Friday, February 27, 2009

Cops N (Weed) Brownies

I have watched this repeatedly. Laughed every time. A cop confiscated some weed, was obviously ignorant about how to use and the effects of marijuana, and freaked the fuck out. And called 911.

This isn't new, but damn it's good.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Joking About Octomom

Octomom is a disease of humanity and media.

Listening to Stephanie Miller tonight, I heard a lovely joke:
Did you know IHOP is doing a new Octomom omlette?

It's 14 eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you paid for it.
How do you punish someone who doesn't do anything illegal, but something morally and socially wrong? In our society, you give her an international platform so everyone can talk about how you punish someone who doesn't do anything illegal, but something morally and socially wrong. And everyone watches.

And nothing happens, though I cannot come up with an answer as to what should. Besides, perhaps, sending all her kids to foster care.

Masters of the Universe, answer our prayers.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Bobby Jindal Epic Fail - And Racism by Proxy

This bit of David Brooks on Bobby Jindal's epic fail (h/t Wonkette):

And during a brief jaunt today I had the unfortunate chance to digest a bit of Rush Limbaugh. He said that Biden probably wondered who sat in for Bobby Jindal's shift at the 7-11.

This is racism by proxy. By saying someone was probably thinking something racist - especially when it is your political party that is known for exacerbating race issues - no one is fooled. You had that thought, Rush. And because it wasn't appropriate for you to have, you put it in the feigned imagination of a democrat.

Another laughably ironic piece of the story. I recently heard Rush lamenting pop culture, that everything in pop culture is looked at as liberal, that it's a foregone conclusion. Of course, someone who was even remotely in the loop on "what's hip" probably wouldn't be making an Indian/convenience store reference with an expiration date a decade old.

Everyone knows a call center or Slumdog Millionaire extra reference is much more apropos.

There are exceptions, but conservatives do not do funny and they do not do hip and they do not do technology. And Rush is case in point.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Parenting Adventures - Who's the Adult?

Let's just get this over with. Little Shambles is no longer little and turns 13 in a month, so she will be henceforth referred to as the Irish Dancer as that is the closest thing to a passion she currently has developing in her life. We shall never speak of this again.

So Sunday morning found us at The Original Pancake House in Montgomery where they have enormous, delicious omelets like you've never seen or experienced before unless you've been to The Original Pancake House. It was a good meal with the family and after we paid I walked out into the foyer and, in attempt to embarrass the Irish Dancer - a fine pastime of mine - stated in an impaired voice "Yeah, I like Spongebob too!"

The Irish Dancer looked at me with overtired tween disdain, huffed, and said "What does that have to do with anything. We were talking about dicks."

Of course, what she actually said, having been mid-conversation with Mrs. Shambles about softball, was "We were talking about Dick's [Sporting Goods]."

But I laughed. Hard. I laughed all the way to the car and I laughed all the way home and chuckled out loud several times for the rest of the day. She had said it with such conviction and fervor.

So last Sunday, the Irish Dancer learned that men will laugh at jokes like they are twelve years old, pretty much until we die.

Politics in Absolutisms - I Say: Shit Sandwich

Bush's Shit Sandwich
8 Years of Bush Special. At least you get a pickle.

I don't often blog about comments, but as I get few comments and have dropped to 6 followers, I thought I'd hit this one that someone from the Silent Majority recently left lauding the day when liberals would be "a footnote in history."

First off, I've never liked that phrase because it's often misused and inapplicable, such as in this case. Dems and Repubs share pretty much equally in the history of America and neither will ever have a day as a footnote.

And as much as I'm a self-proclaimed vehement, godless liberal, even I know that all politics are cyclical. You would have to be 5 and live in a cave not to have at least an inkling of that:

One party will make a bunch of promises, eventually the public will say "yeah, that's what we need now," and then that party will gain power and favor. But because they're politicians they will become corrupted by power, fail to do what the majority had in mind, and the other party will ramp up their rhetoric of a bunch of promises. The middle will migrate in the opposite direction - not because of loyalty, but disappointment - and say "yeah, that's what we need now...." Rinse and repeat.

As much as I voted for and appreciate Obama right now, it's only been a frickin' month. I think there is a lot of potential but I'm not on board with the folks the Right jokingly refers to as Obamessiah worshipers.

What makes me laugh about the Right in the last couple weeks...okay there's a lot that makes me laugh. But let's just talk about one thing.

For the last eight years, America has been glutting on a double-stacker shit sandwich, served on a plate of war, extra side of scandal, hold the Constitutional rights. No comment on that from wingnuts. But less than a month - hell, as soon as the election was over, the Right nutters start shouting "hey, this don't smell right!"

Note to the Right: eating shit for 8 years may alter perceptions to the point that anything that is not shit "smells funny." Take a break from your feces panini and grab a glass of water. "This" is much better than "that."

Monday, February 23, 2009

Papal Support of Censorship

No, I'm not going to start calling this blog The Pope Follies. I've got a political itch coming back and will be talking about it very soon.

So that goon Benedict and his bullshittery:
"The Assembly of Catholic Ordinaries of the Holy Land has publicly expressed the disdain and protest of Christians over a television programme transmitted in recent days by the Israeli private television station 'Channel 10', in which the Lord Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary were ridiculed with blasphemous words and images."
So what was the issue? It turns out that Channel 10 in Israel had a late night show that did a spoof on religion.
In the show, Mary is said to have become pregnant at 15, thanks to a schoolmate.

It said Jesus could never have walked on water because "he was so fat he was ashamed to leave the house, let alone go to the Sea of Galilee with a bathing suit".
Boo fucking hoo. So someone on a show known for comedy makes a joke about religion. A bunch of sanctimonious Christians whine which is backed up by the sanctimonious Catholic papa and gets a sanctimonious apology from the Prime Minister of Israel.

Which just goes to show: you can make up a bunch of shit and put it in a book and cook it in dogma and blind belief for 2000 years to the point that when someone makes a joke about that book the world takes notice and the leader of a sovereign nation makes a public apology.

See, the late-night show just needs a book and a couple millenia and everyone will be okay with it. Until someone makes a "Jesus was so skinny..." joke.