Applesauce Hay!

I'm out of town, for the holiday weekend, but the umbilical will still feed me by either my parents' broadband or with mobile blogging, through the ether.

Have a great 4th. I'll miss you.

Buchanan and Hate: Late, Ignorant, Dobson-Lovin' Rant-o-Rama

In an article that appeared in my inbox today, I was dumbfounded by the late-to-the-party article put forth by Pat Buchanan in which he supported the bigot Dobson and slammed Obama:

"Even ... if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States ... whose Christianity would we teach in the schools? Would we go with James Dobson's or with Al Sharpton's?"

Barack was saying that, since Christians disagree deeply over what is biblical truth, why fight? Let us "try to translate some of our concerns in a universal language so that we can have an open and vigorous debate rather than have religion divide us."

In Catholicism, this is the heresy of indifferentism, which holds that one religion is just as good as another and all religions can be a path to salvation. The Pew poll out last week reveals that 82 percent of Protestants believe there are multiple paths to salvation, as do 79 percent of Catholics and 57 percent of evangelicals.

A striking development. For did not Christ say, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"?

Dr. Dobson is having none of it.

Instead of towing the hate line and using devisive arguments and being such a fucking tool, perhaps Buchanan should take a look at his words.

Obama is promoting unity, not the hard-line version of any specific Christianity. But as Obama approaches unity, absurdity approaches infinity, and Buchanan attacks with "In Catholicism" that's heresy! Of course it is; Catholics are supposed to believe that anyone who's not Catholic will go to hell, and even if you are Catholic, if you use birth control or swear and don't go to confession you're going to hell. Then he brings up Protestants and Evangelicals, who are only Protestants and Evangelicals because at some point in their history, they split from the Catholic Church because they didn't believe in Catholic nuance. And instead of becoming heretical, they organized their own churches, and the Evangelicals have a similar "My way or hell" attitude towards any other Christian sects - including Catholics.

For did not Christ say, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"?

Yes, he did, and we have all these Christian sects, all of whom believe in Jesus Christ as the savior, we have Catholics and Greek Orthodox and Methodists and Lutherans and Baptists and even the fucking Amish who are all part of the sects they are part of because so many people have so many differing opinions about exactly what that quote means.

And then he supports Dobson - who is "having none of it" - as some sort of sanctimonious overlord when he's part and parcel of the whole ball of intolerance that led to these splits in the first place, these splits that Buchanan soon after magically transports to the future (as though God spawned all versions of Christianity just as they are right now) and spurned on by the two things Republicans can't stand: them damn homos and women seeking equality:

It is splitting the Episcopalians. A traditionalist minority has severed communion over female bishops and homosexual marriages.

Layer one of suck on this article is the sheer religious ignorance with which it is put forth; I have never read something so intentionally biased and twisted and intolerant and unintentionally ignorant and hypocritical, a popsicle-stick tower bound by chewed gum and scotch tape, crafted in the bowels of the incontinent and fired in a high school kiln to focus a single, shaking, ossified finger at a public figure to compliment the frothy-lipped, spittle-spouting, growling "Yoooouuuuu!"

Layer two of suck on this article is, while completely void of actual, informed content, for every one of me reading it and deconstructing it and flicking my finger and watching Achilles collapse, there are thousands upon thousands of ignorant Republicans reading that same article and nodding their heads in agreement, mumbling "Fuck yeah, damn Muslims," and passing the word at work or in the bar that Pat Buchanan even said Obama's not a good Christian.

And that is what we're fighting: ignorance. And we will continue to fight it. And it is hard and will continue to be hard because misinformation is purposefully simplistic and simplistic is easy and thinking is hard and people are busy and stressed and don't have time for hard. Or research. Or truth.

And war is complicated and war is hard and religion is complicated and religion is hard and Ay-rabs is Muslims is Terr'rists is Hatin' 'Merica is pretty fucking easy.

And Pat Buchanan should fucking know better.

Back Scratching

This is not a euphemism about something naughty or sexual or ...perhaps it should be?

No, I'm here to tell you to scratch your back. Often.

I've been living for the last few weeks with a marginally incessant itch below my left shoulder blade. Soon after discovering the itch, I remembered I had a back-scratcher - something I never thought I would use, let alone have need for but had been provided by a relative at a Christmas gathering a year or two ago.

And I scratched.

And it felt fucking amazing. I think it was a combination of a basic itch that needed to be scratched, the almost-immediate resolution of something that should have been me back-humping the floor, the actual scratching, and the brilliance that I attributed to myself for making myself more comfortable.

Either way, buy yourself a simple back scratcher. Scratch your own back on occasion. You'll feel better, even if you don't itch. It's the closest you'll ever get to a hug from someone else, sans said someone else: self-contentment.

No, I'm not going through the self-pleasure portal for this post. Staying practical. But stay tuned...

You-Tubery and ... MRirian/Magibon

WTF?

...and after some research, no, there is no reason. With 55,600+ subscribers to her YouTube channel, over 2.5 million views, it appears we have someone who has successfully - with the magic of anime eyes the size of dinner plates - marketed herself, marketed a username, is probably 15 years old, but has nothing to offer - except that she has anime eyes, says she's 21, and looks 15. 55K? Creepy.

This makes Andy Warhol and Baby Jesus cry.