Pirate Limbaugh's Racio-Religious Taunts

When the tales of the Somalian pirates started emerging, we were warned by everyone on the right how terrible this was because it showed us how desperate and dangerous Militant Islamic Extremists could be and how far their reach stretched.

After Obama gave the order to take out the threat because an American was hostage, and it was revealed that the pirates in question were actually in their teens, Rush Limbaugh asked his audience how they felt, how Obama could kill Black Kids.

Those are the words of a race-baiting mongrel.

Oh, and this week he off-handedly mentioned that brokering peace between the Bloods and the Crips would be easy. WTF Rush?

Brilliant, Weird Scrabble Commercial

Of course I found this at BoingBoing.

Wake-Up Walmart: Workers Still Fighting for Change

Even though Obama took the helm, there are still huge problems in the heartland.

Check the video. Do something.

Stereographic Tokyo Photography

Trippy, beautiful, magical. Go full screen and put on a helmet - this will blow your mind. Click and drag to navigate. Warning: motion sickness may ensue. Originally snagged from BoingBoing Gadgets.


Sangaku-tei in Japan

420 Joys: Apple IBong

Video Games - Video Game Cheat Codes - Attack of the Show

Happy 420, Marijuana Fans!

(2nd International Cannabis and Mental Health Conference Programme [PDF] Logo)

Out on errands today, I saw a state police sheriff's car sitting at the local gas station. And I knew he was there not to educate or enlighten the youth of America, but to intimidate anyone coming into the store to buy rolling papers.

Reminds me of the year I spent teaching high school. On 4/20, the staties came in about 1/2 of the way through the day, everyone was evacuated to the football field to tool around and not learn while the school was locked down and the drug-sniffing dogs were run through every building. The entertaining part of that day was explaining to other teachers what 420 was. The ironic part was that the War on Drugs for the Big 420 Show knocked every kid at that school out of class for half a day and not one arrest or find was made. Why? All the stoner kids skipped; they were at home getting high. Dur.

One day the majority and those in power will realize we're not only being stupid about policy but losing billions of dollars in potential taxes. One day marijuana will be legalized.

Until then, be informed. About today: 420 Origin Story. About the reality and progress of marijuana reform: NORML.

Get Your Iron On, Krofft Supershow, c. 1977

One of my favorite political and variety blogs is Monkey Muck. Check it out and see why for yourself.

But this isn't just a shameless "I love you, man!" I'd be remiss if I did not link to Monkey as the inspiration for the following online fun I found. Monkey does retro ...everything like no one else.



I'm guessing anyone under 25 is probably missing the reference to what an iron-on is. Anyone under 18 may not even know what an iron is. But that crazy Krofft Supershow; that's a class act.

Sweden's Lego Jesus Completed!

In October of '07 I wrote on how this church in Sweden was collecting Legos in order to copy this statue of Jesus. In Legos.



Thanks to some of my fab readers, I've been informed that they have pulled it off, having revealed the Lego Jesus on Easter Sunday:



Over 30,000 bricks. Amazing. Good show!

Pirate Bay Sends the Big Middle Finger Flag Up the Gov't Arse

Hells yeah. Pirate Bay was founded in Sweden and it was there that they got a media spanking. From The Telegraph:

Four men behind a file-sharing website that has hundreds of thousands of British users were sentenced to a year in jail and ordered to pay £2.5 million in damages yesterday for helping internet users to download music, films and computer games.

In a big victory for the entertainment industries, Fredrik Neij, 30, Gottfrid Svartholm Warg, 24, Peter Sunde Kolmisoppi, 30, and Carl Lundström, 49, were found guilty of breaching copyright law in Sweden, where The Pirate Bay site was founded.

The court ordered a payment of £900,000 in compensation for 21st Century Fox and £500,000 each for MGM and Columbia Pictures.

Despite the verdicts, the four announced that The Pirate Bay, which is used by 25 million people, would continue to operate from computers based in various countries around the world. The men, who plan to appeal, will not begin their sentences or have to pay compensation until the end of the legal process.

Yes, there are plenty of douchebags that just download content and use it as a substitute for purchases. But there is a large faction that would never have seen a certain movie or heard a certain album except that it was there to download. And that didn't cost the industry anything. If it wasn't there, it wouldn't have been seen. And they wouldn't have gotten that exposure.

There are also many others who download to get a taste of artists and then, if they like them, they purchase the album in a show of support. Perhaps if movie machines and cookie-cutter artists weren't churning out an absurd slurry of shit on a regular basis and the radio industry hadn't collapsed into centralized pimps for that crap then, just maybe, consumers would have a little more trust in the system and a little more reason to shuck out fucking $15 for a goddamned CD - the same price we payed 15 years ago when discs weren't $0.02 to produce.

My advice is research bands on MySpace and their main websites. If they have samples, download the album from Mininova.org or like sites. If you like the album and plan on listening to it for a while, buy a copy to support the artist.

