smears as an indicator (CIN, which, while a potential precursor, technically only indicates cell changes). How do we know the vaccine won't hurt people? How do we know it'll even work in ten or twenty years when a female would be most likely to be exposed?


• Straight answers on HPV and cancer.
  "20 of the suspected 230 different types of HPV are considered high risk due to their association with cervical cancer." That comes from here. The National Cancer Institute agrees. Basically the vast majority of women will never get HPV. The vast majority of those that get it will resolve the virus on their own (immune system will take care of it). The vast majority of those who don't kill the virus won't actually have the high-risk version. The majority of those that do have the high-risk version won't develop abnormal cells. The majority that develop abnormal cells will not develop cancer.
  
  HPV is associated with cervical cancer; it does not "cause" cancer. And since HPV is associated with 70% of cervical cancer and Merck can not validate the long-term efficacy of its product, it is far from the "cervical cancer vaccine" it purports to be.
  
  Merck has a vaccine that they say stops A. A can sometimes cause B, so they measure B. There seems to be no B present for those that got the vaccine. B is related to C. Merck says "We've cured C!"


• Antidote Anecdote
  When my daughter was getting ready to enter kindergarten, the varicella vaccine for chicken pox had recently become mandatory for children entering school in Ohio. Her pediatrician didn't think it was a great idea and neither did my wife. But we didn't have a choice. Luckily, before they had to look into reasons for rejection, she caught the virus naturally. And ever since, there have been half a dozen kids out sick from every one of her classes every year - with chicken pox. The vaccine didn't live up to its hype, but it was another success story for Merck.
  

If Merck's vaccine works exactly like they say it does, then that's a wonderful thing, and it should be offered to (not forced upon) all women at a reasonable price or for free. But there are still questions about it and we don't have all the answers. And even when we do, it's a decision only parents can make with their daughters (and sons if the whole penis cancer thing gets press). The ACS estimates that 11,150 women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2007. 3,670 women will die because of it. Early diagnosis says that number should only be a little over 900. Health care or vaccines, we have a long way to go. Girls getting vaccinated today will reach the mean diagnosis age of 50 in 25 to 40 years. I'd hate for them to be disappointed.

No WTF Award this post: there are too many targets. But since I can't let a serious post lie, here's a beaver shot:

No, we can't have anything nice.

The Brits and Sinbad's Iraq

Okay, now that we have that out of the way...

BBC is reporting that P.M. Blair will make an announcement today putting forth a timetable for British troop withdrawal.

Reason! Logic! Rationale!

Wednesday's expected statement comes after Mr Blair told the BBC's Sunday AM that the operation to allow Iraqis to take the lead in frontline security in Basra - Operation Sinbad - had been "completed" and "successful".

Okay, not so much. But at least less people will die. Completed and successful how?

This was not even going to be a topic today except for one part that made me perk up out of my AM coma during my morning NPR and say WTF Brits?

Operation Sinbad.

One year I spent a decade teaching English to high school kids in the South . During that time, we read the tales of Sinbad the Sailor. The British military has obviously not.

The setup for futility, 1001 Nights: Queen Scheherazade gets married to a Henry VIII on crack, King Shahryar, who kills his wives after one night with them in order to get a little taste of everything. But Queen Scheherazade is quite clever and tells her husband a tale every night that ends in a cliffhanger, not to reveal the ending until the next night (You may recall the Bugs Bunny version). She does this for almost 3 years.

Sinbad the Sailor is no better a representation for Iraq. He is from modern day Iraq, but that's where it ends. After squandering his wealth, Sinbad goes off to adventure, makes foolish decisions, and people die. After the first adventure, he gets bored with wealth, goes on another trip, makes foolish decisions, people die. He does this five more times. He never learns that when he travels that the ocean is out to get him and people are going to die.

I'm not saying that this is not an accurate representation of the war in Iraq: futility, poor decisions, death. But Sinbad is not a character after which one would name a war effort. It is nothing to emulate or strive for. Might as well be Operation Quixote or Operation Fallstaff.

How about Operation Beowulf? That's English Lit roots and quality hero shit.

But I'm nitpicking. My congrats to Britain for having much, much more sense than us in Iraq. Good show!

