Friday, August 31, 2007

Larry Craig Resignation Betting Pool!

It's almost 4pm EST right now, and I have a very distinct feeling that the pressure kettle that is Larry Craig's conundrum (about resigning, not about coming out to his wife that he likes to suck dick through a glory hole, sometimes sans hole) will pop in the next 2 hours.

It's a simple equation: as time approaches the Friday evening story buryin' time, the likelihood of Craig resigning approaches infinity.

UPDATE: This just in! From the office of Larry Craig, a graph has been leaked - presumably from Sen. Craig himself - confirming my previous statement.

Larry Craig Resignation Graph - Not Gay

The media is gathered at Larry Craig's place. It's only a matter of time.

UPDATE 2: A slight miscalculation on my part, Larry Craig did not bite at the upswell of forgettable weekend news, but has taken Labor Day Weekend, and burrowed into the bosom of forgetfulness, the apex of the wave post-Snow-resignation, pre-game Ohio State Buckeyes opener, hiding himself amongst Miller Lite Waterfalls and the Great Grill Wall where he will slowly, sulkily, tiptoe away through scattered Tuesday morning hangovers under the cover of Tropical Storm Felix. He's having a "Saturday Morning" press conference "early this afternoon" (although earlier this morning it was "this morning") - During the Ohio State game! - Where he'll supposedly announce his resignation effective September 30th. Hell, the graphic is still accurate.

Honestly, I don't care when he does it; I just want to see him cry.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Stock Options and Terror Attacks: Coming this September?

Here's where the conspiracies begin, folks. Or, rather, some of the first information that'll be "we should have known" material should a major terrorist attack occur before September 21, 2007.

According to a Financial News article, someone has dumped a lot of money into what amounts to a market bet that Eurostoxx 50, Europe's top 50 stocks, will crash by 30%. Billions of dollars are at stake for this "investor."

Some further discussion leads us to believe that this is not the only instance of such trading and that whoever this mystery investor is will either be very rich or very SOL come September 21st.

Conspiracy theory? Take it with a grain of salt; remember that I also reported that we were going to start attacking Iran. Damn Russian reports.

Sen. Larry Craig: "I am not gay."

At the end of yesterday's sordid tale (Again With the Gay Republican Bathroom Sex), we left a picture of Bob Allen with a dildo in his hand (NSW) and Larry Craig stuttering out "I am not gay; I never have been gay."

The Police Report
The Police Report of Sgt. Dave Karsnia goes way beyond misconstrued signals. Not only was there toe tapping, but Larry rubbed his foot - from in his stall - against the police officer's, as well as swiping his hand under the stall in a playful/signaling gesture. Something seriously hinky was afoot, and if Sgt. Karsina says it was bathroom stall foreplay, I'm going to trust him on that.

The Past Allegations
The Idaho Statesman's complete coverage has it all: other toe-tapping behavior arrests, Larry Craig's past behaviors, a source who claims to have had sex with Craig in a bathroom in the past, Craig's resigning from several Senate seats, and the calling from other conservatives for him to resign. One word: snowball. No, not like that, gutter mind.

The Handling of the Airport Bathroom Sex Incident
If I were in a bathroom, tapping my foot, and a police officer came at me with allegations of lewd behavior, and I was truly not doing anything wrong, I would be fighting tooth and nail to get my name cleared. Larry Craig did not do that; he quietly accepted the charges and several weeks later went back to plead guilty to lesser charges in a sad move to push it to the side. He apparently did not consult with lawyers and appallingly did not consult with his wife. People only hide something that carefully when they have something to hide.

I saw the press conference, and as the bumbling reading came across over the coaxial I said to Mrs. Shambles: "This will not end well." We watched with disbelief as he denied everything, and for all the words coming out of his mouth, his demeanor, and body language, he might as well have been performing fellatio as he spoke. It would have been more eloquent - and elegant.

There is no broom; there is no rug; everyone saw through it.

I can see this ending tomorrow in another press conference, but I'll give it a week on the outside. Sen. Larry Craig needs to resign lest he further aid in the continuing collapse of the Republican party.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

We Are Not OK

From Suspect Device for Bush's visit on the 2 year anniversary of Katrina:

We are not OK

Take a Stand Town Hall Meeting - End the Iraq War!

Last night I attended the Take a Stand Town Hall Meeting to end the Iraq War over in Oakley. Over 300 people showed up! Rep. Jean Schmidt and members of the press were not in attendance. Here's some pictures and information about the event and the speakers.

Get active! Get involved! (My letter to the media is at the end.)

Town Hall Meeting Marquee
Town Hall Meeting in Oakley - Iraq Forum

Preshow Demonstration
Some remained outside to raise awareness

American troop death toll
This woman's sign is, sadly, different today

Overview of Oakley Take a Stand Town Hall Meeting
An overview of the event

Line to get in and register
Lining up and signing up: getting involved

Message of the Rally: Jean Schmidt, end the war now
Prominent message of the rally

Connie Pillich
(indoor lighting was poor, camera not up to task)
Connie Pillich was the MC and is a veteran

Councilman David Crowley
Councilman David Crowley, veteran, is a strong supporter of our troops and strong dissenter of the war - yes, you can be both - representing the political side from the point of view of City Council

Marty Webster
Marty Webster put the fire of protest and outrage in our bellies, representing Vietnam Veterans Against the War as a founding member

Thor Jacobs
Thor Jacobs came with enough political science to pull every troop out of Iraq for the betterment of the U.S. and the world - now we must spread that word

Sister Alice Gerderman
Sister Alice Gerderman, with Catholics against the war, added a realistic, humanistic, spiritual end to the speakers last night, speaking of what is in our hearts and how our leaders have strayed from the truth

Town Hall Meeting Crowd
Over 300 people attended

More Town Hall Meeting Crowd
That's right, over 300 people

It was amazing to have so many people united in one place to support our troops and to end the war. It showed me the evolving face of concern that the Iraq war is taking on, and the humanism behind the eyes of the movement. And then there's that spirit, that fire that's beginning to smolder. Again, I say: get active. Get involved.

