In Short: Mark Levin is Retarded

I just turned to SIRIUS Patriot to hear Mark Levin spout that the life expectancy in the US is not at par with other first world nations because people in the US drive cars with less steel and less size and you're not going to survive a crash in one of those tiny cars.

He has apparently never been to a foreign country, where tiny cars is pretty much the f'ing rule. Small cars, fuel economy, etc. Standard. Throughout Europe.

I suggest Mark to to Ireland and - if he can find it - drive around in an Escalade. He might be able to make it through the streets of major cities, i.e. Dublin. But he will never find a place to park, and if he ever has to travel outside the city, he will kill the first person he meets crossing many wide swaths of roads that are about 9 feet wide and lined with ancient stone walls.

That's why they have small cars there. Douche.

And he's going on, but I'll just say: Mark, the phrase is "Waiting for the OTHER shoe to drop" not "waiting for another shoe to drop."

Stop lying. Grow a brain.

(CLICK)

Lost Dog

You ever turn a corner or get out of your car or just unexpectedly see something that turns your act into accidentally walking into a bus, but one just big enough that it plows right into your stomach?

That was me tonight hitting the gas station for smokes after a networking event.

I parked, got out, and gave all the crap scotch taped onto the glass of the AmeriStop a rudimentary glance and then

BLAMMO!

I saw something that looked like this:



Scrawled like that, a faded poster, copied with a cheap nickel copier, terrier in the slightly-skewed picture on the sheet. The "C" was in caps. And no name of the dog. No phone number. Just a sad, silent plea.

And I looked, thought "Aww, sad." Then read the last line and just about fell over. Then supported myself on weak knees as it processed that there was not dog name or phone number.

And for that instant, I don't think I've been that sad in a very, very long time.

So I share with you.

I'll be in the area again next Tuesday and will get a pic if it's still there. I hope to God I just missed something and my memory fails me in sorrow and there was contact information on that poster.

Stupid Shit I Bitch About

This morning I woke up in a state. Grumpy. Angry. Well...hungover a bit to tell you the truth. It was 5:30am. But worse off for the media I imbued during the first 30 minutes of my morning.

I saw the Orbitz Valet commercial. And that killed me. Originally, it went like this:


"Ah, the Hernandez ...'s ...ez"

Brilliant! Hilarious! But apparently someone phoned in and pissed in someone's ear and the commercial I saw this morning went "Ah, the Hernandez's."

Who the fuck ruined that comedy moment? Fuck them!


And then I turned the channel to Headline News and caught the end of a story of some foul, stupid shit where the reporter stated:

"Some Santas are dropping their jokes that bad kids will be getting socks for Christmas. The kids are actually asking for socks in this economy, not video game systems, asking for library cards..."

Asking for library cards? What the fuck place do they live in? What the fuck kids are they talking about? Where did they find the humility that they're reporting on?

What kid is humble to ask for socks? Even if they're barefoot, they're still asking for a fucking Xbox360, begging for a PS3, living on the dream of a DSi. Most kids would eat cardboard while standing barefoot on glass to play a solid video game system.

NO ONE IS ASKING FOR FUCKING SOCKS!

What kid is asking Santa for a fucking library card? THEY'RE FREE!!! Kick Santa in the nads and ask Mom or Dad to take you to the library for your FREE fucking card!

Jeez. Sorry. It was a bad morning.

Continue rocking. Nothing to see here...

3 Flavors Man Moment: Video Games, Politics, and Long-term Crushin'

Bayonetta

I'm playing the Xbox360 demo of Bayonetta. She's some supernatural witch-lady with a suit of hair, square-rimmed glasses, and a mole on her chin in a game that I'd characterize as entertaining and thoughtful button-mashing akin to Devil May Cry.

And then E3 happened:



Damn.


Mika Brzezinski

This is the real reason I watch MSNBC's Morning Joe. At least "Morning Mika" has some alliteration.




Ricci All Day Long

I've been crushing for forever. My wife knows about it. My friend teases me that she has a fivehead. But I can't let go. Just something about her.




Oh, I guess that's about all I need for a man moment right now. Ahhhh.

Next time: that magic tingle slightly fucked up teeth give me. Seriously. Patricia Arquette? Noms. And, of course, the tragedy that comes with orthodontics. Boo.

Picard is Pro Apple Juice, Anti-Panda Rape

RAWR! Van Mural Wednesday!

Here kitty kitty...



RAWR!

In Short: Tear Down That ...Racism!