Photoshop Love: Scrotum

On Friday, it was announced that the book-burning, blood-letting (every motive escalate, automotive incinerate) mafia was out on the prowl. Taking a break from their Harry Potter anti-evil stance, some limiters of knowledge have attacked another book fit for burnin'. This is the Higher Power of Lucky.

Why would easy-going librarians be so shocked from a book that won the 2007 Newbury Medal? The author used the word "scrotum."

Scrotum.

In the book, a girl hears the word through a hole in the wall about a dog who was bit by a rattlesnake on the scrotum.

Everybody freak out. Do it now.

The word scrotum is not something to be taken lightly. With the testicles, it has some weight. But it is innocuous. Why? Because every male mammal has one scrotum (and two testicles barring birth defects or surgery).

But why is it an issue that something that every male mammal has is bit by a rattlesnake? Why isn't anyone pitching a fit about every time a bullet (which kills people) is mentioned or a gun (which uses a bullet to kill people) is described? How about blood?

Why? Because violence is okay. Sex is not. Even when mentioning the part of a dog's body that holds the organs that provide the sperm to the actual organ that facilitates copulation in a subordinate species.

Not okay.

Either way, I'm sure I'm not helping with this:


"It didn't hurt a bit"
Photo from here. Macro'd myself.

I blame it on bovine hormones.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Leaf Blower

He'll get his damn leaf blower back when he stops building that stupid deck!

I'm sorry, that's not really accurate. He's much happier when he's mowing.


My sister came over yesterday and, seeing that our part of the neighborhood was in disarray, asked what the local drama was all about. Well, let me tell you, I said.

It's a huge mess between Uncle Sam, Inc. (this contractor who thinks he owns half the town), my neighbors to the left, Sonni and Sheila, and the guy next to them, Ami.

You see, years ago, Ami's family owned the house he lives in now. Then USI came to town with their limey buddies and got the house resold. Ami's family bought it back, a lot of bad blood, blah blah blah. A couple years ago, USI tried to do something similar to Sonni and Sheila's place; they bought the place, halfway demolished it, and are still rebuilding it while keeping on Sonni and Sheila as tenants. I know, totally retarded.

And USI might actually be getting somewhere if it weren't for all the chaos. Sonni and Sheila are constantly fighting, sabotaging each other and the contractors USI has brought in, pulling down drywall, stealing lumber, dumping adhesive. USI didn't bring in enough contractors to begin with and now has to deal with all this extra crap, not to mention that their disorganization has them bleeding money all over the place. Some of the private contractors are just sucking down cash like fat people eat cake without doing a damn thing.

USI's not happy with how things are going. Sonni and Sheila are supposed to step up and take control of the remodel, but that's never going to happen. USI's still funding a similar project across town that they can't get a handle on. It's a mess, and now we've got some of the other neighbors getting in on it.

Ami's the worst right now, in their opinion. He's insisting on building a deck. But USI builds decks and they don't want him to have one. First you let him build a deck and the next thing you know, you're looking at a gazebo. Our Jewish neighbors would not be pleased.

At first, USI was blaming Ami for goading on Sheila, giving her some tools to make things a little worse, but now they think he's working both sides just to screw with USI. So they've hired some muscle to hang out in the street in front of Ami's house. So Ami shoots off fireworks in the street and walks around real close to Sonni and Sheila's house. Firecrackers go off in Ami's back yard? He says USI's screwing with him.

And if you think USI has some friends, Ami's not alone either. He's been talking to our neighbor Sarah, and they say they're going to take USI down. He's buddies with the Russian down the street who's got a shit-ton of fireworks pointed at everyone and the Venezuelan who talks about USI like a great Satan.

And I just found out today that USI has some specific ideas about how to take over Ami's place.

I swear, one of these days they're going to bring out their guns and blow the hell out of everything. And they'll love it. More destruction means more construction and USI's one of the biggest names in town.

I just wish they all understood that this is my neighborhood too.


Who are the people in your neighborhood?

Where in the World is Vladimir Putin?

"I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy. We had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul."
- President Bush, June 2001, in reference to a meeting with Vladimir Putin.


Not so much anymore.

Let's get a quick review of what's been going on with Putin.

