Saturday, July 26, 2008

Girls + Boys = Babies! Or Something About Math

In a recent study, it was revealed that girls and boys are equally good at math.


Next they'll be wearing pants and running for president.

Woah, put down the scimitars! Joking!

Seriously, as a former teacher and father with a 12-year-old daughter, I am well aware of the social structures in place that cause girls to dumb themselves down, to not raise their hand, to giggle "Um..." when they know the answer. In 1994 Teen Talk Barbie's words: "Math is hard!"

This is great news from both a social and psychological perspective, a good example that dominance is not just the domain juiced muscles or misplaced male aggression.

But it may yet require pants.

Stop! It's bleeding!

Kucinich Gets His Day

You will not hear a five-second audio clip about this on any major news network, and the Democratic party is too busy tucking its figurative penis between its legs.

Kucinich gets reelected every time because he goes to bat for his constituents and if you live in his district, you know he is working for you, not just on your dime like much of congress. And perhaps if the rest of congress pulled its head out of its ass and rocked the boat a bit, did what they were elected to do, they'd have an approval rating a little higher than abysmal.

Thank you Dennis, and thank you Real News Network.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Putz's Creamy Whip

Would you eat Putz's Creamy Whip?

Putz's Creamy Whip

I would. Actually, I will. I ran across this photo serendipitously, almost laughed beer out my nose, and then did it again when I found Putz's lives 20 minutes from my house! (map - to Put'z, not my house, silly). They're on the web, and are so popular locally that the street they're on was renamed Putz Place.

How did this gem escape me? Nevermind. Thank you internets.

I will report back. You know, just like when I eventually go to the Creation Museum, also 20 minutes from my house.


Conversation with a friend of mine, the day after the post:

RICKY: So how do I get to your house again?
FRIEND: I'll give you the address, just Google it.
RICKY: (Googling) Oh, okay, yeah -
FRIEND: It's just -
RICKY: Shit. West Fork. Holy crap. Have you ever been to Putz's?
FRIEND: Yeah, used to babysit for their kids.
RICKY: [brain pops]

WTF, dude?

China's Safe! Yay!

How do you make sure everyone feels safe at the Olympics? If you're China, while people are still grumbling about the pollution, you shout: Hay, we just stopped the terr'ists! Yay!
Shanghai police have broken up an international terrorist group that had planned to attack an Olympic football preliminary match in the city, state news agency Xinhua said on Thursday.

Right. Best quote: "We have staged raids...."

I bet you have.

Do It Live McCain Remix

Ah, Crooks and Liars.

Ah, Break.

Ah, internets. - Watch more free videos

Send Rove to Jail

Go to Send Karl Rove to Jail, and sign a petition that's already over 100,000 strong.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Ben Stein: Continuing a Legacy of WTF

I remember almost two years ago when I thought Ben Stein was a pretty hep cat, and then one day I realized he was an idiot tool for the right wing.

He's still out shucking eye drops - and ignorance.

Media Matters brought the following to my attention:
On the July 23 edition of CNN Headline News' Glenn Beck, guest Ben Stein, while discussing Sen. Barack Obama's plan to deliver his speech accepting the Democratic presidential nomination at Denver's Invesco Field, stated that he did not "like the idea of Senator Obama giving his acceptance speech in front of 75,000 wildly cheering people" because "[t]hat is not the way we do things in political parties in the United States of America." Stein continued: "Seventy-five-thousand people at an outdoor sports palace, well, that's something the Fuehrer would have done. And I think whoever is advising Senator Obama to do this is bringing up all kinds of very unfortunate images from the past."
Sour fucking grapes.

No, Ben, it's not "the way we do things" in US politics because people look at politics with shades of ennui and disdain: they think it's boring and bullshit and 24-hour C-SPAN and in the back rooms they plot and plan and figure out how to rape and pillage America. The fact that any person in American politics could get 75,000 people not only excited enough to talk about going to see him, but to actually mobilize and fill a goddamned stadium is amazing in a world with a six second attention span.

My history professor in college said that you can tell a lot about a civilization by the largest areas of congregation that it constructs. Ancient Rome had the Coliseum; The Dark Ages brought wonder to the masses with churches and cathedrals; Today, it's NASCAR. Seriously.

And a man who stakes his career on his supposed intelligence is comparing Barack Obama to Hitler - forget the discussion, forget Godwin's Law, right out the fucking gate: well, he's Hitler.

