Friday, March 11, 2011

Unfortunate Shark Logo

Squint a little then ask why Shark wants to steam your vag.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Wisconsin: Template for the Fall of America

Every time I think Republicans can get no lower, I am not surprised when they beat out my expectation and take another dip. What happened in Wisconsin yesterday was a swan dive straight into hell.

Here's how it went down:
  • Gov. Walker takes power, immediately gives corporations big tax cuts.
  • Gov. Walker suddenly has a money problem.
  • Gov. Walker & Repubs craft "budget" bill that strips public employee unions of right to collectively bargain (gov't control of wages, basically).
  • Gov. Walker shouts to the heavens that it is about the budget, not about busting unions.
  • Union workers protest over proposed bill.
  • Senate Democrats realize if they all leave, there will be no quorum, no vote, and bill cannot pass.
  • Senate Democrats must leave the state and shack up in Illinois because Gov. says he could "compel" them to the capitol (Read: worst episode of Cops evar)
  • Workers continue protest.
  • Gov. takes fake "Koch" call, reveals he is underhanded goon, wants to trick Dems into coming back.
  • Gov. says It's about the budget!
  • Gov. discusses bounty hunters to get the Dems back.
  • THEN: Breaking the legally-binding meeting rules, Republicans strip the bill of spending (therefore don't need a quorum) and pass the bill without Democrats.

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Yes, the same Republicans who look at the health care bill as being shoved down their throats just practiced some of the most dirty, underhanded, illegal politics ever seen. These are not just crafty, clever, or manipulative elected officials - these are terrible people who lied, cheated, and finally weaseled their way through to breaking the unions for the *sole purpose* of decimating a source of finance for the Democratic Party and sticking their middle finger up the ass of the American Public Employee.

Doc Thompson in for Glenn Beck skimmed over the video of the committee vote and lied to his listeners, saying there was a Democrat from the Senate who came back (It was a House Democrat presenting rules). Rush Limbaugh managed to call teachers lazy bums and protesters bullying mobs in the first couple minutes.

And the best thing to see is the people in Wisconsin get PISSED. Someone better. These are the first dominoes in the Republican master plan of Corporate Wealth-ocracy ruling over the proles. If you're not in Ohio or Idaho - where it's already happened - and not in Wisconsin, keep the TV on. It's coming. And if you're not part of a union? Head over your shoulder, there - you're next.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Vans to Burn and Eat You (Dragons!)

Awwww hellyeah. I got some ass-kickin' dragon van murals, baby. Day gonna heat you up, chew you up and -- okay, I'll shut up now. I don't even know if that was a dialect or not. Here's your vans:

Dragon Van Air Fight
Dragon Fight!

Dragonized Van
Dragonized Van gonna eat you!

Crazy Dragon Fire Van
"It's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker.'"

Lucky Soap Party?
I don't know what the hell this is, but I guess it looks kinda like a dragon? Even though it's Lucky Sea Story? (maybe short for seagulling?)

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

STOP the Lies About Offshore Drilling!

I know that in Sean Hannity's superlative wet dream, God comes down from the Heavens to his second home - the USA - and cracks the crust of the Earth all about us to extract oil, pitch it in perfect drums and place it on the White House lawn.

Yay! Oil independence from the rest of the world! We win because of Jesus! Unicorns farting rainbows abound!

The sad truth is that even if we open up ALL drilling EVERYWHERE in the USA, we probably wouldn't see a whole lot of change, let alone energy independence.

Here's a short short version of how the process goes:
  • Oil Drilling Company contacts the USA government and says "We think there's oil here."
  • US grants them exploratory rights.
  • After a few years, studies are concluded, and the Oil Drilling Company has found something viable. They purchase lease rights and plop down a few billion for a drilling rig.
  • Crude magic happens, pumping, barreling, etc.
  • Oil Drilling Company sells it to an Oil Refining Company or refines it themselves.
  • Refining company splits crude into the most viable end products, sells some down the line, sells fuel to a Gasoline Company.
  • Gasoline company sells to affiliates.
  • We put gas in our car.

And here's why the right wing rhetoric of "US drilling = Energy Independence" = Bullshit
  • Drilling rights only put a little bit of coin in USA's pocket.
  • (We do NOT own the oil that comes from our land.)
  • Oil Drilling Companies sell their crude to an Oil Refining Company at the best price they can get.
  • Refining companies sell their products (gasoline) for the best price they can get.

The Entire Argument is Anathema to All Conservatism!
The only reason we talk about countries like Saudi Arabia as "oil-rich" is because they have government-run oil companies (we have a reserve because at some point the government bought up a shitload and put it in a garage somewhere). If the USA wanted to own the oil drilled on our land, they would need to create drilling, refining, and gasoline companies all owned by the governemnt - in order to remove ourselves from the much-lauded "free-market" system for a controlled price of oil - and ignore any sort of fair bidding to potential service providers.

But the additional problem here is that even if, in my opening paragraph, God came down and turned every drop of oil into gasoline, we wouldn't have that much. I mean, sure, we'd have a lot, but it would be finite.

The Bigger Argument

The bigger problem we're facing with Big Oil is that it is, precisely, big oil. And it acts like it is infinite. But it is NOT. And one day, Hannity's SUV is going to run out of gas and he won't have enough money to buy more (if there is any more).

I understand that Conservo-Repubs are in the pocket of the corporations, but open your eyes! Drilling here will do NOTHING. Eventually it will all run out. That's why we use the word "sustainable." It will hurt you too.

So why are conservative folks arguing against renewable energy when their current fav is going to eventually leave them poor before going away? It's not totally cost-effective yet but that's because it's relatively new. Do they truly want the rich to get richer? Are they looking for a global epidemic of destruction? Can they not wean from the reach-around they get from Oil Companies? Do they enjoy their nipples rubbed with baby oil?

Let me put forth two options:
  1. In the USA, we take a sober look at gasoline and alternative energies and slowly transition as quickly as possible.
  2. In the USA, we ignore the warning signs, play along with "all is good here" and one day it spikes and then runs out. Millions - billions - die in the chaos.

#2 will happen to much of the world (hehe #2). It's going to take someone everyone else calls crazy to see the reality and perhaps just save the lives of millions.

Thank you President Obama.

Monday, March 07, 2011

Middle East DoubleNewSpeak Headache

I was listening to some nondescript AM dial goon today and heard the same thing we've been hearing from the right since Egypt erupted, and now Lybia:

Just because you don't care for a dictator and in the scheme of things they're kind of a horrible person, not-so-friendly to US interests, plenty of human rights violations, bit of a ego-douchebag does NOT mean you can just go in there and take him out. We have no right to force our design or opinions on them. What about the stability of the Middle East? Who's going to move into power? What about our ties with Israel? What about the oil for chrissakes?

Oh, wait. No. Sorry. That was my sentiment before we invaded Iraq. (I'd add Afghanistan, but that was kind of a fucksmack of a whole country because we thought one dude was hiding there and we can't even fart in the direction of Saudi Arabia.)

I guess the fact that they sound so similar is proof positive that we don't really want brown people to have freedom or liberty. We just want to sell them bombs.