In May, 2001, Putin met with the President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez. What did they talk about? Creating an alliance against the U.S. as the only super power in the world. Ouch.

The budding romance is revived in July 2006 when Chavez visits Putin. What did they talk about? Putin wants to give lots of weapons and equipment to Chavez. Plan was finalized in weeks. Rut Roh.

Soon after, we have the always memorable Chavez speech at the U.N., "The United States empire is on the way down" and Bush is "the devil." ...and they want to pursue nuclear technology.

In light of those ominous stories, this week has been...

What was that? I can't hear...what? Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy is inconclusive? Hold on, let me shut the media door.

Much better. Now, a quick look at Putin's travels this past week:
Feb. 8th - Meeting with the special envoy of the Supreme Leader of Iran, Ali Akbar Velayati
Feb. 12th - Qatar festivities
Feb. 12th - Putin meets with Saudi officials
Feb. 13th - Meeting with President of the Palestinian ational Authority Mahmoud Abbas
Feb. 13th - Putin in Jordan

Wait, wait. Back up one. Didn't Abbas and Fatah just hook up with Hamas?

This doesn't look good. Putin's all practically crackin' a cold one with with Chavez and Ahmadinejad (who don't like us), wants to knock us down a peg himself, is chatting with the newly-joined Palestinian family, and has made advantageous visits to the Middle East where feelings on the U.S. are an emaciated husk, securing favor and gas/oil conversations with Saudi Arabia and Qatar. Either Putin's playing a superb game of international chess or it just looks like a revenge conspiracy to rinse the taste of cold war collapse out of his mouth. I don't think Bush has left the country that often since he was elected the first time.

Is this about oil? Gas? World domination? Or is this all a lovers quarrel, a proverbial poke for an unsettling Angry Pirate?

Aawww...

But if nefarious mind of Vladimir Putin should again think to travel diplomatically (just in case it has to do with blowing up the world or stealing all the oil/gas), he should know that despite the battle over the body of Anna Nicole Smith, someone will be watching.


We know your secret. WTF?

Haredi Rage, or If I Were a Bitch, Man

Daidle deedle daidle Daidle daidle deedle daidle dum

Okay, no more "Fiddler" jokes. We are dealing with "Taliban-like Jewish fundamentalism" here.

What-what? If you didn't hear the story on NPR on Jerusalem's Rosa Parks fights "Modesty Patrols" then go there and listen to/read the story. Now.

The haredi are an ultra-orthodox section of Judaism. A lawsuit has recently been filed with Israel's highest court on behalf of women who have been harassed and abused for not moving to the back of the bus. Naomi Reagan was one such woman who triumphantly retorted "Look, you show me in the code of jewish law, where it's written that I'm not allowed to sit in this seat, and I will move. Until then, get out of my face." Other women have not been so lucky, some succumbing to the harassment some being violently beaten. The story is worth every minute of your time.

So WTF Award goes to the haredi for this round, although it could easily be generalized to most organized religion.

While I was outraged at devout Jews beating women, I was not surprised. A quote near the end was the most telling and the source of today's tangent: These enforcements "help men focus on their family and their wife, and avoid distractions."


Pic from Failed Messiah

That's right, it comes back to the majority of the world continuing to embrace an antiquated, phallocentric worldview. And it's guys like the rabbis pictured above, Ted Haggard, Bill Donahue, Osama bin Laden, and the Pope who all contribute to this attitude: Women must be controlled because men can't control themselves and cannot take responsibility for lack of control.

• Taliban rule in Afghanistan banned women from schooling, forced them to wear a burqa, and often beat them in public for the smallest infractions


• Haredi rabbis burned see-through stockings, rioted to kill a gay pride rally, and are considering passing a law to end female education at the high school level.


• Pope John Paul II declared that Catholic women could never be priests, and since it was "founded on the written word of God," was an infallible judgment.

It's part of every religion, every controlling culture (see female genital mutilation). Burn the books, beat the women, and instill the fear of God.

It's how men and power and religion and control all work together. Now if we could only show that government is somehow related...


Kickin' it Haredi Stylez (not gay...?)
Photo from here.
Hip Jewish smiley shirt here.

