Saturday, March 05, 2011

Driving Libs Crazy #64: USA Nomba-Won Tough Guy

[UPDATE: Badger reminded me about the Crazy on Facebook. Thanks!]

Been following the 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy (click that "crazy drive" tag at the bottom to see the goodies) and mostly it's been foolishness. Okay, it's ALL been foolishness. I just grab and showcase the ones that lay out teh stupids inherent in the Conservative Condition™.
Give them another reason why Obama has GOT to go.

He doesn't think America's anything special. No really, he doesn't. Quote: "I believe in American exceptionalism, just as I suspect the Brits believe in British exceptionalism and the Greeks believe in Greek exceptionalism." In other words: everybody's special. Tell your friend that, with his Barney the Dinosaur egalitarian worldview of everybody being special, Obama ought to be a kindergarten teacher, leading the kids in non-competitive, non-judgmental songs, not the leader of the free world.

This is a prime example of laying bare the cognitive and logical deficiency that is Conservatism: blind, faith-like fanaticism.

The Quote

I believe in American exceptionalism, just as I suspect the Brits believe in British exceptionalism and the Greeks believe in Greek exceptionalism.

Wait, you don't believe that something's the best just because you're part of it? You don't believe USA is the best because by fate or chance or God you are President of our fair land? *applause*

The Argument

What the conservative argument is is we believe in our own exceptionalism and that's valid (Woohoo! #1!), but every other country's own feeling of national pride and exceptionalism is really just joke-shop fake shit because our exceptionalism is the TRUE exceptionalism. WTF?

If I'm not mistaken, the Barney the Dinosaur worldview has a few backers, like God, Jesus, Buddha. You know, those radical liberal goons.

Friday, March 04, 2011

It's Chinese Boob Squish Friday!

You don't need to understand English to get this commercial. Sound effects are priceless. No nipples, but probably NSFW.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

WI Cops: Smarter Than the Average Bear

Wisconsin Senate Republicans want to have those durn Dems arrested. Police association says NO.

Don't the Repubs read? The Dems left the state because that voids the "compel them" clause if they flee.

But aside from that, this is probably how the convo worked out.
R-SEN: Go arrest those Dems!

COPS: Yeah. No.

R-SEN: The power of Legislature compels you!

COPS: But it's written right here we can't compel them.

R-SEN: But you can!

COPS: Uh, we're Wisconsin cops. We can't go gangbusters into Illinois and drag them out. That's illegal. You would need the FBI.

R-SEN: But the FBI is run by a black man in a white house.

COPS: Is that some sort of "eagle flies west" code?

R-SEN: Nevermind. So, just hypothetically, *wink* if they WERE in Wisconsin, would you go get in your big, strong cop car and hunt down those whiny, wobbly wittle Demmies?

COPS: Please don't touch my thigh. So you're asking if we would forcibly compel Democrats to return to the capitol so you can have a vote to pass a bill that will ruin public employee livelihood in an underhanded trade to give rich companies tax breaks?

R-SEN: Aww, COPS, you have such a way with words. But you're exempt. I mean, uh, yeah, kinda.

COPS: And how long until I'm next? You hold the gavel. Stick it up your ass. Then find another gavel and pound it in before I find a way to fit my foot up there.

R-SEN: Ooh, really?

COPS: Fuck off.

Or maybe that's how it should've been.

In Short: Conservative DoublePlusBackSpeak

Seems Eric Holder used the phrase "my people" outside the confines of his one allotted negro month. Black Nationalist! shouts the right (Glenn Beck). Radical!

But when Ohio Gov. Kasich addressed the head of the Ohio Black Caucus in regard to hiring ANY minority with "I don't need your people," well, he just meant Democrats.

Ooh! Ooh! Let's do another one!

When the Tea Party rallies, it's called representation. When Nazi and hate rhetoric shows up, they were obviously Democrat plants.

When public workers stand up for their rights and try to preserve unions as the only card they have to play when things get tough, they are bullying rioters who won't let lawmakers do their jobs. One Hitler reference (image missing) and the liberals and the unions have completely lost it.

Whee! Let's do more some other time!

Take it Back: I am Hilarious in Iraq

I was lamenting my lack of recent quality photoshops and then I realized: I've got a backlog that started even before I was blogging. OMG! So here's the first in an erratically-appearing series called Take it Back. And, of course, click the Photoshop tag at the bottom of the post to see other things I've posted in the past.

First one's a little rough (read:artifacted), but we're starting from the beginning.

This, of course, is the Ice Cream Mines of Southern Gumdrop Province, Iraq, where ice cream headaches are all-too common amongst these obviously exploited children.

In Short: Government Pushing Apocalypse?

Okay, I get Glenn Beck peddling food insurance, bringing out the crazy, end of the world bullshit to sell gold and backpacks full of freeze-dried food that'll last 10 years. But this video is from a .gov website:

Are they trying to tell us something?

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

In Short: Hannity's Arguments Trumped

Sean Hannity, king of the Awww Shucks I Don't Know About All That Elitist Learnin Republicans, was on the radios yesterday talking to the King of the Combover, Mr. Trump, who is apparently running for POTUS in 2012.

The thing I found strange (strange like if I suddenly shit jar of pickled haddock) was what was coming out of Trump's mouth, completely unimpeded by standard, right wing talking points.

Among these, Trump stated:
  • America cannot compete with China
  • China is taking all our jobs
  • The USA is not producing much
  • China's buyout of America IS happening in a vacuum

Had any of these things been spouted by a liberal, Sean would've gone into Robo-Republican mode: "No, you're wrong", [insert false talking point], "if it's free market, how can it be wrong?", *hang up*, "You know, it's just like those liberal elite..."

But not the Trumpster.

Hannity biases. You decide.

Meat Car