I was just doing some web work and came across this gem in a timeline:

MARCH 22, 1988

Overriding President Ronald Reagan's veto, Congress passed the Civil Rights Restoration Act, which expanded the reach of nondiscrimination laws within private institutions receiving federal funds.

But wait, isn't it them Republicans that championed Civil Rights? Isn't that what Hannity and Beck and Limbaugh said?

Skiddin' Tires 'n' Stupid!

...yet not the kind of stupid you'd think might end this clip.

Huckabee, Clemmons, and Hypocrisy

You can read a little more about the issue here, but the rundown goes like this: Clemmons was 16 when he was sentenced to 106 years for violent acts. 47 years later, Huckabee was governor of Arkansas and commuted his sentence. Clemmons moved to Washington state and killed 4 police officers. Huckabee say it wasn't his fault. It was Washington's.

WTF?

Standard Republican line: Every criminal, especially violent ones, should be locked up and the key should disappear. Bad enough then it's off with their head, despite that we're in agreement with the same countries we despise when the Good ol' USA breaches the topic of the death penalty. Empty prisons because of overcrowding? Hell NO! Tax and spend and build some more.

I think then-Gov. Huckabee had a Liberal moment, which is kind of like a senior moment but instead of being built on senility, this was built on understanding and compassion, something not generally exhibited by Republicans. Hell, I would've done the same thing.

So why am I even writing about this?

Because of the double standard. If it had been a member of the Democratic Party that had commuted this sentence, the Right Wing, their talk show army, and the Fox footsoldiers would've been all aflourish in and drunk on schadenfreude: Liberals ruining the country, the bleeding heart of the Liberal causes real bleeding, Liberals hate cops, etc. But when a Republican does it, he issues a non-apology and our alleged left-leaning press barely covers the issue.

I guess the silver lining of all this bullshit is one more down. I'm guessing this event, no matter how glossed over, is going to hurt him for Repub nomination 2012, which means my preferred DreamGirl and ClownLady, Sarah Palin, is one step closer to making a complete fool of herself as the nominee.

So what's your take on this whole debacle?

Nudist Streaker Love Story (SFW)

Brilliant and touching :)

OMG! Van Mural Wed on Wed! Eagle!

Are we really doing this again? On a Wednesday?

Well, then: tasty.

Rush Limbaugh is STILL a Big Fat Idiot

You know me and my talk radio.

Well, today I got to hear a particularly fierce breakdown of Rush when a caller challenged him on what he called the "covering up" of those idiot scientists who decided to play with the data in global warming and how their candid conversations would hurt the science behind the theory.

The caller in question said that he was surprised that Rush was all in a tizzy about this, but when the Bush Administration repeatedly censored papers and scientific findings about global warming and its effect on the environment (and the effect carbon emissions were having on the environment), there was not word one from him.

And then Rush got angry. He said that there couldn't be censorship because global warming is a hoax. Then he went on to my paraphrase here:

"There is no such thing as human-caused Global Warming (repeat 3x. oh, let's just do it)! There is no such thing as human-caused Global Warming! There is no such thing as human-caused Global Warming! There is no such thing as human-caused Global Warming! There is no need for health care reform! There is no need for Obama. There is no need for you! You are a menace to our country and a threat to freedom and liberty! There was no censorship because it didn't exist! Those censors did us a favor because it's all a hoax! And they'll come for you first ...because people like you will give up their freedom as long as you put Bush in jail!"

I may have to hunt the actual transcript down because my rendition is pretty damn close, but for the record: the real thing is the very definition of blowing a golden fucknut and frying it in batshit crazy.

So, to clarify: If you believe what is being censored does not actually exist and suckle at the teat of one administration, it is not malicious, governmental overreach of power, but a gracious act. And when the next administration calls it censorship...well, you get it at this point. Rush is still a Bush ball boy and will say ANYTHING - regardless of how mad it sounds - to piss against the Obama wall, even if it's absolute madness because his listeners are so blind, they'll believe anything.

Case in point, an unreported listening last week where a caller stated "I just need you to tell me how I should feel about" health care or something. WTF? And he didn't even correct them, just verbally patted them on the head, sat them on his lap, and told a tale. Like he does every day.

It's getting worse and worse. But the crazy is all good. I'm still hoping for a Palin/Beck 2012 ticket. Yeah, that's what people really want: bring on the tea parties! When it comes down to it, a little too weird and crazy is still a little too weird and crazy and your average American doesn't subscribe to crazy.