CNN, CBS, ABC Pimp Dead Woman

Here's where I get into personal quagmires. Should media be transparent? Yes. Should we be able to have access to all the information? Yes.

But if I want to read about a shootout in a mall in Utah, should I have to see this?


What if I'm just perusing the news (This image was on the home page of CNN.com)? What if I'm a member of the family who hasn't been called yet?

Okay, I'm over the lone body on the floor. Click the story.


Aww, Jesus, man. Going through her pockets? So I check the other sites: CNN, CBS, and NBC have all followed suit. Who did not? Our bastions of decency are MSNBC and FOX News (yes, aware of irony).

I'm all for impropriety. I'm all for shaking up the establishment. Hell, I've even written about bottles up arses. But this is someone's daughter/mother. There's a certain level of decency that needs to be taken into account when these images hit the newsroom. That I see them on the front page disregards that decency, disregards common respect.

Question: Would it be wrong to show the dead shooter? Or: Would it be less wrong to show the victim of the shooting if we could be emotionally vindicated by the pool of blood surrounding the kid in the trench?

So, CNN, CBS, and ABC: WTF? These pictures came from a photographer to the Deseret Morning News, sold on to AP, sold to you. You chose to post them. I can even sympathize with needing to bring the immediacy of the situation home to us. But give us readers fair warning.

FEAR ALERT:
After Columbine we were introduced to a new spectre: The Trench Coat Killer(s). This faded and came back in fits and starts, mostly in other school shootings. "Troubled Goth Teen Who Listens to Industrial Music and the Cure Picked on, Kills 2 With Gun and Trench Coat." Or something like that. It's back.

Let's make it clear, though: the trench coat is not a marker of someone who will kill, simply a symptom of it; no one hides a 12-gauge shotgun in a semi-sheer powder blue microweave windbreaker.

No, it's too late. It's merging with 911 vigilance. There is a part of my brain that will see a suspicious tan-skinned person in a trench coat and I will freeze. And then he will kill me.

Photoshop Love: Flashback Santorum

Some people have killer skills when it comes to Photoshop design. I'm not one of them. But I do have a knack for quality image editing. And this is the perfect forum on which to unleash some of this madness.

This is the first entry of Photoshop Love.

While the Democrats ruling congress has lowered the din from the November elections into the soft hiss coming from your Uncle Arnie's ass, we can't forget that there were some truly hilarious moments.

Case in point: Santorum concedes.


While Santorum's concession was a great moment in American politics, the look on the daughter's price is faceless. You know what I mean. And, please note, she's holding a doll (probably American Girl), dressed just like her.

Ah. Now let's push a little further back and we can dig up why Santorum thinks we're currently safe from terrorist attack on U.S. soil:

As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else. It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States.

Put 'em together, and what-have-ya got?



This is going to be fun.

Also Authoring Elsewhere - Pelosi's Plane

I've written a piece for All Things Democrat on Nancy Pelosi (More on deplane).

Bauhaus made me do it.

If received well, I'll be making my more perfectly partisan posts there.

Yay!

Israel and Hamas and Fatah, oh my!

Aw, snap!

For over 30 years, the United States has been the patron slut of Israel, or at least would have been had they been Catholic. They have had a lot of fighting to do and we have made a business out of supporting them with military supplies. This is because we had a stake in creating the State of Israel along with the Brits and the UN, and once we stake a claim, we stick to it, no matter the consequences (see War on Drugs, second Iraq War). We have a friend in a hostile region: better to keep them there. Also, Palestinians blow themselves up when they attack. People who blow themselves up are terrorists. We don't like terrorists. Palestinians are edging awfully close to that label. We do like Israel. So we give them guns and bombs and war-making machines. At least we're not beating up Palestinians here in the U.S. Oh.

And we don't "not like" all Palestinians. Hamas has traditionally been the biggest fighter against Israel. Fatah not so much. They actually recognize Israel. And in a brilliant and very recent military stratego-matic, Magic 8 Ball move, we've handed over a shit-ton of weapons, bullets, and other various people-killin-stuff to Fatah. To "provide deterrence and balance" one official was quoted as saying.