I read a couple months ago one of the most brilliant, obvious insights: The greatest fear of almost every artist is not that they will have their novel or music or indie movie downloaded for free thousands of times, but that no one will ever hear of them.

Download. Support. And long live Pirate Bay.

Oh, and fuck you Sweden (that is, not the people but the government entities that fold to corporate pressures like so many bendy straws; it could've been just as easily our elected douchebags here in the US).

Susan Boyle - British Star

Here's a taste:


Get the full taste at this link.

Bad Photoshop Gun Ad Fuels...Bad Ads

Found this on Drudge. No, do not let it come to this. What is "this?"

Bad Photoshop. Obviously a ditch superimposed with a gun that is completely out of place and poorly 'shopped into the ground.

Does this look natural to anyone?

Lesson: no matter what message you are pushing, get professional help. Hack jobs like this make your message and purpose stink of douchebaggery and, more importantly, appear laughable.

Friends don't let friends hire a cousin who took a Photoshop class to make an ad.

Chapter 15 of Life, The Universe, and Everything

One of my favorite quotes in every sense is "A magician wandered along the beach, but no one needed him."

Brilliant.

Douglas Adams.

But that comes from whence?

Here. Chapter 15 of Life, The Universe, and Everything.

Two months later, Zipo Bibrok 5 / 108 had cut the bottoms off his Galactic State jeans, and was spending part of the enormous fee his judgments commanded lying on a jewelled beach having Essence of Qualactin rubbed into his back by the same rather nice member of the jury. She was a Soolfinian girl from beyond the Cloudworlds of Yaga. She had skin like lemon silk and was very interested in legal bodies.

"Did you hear the news?" she said.

"Weeeeelaaaaah!" said Zipo Bibrok 5 / 108, and you would have had to have been there to know exactly why he said this. None of this was on the tape of Informational Illusions, and is all based on hearsay.

"No," he added, when the thing that had made him say "Weeeeelaaaaah" had stopped happening. He moved his body round slightly to catch the first rays of the third and greatest of primeval Vod's three suns which was now creeping over the ludicrously beautiful horizon, and the sky now glittered with some of the greatest tanning power ever known.

A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again. It drifted back to sea.

"I hope it isn't good news," muttered Zipo Bibrok 5 / 108, "'cos I don't think I could bear it."

"Your Krikkit judgment was carried out today," said the girl sumptuously. There was no need to say such a straightforward thing sumptuously, but she went ahead and did it anyway because it was that sort of day. "I heard it on the radio," she said, "when I went back to the ship for the oil."

"Uhuh," muttered Zipo and rested his head back on the jewelled sand.

"Something happened," she said.

"Mmmm?"

"Just after the Slo-Time envelope was locked," she said, and paused a moment from rubbing in the Essence of Qualactin, "a Krikkit warship which had been missing presumed destroyed turned out to be just missing after all. It appeared and tried to seize the Key."

Zipo sat up sharply.

"Hey, what?" he said.

"it's all right," she said in a voice which would have calmed the Big Bang down. "Apparently there was a short battle. The Key and the warship were disintegrated and blasted into the space-time continuum. Apparently they are lost for ever."

She smiled, and ran a little more Essence of Qualactin on to her fingertips. He relaxed and lay back down.

"Do what you did a moment or two ago," he murmured.

"That?" she said.

"No, no," he said, "that."

She tried again.

"That?" she asked.

"Weeeeelaaaaah!"

Again, you had to be there.

The fragrant breeze drifted up from the sea again.

A magician wandered along the beach, but no one needed him.

Remember The Failure

Today I was privy to Glenn Beck's proclamation that the show tonight will be LIVE From the Alamo.

Specifically, he said "remember tonight, live at the Alamo. It's time to take a stand."

I know it's too late to reach him, but perhaps, in post, his research folks might let him know that the Alamo is the poster child for Epic Fail.

The basement is where Pee-Wee's bike is hidden.

Suggested names for tonight's show: "Tower of Babel 2" and "Titanic 2."

How do people like this get a show?

The Republican Tax Day Teabaggin' Party!

I've written repeatedly about how out of touch Republicans are when it comes to things like technology, entertainment, and pop culture. And now, as if staging a deliberate attempt to prove themselves fools, Fox News, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity (the Teabaggin' Triumvirate) - along with their multiple conservative mouthpieces - have been billing tomorrow's myopic homage to the Boston Tea Party as a "teabagging" event.

Here are the three biggest problems from my perspective:

1. The Boston Tea Party was a revolt in response to paying taxes to England, a form of "Taxation without representation." We currently have elected representation in America.
2. As of tomorrow, revolting against taxes will actually be revolting against the George W. Bush tax structure as no federal tax (save cigs *argh*) has been enacted by President Obama.
3. UrbanDictionary.com defines Teabagging as: To have a man insert his scrotum into another person's mouth in the fashion of a teabag into a mug with an up/down (in/out) motion.

