Rush Limbaugh is a Trememdous Douchebag

I am certainly not trying to trump one of my posts from January, Glenn Beck is a Tremendous Douchebag, but there I was in that self-abusive mood, streaming Rush on the local 550AM. Some tidbits:

"You know what organic means? Feces. That's what it means."

"A market correction is defined as the market dropping 10%."

"You do know Bill Clinton and Al Gore were pro-lifers."

After listening a couple weeks ago to him tout his wasteful energy practices as keeping South Florida warmer than the cooler than average global-warming-hype rest of Florida on that day, I just couldn't take the arrogant, wasteful Jabba larva any longer.

Organic does not mean feces; he knows that, but resents it in the face of his fast food, ludes, and little dudes. Market correction happens when stocks - like Rush's head - are over-inflated and over-valued. And while Clinton and Gore at one point or another were against federal money paying for abortions under certain circumstances, they were never for the limitation of a woman's right to choose.

I think that somewhere in his brain he knows that these facts exist, but like any well-deluded neocon, never the twain shall meet; the reality and the bunk are strictly and efficiently segregated. When you sling shit for a living, you get very good at slinging shit, and protect your livelihood with any an all physical and psychological devices that will permit you to continue slinging shit.

Unfortunately it's disheartening to hear a shit slinger talk about his audience as the most educated in America, and then hear the enamored myrmidons panting, panting on the phone, mentally scrambling to tongue the cack off his cock.

More Gay Republican Blowjobs

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Bush's Press Conference - Money, Woah

Bush held a conference today touting his "American Competitiveness Doctrine." Reporters didn't give a crap. They were out for Pakistan, infrastructure, Iraq, Tillman, housing market.

On the market: "...liquidity in the market..." It's just fun to hear him struggle verbally with "liquidity" and mentally with the concept of what the hell he's saying.

On Guantanamo: "We don't torture." Of course we don't. We have foreign contractors who do that.

On Iran: "Put up yer dukes - heh - that's an old boxing expression." That's when the press erupted in laughter like a class with a teacher who's a total asshat, glancing around knowingly "Did you frickin' hear that? What a tard! Drinks later!"

On the tax code: "...a simplick - simplification of" the tax code.

But the one I really enjoyed was when Mr. POTUS was talking about raising a gas tax for bridge repairs; he was in favor of reallocation: "That's not the way to prioritize peoples' money."

But this is:

Cost of the War in Iraq

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To see more details, click here.

It's about time I had that in my margin.

A FOX in Green Clothing

For anyone not under the seductive spell cast by the bedroom eyes of John Gibson's bouffant, FOX News's record of "oh, it's cold today; global warming is debunked" is quite clear. For a synopsis of the outrage, I turn to the lovely folks at FOX Attacks:


[Alternative YouTube Link]

With that in mind, imagine my surprise when spying this headline on TV Week: Emmy Academy Vetoes Fox’s Green Carpet Plan. Thought process: I think I know what this could mean but it can't possibly because it's FOX.

In a move that would have parted with decades of broadcast tradition, Fox wanted to roll out a green carpet during its presentation of the 2007 Primetime Emmy Awards.
...
Changing the carpet color was an unannounced part of Fox's green-themed Emmy Awards presentation strategy, which includes employing hybrid vehicles for event transportation, using recycled materials and reducing carbon emissions from the production.

I read the article, I'm excerpting the article, and I still can't believe what I'm reading. FOX, the network in the video above, the network constantly spouting against the scientific reality of climate crisis, is whining that it can't be green enough.

Some days, my head, it hurts so badly....

Linktastica!, Analytics, LS Blogs, and Mashed Potatoes

What, are you new?
Just a lovely welcome to Balls and Walnuts now in Linktastica! I try to keep that list down to the blogs I visit on a regular basis and BnW has become one of my regular train stops in the past couple weeks.

Analytics
If anyone's wondering how cutting edge they are, I regularly reel in about 200 visits a week with normal, organic traffic (haven't toyed with paid ads yet). If I pimp myself to Crooks and Liars, I can peak a day at 500 or so. And this one time, someone pinned me on Digg, about marijuana, and I got 10,000 hits in one day.