Easy enough: We like Israel. We don't like Hamas. We give Israel guns. Fatah is Palestinian, but not so bomb-y. We don't like Hamas. We give Fatah guns. And the oh, snap: Fatah and Hamas are joining forces.

Am I the only one getting paranoid? U.S. (and other nations) fund Fatah just before they shake hands with Hamas, who doesn't recognize Israel, three days before Iran, who not only doesn't recognize Israel, but would like it wiped off the map, is about to announce something big and nuclear
at a time when the whispers of war are heard on the tips of the nips of our administration and Iran is saying "Whatever, bring it on." It smells like thousands of sweaty people running to hit a button to launch a bomb.

Coming soon: A war by the American people, for the American people. American Government (and Bush in particular), WTF?

You just got pwned by a bunch of Muslims.

But at least we're exporting something besides jobs.

A Haggard Idea, the Haggard Cure

Praise Jesus! In a miracle that could only be brought on my the Lord Almighty and several thousand contributing, praying followers, Rev. Ted Haggard has been cured of his homo-dirty-man-sex-(and-meth) thing. One of the Kleezantsun that made sure he didn't go more queer, Rev. Tim Ralph, said that he was "completely heterosexual."

And the drag queen angels are line dancing to "I Will Survive" on the head of every pin in the world. And they're laughing.

The angels understand the human condition. Ted Haggard does not.

One one hand, we are a species of adaptation (I guess all really are, survival of the fittest, Richard Dawkins and all). But in our daily social lives, in the big questions of what we want to do with our lives, what we believe, and how we think we should behave, internal and external pressures (priests, money, etc.) can mold us, shape our world view. Someone subjected to the same torture every day, be it working in a cube farm or being beat with a stick, can learn to get along. But if there's not that much pressure to conform, if there's enough leeway to pop out of the mold, change will happen (sidenote: this is why I cannot believe in Hell; we can get used to anything. If Hell actually existed, it wouldn't be hell because souls would've gotten used to it to a certain degree. Or they would have reached critical mass, revolted, and it is now being run like a frat house).

So while in counseling for three full weeks, Rev. Ted renounced his man sex and his methamphetamine. There's the rub. Social pressures and four reverends made sure he was "set straight" so to speak. Now he's being advised to move into secular work. This will have the opposite effect. It will start with impure thoughts, quickly move to gay internet porn, and before he knows it, he'll be snorting meth off a tranny's cock with a bottle of Kamchatka Vodka shoved up his ass. The bottle will be half empty.

When forced, we are capable of amazing tolerances. When left to our own ideas of limitation, all hell can break loose (that frat Hell kind). Jesus be praised, angels dancing and all, Rev. Ted is headed for something he'd probably describe to his overseers as dirty gay naughtiness. It's coming folks. It has to. He has such a pretty mouth.

Iran Has Big News Coming (oh, and they cured AIDS)

Some whispers breezed by last week, but now it's official. "The Iranian [Fars] news agency said an upcoming dramatic announcement on Iran's nuclear 'rights' would be made on February 11."

After curing AIDS on Saturday, I can't believe we're going to have to wait almost a whole week.

Seriously. Cured AIDS. WTF Ahmadinejad?

I smell bombs.

The War Pigs Take On Iran

The lyrics to Black Sabbath's War Pigs is easy enough to find (hint: link here). I'm almost embarrassed to say that when I first heard the song, it was a Faith No More cover.

But that's the song that came to mind when I saw this piece about Iran vs. Iraq rhetoric. I've been of the opinion for the last few months that we're on the same train to a different depot without the means for careful analysis. Mr. Olberman, Mr. Olberman, please stop about Iran. You're scaring the kids.

Nevermind. We need it. Even the former national security adviser, Zbigniew Brzezinski, has warned us. It's underlined.

It looks like we are going to attack or invade Iran. The thing that frightens me the most is that the complacency of Americans is so high, that many of us were almost surprised when we did invade Iraq. The pattern is repeating itself. We have a tough enough time learning from history that is 200 or 500 or 2000 years old. We are destined to repeat ourselves, to slip back down, below the surface of rationality before we've even taken a breath.

Our only hope is that Bush would eat a baby. Maybe some folks would wake up, take notice, and try to understand what is going on before it happens.

