Drudge Uncertain of Reality

Had this poking around for a couple days. Shot of Drudge's site:



Question for Drudge:

Where the fuck have you been for the last 8 years?

Cops N (Weed) Brownies

I have watched this repeatedly. Laughed every time. A cop confiscated some weed, was obviously ignorant about how to use and the effects of marijuana, and freaked the fuck out. And called 911.

This isn't new, but damn it's good.

Joking About Octomom

Octomom is a disease of humanity and media.

Listening to Stephanie Miller tonight, I heard a lovely joke:

Did you know IHOP is doing a new Octomom omlette?

It's 14 eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you paid for it.

How do you punish someone who doesn't do anything illegal, but something morally and socially wrong? In our society, you give her an international platform so everyone can talk about how you punish someone who doesn't do anything illegal, but something morally and socially wrong. And everyone watches.

And nothing happens, though I cannot come up with an answer as to what should. Besides, perhaps, sending all her kids to foster care.

Masters of the Universe, answer our prayers.

Bobby Jindal Epic Fail - And Racism by Proxy

This bit of David Brooks on Bobby Jindal's epic fail (h/t Wonkette):



And during a brief jaunt today I had the unfortunate chance to digest a bit of Rush Limbaugh. He said that Biden probably wondered who sat in for Bobby Jindal's shift at the 7-11.

This is racism by proxy. By saying someone was probably thinking something racist - especially when it is your political party that is known for exacerbating race issues - no one is fooled. You had that thought, Rush. And because it wasn't appropriate for you to have, you put it in the feigned imagination of a democrat.

Another laughably ironic piece of the story. I recently heard Rush lamenting pop culture, that everything in pop culture is looked at as liberal, that it's a foregone conclusion. Of course, someone who was even remotely in the loop on "what's hip" probably wouldn't be making an Indian/convenience store reference with an expiration date a decade old.

Everyone knows a call center or Slumdog Millionaire extra reference is much more apropos.

There are exceptions, but conservatives do not do funny and they do not do hip and they do not do technology. And Rush is case in point.

Parenting Adventures - Who's the Adult?

Let's just get this over with. Little Shambles is no longer little and turns 13 in a month, so she will be henceforth referred to as the Irish Dancer as that is the closest thing to a passion she currently has developing in her life. We shall never speak of this again.

So Sunday morning found us at The Original Pancake House in Montgomery where they have enormous, delicious omelets like you've never seen or experienced before unless you've been to The Original Pancake House. It was a good meal with the family and after we paid I walked out into the foyer and, in attempt to embarrass the Irish Dancer - a fine pastime of mine - stated in an impaired voice "Yeah, I like Spongebob too!"

The Irish Dancer looked at me with overtired tween disdain, huffed, and said "What does that have to do with anything. We were talking about dicks."

Of course, what she actually said, having been mid-conversation with Mrs. Shambles about softball, was "We were talking about Dick's [Sporting Goods]."

But I laughed. Hard. I laughed all the way to the car and I laughed all the way home and chuckled out loud several times for the rest of the day. She had said it with such conviction and fervor.

So last Sunday, the Irish Dancer learned that men will laugh at jokes like they are twelve years old, pretty much until we die.

Politics in Absolutisms - I Say: Shit Sandwich

8 Years of Bush Special. At least you get a pickle.

I don't often blog about comments, but as I get few comments and have dropped to 6 followers, I thought I'd hit this one that someone from the Silent Majority recently left lauding the day when liberals would be "a footnote in history."

First off, I've never liked that phrase because it's often misused and inapplicable, such as in this case. Dems and Repubs share pretty much equally in the history of America and neither will ever have a day as a footnote.

And as much as I'm a self-proclaimed vehement, godless liberal, even I know that all politics are cyclical. You would have to be 5 and live in a cave not to have at least an inkling of that:

One party will make a bunch of promises, eventually the public will say "yeah, that's what we need now," and then that party will gain power and favor. But because they're politicians they will become corrupted by power, fail to do what the majority had in mind, and the other party will ramp up their rhetoric of a bunch of promises. The middle will migrate in the opposite direction - not because of loyalty, but disappointment - and say "yeah, that's what we need now...." Rinse and repeat.

As much as I voted for and appreciate Obama right now, it's only been a frickin' month. I think there is a lot of potential but I'm not on board with the folks the Right jokingly refers to as Obamessiah worshipers.

What makes me laugh about the Right in the last couple weeks...okay there's a lot that makes me laugh. But let's just talk about one thing.

For the last eight years, America has been glutting on a double-stacker shit sandwich, served on a plate of war, extra side of scandal, hold the Constitutional rights. No comment on that from wingnuts. But less than a month - hell, as soon as the election was over, the Right nutters start shouting "hey, this don't smell right!"

Note to the Right: eating shit for 8 years may alter perceptions to the point that anything that is not shit "smells funny." Take a break from your feces panini and grab a glass of water. "This" is much better than "that."

Papal Support of Censorship

No, I'm not going to start calling this blog The Pope Follies. I've got a political itch coming back and will be talking about it very soon.

