Saturday, October 04, 2008

That Whole Palin Biden Thing

I know I promised a point-by-point, but about halfway through, I almost turned it off.

Biden spoke commandingly and knowledgeably about all the topics, outlining what an Obama administration would mean for America. Palin was informed, but much of the time blatantly refused to answer the question at hand, and did not address how a McCain administration would be better than Bush. Ifill, brow-beaten by the media about her book and docile to avoid any and all criticism, refused to play any role as a moderator with follow-up questions, and decided tossing out subjects without enforcement was a better way to handle things.

No one biffed too hugely and no one over-dominated. In other words, it was boring. And Friday the left wing declared Biden the winner and the right wing radio folks were giddy as schoolgirls because Palin didn't shit herself on stage.

And where the fuck were the chairs?

Catullus on Aemilius

Mrs. Shambles had to write something for a Roman history class, and I found this lovely, contemporary translation of Catullus. For those of you who don't know, Catullus was an Ancient Roman poet, contemporary of Caeser and Cicero whose straightforward, unapologetic, and sometimes baudy language makes him a joy to read. He's been compared at times to Charles Bukowski. Here's a sample:


I almost can't tell if it makes any difference
greeting Aemilius from the front or behind.
The smell is so awful. Perhaps his ass is less
hideous because it has no teeth. The ones he has are a foot long,
his gums are rotting, and his lips are like a donkey's
cunt as it parts on a hot day when she is taking a piss.
He says he fucks the girls. He thinks he's charming.
He is so dumb he can't even walk a miller's donkey
around a grinding wheel. If there's a woman anywhere
who would touch him, she'd have no problem licking the
diseased ass of an aged hangman as he waits between jobs.

Who thought Roman poetry could be so much fun?

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Palin vs. Biden. And...Fight!

Biden Palin Kombat

Yes, this debate would be so much better as a modified version of Mortal Kombat with Palin's Brain Short Circuit and Biden's Howl-Down fatalities, but where's the schadenfreude in that?

I haven't done it in a while, but I'll have an entry up tomorrow morning about the ensuing absurdity that will be the sit-down chat the VP candidates are having tonight. Which means, if you do not recall, any point I think is worth noting, snidely commenting about, or ranting on.

Getchur popcorn and pringles and pinot grigio ready. It's going to be a good'un.

UPDATE: I watch about 20 minutes a day of MSNBC unless I'm lucky to be free to catch whatever I can of Olbermann. I did, however see this exchange with Matthews about whether Biden will help Palin adjust her chair at the debate.

As opposed to Mortal Kombat style, I'd prefer this part to be very Jerry Springer. You know, Palin "represents Joe six-pack," so perhaps she should set the tone by running out on stage, picking up her own chair, and clobbering Biden, screaming "Adjust that, you insider BLEEP-er!" And bald-ass Steve comes out and just crosses his arms and everything settles down until Palin is asked about Russia and she leaps on Biden, trying to claw his eyes out, screaming "Russia ate my first kid, you BLEEP-er!"

And then they bust out the paternity test.

Or not. But one can wish.

The Ignorant Vote

I've talked about it before. Case in point:

Ignorant Fuck Can't Even Spell Muslim

To clarify: Barack Obama is only half plain-woven cotton fabric.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Obama Biden Terrorism

My brother brought this up to me right after the Biden announcement, wondering - with all the Muslim-hatin' Conservatives out there - why chose Biden?

O(b,s)ama Bi(n La)den

I'm waiting for the nutters to go there. If they haven't already.

Palin on Reading: Ummmmm...

Sarah Palin was asked what newspapers she reads on a regular basis to stay informed. The Journalist cum Governor cum VP Candidate got involved in the following verbal version of Chevy Chase playing President Ford:
COURIC: And when it comes to establishing, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and understand the world?

PALIN: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

COURIC: Like what ones specifically?

PALIN: Umm… all of them. Any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.

COURIC: Can you name any of them?

PALIN: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news… Alaska isn’t a foreign country where it’s kind of suggested it seems like, wow how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, DC may be thinking and doing, when you live up there in Alaska. Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.
I believe she should be in the cast of Heroes for season 3; every time Palin speaks, the basic lack of coherence causes short-circuits in the analytical parts of thinking peoples' brains with the apparent, intentional goal of turning the country into a bunch of drooling goons who will finally accept the still lingering bullshit fear that Obama is a Muslim. In other words, her super power is the ability to make the world like West Virginia and guarantee a McCain landslide.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

McCain Don't Know Nothin' 'Bout No Economies

Brave New Films:

What an asshat.

Corruption Under the Radar: U.S. Attorneys

I know everyone's poop-headed over Palin and making sure their portfolios aren't swimming with the fishes (hint: they're probably not), but hey, do you remember that one time when the Bush Administration fired those nine U.S. Attorneys and everyone was all like "You can't do that with partisan politics" and Gonzales was all "We're so not" and liberal bloggers were all "Uh-huh!" and Bush was like "Um, nun-uh?"

A 400 page report has been released with the following conclusion:
"Our investigation found significant evidence that political partisan considerations were an important factor in the removal of several . . . U.S. attorneys."
No shit. Eugene Robinson has a good bit at WaPo. Pass it around.

Kucinich on the Bailout

Almost makes me want to move back to Cleveland.

Monday, September 29, 2008

We'll Call It: The Sarah Palin Stain

I do believe the Republicans have been shitting themselves for the last few weeks, and the squeezes have become more stringent in the last few days, as Palin prepares herself to be chewed up, humiliated, belittled, and spat out by none other than Joe Biden this coming Thursday.

I can't fucking wait.

But the spots on the conservatives' pants are beginning to show.

I have unverified reports from Mrs. Shambles who heard it on NPR that there is a movement afoot on the right to pull her from the ticket.

Oh, please, please, please keep her. It's been so much fun attacking the blind faith ditto-heads the last few weeks with reality.

Updates if this pans out.


While I was away last week, a company I've been working with for almost three years sent me an e-card expressing sympathy, dated the day after the funeral. Because of spam filters, I got it this morning.

I think I'd appreciate the sentiment if it felt like there was any there. The equivalent of a curt email with clip art? Late? I was going to say "talk about phoning it in," but making a phone call may have actually taken ten minutes.

Is this a statement about society, or a single case of egregious laziness? Is it ever appropriate for real-life people with whom you have real-life relationships send an e-card when someone close to you has died?

What do you think?