Stephanie Mohr's Appeal - a.k.a. Money-Suckers

Because I belong to several right-wing newsletters, I receive a great deal of silly emails. The most absurd are generally from "partners" of Human Events shucking miracle cardio cures and conservative books. And then there is shameless pandering.



This is Stephanie Mohr, her attack dog, and her kid. According to the email:

In 1995, Mohr was answering a call for backup about two men that were burglary suspects. These two suspects, Ricardo Mendez and Herrera Cruz, who are illegal aliens, were ordered to face the wall by Mohr and several other officers. As they were ordered to do so, Mendez made a movement that Officer Mohr thought was an attempt to run.

As Mohr was trained to do, she let her police dog go. The dog chased Mendez, grabbed him on the leg, and held him. The procedure that Mohr followed to capture the suspects was within standard police guidelines.

Beep-bee (that was me beeping off the Bullshit Alarm). After some 5 years, the Civil Rights Division stepped in and said "Oh-noh-you-di-in" and she's now serving year 5 of her 10 year sentence.

Why? Well, you can get the straight story elements from Snopes:

• Steph and her dog have quite a history of violence
• In this case, the dog was not supposed to be released except in self-defense, and her partner wasn't supposed to beat the shit out of the other guy, either

So, perhaps Stephanie's son would be getting bedtime kisses if his mommy wasn't a bad person. Then again, we could always blame it on the patriarchy, since Stephanie's place in the phalocentric police force was probably defined by her aggressive behavior.

But the best point to be made on this email is that it's not really calling for anyone to do anything about Stephanie; she was convicted, pure and simple. The story about Stephanie is being used by the Law Enforcement Legal Defense Fund to emotionally appeal to readers and - you guessed it - make them give the LELDF money.

The real kick in the dog balls also comes from Snopes: According to a 2004 report in The Daily Record, the LELDF's "most recent filing with the state shows the fund spent about 18 cents for each dollar collected to defend police officers — up from 7.5 cents in 2000."

Shady legal defense funds, coloring criminals as victims to empty your pockets, all coming from a right-wing email. Is anyone surprised?

The Ultra-Deep Field - Most Important Image Ever Taken

It's difficult sometimes to remember our place in the universe. I once had the Hubble image (or part of it), the Ultra-deep field, as my wallpaper because it allowed me to stare at something every day that could leave me paralyzed with a sense of awe.

This video walks you through the process and it's worth every minute.

Phone Sex Photo Essay

Mother Jones has an amazing photo essay on the phone sex trade.

The pictures are interesting, but the words are enlightening. Enjoy.

Little Shambles Friday YouTube

Hey, let's start something else new that I won't follow up on!

Since my daughter - known to you as 12-year-old Little Shambles - is starting to fascinate herself with the internets, I thought every Friday we could take a look at what she's looking at YouTube. No, this is not from Bluecoat K9 logs, but from what she tells me she likes and looks at.

This is Fred (on Father's Day):



It is pretty damn funny, even if the speed of it almost sets off a panic attack. Allow me to counter with something I haven't poked at you yet but has been one of my pieces of wonderfulness.

Happy Tree Friends

Pastors Challenge IRS

From ABC News:

But when [Minnesota pastor Gus] Booth addressed the members of his Warroad Community Church one Sunday in May and told them, "If you are a Christian, you cannot support a candidate like Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton for president," he very much knew he was violating the law. He even wrote a letter to the IRS explaining what he had said and challenging the tax collection agency to do something about it.

Good. Roast that motherfucker.

This is a man, leader of a church, a parish, a flock, who has tangible sway over his followers, his sheep. He - or his church leaders - formed Warroad Community Church and was granted, as a privilege of the United States of America, tax exempt status as a religious organization. There was this one thing, though, that he agreed to wholeheartedly to keep all his monies: don't endorse politically. Period.

This is not to mention that Gus is blasting against the two candidates who have not been to war. This is church. This is Christianity which is based on the Commandments of Moses and pushed through the Greatest Commandments. And Thou Shalt Not Kill does not have an asterisk after it, no matter how ig/noble the war, nor does "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Strip that church. Do it now. Or we will have churches all over America pushing both ways. And we will open the floodgates to a nightmare between now and November.

Gummy Bear Song - English ...Hungarian?

So this is what the kids are doing on YouTube. In an ongoing effort to keep up with Little Shambles, if she wants to show me a video on YouTube, I'm game, and get particularly giddy when she shows me something I saw six months ago. That is not the case here.

From Wikipedia:

"I Am Your Gummy Bear (The Gummy Bear Song)" is a novelty dance song by German composer Christian Schneider and released by Gummibear International that received international and internet meme success, in part, due to its corresponding 30-second video clip.[4][5] The song has since been released in at least seven languages and has virally spread worldwide with more than 30 million plays of the corresponding videos on YouTube and MySpace.[4] With the song ready-made for ringtone use one critic commented "he's the ultimate cross-platform, cross-cultural phenomenon YouTube was designed to unleash."

You can, of course, view the magic in the English version, but I prefer its original Hungarian here ("Itt van a Gumimaci").




...then again, it's mildly reminiscent of the original Hamster Dance from about a decade ago.

30 Seconds with Craigslist

Found on Craigslist:

19 year Old cutie LOOKING FOR RIGHT now Need Grocery Funds - w4m - 19 ([Location])
Reply to: pers-724714102@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-18, 8:00PM EDT


Please no game players need to do this NOW kids dont have cereal for morning brandi NO ENDLESS EMAILS OR BS

I really don't know if I'm supposed to be amused or horribly affected. I think it's a little bit of both.

Obama, the Antichrist

Plenty of people in America don't like Obama. Some dislike his policies, some dislike that he's a Democrat, some don't like black people, and some are wondering if he's the Antichrist.

I'm not joking. Run a search on "Obama antichrist" and it will turn up a lovely slew of sites, most likely including the blog Barack Obama the Antichrist.

Unfortunately, many of the attacks we'll see on Barack Obama in the months leading up to November's election will be from people searching, searching so hard, to kill Obama's character in a way that - while unproven or ridiculous or absurd - is simply a form of knocking him down without being directly racist.

As dirty as it is, many Americans don't like black people. The tradition of the Republican party is non-inclusiveness. So in order to appeal to rational human beings who think hate and killing is wrong, those against Obama are furiously resulting in tactics that attack but do not include race.

I'm not a sucker and I don't believe that every attack on Obama is racism redefined, nor do I believe that he necessarily has all the experience necessary to be a great president. But given our 2 choices: geriatric confusion or n00b step-in, I'm shooting for the n00b. Let him in, let him win, let him occasionally fail. And let us have a voice to rail against it. But let Barack Obama into the leadership instead of the Bomb Iran, Keating guy.

McCain is not a good man. I think Obama is.

And, no, I do not believe he is the Antichrist. And if McCain's Hagee did, he'd let it happen for the delicious return of Jesus X2.

Firefox 3.0!

As a writer, I can't stand any writing that uses "!" at any time. If the language is forceful, the "!" is implied.

I'm using "!"

Firefox 3.0, bitches!

If you didn't think that FF already pwnd MSIE 7, then you will make that connection this round. Huge betterment. Download here to affect the Guinness Book of World Records most downloads in one day record.

Now, people! Firefox!

Unless, of course, you operate Safari on a Mac. Lucky.

So where's my Pimpzilla skin for 3.0? Sweetest skin evar.

What the Customer Actually Wanted

I think I saw this a while back and can't seem to find the source. Enjoy while I continue to look.

NOM California: Yay Bigotry!

The National Organization for Marriage California sent me some hate email in the form of a celebratory call to action:

We've succeeded in the first phase of the most critical battle in the nation over the future of marriage. On Monday, the Secretary of State of California certified that we had the signatures necessary to get the California Marriage Amendment on the ballot. Thanks to the efforts of everyone who prayed, donated, volunteered, circulated or signed the California Marriage Amendment petition, the voters of California will have the chance to overrule our Supreme Court and protect marriage in our state.

So, horray for NOM for bigotry! Horray for inequality! Horray for ignorance!

The email goes on to scare the homophobes even more, that if you live in California that means more queers and if you don't then your state could be next. Queers I say! Queers!



So if NOM California is so bent on limiting the rights of same-sex couples, why is their token heterosexual couple composed of a woman and a shorter, wispy-haired manifestation of chemotherapy androgyny, photoshopped with a butt-chin?

MoveOn.org "Not Alex" Video

I actually have to thank Andrew Wilkow for alerting me to this video. Of course, he calls it "nonsense" when I find it emotionally compelling. And it's not just McCain's "100 years" comment, but his lackadaisical tossing around of the bombing of Iran that will drive this country past its volunteer military capacity, forcing a draft. And anyone who can't put those pieces together is blinded by their own nonsense.

Jesus Jokes

So Jesus walks into an inn, slaps down three spikes on the counter and says "Hey, could you put me up for the night?"



What? Not enough? Okay...



Just as an angry, stone-wielding crowd is about to close in on a defenseless woman, Jesus steps in and says "Those without sin may cast the first stone."

For several seconds, a dead silence hangs in the air, until a stone comes flying from the crowd, hits the woman right between the eyes, and kills her instantly.

Jesus surveys the crowd and says "Damn it, Ma, sometimes you really piss me off!"

Ancient Roman D20 - $18,000

Being sold at Christie's



+100 Nerd Coolness; +10 Rich Coolness; -18,000 Gil; Shields bearer from Old Skool attacks.

(via BoingBoing).

Gay for America Again

I know I did this once, but since I'm going all official and scouring my MySpace so no potential clients can find objectionable content related to my name (I know, I'm selling out), I mourn this death from my page:


The Whitest Kids U'Know: Totally Gay for America

OMG - Peepul Stickin Needles In Emselves

Sometimes the most educated of us sound like the least (and I only say that because "retarded" is not PC).

AFP Reports that piercings can cause complications, especially if you try to do it by yourself or another non-professional:

The researchers surveyed 10,000 people aged over 16. A total of 1,049 people had a piercing, with 1,943 piercings in total across the group.

More than a quarter of those questioned (28 percent) suffered complications like swelling, infection and bleeding, while a minority also admitted to piercings of the tongue, lips and genitals without proper assistance. The research was published in the online version of the British Medical Journal.

This type of story and even the basic idea is not new: Something is potentially dangerous but cool. Idiots flock to dangerous. Sometimes idiots do not have money and/or intelligence to do the proper research and take "potentially" to "problematically." A researcher takes notice, takes a poll, and - gasp! - idiots are in danger.

Unfortunately, the idiots are given the spotlight and nuance is passed as medically viable. Some swelling and some bleeding is not abnormal when you stick a needle through your skin. Proper care and instruction is mandatory but not accounted for.

Honestly, this article makes me think some prude doctor saw a movie and said "OMG - Peepul Stickin Needles In Emselves" after seeing a kid with a lebret in the film.

Anyone can take something that is potentially dangerous and either turn it into 99% safe or 99% deadly.

I jump out of planes.

Idiots should not.

Kenya Bows to Basic Christian Ideals: Hunt Them Witches!

CNN Says:

It may be difficult for modern-day Western cultures to fathom, but in Western Kenya, beliefs in ghosts and witches are very real. And sometimes they have deadly consequences.

In late May, news outlets in Kenya told the story of 15 people, mostly elderly women, who were murdered in a witch hunt near the town of Kisii. The killings shocked the nation.

Villagers said more than 100 people gathered machetes and knives and stormed the village of Kegogi after midnight.

"They started banging on the doors, they broke into the house and then they killed our grandmother inside," says Justus Bosire. "The mob was screaming and we panicked. We ran away and they came to our house and burned it to the ground."

Initial reaction: Holy shit! What the fuck is going on here? And then a moment of reflection upon a later quote:

"I believe there is witchcraft and the witches kill," Magoma says while building a chapel. His fellow workers concur: Witches exist and can put spells on people.

Ooooohhhhh. It's native Kenyan pagan beliefs that have been flipped on their fucking head by Christian missionaries, and in this post-colonial, post-modern world - where, in this case, the world isn't even modern yet - no one knows heads or tails because everything is going to shit and they gave us a Bible and that's at least tangible and the Bible says:

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

- Exodus 22:18 (King James Version)

...so since bad shit is happening and even though according to our new-found beliefs only God has those powers, we need to blame it on someone: kill the witches!

"modern-day Western cultures" is a relative term. The folks in Salem considered themselves such.

Thank you, Jesus.

Happy Paraskavedekatriaphobia!

Paraskavedekatriaphobia is a fancy-ish word for fear of Friday the 13th. And today it's Friday the 13th! Be afeared!

You can read about the superstitious element at Wikipedia.

For me, Friday the 13th reminds me that tomorrow is Saturday the 14th, and when I was 11 years old, my friend David and I thought it would be a good idea to see the movie Saturday the 14th Strikes Back.


Analyze this poster for 2 minutes. I dare you. WTF?

We never saw the original, and after seeing the sequel were not inspired to do so. At 11, I was suddenly schooled in how a movie could suck ass. And this was before I was regularly using words like "trite," "tired," and the derogatory version of "quaint." After so long, having gained so much knowledge of art and entertainment, the tag line "WARNING: This movie starts where others chicken out!" makes my eyes water with sorrow and embarrassment for the very existence of the movie. This is artistic feces, churning and bubbling into the methane of poisonous memory.

Anyone have a match?

Tim Russert Dies at 58

Tim Russert, NBC News’ Washington bureau chief and the moderator of “Meet the Press,” died Friday after being stricken at the bureau, NBC News said Friday. He was 58.

He will be missed.

Coulter Says...

From Ann:

In a conversation recently, I mentioned as an aside what a great president George Bush has been and my friend was surprised. I was surprised that he was surprised.

I generally don't write columns about the manifestly obvious, but, yes, the man responsible for keeping Americans safe from another terrorist attack on American soil for nearly seven years now will go down in history as one of America's greatest presidents.

A-hahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Ahhh...hahhaahahaha!

Ann Coulter, your supposed satire is priceless!