Some days I just want to jump up and down and shout in wonder: How can you be so lame?

Where were the revolts when Bush killed thousands of Americans? Where were the revolts when he spent billions and billions of our dollars on Iraq - and didn't find it necessary to put it on the books?

If you look at the pictures on the teevee concerning tomorrow, you've got a bunch of assclowns holding up signs about Obama being a socialist, blah blah Wilkow/Hannity/Beck/Limbaugh juice. So apparently they're really protesting money that they pay in taxes that they do not get back in equal share? Not quite sure as the answers can range from confused to unintelligible.

So let's put it this way: I will take these people seriously as soon as they sign a federal, legally-binding document stating that they will never touch one dollar from Unemployment, Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid for the rest of their lives. And if they do, we will toss them into Boston Harbor. Teabagging is optional on the deportation boat.

Marilyn Chambers Dies

Tragically at only 56 years old, Marilyn Chambers, known as one of the first "cross-over" actresses for going from slinging Ivory Snow to mainstream pornography, was found dead by her 17 year old daughter.

She will be missed.

And I now have a valid reason for downloading classic porn to my computer. Yay history!

Some New and Old News - Sex, Religion, Killin'

Octomom porno? I'll wait while you cause yourself great pain to block the memory of reading those words. Reality show? Believe it.

Rep. John Shimkus (R-IL) is worried capping CO2 will take away plant food. Seriously.

SHIMKUS: It’s plant food. … So if we decrease the use of carbon dioxide, are we not taking away plant food from the atmosphere? … So all our good intentions could be for naught. In fact, we could be doing just the opposite of what the people who want to save the world are saying.

Even better to watch:


Obama's administration dropped the War on Terror rhetoric. Officially. Hells yeah.

Last week OPEC said oil had nothing to do with climate change. In related news, cigarette manufacturers said smoke is nutritious, and AIG released a report that borrowing money you cannot afford to borrow increases life expectancy.

Bob Barker came close to a career in porn. Just scratch out one eye, so you can read the rest of the post. Unless that happened at Octomom. Better to be blind.

Apparently Americans are still dying in Iraq.

And if I remember my Catholic School upbringing, it's Good Friday, so 9am to 12pm represents the walk up the hill, then Jesus hung out (hehe) for 3 more hours, and it's 2:59, so 3...2...1. Jesus just died.

!SPOILER ALERT!

No worries; he comes back to life on Sunday morning.

Have a happy Easter.

You Know What They Say About them Chinese in Texas...

No?

Think Progress has this one, telling us about how Texas State Rep. Betty Brown recently stated "during House testimony on voter identification legislation:"

Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?

Betty continues to back her comments, refusing to apologize, even in the fake, non-apology way most politicians do.

And the Republican party wonders why they have a continual problem attracting minorities.

Storm o' Gay Commin' ta Getcha

National Organization for Marriage has put out this video because in the last week both Iowa and Vermont have made the very rational decision that "separate" is not "equal" when it comes to same sex marriage.

[UPDATE (thanks, Namoi!):the District of Columbia's City Council approved, 12-0 (w00t!), that the District will recognize same-sex marriages from all 50 states.]

Some people are afraid of teh gay, and because they can't just say "we just don't like them queers" they want to make you afeared as well so everyone can be scared together and blame a common gay enemy. So their argument is by giving same sex couples the same rights as straight couples, straight people will lose their rights. What rights? Well, don't worry about that. Explanations are just for those elitist homos anyway.

Try not to throw up in the back of your throat while being slathered with mediocre production values and ignorant bigotry.



[UPDATE AGAIN!]: Think Progress packed in a couple of the Anti-gay screen test auditions for those fake doctors and mothers reading thorough the scripts. Yes, it will make you even madder.

Legend of Zelda Trailer!

No, not really. Well, really, but it was IGN's "tits" 2008 April Fool's joke to the world. And if you haven't seen it, take a look.

It actually looks a little better than a SciFi Original. I'd torrent it.

ShamWow: You'll Say "Hooker, Gimmie My Fucking Tongue Back" Every Time

The Smoking Gun is my hero today.

You know Vince from ShamWow, right? How about a refresher on the mug:



Wait! Holy asshats, Vince? Why do you look so disheveled?

Turns out that Vince picked up this girl:



Wait! Why does she look like that?

Can I tell the fucking story? Cause ya know we can't do this all day.

Vince was propositioned by the girl above, took her back to his hotel, gave her $1000, and apparently at first kiss, she clamped down on his tongue which prompted him to struggle and then repeatedly beat her about the face and head at which point she finally let go. Vince ran down to the lobby, bleeding, cops got involved, and they were both stitched and booked. Not surprisingly, it appears they were both drunk.

Ah, Vince, 15 minutes can be so short. Ya won't find Billy Mays whoring it up like that.