Enemies of Mass Effect 2

When it comes to video games, I'm slightly behind the times. I have a PS2, Xbox360, and a Wii. In the last year, I've completed Portal, Mass Effect, and Bioshock, and am finally deep into Half-Life 2. Out of these 4, they were all 10/10, and each had their strengths, but for depth of play and replay value, I'd go Mass Effect hands down.

And so I'm tweaking over these teasers coming out for Mass Effect 2. Here's one embedded for your gaming geek pleasure.

Mass Effect 2 at IGN.com

Colin Meloy (Decemberists) Video

This just makes me very happy. Brilliant. Thanks to Jen ;)

Van Mural Wednesday: Turkey!

I looked and looked and couldn't find a van with a turkey painted on it. Boo!

So how about a van with a turkey in it?



Cause in Russia, van eats turkey.

No, that wasn't supposed to make sense.


But not to disappoint:



You could give 'em a call, but I think they're working on that tire. Or decaying inside the van itself.


Happy Thanksgiving!

Ret. Lt. Allen West's Letter: Tragedy at Ft. Hood

This bad boy's been floating around the internets and inboxes all over the place. Allen West is running for congress in Florida. I find the letter unfocused and misguided, but think it needs to be read in its entirety for what it is. Let me know your thoughts.

Tragedy at Ft Hood
by Allen West
11/09/2009

Last Thursday, 13 American Soldiers were killed and another 30 wounded at a horrific mass shooting at US Army installation, Ft Hood Texas. As I watched in horror and then anger I recalled my two years of final service in the Army as a Battalion Commander at Ft Hood.

My wife and two daughters were stunned at the incident having lived on the post in family housing. A military installation, whether it is Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine, or Coast Guard, is supposed to be a safe sanctuary for our warriors and their families. It is intended to provide a home whereby our “Band of Brothers and Sisters” can find solace and bond beyond just the foxhole but as family units.

A military installation is supposed to be a place where our warriors train for war, to serve and protect our nation. On Thursday, 5 November 2009 Ft Hood became a part of the battlefield in the war against Islamic totalitarianism and state sponsored terrorism. There may be those who feel threatened by my words and would even recommend they not be uttered. To those individuals I say step aside because now is not the time for cowardice. Our country has become so paralyzed by political correctness that we have allowed a vile and determined enemy to breach what should be the safest place in America, an Army post.

We have become so politically correct that our media is more concerned about the pre-shooting stress on the shooter, Major Nidal Malik Hasan. The misplaced benevolence intending to portray him as a victim is despicable. The fact that there are some who have now created an entire new classification called, “pre-virtual vicarious Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)” is unconscionable.

This is not a “man caused disaster”. It is what it is: an Islamic jihadist attack.We have seen this before in March 2003 when a SGT Hasan of the 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) threw hand grenades and opened fire into his Commanding Officer’s tent in Kuwait. We have seen the foiled attempt of Albanian Muslims who sought to attack Ft Dix, NJ.

Recently we saw a young convert to Islam named Carlos Bledsoe travel to Yemen, receive terrorist training, and return to gun down two US soldiers at a Little Rock, Arkansas Army recruiting station. We thwarted another Islamic terrorist plot in North Carolina which had US Marine Corps Base, Quantico as a target.

What have we seen done with all these prevalent trends? Nothing.
What we see are leaders paralyzed and refusing to confront the issue, Islamic terrorist infiltration into America, and possibly further into our Armed Services. Instead we have a multiculturalism and diversity syndrome on steroids.

Major Hasan should have never been transferred to Ft Hood. Moreover, he should have been administratively discharged from the Army. His previous statements, poor evaluation reports, and the fact that the FBI had him under investigation for jihadist website posting should have been sufficient proof. However, what we have is a typical liberal approach to find a victim, not the 13 and 30 but rather the poor shooter. A shooter who we hear was a great American, who loved the Army and serving his nation, and CAIR stating that his actions had nothing to do with religious belief.

We know that Major Hasan deliberately planned this episode; he did give away his possessions. He stood atop a table in the confined space of the Soldier Readiness Center shouting “Allahu Akhbar,” the same chant as the 9-11 terrorists and those we fight against overseas in the Iraq and Afghanistan theaters of operation.

No one in leadership seems willing to sound the alarm for the American people. Our Congress should suspend further action on the preposterous and unconstitutional healthcare bill and resolve the issue of “protecting the American people”.

The recent incidents in Dearborn Michigan, Boston Massachusetts, Dallas Texas, and Chicago Illinois should bear witness to the fact that we have an Islamic terrorism issue in America. And don’t have CAIR call me and try to issue a vanilla press statement: they are terrorist apologists, not a civil rights organization.