There were no members of the media present and Rep. Jean Schmidt was MIA, to turn a phrase. For that reason, this is my letter to The Cincinnati Enquirer, The Cincinnati Post, Local 12 WKRC, ABC-9 WCPO, FOX-19 WXIX, 5-NBC WLWT, and (slightly edited for) Rep. Jean Schmidt:
Yesterday evening, August 28, 2007, I attended the Take a Stand Town Hall Meeting to Stop the Iraq War. I - and over 300 other people - felt it important enough to give up an evening to discuss and become inspired about how our country, the United States of America, is wasting millions of dollars daily in a war that will not be won by force, but has cost over 3,700 American and countless Iraqi civilian lives. We gathered to discuss options on further protest, political and diplomatic perspectives, the lessons of the past, and to voice our disapproval about how a not-so-newly elected Democratic congress has failed to act on the one issue that mattered most when Americans made their decision in that ballot box last November: ending the Iraq War.

While the media and our elected officials were alerted to this Town Hall Meeting, Rep. Jean Schmidt and members of the Cincinnati media were conspicuously absent. My question to you is: when will it matter; when will it become news? At the last event I attended, only a dozen or so others were able to commit time during the day to show up, and I was disappointed then to see no media there. Last night there were over 300 people gathered to discuss the most important issue facing our country today, and the media took a pass. When will it become news? We are growing, becoming impassioned, drawing our friends and family into this circle of concern about the Bush administration's bumbling record and the congressional rubber stamp that is leading America down a road of ruin. We will continue to gather; we will continue to write letters; we will continue make phone calls until we can be ignored no longer. But when will it become news? When we're 3,000 strong in Cincinnati? When our government has allowed 5,000 American soldiers to perish overseas? When will you decide our country is important enough to simply show up?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Again With the Gay Republican Bathroom Sex!

Sen. Larry Craig, photo from his website
mwm iso nsa m4m airport bathroom sex

Sen. Larry Craig's Brokeback Mountain Website
The Senator's Website: NOT Brokeback Mountain, ID

In a recent post entitled More Gay Republican Blowjobs, I said "Will the joy of Republicans, gay sex, and bigotry ever end? My Magic 8 Ball definitively proclaims 'No.'" Less than three weeks have passed and I am pleased to proclaim the fidelity of my Magic 8 Ball. From, amongst others, WaPo:
Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), a three-term senator, "pleaded guilty earlier this month to misdemeanor disorderly conduct charges stemming from his June arrest by an undercover police officer in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport."
Sen. Craig was apparently aware of the highly-complicated mating ritual of the homosexual bathroom deviant to tap their right foot under the stall, alerting other like-minded toilet trawlers that it is, in fact, "go time." Then he pleaded guilty - although he says he did nothing wrong - to handle it "quickly and expeditiously." Durr. Ooh, and did I mention he's outspoken about being part of the "gay people are dirty cause Jesus says so" gang?

Our American leadership has gone into absurdity overdrive.

You may also recall in my last post on this topic I captioned Bob Allen (R-FL)'s impressive ham-fisted ham radio pic with "no, I'm not Photoshopping a dildo into his hand." This second appalling incident has inspired me to reconsider that position.

(Not Safe for Work)
Bob Allen Photoshop


UPDATE: 4:30pm EST Sen. Larry Craig Press Conference. Will he cry? Beg forgiveness? Pull a R. Budd Dwyer? Come out of the closet? Resign? Elect not to run again?

I can't wait!

UPDATE: Sen. Larry Craig has unsuccessfully dodged the issue, admitting to nothing, calling his choice to plead guilty "regrettable" and claiming "I am not gay; I never have been gay." He may as well have continued, "Glory holes are a hobby, not a lifestyle." The only truth in his press conference was that this issue is certainly not over. With the police report, anonymous sources, and the logic behind his line of reasoning, this'll get another post later today, and I'm adding a tag for him.

Miss Teen USA 2007 - No Maps, South Africa, Iraq

Some people are blowing this out, talking about the "ditzy chick" or the "blond moment." What struck me was the irony inherent in a question posed to express concern about the state of education in America, answered in a way that really showcased the poor state of education in America; that in order to gain recognition and worth to stand out and speak out against the ills plaguing society, they all believe this is the path, and they all must reinforce a stereotypical false ideal of beauty that will affect millions of little girls.

If you haven't seen it, you know you want to watch:

[Alternate YouTube Link]

It's painful to watch like the bad American Idol auditions, like that kid at the choir concert who - why? why? - got the music teacher to give him a solo. Ugh.

Glenn Beck's take? They tell us pedophilia is a bad thing and then parade 15-year olds around in bikinis. How confusing.

Actually, Glenn, there was only one fifteen year old in the pageant, and the only person who would make that statement would be a grown man who is personally struggling with justifying why they needed half a box of Kleenex on the end table during his viewing.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Ron Paul Dirty Tatctics

Ron Paul's followers are pulling some dirty politics. Kucinich Press Release.

The person who posted this was tricky enough to place a Ron Paul supporter group photo on the main page. Since the original posting, it has been altered to include many Kucinich photos. But the Ron Paul folks are still there (photo 4 of 7 as of this publishing).

Let's keep dirty politics out of it. The leaders are heavy enough in it.