But - hey! - that was just a fluke. I want that to be clear, because, you know, what you an me got, well, that's personal. And as soon as I'm pulling a K a day, you think I'll lose you in the traffic, that I'll forget about you. But it's not like that, baby. This is special. "Now" is special. Trust that.

LS Blogs
LS Blogs will give you multiple directory listings with no necessity of a reciprocal link. They're so nice, I put their little chicklet in my left column. See how that works?

Mashed Potatoes
I recently posted on the Democratic YouTube CNN debate and added one of the greatest quotes of all time. It deserves reposting:
[alt audio link]

Love you long time. See that thing on the left that wants your email? You, to, can have Ricky Shambles in your box. You know you want it.

PDB Blogswarm: George, Harriet, and a Legacy of Reactance

I love birthdays!



This is part of the PDB blogswarm going on today. For those of you unawares, on August 6, 2001, the president was officially warned, in a Presidential Daily Briefing, that Bin Laden was poised to attack, to bring the fight to America, and that it would "follow the example of the World Trade Center bomber." Seriously. GWB 8/6/01 PDB PDF!

The PDB speaks for itself; that the President of the United States was deaf to the alarm bells is - now near the end of this eight years of black comedy/reality show - no surprise.

As with any anniversary, it is a time of reflection, a time of looking back on an aspect of this failure of a leader. In my estimation, the most poignant aspect of our "Protecting America" Bush administration has been the systematic knee-jerk reaction of the policy-makers: Nothing happens to prevent something dangerous until that thing happens and is deemed dangerous.

September 11th? Stop all air traffic, and be more careful when you start it back up, sometimes including an Air Marshal on the flight. Ooh, and no more box cutters, except sometimes you might be able to find them in the airport store.

Shoe Bomber? Ground flights, eh, maybe not, and from now on everybody takes off their shoes. And absolutely no lighters or matches...okay, you can have matches and we'll even replace a lighter with matches if you're cute...okay, you can have lighters again. But take off those shoes!

Alleged Liquid Bomb Terrorists? Duh, no liquids! No water or juice or K-Y lovin for you. Detain and flagrantly threaten mothers - whatever you have to do. No, the explosively flammable liquid version of butane you find in lighters does not count.

And how would these foolish antics be carried out? By underqualified, underpaid, underappreciated employees, the LMSA: Little Man Syndrome Army. (Note: I know someone who was accepted as an Air Marshal. The words retard and potato gun could easily combined in a single sentence to describe his credentials.)

Summer Terrorist Chatter? There may or may not be any chatter that may or may not be directly or indirectly related to something that does or does not exist. Remain vigilant!

I remember hearing the horrors of Katrina and reliving the viewing of the Discovery Channel special entitled something like: "Holy Shit! What if a 3-4-5 Hurricane Hits New Orleans!?" It emerged from a pool of reports and specials that is slowly fading in my memory, one that contains the potential openings for terrorist attacks: Water supply, public aerosol chemical/bio weapons, nukes in shipping containers, chemical plant weaknesses, nuclear plant weaknesses, power grid, information infrastructure, public transportation, and the fucking Mall of America.

And then what happens? The PDB should be our warning: not a warning of a terrorist attack, but a warning of what our government is capable of and where their priorities lie.

Because one of those old Datelines will one day pop out of that pool of memory into a slot for a reality comparison to a terrorist attack. American flags will fly; patriotism will be questioned; fingers will be pointed; we will invade a country - the plan will already have existed; and should it be bad enough, the impetus will be clear, and we will be goose-stepped straight into honorable marshal law, dutiful suspension of the Bill of Rights and all the juicy bits of Dick Cheney's wettest dreams.

Sometimes I feel like all the people who are supposed to be looking out for our best interests are standing around a rooftop swimming pool at night, all dressed in suits, smoking cigars, and sipping Johnny Walker Black, quietly chuckling to each other with false pretenses. A meteor is falling out of the sky, and we - the bloggers - look back at the crowd, our necks craned, our voiced slightly raised "Um, guys?"

So Happy Birthday, PDB! May the lessons we learned be strong enough to unite us against tyranny and oppression, because the administration learned way different lessons.


Quick shout outs: Blue Gal, source of my info about the PDB blogswarm, Tengrain over at Mock, Paper, Scissors for the lovely image at the head of this diatribe.

ABC's of Republican Politics in Iowa

Honestly, I didn't do as good a job making notes or even watching the Iowa GOP Debate on ABC Sunday morning. I'm much more of an evening person. But a couple of things stuck out through the Bush 'n' Iraq hummers being passed out by the majority of the all-white-male AARP panel as they crowded out reason on that stage.

Goofy-lookin' bridesmaids, though.

Same-sex marriage hits DC: The Romney-Giuliani Union

• Mitt Romney's one tall bastard. Dag. (And that means lifts and apple boxes for McCain.)


• McCain: Hydra-headed? When related to radical Islam, McCain was obviously making a reference (which how many of the populace would get?) that when one head is cut off, two grow in its place and how it's almost completely unmanageable. The nuance I'm certain Mac's overlooked, however, is two-fold: 1) the Hydra was successfully "dealt with" by one man - Hercules - as he seared each beheaded neck (yes, his cousin Iolaus handed him the brand/torch), showing wisdom over brute force. 2) the Hydra could not be destroyed completely and its immortal head was literally buried under a very heavy rock.


• Rep. Tom Tancredo: As president, it's not his job to educate our youth or provide health care. Michael Moore couldn't have written it better - sick and dumb doesn't allow for much in the way of practicable democracy, and provides the perfect, unchallenging, work-force mentality to provide the cannon fodder for what Tom's focus is: WAR. What a douche.


• 
  Tommy Thompson: What did you hit on the way to the debate and for the love of God, why did you put it on your head?


• Tommy Thompson: Eradicate breast cancer by 2015? In 8 years? Yep. Right after he makes HIV drugs affordable in Africa. WTF?


• Cheney have too much power? Blub-ah-blub...credentials, preparedness...blubba.


• Giuliani: What 911 needs is 911 and if we can't 911 then what about 911? Then the terrorists win.


• Ron Paul: Traditional conservative, anti-neo-con, against a prolonged, illegal war in Iraq. Which debate am I watching? Obviously the Kucinich of the group (but Dennis in '02 or earlier, more lashing, less concise, but no less concerned or credible). I like him.

That's about it. The rest was "criticizing" the administration without actually criticizing the administration, case in point with the Cheney bit.

I've pined for and made goo-goo eyes at Dennis Kucinich for a couple different stances of his, but the most important is his support of not-for-profit universal health care. When I watched the Democratic YouTube Debate, I was surprised at how silent the other candidates were about America being financially raped by insurance companies; system's broken, needs some overhaul. This debate pushed it one step further: you can be assured that with a Republican president, there will be NO change in the "shortcomings" of the current health care system.

And we will focus on war, war, war.

I almost can't wait for 9/17 (Repub YouTube Debate).

Minnesota and Iraq

Today the fifth casualty was counted in the Minneapolis bridge collapse.

As of this posting, icasualties.org has confirmed 3652 deaths of American troops in Iraq, 5 in the first 3 days of August.

The Minneapolis count may slowly rise over the next few days.

The count in Iraq will certainly rise. But no one's talking about that today.

Jesus for Sale! Concrete Jesus for Sale!

Get your hot, fresh pareidolia here!



Yes, once again, someone has combined their personal faith, "white Jesus" iconography, and the human being's innate ability to recognize facial characteristics out of seemingly random images, and this time it has manifested in Concrete Jesus.

WSET has the Concrete Jesus Story: Deb Serio was blacktopping her driveway, left a bucket in the garage, and a day or so later, viola: instant idol worship. But Deb's had Concrete Jesus in her garage for over a year. Why is this making news now?

I kept thinking of that grilled cheese sandwich, remember the grilled cheese sandwich that sold for like $30,000 and I thought, well ya know, someone valued that, someone got something out of that, so maybe someone will get something out of this.

Deb means maybe she will get something out of this.

And you, too, have a chance to own Concrete Jesus: He's on ebay. And you have less than a week left. But as opposed to the Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary, we're only at $250 as of August 2nd. Then again, Concrete Jesus doesn't have a bite taken out of it. Deb may be in for a serious windfall.

In a completely unscientific move, I have inverted the image, like they did with the Shroud of Turin, to possibly reveal an even clearer image of the Savior of Cement:



Crap. That didn't work. Now Jesus looks like nothing more than classic CSI blacklight on the bedsheets. Seminal Jesus. Ewww.

So back to the original:



Squinty, stylized eye, low mouth, I'm going with Akira Toriyama, illustrator of Dragonball Z, or Bruce Timm's Batman.

At the very least, can we all agree that the Lord didn't have a neckbeard?


NOTE: While this and other stories do and will fall under the "Christ on a Bun!" label, I have refrained from placing that in the title. I tired of it. If you, fair reader, have any input or feeling about this change, leave it in the comments. I will probably make fun of you. And your neckbeard.

UPDATE: The bidding has ended! Going once, going twice, and Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior is SOLD in 29 bids for US $1,525.69. Sorry Deb, no $30K windfall this time around.

Fox Attacks: Bloggers

According to FOX News and the goons who fill in the slots with their own right-wing babble, left wing bloggers like myself are the scourge of our planet. From the lovelies over at FoxAttacks.com:


[Alternate YouTube Link]

Seriously. Do something.

Christ on a Bun! Bible Dolls!

I mean "action figures," of course, because you'd hate to imbue those pretty, pretty boys with the snake venom of female play culture; it's not about combing hair or tending sheep...unless you're talking about Samson or David.

Didn't I do this back in April?



BBC has shouted us out to the next Xmas favorite: Bible Dolls! Or, er, action figures. Yes, kids, you, too, could create your own anachronisms! Samson vs. Goliath! David vs. Jesus! Moses vs. Herod!

Your muscle-bound faith can battle against itself, or against the God-starved children of Hogwarts Castle (or, at least their action figures), to teach them the true way to Heaven. Only one way to let Harry know about the One, True Lord: with muscle.

What the hell?

Exactly.

Chopper Crash Blame Game: Driver or Media?

A nice one for the families, ABCNews.com, via AP Photo/La Voz-The Arizona Republic, AJ Alexander

On Friday, you have probably heard, there was a not-so-crazy car chase in Phoenix, Arizona. During the chase, two media choppers - each holding a pilot and cameraman - collided and dropped to the ground, leaving no survivors.

In examining the wreckage and maintenance logs for possible causes of the crash, police have come to one possible answer: blame it on Christopher J. Jones, the cause of the chase.

What-what?

Yes, the police are now looking at charging Chris Jones with four counts of murder on top of everything else. I am not a bleeding heart "the criminal is the victim" sort, especially when some jackass steals a car and runs from police. But the helicopter crash falls far from his lap.

I'm not going into a diatribe on media morality, but if it bleeds, it leads, and if those photogs had captured a spectacular pile-up, violent suicide, or hostage event, the footage would have led every news hour for a week and they might even have been up for a local Emmy. This means more viewers, more ratings, more money, etc.

If a police officer died in pursuit of Chris Jones, another charge is not out of the question; an officer's job is to serve the public good, and while an official chase is not without questions of necessity, better to get a criminal off the streets than not.

But that's not what happened; somebody fucked up while chasing the $USDs pinned to Chris Jones's ass, and now four people are dead.

I could reductio ad absurdum this into the ground or reduce it to the station's fault for having certain policies or equipment, the police's fault for giving chase, or even God's fault (because, in the end, doesn't He run the show?).

Adding criminal charges to Chris Jones because a couple peeping toms with media passes and helicopters killed each other is like blaming the malaria the National Geographic photog gets on the antelope that was taken down by the lion.

I'm still searching for words, but unless it's the simple, obvious, "everyone loves a patsy and we've already got one" angle, how does this even make sense?

Photoshop Love: Pope...Castelgandolfo

From the Vatican Information Services: POPE TO RETURN TO CASTELGANDOLFO THIS EVENING.

Pope? Castelgandolfo? Castle Gandalf? Anyone?


Pope Benedict gets pimped out for ComiCon '07

FDA Ignores Nanotechnology

Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

I can't say I know all the ins and outs of nanotechnology, but new products are emerging that use tiny versions of the chemicals that are considered "safe" by the FDA (which is questionable in the first place).

From the EurekAlert:

Project on Emerging Nanotechnologies science advisor Andrew Maynard underlined that “EPA’s approach ignores the scientific research evidence to date that different nanostructures with the same molecular identity present different hazards.” Nanotechnology is a rapidly growing sector of the economy that will represent an estimated $2.6 trillion in manufactured goods by 2014, or about 15 percent of global manufactured goods output.

What do we know about how the technology affects us? "Not much." Advanced tech used in products we use every day might end up being dangerous since the FDA is not testing them. But that doesn't stop the FDA from verbally ignoring the potential of danger. From New Scientist:

"The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) says the rising number of cosmetics, drugs and other products made using nanotechnology do not require special regulations or labelling.

In the US, at least 300 consumer products, including sunscreen, toothpaste and shampoo are now made using nanotechnology...

Nano means more than just tiny. It means these materials can be fundamentally different, exhibiting chemical and physical properties that are drastically different," says George Kimbrell, staff attorney at the group. "The consumer is being made the guinea pig."

Business wins again, leaving the consumer to guess, despite a federal program "designed" to protect us.

FDA: WTF Award.

Saddest Thing I've Ever Seen

While driving down Plainville Road the other day, I spied an old man, slowly walking in the mid-day sun. The waning, muddled mass of hair on his head matched the white of the three days' stubble on his cheeks, his chin, his lip, all lightly glowing with sweat. The ragged, worn, beige button-down shirt and dusty, cuff-dragged, dark brown pants were draped on his emaciated frame, much like his thin, tired skin.

He moved up the sidewalk with unsteady ease, a look of vacant pain filling his face, which had been frightfully numbed by the miles and years spread out like so many disappointments in his wake; on these his eyes were fixed, a thousand yards away.

Supporting his shuffle, his hands were wrapped tightly around the handle bar of an old Wal Mart shopping cart, the wheels wobbling in fits and starts at the uneven walkway in front of him. The plastic cross-hatch side of the cart facing the street was almost entirely broken away, leaving the reveal to any passer-by: it was completely empty.

I saw this man, sad and broken, who by all visible accounts had nothing in this world, save a shopping cart. And even that didn't work.


I then put in The Cure's Disintegration, called my parents to tell them I was sorry, and cut myself - just to feel. Please excuse the emocity. The seven o'clock show is completely different. Try the veal.

Notes on the Democratic Debate

The CNN/YouTube Democratic Debate was, well, watchable. It spurred debate between myself and Mrs. Shambles, for sure. CNN's Headline News this morning has been pissing all over itself with joy of the wondrous success it was.

The following are notes I collected during the watching. For the most part, they're in chronological order. The first note is what made me realize I was going to have some serious feedback on the event:

• Obama: Did the only African-American candidate for president just come out in favor of "Separate but equal" for the treatment of homosexuals and marriage? I do believe he did. Irony hash mark so flaming it need not be commented upon. Shit. My first thought:
  [alt audio link]


• Edwards: Video: Hair? Not funny. While watching, drinking our Miller Lite, we'd like to forget how much you paid to have your ears lowered, and that song hearkens back to a time of revolution and innovation; you embody neither.


• Hillary: Video: Intermittently readable. Note to CNN and Hillary - not everyone has a 72" Plasma.


• Biden: I know you heard it from U.S. military officials in Europe, but do you really think 2500 U.S. troops could fix Darfur?


• Biden: 1 year most probable for actual pullout. NOW is nice, but that makes a lot of sense.


• Kucinich: "Text Peace" - You have a great message; stick to it. As Anderson said, "Yes, we'll see your video."


• Obama: Did troops in Viet Nam die in vein? Blub-u-blub-a-blubba


• Edwards: Should women register for Selective Service? Question dodged, Anderson skipped callout.


• Hillary: Women in Muslim countries. Of course leaders will listen; they already do. Good answer. Stupid question.


• Obama: General - get with the speech coach; the "ah"s are painful, like focusing on the breath intake of a news anchor, and you sound uncertain in everything you say.


• Richardson: Scrap NCLB! Yay!


• Dodd & Obama & Hillary: Elbow-whored their way into the public school question; we want to hear about public school kids (Yay Kucinich!), not why private school was necessary or unavoidable.


• Kucinich: Energy reformation - total revamping, good show.


• Richardson: Apparently supports "touchtone" voting. Those crazy newfangled kids and their touchtone voting. "Stop chewin' my shorts and let's go to the rave music fest," he quickly added.


• Biden: Video: Isn't the purpose of this format to not show traditional campaign videos? For shame.


• Kucinich: Video: Text PEACE. Okay. It happened a little quickly and maybe I should've had a do-over. I get the idea, it's innovative, but is that the best format for this? Um, universal health care?


• Dennis Kucinich is the only candidate for 2008 that supports universal not-for-profit health care for life, yet as the only candidate with a real, non-corporate, non-insurance stance, he was completely excluded from the health care discussion. More like Anderson Pooper. Sorry. That was poor.


• Gravel: At any point in the evening: Shut up! Okay, "follow the money," but the disheveled hair, the sometimes-spittle that fired past the mic, the man is like the infirm, drunk "you don't know me!" uncle at the family reunion. And we're all a little embarrassed.


• Biden: Gun control: Dude. I know we were all thinking that the guy who called his big-ass gun his "baby" was a little nutty, but you called him "mentally imbalanced" and then quipped "hope he doesn't come lookin' for me." There's a reason the phrase "gunnin' for 'em" exists. Faux pas, voter block alienation on insult, not principle.


• Richardson: Final comment: Any of these candidates would do great in the White House...as my VP. Snap!


• Edwards: Final comment: I liked Hillary's jacket. Dick.


• Biden: Final comment: "Dennis, the thing I like best about you is your wife." Did you actually just say that?


• Kucinich: Final comment: Used opportunity to lash at Anderson, missed opportunity at "right hand man/woman" quip.

That's about it, the stuff that stuck, anyway. I missed about 12 minutes in the middle because I hit the channel up instead of the volume up and killed the DVR cache from potty breaks, etc., but I think it went well.

Hillary's a strong candidate, and I didn't have much to say about her, but I was impressed overall. For as much speaking time as she got, it was all done professionally.

I had Obama on the back burner until last night; he's a little blubbery and the "separate but equal" really killed him in my mind.

Kucinich not enough, Gravel too much, and the rest: meh.

I support a drastic overhaul of the system. I support an uprooting of corruption. I support universal not-for-profit health care. I support Dennis Kucinich.

UPDATE: In slo-mo replay of the "Who came in a private jet" question I caught during the still-ongoing CNN circle jerk, we had some "Hell yeah"s, some "Um, I don't know, Sean Hannity might make fun of me"s, and a single, chuckling Kucinich in the foreground, his hand decidedly DOWN. Hell yeah.

HR 676 Universal Healthcare: Don’t Stop Believin’

35 Percenters have rolled out yet another bit of Kucinich '08 love with some Blue Gal appeal. Enjoy!



[Alternative YouTube Link]

Bush Confusion Revisited

Last week, I posted on how Bush was flashing his package to the insurance industry with a wink and a nod by railing against giving kids - children who are by default victims of their parents' decisions - free insurance. This weekend I saw SiCKO and will have much more ranting on the way. But back to the post and this picture:



Now, I don't have the superpowers of CSI Enhance > Enhance > Enhance technology, but let's take a closer look:



There is going to be some distortion based on the refraction of light due to the water, but clearly, all his fingers aren't on the home keys. Taking into consideration that in order to demonstrate to the president that the keyboard that is under water is working, a scientist might use the visible cord to hook it up to a working computer, possibly with a word processor open on the screen, then we can assume that by typing on the keyboard, a result could be seen on a monitor of some type (love them puns).

With that thought in place, the president's fingers splayed akimbo on the keyboard like a drunken spider's legs, and that painful hybrid look of confusion and concentration, I vote that the president has no idea how to type. Further, technology of any kind confuses and mildly frightens him, much like black people or the monster in his closet.

Most importantly, I cannot get over simply staring at that picture and saying to myself "This is the leader of our country." It makes me want to move to Europe. Now.

But like I said, I'll be talking about SiCKO soon.

Bill O'Reilly Hates on Gays ...Again

This one from Media Matters is about a week old from good ol' Bill, but then again, I don't get time to blog on Sundays. Leave it to Bill to bring a non-issue to a fever pitch (no pun apologies today).

During the July 12 edition of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor, host Bill O'Reilly responded to a viewer's email regarding his July 11 report on a gay pride night at the San Diego Padres' Petco Park the same night as a hat giveaway for children, during which O'Reilly called it "insane" to "cluster" gay men and lesbians during a "hat giveaway for any kid under 12." In his email, the viewer stated that O'Reilly's "position seems to imply that putting gays and kids together in one place is a bad thing" and claimed that "kids are around gays every day." O'Reilly responded: "But not thousands of them, sir. That can be confusing to children."

Bill, the kids went to a baseball game and most of them - and their parents - were certainly oblivious to any homosexual presence. That's because gay people look just like you and me. I know, it's a controversial view, but there it is.

Is it because you don't want a gay taint on something so traditionally American and Masculine as baseball? Is it because you have some long-defunct festering sore in your brain that still equates homosexuals to pedophiles? Either way, the issue is with you, Bill, not the kids, parents, or homosexuals that just want to enjoy a ball game. The "Worlds Collide!" banner during this story is the testament to your own sensationalism.

As for these kids being confused: if they were aware of the presence of homosexuals at the game and saw them enjoying baseball - just like they were - then they may have made a very real and humanistic observation that gay and straight are not so different after all. The only way this could lead to confusion would be if it were butting up against a previously indoctrinated and bigoted view of America, one which Bill O'Reilly apparently believes should be solidly in place.

Kids, Sex Ed, Obama Throws, Romney Ducks

Best article I could find on the topic was the ABC News version entitled "Sex Ed for Kindergartners?" (via Drudge).

Here's the rundown:

• Obama reaffirms an issue almost 4 years old with Planned Parenthood, stating "age-appropriate" sex ed should begin in kindergarten.
• Romney's all "No one in my state said there wasn't enough sex ed."
• Someone points out Massachusetts has sex ed plan that can begin in pre-kindergarten
• "We had not awareness, no input and certainly did not promote these curriculum frameworks," said Fehrnstrom, who served as Romney's communications director all four years that he was governor.
• Obama, sitting in his living room quietly whispers "Ooh, snap. I'm good."

As Obama stated, kids knowing the difference between good touching and bad touching is a good thing, and that would fall under sex education. Back in 2004: "If they ask a teacher 'where do babies come from,' that providing information that the fact is that it's not a stork is probably not an unhealthy thing. Although again, that's going to be determined on a case by case basis by local communities and local school boards.'"

Personally, I had the "puberty/boys 'n' girls/basic sex/ask me anything" talk with our daughter when she was in 3rd grade, just after she turned 9.

Take your moment to gasp. (Oh, the humanity!)

Why would I do such a thing? Because kids in 3rd grade are already talking about it, trading horribly incorrect information, whether from older siblings or something misinterpreted on Skinemax. Little girls in 5th grade are giving little boys in fifth grade blow jobs. It's not happening everywhere, but it's happening, and it only gets worse in Jr. High. And if you have kids, YOU need to be established as an approachable expert and authority concerning sex NOW.

We no longer live in the world where I grew up, where 7th grade started the bra boom, and we're eons from the reality in which Obama or Romney copped their first feel.

But if Mitt Romney wants to remain oblivious to reality around him and tell these children, their minds being torn asunder by hormones and emerging sexual identity, that they should just not have sex, to just say no to naughtiness, then that is his prerogative.

Personally, I'm not too worried. Should by some Joseph Smith revival miracle of asshattery Mitt Romney actually win the presidency, the best way to tell how a person will act in the future is to look at their past actions; he was so absent-minded and ineffective concerning sex ed policies in one state, how is he going to effect change in 50?

Synopsis: Obama runs away with this one.

And in a totally underhanded and unassociated train of thought deliberately designed to alienate Mitt Romney based on his religion: Did you know Mormons wear funny underwear?



Okay, not entirely unrelated; perhaps that's how they can be so nonchalant about abstinence: no one's getting laid in those.