We have Saudi Arabia funding close to 80% of the mosques in the United States, one right here in South Florida, Pompano Beach. Are we building churches and synagogues in Saudi Arabia? Of course not. Because they aren’t allowed by the Saudi government. So much for peaceful coexistence.

Saudi Arabia is sponsoring radical Imams who enter into our prisons and convert young men into a virulent ideology….one resulting in four individuals wanting to destroy synagogues in New York with plastic explosives. Thank God the explosives were dummy. They are sponsoring textbooks which present Islamic centric revisionist history in our schools.
We must recognize that there is an urgent need to separate the theo-political radical Islamic ideology out of our American society. We must begin to demand surveillance of suspected Imams and mosques that are spreading hate and preaching the overthrow of our Constitutional Republic……that speech is not protected under First Amendment, it is sedition and if done by an American treason.

I make no apologies for these words, and anyone angered by them, please, go to Ft Hood and look into the eyes of the real victims. The tragedy at Ft Hood Texas did not have to happen. Consider now the feelings of those there and on every military installation in the world. Consider the feelings of the Warriors deployed into combat zones who now are concerned that their loved ones at home are in a combat zone.

Ft Hood suffered an Islamic jihadist attack, stop the denial and realize a simple point.

The reality of your enemy must become your own.

Steadfast and Loyal,
Lieutenant Colonel Allen B West (US Army, Ret)

Van Mural Wednesday? On Wednesday? I Know!

And we'll give you two again because I love you all so much.

There's really nothing to say while basking in the glory of this mural and the rolled up pack of cigs in the short sleeve of that black shirt. No tells here, but the the place I found this named the van Bessie. Of course it is.




And this second one is more of a warning - specifically to Calvin - that the evil, tentacled sea monsters have now mounted a road campaign. Though when this picture was taken is anyone's guess.



Have a great tomorrow!

Mr. Brightside A Cappella

The Killers (kinda) Thank you Calvin:

I Have Seen Hell. It is a Cube.

As many of you know, in the real world I am a web designer/expert running my own business. And since business is not exactly eating up my time and aiding in the paying of the bills, I spent today interviewing for what looks to be a "real" job. I haven't worked in an office proper for about 2 1/2 years.

The interview itself was fine; I didn't know all the techy answers, but no one ever does. I seem to have wowed them with my knowledge and ability to elucidate my experience and skills.

And then it turned weird. I took the tour.



We walked through a very large facility of over 400 employees. It would be the largest company I ever worked for. Cubes everywhere. Cube-y's Cube-y's everywhere, but not a thought to think. I just kept spouting um-hmmm's and okay's as we walked through and more cubes and more cubes with signs above them and every job I've had since college flashed through my mind. Small cube farms, large cube farms, policy binders on shelves, the guy with all his personal crap in his cube, sanctimonious bosses spouting bullshit teamwork rhetoric, team playing, posters of SUCCESS and clever phrases and the HR tourguide lady occasionally glanced at me with a micro emotion of a sneer, behind the look was the true face of a demon and I was getting a tour of my hell.

I was sweating, my stomach sinking, my breathing quickening, and I felt like I was on acid, speeding towards the edge of a panic attack. I kept it together through the rest of it but breathed like I hadn't in a week as soon as I walked out the door. But it lingered - as dusk fell and I drove home, I recalled the temperature and the dimming light and the driving as past lives and jobs and the commute home and the knot in my stomach would not disappear but even tightened and floated around this surreal world that was the second half of my day. I was so wrapped in emotion and fear-control that I got on the highway the wrong way and didn't realize it for 10 miles. It is truly only now, only after a couple beers, that I'm starting to seriously calm.

And writing this helps.

Worst thing is: if I'm offered the position, I really have to take it. Financially, I don't have much choice. Good news is I have a week until they decide and 10 days after that to drum up as much business as possible.

I have never been more motivated in my life.

Positive thoughts and prayers welcome. I'm running the Tommy Boy stretch from here on out.

I have seen hell. It is a cube. A whole series of cubes. With managers' offices along the walls and a common kitchen area with a microwave and fridge. I only pray I need never return but as a visitor.

Sexist White Republican Men

Because that stereotype is a bunch of bunk. Right?

Actually, no. Last Saturday Repub asshole males talked over Democratic Party women talking about health care refrom and how it would benefit women. And a couple Republican women got in on the game to show they could be stupid and censor just as much as the Good ol' Boys Club.

5 minutes of Republican censorship and douchebaggery: