That Whole Palin Biden Thing

I know I promised a point-by-point, but about halfway through, I almost turned it off.

Biden spoke commandingly and knowledgeably about all the topics, outlining what an Obama administration would mean for America. Palin was informed, but much of the time blatantly refused to answer the question at hand, and did not address how a McCain administration would be better than Bush. Ifill, brow-beaten by the media about her book and docile to avoid any and all criticism, refused to play any role as a moderator with follow-up questions, and decided tossing out subjects without enforcement was a better way to handle things.

No one biffed too hugely and no one over-dominated. In other words, it was boring. And Friday the left wing declared Biden the winner and the right wing radio folks were giddy as schoolgirls because Palin didn't shit herself on stage.

And where the fuck were the chairs?

Catullus on Aemilius

Mrs. Shambles had to write something for a Roman history class, and I found this lovely, contemporary translation of Catullus. For those of you who don't know, Catullus was an Ancient Roman poet, contemporary of Caeser and Cicero whose straightforward, unapologetic, and sometimes baudy language makes him a joy to read. He's been compared at times to Charles Bukowski. Here's a sample:

97.

I almost can't tell if it makes any difference
greeting Aemilius from the front or behind.
The smell is so awful. Perhaps his ass is less
hideous because it has no teeth. The ones he has are a foot long,
his gums are rotting, and his lips are like a donkey's
cunt as it parts on a hot day when she is taking a piss.
He says he fucks the girls. He thinks he's charming.
He is so dumb he can't even walk a miller's donkey
around a grinding wheel. If there's a woman anywhere
who would touch him, she'd have no problem licking the
diseased ass of an aged hangman as he waits between jobs.


Who thought Roman poetry could be so much fun?

Palin vs. Biden. And...Fight!

Yes, this debate would be so much better as a modified version of Mortal Kombat with Palin's Brain Short Circuit and Biden's Howl-Down fatalities, but where's the schadenfreude in that?

I haven't done it in a while, but I'll have an entry up tomorrow morning about the ensuing absurdity that will be the sit-down chat the VP candidates are having tonight. Which means, if you do not recall, any point I think is worth noting, snidely commenting about, or ranting on.

Getchur popcorn and pringles and pinot grigio ready. It's going to be a good'un.

UPDATE: I watch about 20 minutes a day of MSNBC unless I'm lucky to be free to catch whatever I can of Olbermann. I did, however see this exchange with Matthews about whether Biden will help Palin adjust her chair at the debate.

As opposed to Mortal Kombat style, I'd prefer this part to be very Jerry Springer. You know, Palin "represents Joe six-pack," so perhaps she should set the tone by running out on stage, picking up her own chair, and clobbering Biden, screaming "Adjust that, you insider BLEEP-er!" And bald-ass Steve comes out and just crosses his arms and everything settles down until Palin is asked about Russia and she leaps on Biden, trying to claw his eyes out, screaming "Russia ate my first kid, you BLEEP-er!"

And then they bust out the paternity test.

Or not. But one can wish.

The Ignorant Vote

I've talked about it before. Case in point:



To clarify: Barack Obama is only half plain-woven cotton fabric.

Obama Biden Terrorism

My brother brought this up to me right after the Biden announcement, wondering - with all the Muslim-hatin' Conservatives out there - why chose Biden?

O(b,s)ama Bi(n La)den

I'm waiting for the nutters to go there. If they haven't already.

Palin on Reading: Ummmmm...

Sarah Palin was asked what newspapers she reads on a regular basis to stay informed. The Journalist cum Governor cum VP Candidate got involved in the following verbal version of Chevy Chase playing President Ford:

COURIC: And when it comes to establishing, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and understand the world?

PALIN: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

COURIC: Like what ones specifically?

PALIN: Umm… all of them. Any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.

COURIC: Can you name any of them?

PALIN: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news… Alaska isn’t a foreign country where it’s kind of suggested it seems like, wow how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, DC may be thinking and doing, when you live up there in Alaska. Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

I believe she should be in the cast of Heroes for season 3; every time Palin speaks, the basic lack of coherence causes short-circuits in the analytical parts of thinking peoples' brains with the apparent, intentional goal of turning the country into a bunch of drooling goons who will finally accept the still lingering bullshit fear that Obama is a Muslim. In other words, her super power is the ability to make the world like West Virginia and guarantee a McCain landslide.