Friends of God, Amen

Two days ago I wrote:

And if you're not completely convinced that the religious influence in the government is working to unravel the basis of good, solid science, please try to catch "Friends of God" on HBO. Okay, you lazy ass, here's the schedule.

That was when I had the documentary on DVR and had heard good things about it. I watched it last night. Every word I wrote is true, and then some. The evangelical movement in America is a travesty of rational thought and the scientific method. There is one guy in particular looking at Job 40 in the Bible, and saying "behemoth" is a dinosaur. That's after he tells a bunch of kids that evolution is silly / the world's only a couple thousand years old, and before he sings a song about people living with dinosaurs (the picture of the harnessed dino pulling the cart is adorable). Did I mention these are kids? Arrgh!

Evangelicals get the WTF Award today.

Watch "Friends of God" on HBO (schedule here). Get angry. You will be a better person for it.

Is it Getting Warm in Here?

It's happening again, he said, as if it had ever stopped.

Today's NY Times gives us the punch:

In an executive order published last week in the Federal Register, Mr. Bush said that each agency must have a regulatory policy office run by a political appointee, to supervise the development of rules and documents providing guidance to regulated industries. The White House will thus have a gatekeeper in each agency to analyze the costs and the benefits of new rules and to make sure the agencies carry out the president’s priorities.

Holy shitcakes.

Bush has a hand in every agency, in every issued report, in every word that comes from the government. Okay, calm down. It's not that bad. What? We have to rely on this policy for some of our basic protections? Hey I said calm down.

It's not like the President of These United States put pressure on anyone to mis-report anything scientific, such as global warming. Or oversees a government that would allow the National Park Service to sell a book that explains the Grand Canyon as created by Noah's Flood.

Who am I kidding? It's happening and has been happening ever since we've had that evangelical asshat in office. I enjoyed (and shook my fist after reading) Phil Plait's blog entry back in July of '06. The process is as appalling as it is ubiquitous.

I'm not going to get into all the filthy aspects of how the government treats oil, global warming, or creationism (they all deserve the same amount of outrage), but it is all based in a sick, sad philosophy that I am more convinced every single day is based solely on Religion and Money. The two have been dating for centuries, occasionally accompanied by that strumpet Control. Bush, in this analogy, is like the fashionable gay friend, ushering them off to the glam world where they can enjoy themselves and he can look good.

And if you're not completely convinced that the religious influence in the government is working to unravel the basis of good, solid science, please try to catch "Friends of God" on HBO. Okay, you lazy ass, here's the schedule.

For letting it get this bad, the entire United States Government gets the WTF Award.

"It is right to give Him thanks and praise."
- Catholic Mass

Do you think the president would think they were talking about him?

Glenn Beck is a Tremendous Douchebag

I have to hand it to Glenn Beck; he has made a career out of saying things that fire up his detractors while simultaneously making sense to his devoted listeners. It's hard to strike a balance on that fence. </admiration>

I used to listen to Beck on the radio about five/six years ago when I was working building sets for a community theatre. I found about 1/3 of his ranting relevant. 1/3 didn't interest me. 1/3 made me shout expletives at the radio. But around the time of the 2004 election, folks like Beck, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity became even more polarized than I'd ever noticed. Or maybe they were always like that and I was, for the first time, making note of it. They had all become mouthpieces for the administration, cheerleaders for war.

Radio to TV, daily shows expanded, and the wingnut media bled finally bled into mainstream television in May of 2006 with Glenn Beck's show. The parts I've seen have inflamed my anger and lowered my tolerance towards ignorance. I was actually in the process of compiling reconstituted pieces of his mindless logorrhea when his audio appeared on NPR. And Think Progress beat me to it. From their story, some of Beck's more memorable bits:

The anti-gay slur "faggot" is nothing more than "a naughty name." [1/23/07]

"What happened to the Duke lacrosse team was practically a lynching without the rope. And for the first time in my life, Mr. Oreo Cookie without the chocolate on the outside can understand why people celebrated when O.J. Simpson was acquitted." [1/15/07, using a racial slur for African-Americans that refers to being black on the outside and white on the inside]

"[W]hat I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.'" [11/14/06, on what he would like to say to Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), the first elected Muslim member of Congress]

"I wonder if I’m alone in this — you know it took me about a year to start hating the 9-11 victims’ families? Took me about a year." [9/9/05]

"And that’s all we’re hearing about, are the people in New Orleans. Those are the only ones we’re seeing on television are the scumbags." [9/9/05]

Interestingly, the story talks about how Beck criticized Limbaugh and divisive rhetoric in a classic pot/kettle moment (don't worry, he's categorically denied that he meant what he said).