But while the reference was obviously to Hitler, I can't quite wrap my head around Ben's word choice: the Fuehrer. I understand he probably understood he was making a dick move and wanted to soften the blow, but "Fuehrer" is German for "leader," noun capitalization and all.

So in an obvious move to demonize Barack Obama (oddly, by referencing a man who would have killed Barack Obama based solely on his skin color), Mr. Stein inadvertently called Barack Obama a leader and - a man of Jewish heritage himself - referred to the monster that annihilated millions of of that Jewish heritage by Hitler's honorary name, der Fuehrer.

Ben Stein: today - and every day - Cause For Concern's Pet WTF Tool.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Weighted Companion Cube

I spend a good deal of my "free time" playing video games, but my enjoyment for series like Final Fantasy lead me to being a little behind (I own but have not finished FFXII, God of War II, Kingdom Hearts for PS2). And then I went and bought an Xbox 360. I got the Orange Box (game). I played Portal.

Weighted companion cube

Stage 17 - Never Forget.


look at me still talking
when there's science to do...

Not to be too dense, the words above are lyrics displayed from the original musical recording played while the lyrics and credits run after you complete the game. The following video is a recording of the finishing song. Creepy and hilarious.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!

This game was one of my top 5 ever, a black comedy that I have yet to conclude (after finishing, I still have achievements and advanced levels to beat).

And please, should anyone read the words "black comedy" and feel the urge to play the game and write a script, either quell that urge with beautiful booze or put a bullet in your head.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

McCain's Geography

For those of you unaware of some of the nuance of the geography of the Middle East,

Iraq Pakistan Border

...Iraq and Pakistan do not, in fact, actually touch.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Limbaugh: Rich Fat Fuck Strikes Again

Rush Limbaugh is a Pig Butt

Rush Limbaugh, against whom I regularly rail, is at it again. Or was. Last Tuesday, I caught this little diatribe:
Senator Bob Casey from Pennsylvania, who I charitably will say is an order of fries short of a Happy Meal, is sitting there reading a letter from a constituent to Bernanke, the chairman of the Federal Reserve, and anybody else watching on television in the room, and he summed it up here in one sentence. The letter was from Tammy May, not Fannie Mae, not Freddie Mac, Tammy May, a single mother of two living in Pennsylvania. This is what he read of her letter to him: "We have to reprioritize. House comes first, then day care, then gasoline, then food." This constituent of Bob Casey's put food last on her list of new priorities. Bob Casey reads this, and obviously what he's trying to do here is milk what's going on out there as a national disaster.

What does he fail to mention? She has a job. This is not an unemployed woman. This is a woman who has a job, but she can't figure out how to live her life on her own so she needs Senator Casey and the Democrats to figure it out for her. Well, she's figured it out, but she wants them to make her do it, which is even sadder, when you get right down to it. When you prioritize things, just think about this. If you were going to write Senator Bob Casey a letter and tell him that we need to reprioritize things in life, where would you put food?
Rush continued to laugh at a woman who's obviously not only poor but too stupid to know what order things come in.

But Rush Limbaugh, sweating about his gold-thread codpiece, is a bit blind to the way the world works. So here it is for you, Rush, you ignorant slut:
  1. House - If you don't have a house, you don't have shelter, or an address. Without an address it is relatively difficult to get a job of any sort, which you so graciously point out as though it were a big deal that Tammy May is not unemployed.
  2. Day care - Unlike the nanny that you have keeping an eye on the 11 year old male prostitute from the Dominican Republic, real people need to find real solutions to avoid negligence of children. If Tammy May wants to hold a 9-5 job, she needs to pay someone, probably a good piece of her income, to watch her children while she works.
  3. Gas - Although it doesn't affect you, dick, gas is a very real issue for real people. If Tammy May can't afford or continue to afford to purchase gas, she cannot drive her kids to day care, cannot drive to her job, and will lose one, perhaps eventually both because she cannot afford...
  4. Food - 1, 2, and 3 are necessities to keeping a roof over her head and a job. Without those things, food is moot.
Rush, you foul your mouth and get worked up about the welfare state and here we have a prime example of a woman, busting her ass, playing by the rules, stretched and writing a letter to her representative to say "hey, just so you're aware, it's fucking tough out here." And Rush laughs, because he's ignorant and he's an asshole. If there was one single example of the character he lacks, this is it.