McCain Don't Know Nothin' 'Bout No Economies

Brave New Films:



What an asshat.

Corruption Under the Radar: U.S. Attorneys

I know everyone's poop-headed over Palin and making sure their portfolios aren't swimming with the fishes (hint: they're probably not), but hey, do you remember that one time when the Bush Administration fired those nine U.S. Attorneys and everyone was all like "You can't do that with partisan politics" and Gonzales was all "We're so not" and liberal bloggers were all "Uh-huh!" and Bush was like "Um, nun-uh?"

A 400 page report has been released with the following conclusion:

"Our investigation found significant evidence that political partisan considerations were an important factor in the removal of several . . . U.S. attorneys."

No shit. Eugene Robinson has a good bit at WaPo. Pass it around.

Kucinich on the Bailout

Almost makes me want to move back to Cleveland.

We'll Call It: The Sarah Palin Stain

I do believe the Republicans have been shitting themselves for the last few weeks, and the squeezes have become more stringent in the last few days, as Palin prepares herself to be chewed up, humiliated, belittled, and spat out by none other than Joe Biden this coming Thursday.

I can't fucking wait.

But the spots on the conservatives' pants are beginning to show.

I have unverified reports from Mrs. Shambles who heard it on NPR that there is a movement afoot on the right to pull her from the ticket.

Oh, please, please, please keep her. It's been so much fun attacking the blind faith ditto-heads the last few weeks with reality.

Updates if this pans out.

e-Sympathy

While I was away last week, a company I've been working with for almost three years sent me an e-card expressing sympathy, dated the day after the funeral. Because of spam filters, I got it this morning.

I think I'd appreciate the sentiment if it felt like there was any there. The equivalent of a curt email with clip art? Late? I was going to say "talk about phoning it in," but making a phone call may have actually taken ten minutes.

Is this a statement about society, or a single case of egregious laziness? Is it ever appropriate for real-life people with whom you have real-life relationships send an e-card when someone close to you has died?

What do you think?

Still on the Andrew Wilkow

Even though I posted Andrew Wilkow: My New Pain in the Ass back at the beginning of March, it's one of those posts that just won't die: every week or so I get another comment, usually from a conservative troll, sans grammatical or linguistic ability, too afeared to post anything except as Anonymous.

This week was no different. Anonymous first seemed centerist, argued that aesthetic traits (whiny) are irrelevant to any argument against a person. Then:

"Most liberal statements are, in all truth, irrelevant, or crafted in a manner which simply appeals to aesthetics and the dog-like qualities."

Ah, to the crux. I replied:

Most critical conservative statements are generalizations, based on untruths, peppered with obfuscation, and punctuated with one thing the ignorant masses can hang onto, such as "he's a commie!"

Liberals also tend to be more internet savvy and understand the importance of signing posts and owning your own words.

And on a sidenote, aesthetics carries a great deal of relevance, especially when all you have to go on is the voice itself. If your word choice, tone, temperament, and speech pattern peg you - in my mind - as a collar-popping guido douchebag, there's not much you can say that can break through that. Lynn Samuels has a voice like nails on a chalkboard interrupted by a smoke detector. Hence, I don't listen.

Finally, tips for credibility. This is for you, trolls! Want to come across as intelligent? Here's how:

• Post using your username and claim some responsibility for your words
• Grammar and spelling are important; Firefox has built-in spellcheck.
• Make a substantial (or humorous) post without devolving into "ur a stupid librl whoz stupid n stuff"

I know. That last one is probably asking a bit too much.

Back & Damien Jurado

I'm back, but my head's still not in the game. Heard a new artist while I was away: Damien Jurado.



Yeah, that's the tone of my aura at the moment.

I did get an unsolicited DVD of Obsession: Radical Islam's War Against the West in the mail today from The Clarion Fund. I'll have to take a look at it. Soon. Soon.

Vader Lovin

This from Gizmodo, who is having a caption contest on this most disturbing image.

My fav? McCain/Palin '08!

Brilliant.

(p.s. This is my 666 post)

Grandpa

I got the call this morning. He died in the night. (previous post) Off to Cleveland for a few days. Wake on Saturday, funeral Monday. Just about the only thing Catholics don't do on Sunday is bury their own. We'll have to get drunk instead.