I impetus of the onus to create this entry was the "naughty name" comment. "Faggot" is a naughty word, but it's also a slur, which has its roots in bigotry, which has its roots in ignorance. GLADD's pissed. And CNN is backing him. Makes no difference: Glenn Beck wins the WTF Award.

All these guys, but Beck in particular, remind me of the kid in Jr. High and High School who always talked shit; he never had much logical reasoning, but always had an audience. That kid grew up and got a radio show. Then a contract with CNN. And that kid's audience grew up too and they pined for his tales and antics and eventually found their surrogate on the AM dial or cable news.

Which leaves me. And while the Nancy Grace / Glenn Beck evening combo congeals into the most unwatchable four hours of television nightly, I watch on occasion. Because it's good to know what idiots heads are being filled with. Because, every once in a while, it's good to clench your jaw, shake your fist, and shout naughty names at the television.

"One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say."
- Will Durant

Guilford College: Muslim Madness

Local hullabaloo. Yay meatheads!


Pic from WXII-12.

Depending on the report source, this past Friday night or Saturday morning at Guilford College, between 15 and 30 students, most/all from the football team, beat the hell out of three Palestinian students. These guys get the WTF award. Indications are that it was racially/religiously motivated.

Ever since I was in grade school I have noticed that a few components of human nature, in the right mix, often combine into the worst exemplifications of human behavior.

Ignorance Necessary basis of any attack, ignorance of one or many facts or realities. "Ignorance just means not knowing. That's easy to fix. Not like stupid. There's no fixin' stupid."
Pride Usually vague, such as pride in American values, which polarizes values of the rest of the world as indecent. Also misappropriately manifests after the beating/before the arrest as pride in self.
Misplaced aggression Nothin' better than good ol' misplaced male aggression. Hate your dad? Get drunk and start a fight.
Pressure Parental, peer, societal, mob, perceived or real.
Strength In numbers or muscle, direct physical attacks require you to be bigger than them.
Violence Verbal or physical, the violence is the culmination of the aforementioned traits, the end result of idiocy.

When I was in college, one of my closest friends grew out his hair and beard. In a dark bar, he looked a little like a short Sayid from Lost. More than once he heard some ignorant asshat blurt out: "Fuckin' Arab." The problem with that distinction is that he's Italian.

This is the mentality we're dealing with. The first Iraq action/incident/campaign gave American ignorance and hate an outlet in the form of the tan-skinned Middle Easterner. The second has simply informed us a little more, so that when we're beating the snot out of someone who's skin is a little darker (or lighter) than our own, we can shout "Muslim" instead of "Arab."

As for the local show of violence, the FBI is looking into it as a hate crime. If only sentencing could include a serious ass-kicking followed by six months of study in Israeli-occupied Palestine.

Give War a Chance: State of the Union '07

CBS News has the full video of the speech.

The state of the union is... well, you decide. Bush didn't address the desire for change mandated in the shift in power last November. He said what people were thinking he was going to say, not as a broken, defeated, lame duck, but not with a great deal of conviction either. Here are some highlights as I saw them.

Greeting Pelosi
Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) was the most prominent change in the environment last night, and Bush handled it well, but not too well. He congratulated her on her distinction as the first female speaker. He went on to talk about bipartisanship. But he never linked the two. A mention of Pelosi's progress since taking office, often with a spirit that crossed the aisle to get things done might have been nice.

Faces in the Crowd
I believe the shots of the distinguished audience come in two flavors: Appropriate to the content of the president's speech and "Aww man, look at that face; take camera 4." As there is no comedy in the former, here is some of the latter.