So that goon Benedict and his bullshittery:

"The Assembly of Catholic Ordinaries of the Holy Land has publicly expressed the disdain and protest of Christians over a television programme transmitted in recent days by the Israeli private television station 'Channel 10', in which the Lord Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary were ridiculed with blasphemous words and images."

So what was the issue? It turns out that Channel 10 in Israel had a late night show that did a spoof on religion.

In the show, Mary is said to have become pregnant at 15, thanks to a schoolmate.

It said Jesus could never have walked on water because "he was so fat he was ashamed to leave the house, let alone go to the Sea of Galilee with a bathing suit".

Boo fucking hoo. So someone on a show known for comedy makes a joke about religion. A bunch of sanctimonious Christians whine which is backed up by the sanctimonious Catholic papa and gets a sanctimonious apology from the Prime Minister of Israel.

Which just goes to show: you can make up a bunch of shit and put it in a book and cook it in dogma and blind belief for 2000 years to the point that when someone makes a joke about that book the world takes notice and the leader of a sovereign nation makes a public apology.

See, the late-night show just needs a book and a couple millenia and everyone will be okay with it. Until someone makes a "Jesus was so skinny..." joke.

GOP: The Blacks and the Midgets

Out of the mouth of RNC Chairman Michael S. Steele from Washington Times:

”There was underlying concerns we had become too regionalized and the party needed to reach beyond our comfort” zones, he said, citing defeats in such states as Virginia and North Carolina. “We need messengers to really capture that region - young, Hispanic, black, a cross section ... We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-surburban hip-hop settings.”

But, he elaborated with a laugh, “we need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.”

How many times does it have to happen in order for it to become a generalized archetype? A high-ranking member of the GOP finally, reluctantly laments the lack of inclusiveness in the 99% old white guy gang and before you can even think the phrase "Well, maybe he's...," in the same breath he makes any attempt at taking such comments seriously nothing but laughable.

"Hey, how'm I supposed to know whatcha call them Munchkin people?"

What an asshat.

This is what has been wrong with the GOP, is wrong with the GOP, and will be the base reason behind them losing even more seats in 2010.

Stupid Sick & T Shirt Hell Returns After Not Going Anywhere

Missed the last couple days on updating anything on the blog here, originally because of working on my real job, but the last couple days have seen projectile vomiting of everything including just water paired with ejecta from the other end. It was lovely.

Well, I'm back, and managing my time more efficiently at that.

Speaking of back, T-Shirt Hell was going out of business a couple weeks ago and now they're not. Actually, they never were. Yeah, I'm a sucker just like everyone else. Just a quality stunt to introduce new folks and get the old fans off their asses to open their wallets.

Yay! Plenty of time for you to get me that Pimp shirt...

It's Your Home! A Moment With the Pope and God

Another bit on the Vatican because...damn.

From the Vatican Information Service:

BENEDICT XVI ASKS GOD TO WATCH OVER THE VATICAN

The man who supposedly has a direct connection with God and owns the lineage of His corporeal time on Earth, and he feels the need to issue a press release in which he asks God to watch over the only country or international entity that can be called "God's Home?"

Doesn't God already live there? What did Benedict do? Walk up to His room and ask him to keep an eye on the place?

BENE: Hey, God, you got a minute?
GOD: Always for you, Ratzie.
BENE: I wish you wouldn't -
GOD: I know. You know I know. Why complain?
BENE: Could you at least put down that book when I'm talking?
GOD: Sorry omnipresence isn't enough for you.
BENE: I never said -
GOD: You did in your heart.
BENE:...
GOD: You were bugging me for a reason? This Asimov had his shit together. Seriously.
BENE: Yes. I was wondering if you could keep an eye on the place.
GOD: And omnipresence - seriously?
BENE: Over Vatican City?
GOD: Who's the next Pope going to be?
BENE: Well, I think there are several good - Wait, don't you -
GOD: Gotcha!
BENE: If you'd just -
GOD: Are you still here? I've got a book and a bottle of bourbon to finish.
BENE: You drink too much.
GOD: You don't know me! You can't know me!
BENE: God, sorry, I -
GOD: Yeah, I'll watch. You want me to do anything if anything happens? Put a giant force field over the joint? Wag my cock at the bombs? Or just watch. Cause I'm already doing that.
BENE: Bombs? Sorry. Watching will be fine I guess.
GOD: Good. Go get me my slippers.
BENE: Yes. Douche.
GOD: I heard that. Before you said it.
BENE: I'm sure you did.
GOD: Dick.

The Vatican Cracks Me Up

Oh, that crazy Pope.

The Vatican Information Service summary for February 7-9 came yesterday and the following headlines elicited such snark that it was my duty to comment upon them.

ABSENCE OF GOD IS MANKIND'S MOST PROFOUND SICKNESS

I would argue that one of humanity's utmost illnesses is over-reliance on the structure of organized religion, the heeding of the barker at the tent of worship for our two pence. You can still have a relationship with God from outside the tent. If God couldn't see you outside, He wouldn't be God. If he doesn't want to listen to you if you don't pay the toll, He's a Dick.


APPEAL FOR PEACE IN MADAGASCAR



Hell yeah, peace! That zebra always be bustin' shit up and don't even get me started on them penguins.

Don't even.


PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN POPE AND GERMAN CHANCELLOR

POPE: Seriously?
CHAN: Really. It happened. We have proof.
POPE: Damn. For reals? I always thought the Holocaust was an old wives' tale.
CHAN: Nope. Pretty serious shit.
POPE: So that bishop thing -
CHAN: Way wrong move.
POPE: Cause, ya know, I'z -
CHAN: You'z was not just playin'.
POPE: ...no. I'z wasn't.
...
POPE: So we cool, though, right?
...
Click.

Not Cheap Window Plastics: 3M Post (Color) Corrected

This weekend I noted that during Obama's now-famous call to cap the salary of corporate big-wigs, it looked like the window behind him had been poorly-sealed with 3M plastic. You know, the kind that stops drafts from freezing you out in the winter if you have crappy windows.

Turns out it was not cheap plastics over the windows. It was expensive window plastics.

My post got play on C&R Blog Roundup and one of the comment-folk brought the light (sorry -- lamp):

Murphy Tinsley said...

What you are looking at is a sheet of neutral density with color correction put on the window by the MSNBC television crew. This material allowed them to balance the light level of the exterior with the level inside the office. There is also color correction to balace outside daylight with the lights they were using inside (unless they were HMI's.)

A credible and completely valid response.

I thank all my readers for visiting and my comment-folk especially for setting me straight. Even I am not without ignorance.

Even if the 3M explanation was more fun.

Beer Bottle Dominoes

Yes. Beer Bottle Dominoes.

3M: the White House Energy Plan

Obama recently made a now-famous call to put a ceiling on corporate earnings when those corporations accept gov't money.

But what you may have missed is the 3M plastic-over-windows in the background.



Okay, it's not very obvious in stills. Check out the video:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

So do we laud Obama's team for plasticating the windows in the White House, or do we rail them for not doing it well enough that it doesn't waver and show up in the shot?

You tell me.

Kid on Drugs (After the Dentist)

(via BoingBoing)



Is this gonna be forever?

New York and a Dragon!

I was reading this article about how shady New York Republican politics have been shitting on a man's sense of accomplishment and duty, when I ran into this paragraph:

A member of the Passamaquoddy Tribe in Maine, he said he is being discriminated against because of his national origin and retaliated against for having sued the state.

Did you just see what I just saw?

That's right: Passamaquoddy


Yes, I did own this record/book as a child.

Pete's Dragon represent!

The Magic Woodworkings of a Stimulus Plan

The stimulus plan has all the creeps coming out of the woodwork, most of them tossing everything - including the kitchen sink - at the Obama administration cause day wont day monies!

Las Vegas, which by some accounts already glitters, wants $2 million for neon signs.

Boynton Beach, Fla., is looking for $4.5 million for an "eco park" featuring butterfly gardens and gopher tortoises.

And Chula Vista, Calif., would like $500,000 to create a place for dogs to run off the leash.

These are among 18,750 projects listed in "Ready to Go," the U.S. Conference of Mayors' wish list for funding from the stimulus bill moving through Congress. The group asked cities and towns to suggest "shovel ready" projects for the report, which it gave to Congress and the Obama administration.

Let's just call bullshit on all that fuckery. Now and forever.

You want to dance around the money game? You want to propose projects the Federal Government should fund? Fine: line item how much it should cost and how many jobs it will create. If you get that money and do not create those jobs, you are accountable for creating those jobs within 2 months. If you do not create those jobs, you lose 50% of funding to the state until you do.

Accountability. How are we going to get anything done if it's just a bunch of liars and cheats?

Answer: we won't.

Sarah PAC - Here We Go. Again.

Sarah Palin has started her own PAC with the stated purpose of "building America's future, supporting fresh ideas and candidates who share our vision for reform and innovation."

The actual purpose, of course, is part of the "Pack it in like Kobayashi" strategy so that in three years she can shit out an Alaska-sized hunk of political capitol all over America. Or that's one of the guesses. When asked what a PAC does, Palin only replied "Ms. Pac-Man is sooooo fun!"



Seriously, though, what's up with the logo? Alaska in the middle of the US?

The imagery represents:

• Blowing an Alaska-sized hole in the breadbasket of America "'cause carbs just don't sit well on my hips."
• "Alaska's big and America is big so that means I'm qualified to be President."
• "When I'm President, this is the area we'll fence off for all America's enemies."
• "Swimming pool!"
• "I can see North Dakota from my house."

But those are just a couple thoughts. What are yours?

Kinda Like Tripping

Stare at this for the minute or so it runs, then look at stuff and you might get a 5% feeling of what it's like to trip for 20 seconds or so.

Don't watch if you have any issues with seizures!

Barack Obama - Fuck Yeah

Unexpectedly ran into this wonderousness earlier today.



Fuck yeah.

(via DothBrands via Inauguration)