I guess the weirdest part for me (and for everyone who goes through the death of someone close) is the sense of isolationism, like the temporal bubble in the sixth world in Braid for Xbox 360 Live Arcade. For those living outside of Kingdom Dork, it's slipping into another world, returning to family, sharing a time, sharing a space completely unique to you and your loved ones; dramas will erupt, sadness will prevail, flippantly change sex mid-stream to joy, and quickly revert, and no one else knows about it. No one else is privy to that chunk of reality. And you might catch a glimpse of that outside world, some snippet of television news, and say "meh, that doesn't concern me" because you're in that subjective bubble and you're not wrong for pausing, the world's wrong for going on and you just want to fucking shake it and scream "Goddamnit, STOP! Look! Here! Take a fucking second and recognize that a wonderful man has died, forever dedicated to his family, a war hero that killed not one living person, saved lives as a firefighter, then prevented deaths as a fire inspector, someone who has inspired two generations going on three. Grandpa. Stop. Look...."

But I guess there is solace in the fact that when I get back, John McCain will still be a douchebag. Some constants will weather the temporal bubble.

And I'm going to need some solid, positive energy come Monday morning. I'm apparently the only grandchild giving a eulogy. And if you've been reading a while, I can be an emotional disaster.

Thanks in advance.

I'll post when I can.

Today's Special - A Whole New World

My friend Brent sent me a lovely link to Today's Special that talks lovely smack about Palin's Pad in Alaska. It's a wonderful blog that I will soon Linktastica! for posterity, something it could have garnered simply because of being called Today's Special and having a picture of Muffy (Nickelodeon fans of yore unite!).

But this is good. I actually read back to April of this year because it was so wonderful and caught this gem. Watch it all the way through.

Electric Slide - Cincinnati Style - YAY!

Well, it's been done: our little part of Cincinnati got back on the juice and not only that, but Time Warner wasn't a total wanker, and I'm writing this to you on my computer! On the internets! Yay!



I, of course, mean that apprehensively. Yay means over 200 emails to slush through, an angry company out-of-state that doesn't have understanding or empathy outside a 20 mile radius, and lots of catch-up.

It also means that I have and others do not: still, hundreds of thousands are without power, and trying to find lunch - let alone a place that takes a credit card machine - can take you ten miles out during a gas shortage in the area.

Pictures tomorrow. Must reconnect.

Mobile - Cincinnati Darkness Again

500K still out.

I was driving around, hunting for lunch today and snagged this pic. May have to click on the biggie, but there's a street sign attached to that mound.

Fridges and freezers out everywhere, spotty power, but Duke's pulling NC resources to join the TX callback and hoping I can join the living sometime soon.

More tomorrow on the Cincinnati Ike 2008 mess.

Tons of pics when I get the internets.

Mobile - Still Darkness in Cincinnati

Yesterday, we pulled out the camping stuff and grilled some eggs and ham and toast before it all went bad. Everything else in the fridge found the bottom of a garbage bag.

We spent about three hours clearing debris from the yard, took a couple walks, found a sole mom n pop place with a very limited menu.

And then the novelty wore off. I know - spoiled, whiny. I think if I had to hunker down and truly get into survival mode (like when the zombies come), I'll be good. But we keep hearing on Little Miss Shambles' battery operated, lime green radio of an unnamed ten thousand that has power and I keep thinking 'we're next.'

Last numbers sometime yesterdsy were 2 million homes out in Ohio, still over 500,000 out in Cinci area, with Hamilton Co. In an official State of Emergency.

And yes, I'm only posting because I pulled a charge from the car.

More later. After we find some food.

Mobile - The Darkness in Cincinnati

While the damage in Texas is still being assessed, Sunday saw much of Ohio - Cinci in particular - bitch-slapped by the back hand of Ike. No rain; all wind.

This image is a car across the street with a tree on top. Dozens of streets were closed due to power lines and trees. Our power went out around 3pm to add to the grand total of an estimated 680,000 in the Cinci area without power. And it could be 3-4 days before everyone's back.

As of 4am, jockey on the oldies station (only one I can get in, of course) said Duke Energy said it was down to 603,000, but was quoted as saying this is like nothing -evar- that they'd seen.

Mobile updates if I can, but have to preserve the charge on the phone. Thank goodness I just got a car charger. Gas = blogging; how green is that?

One last bit. The car in the image is a Saab with temp tags, purchased on the 7th. We met the owners yesterday evening. Turns out it was only parked there because the clutch on their new car had gone out.

It could be worse; I could be that guy.