Hillary Clinton - Early on we saw Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY). Aside from the odd Donna Reed hair flip and pearls combo, the face was striking. The slightly curled lips, the scrunched mouth, the utter look of contempt on her face combined with the slight lean and cock of the head read thusly: "You liar. You stupid bastard liar. Every thought out of your head is ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag." At least that's how I read it.

Ted Kennedy - You can't always get a laugh out of Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA) like you used to. Last night was not one of those nights. Also seen early on, the man looked like a hangover in skin. His fingers on his temples, his eyes barely opened, a great grimace of anguish on his face. Based on the mathematics of drinking shifted to Ted's experience and body weight, it can be calculated that he had been drinking heavily, probably mixing beer/wine/whiskey from 10am to 4pm, caught 4 hours of sleep, and woke up as walking death.

Condoleezza Rice - Dr. Condoleezza Rice is usually a staid member of the former, boring group. But CNN got one hell of a shot of her last night. It was about halfway through the speech, and she was hunched over in such a way as to make her forehead huge, her eyes sink way the hell back into her head, and a scowl that I am beginning to believe is her "at rest" face. She looked awful. Yes, even worse than this.

To Blink or Not to Blink
The president is front and center. He's talking about the state of our union. He's addressing "important stuff." But all I could see was the Cheney/Pelosi dynamic going on in the background. It was like a morality play without the moral lesson. The first thing I noticed was Pelosi's constant, constant blinking. She was averaging over one blink per second. It was distracting. What was even more distracting about it was the contrast to Cheney. The vice president, now apparently almost completely cyborg, was blinking once every 12 to 17 seconds. This gives the value of one Cheney blink as about fifteen Pelosi blinks. Blinking means nervous; nervous can be interpreted as weakness.

Direct notes: Pelosi, stop chewing the inside of your mouth. Pretend you are on camera all the time because, for the most part, you are. Pelosi and Cheney, if you got a piece of ribeye fat caught in your meat-catcher at dinner, floss before the damn speech. Or dig it out at the table like every other red-blooded American.

Hints at Iran
I did spend a little too much time focusing on the Pelosi/Cheney dynamic, but I couldn't miss the three or more mentions of Iran as a threat. Syria was thrown in as well. Some rumors in the wind hint at us attacking Iran within the next year. Was Bush steeling us for this eventuality?

Private Citizen what?
I'm not sure I got this or just misheard it. By the look on the faces of the Joint Chiefs, they felt the same way. Did Bush really say something about bringing private citizens to Iraq? Is this to support the troops? Is this just trying to get more folks over there without the necessity of joining the armed forces? How is this different from private contracting? More to come as everyone starts digging a little deeper.

Give War a Chance
C'mon guys, really doodz. I'm tryin' here and we're really gonna win, man. Really. I just sent a bunch more guys over and more guys and weapons and bullets means more better killin' the terrorists, doesn't it? If you don't think so then maybe you're a terrorist too. Just gimmie some more time, man. Success. I'll have it for you, I just need more time. I know we've been there a while and it's only getting worse, not to mention the (shh!) civil war that may be in the works/on the way/already occurring. But more guys and private citizens and Iran's bad. God bless.

Webb's rebuttal
Let's get this out of the way: the content was fine. Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA) has relevance with a son in Iraq, he doesn't fully agree with the party line on Iraq withdrawal which gives him believability as a real person.

I'm guessing as soon as the camera was turned off, someone got their ass beat. Take a look (CBS News Video of Dem Response here). Webb's speech was slowed down. There were pregnant pauses trouncing all over the place. His head was cut off. I don't know what goon of a little intern was running things over there, but it made the whole thing ridiculous. When shooting a speaker, you give them "head room," or a little gap above their head in the shot. That was missing. And the person running the teleprompter was running things a little slow. I can understand a freshman senator's lack of formal TV time, but a good teleprompter runner can follow anyone (look how well the president came off). It seems Webb was aware of the absurdity of the situation as well because about 3/4 of the way through his eight minute speech, he started to get the "smiles." The content of his speech was not appropriate to grinning, but he was doing so. I was genuinely afraid he'd break into giggles and be unable to stop. In a way it made him more real. In a way it was unprofessional. It's only funny if it happens to the folks on SNL.

And that was the state of the State of the Union.