Thursday, December 17, 2009

R.E.M. on Letterman, 1983 - South Central Rain

Just when I don't think I can love the band any more, I find a gem like this.

The song is very, very sad (look up the lyrics), but wow with performance and holy shit Stipe with hair.

In Short: Mark Levin is Retarded

I just turned to SIRIUS Patriot to hear Mark Levin spout that the life expectancy in the US is not at par with other first world nations because people in the US drive cars with less steel and less size and you're not going to survive a crash in one of those tiny cars.

He has apparently never been to a foreign country, where tiny cars is pretty much the f'ing rule. Small cars, fuel economy, etc. Standard. Throughout Europe.

I suggest Mark to to Ireland and - if he can find it - drive around in an Escalade. He might be able to make it through the streets of major cities, i.e. Dublin. But he will never find a place to park, and if he ever has to travel outside the city, he will kill the first person he meets crossing many wide swaths of roads that are about 9 feet wide and lined with ancient stone walls.

That's why they have small cars there. Douche.

And he's going on, but I'll just say: Mark, the phrase is "Waiting for the OTHER shoe to drop" not "waiting for another shoe to drop."

Stop lying. Grow a brain.


Lost Dog

You ever turn a corner or get out of your car or just unexpectedly see something that turns your act into accidentally walking into a bus, but one just big enough that it plows right into your stomach?

That was me tonight hitting the gas station for smokes after a networking event.

I parked, got out, and gave all the crap scotch taped onto the glass of the AmeriStop a rudimentary glance and then


I saw something that looked like this:

Scrawled like that, a faded poster, copied with a cheap nickel copier, terrier in the slightly-skewed picture on the sheet. The "C" was in caps. And no name of the dog. No phone number. Just a sad, silent plea.

And I looked, thought "Aww, sad." Then read the last line and just about fell over. Then supported myself on weak knees as it processed that there was not dog name or phone number.

And for that instant, I don't think I've been that sad in a very, very long time.

So I share with you.

I'll be in the area again next Tuesday and will get a pic if it's still there. I hope to God I just missed something and my memory fails me in sorrow and there was contact information on that poster.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Stupid Shit I Bitch About

This morning I woke up in a state. Grumpy. Angry. Well...hungover a bit to tell you the truth. It was 5:30am. But worse off for the media I imbued during the first 30 minutes of my morning.

I saw the Orbitz Valet commercial. And that killed me. Originally, it went like this:

"Ah, the Hernandez ...'s ...ez"

Brilliant! Hilarious! But apparently someone phoned in and pissed in someone's ear and the commercial I saw this morning went "Ah, the Hernandez's."

Who the fuck ruined that comedy moment? Fuck them!

And then I turned the channel to Headline News and caught the end of a story of some foul, stupid shit where the reporter stated:

"Some Santas are dropping their jokes that bad kids will be getting socks for Christmas. The kids are actually asking for socks in this economy, not video game systems, asking for library cards..."

Asking for library cards? What the fuck place do they live in? What the fuck kids are they talking about? Where did they find the humility that they're reporting on?

What kid is humble to ask for socks? Even if they're barefoot, they're still asking for a fucking Xbox360, begging for a PS3, living on the dream of a DSi. Most kids would eat cardboard while standing barefoot on glass to play a solid video game system.


What kid is asking Santa for a fucking library card? THEY'RE FREE!!! Kick Santa in the nads and ask Mom or Dad to take you to the library for your FREE fucking card!

Jeez. Sorry. It was a bad morning.

Continue rocking. Nothing to see here...