Thursday, January 20, 2011

Do the Potty Dance

You will hate me, but it must be seen.

Michelle Obama is Killing More People than Obesity

Your first reaction: Are you fucking serious? Yes. Yes I am. Here's the article insinuating that Michelle Obama's Let's Move program is to blame for an increase in pedestrian deaths. Because when you get out there and are active, that means more people can hit you with their cars while they're not getting fit.

(Personally, I'd maybe, just perhaps, posit a secondary source: a shitty economy & jobs situation. No money for gas = walky-walky when you'd normally drivey-drivey.)

No, but there's more!

First off, I don't think she should've been talking about Barack like that in front of kids.

So before I even read the article about car accidents, I keyed into this:

Do you see it? Perhaps this will help:

Yes, the original logo looks like it's plowing into someone upside-down. And if I can see that in .5 seconds, how did everyone on the graphics team miss it?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

House Republicans Win Victory for Shallowness

House voted to repeal Healthcare Bill!

Of course, the Senate won't even vote on it and even if they did, Obama would veto it.

Sounds like a bunch of drunk college freshmen on their first St. Patrick's Day, just after Kegs N Eggs shouting "Yeah, and we'll tell the President of the University that books shouldn't cost so dang much! That'll show 'em!"

Except that few people at this point think repeal should be a major focus.

So now that the "We don't really have any ideas" of the new Republican rule of the House has been fully-realized, what's next? Revisit the Obama birth cert?

Dude, this is Whack

Told ya.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Driving Libs Crazy #18

Here's the goons #18:
Start a rumor:
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner is the only person known to have had extensive plastic surgery to make himself look uglier. Sick to death of being admired for his beauty and not his economic brains, Tim "Baywatch" Geithner (as he used to be known) paid over $259,000 to have his face surgically re-constructed to resemble that of the sniggering cartoon character Beavis (from Beavis and Butthead). This lends a poignant twist to his nomination last year as one of People magazine's top 50 beautiful people. Originally, this was ascribed to the fact that Geithner's brother is a vice president at People. In fact, however, it was a tribute by those who remembered just how crazily handsome Geithner used to be. Geithner, however, has no regrets. "The way women used me—it was disgusting. I was nothing more than a piece of meat to them."

Hahaha! Because someone's appearance is way more funny than ...actually ...fighting ideas. :(

Haven't some on the right eviscerated us on the left for physical character analysis? Even though Rush talked about Tip like Jabba the Hutt in '84?

So next time someone on the right accuses you of an ad hominem attack, please throw this in their faces.

With Conservatives, Stupid Sticks

President Hu of China stopped by D.C. today to have a meeting with Obama and let him know - wink wink nudge nudge - that they and Walmart will eventually crush us and if that doesn't work, the army they have will do it physically, though many of them are only 9, but hey, if they can make our Nike's and fuck our tourists, by gum they can shoot a shoddy rifle!

Seriously, though, Matt Drudge thought it important that his headline link to an article about how China's going to rule the world. But Matt did something MUCH more interesting; he used this image as the headline:

You may recall that the conservatards on the teevee and the ay-aym were hard at work to spread the word that the Nuclear Security Summit in D.C. in 2010 was not only going to take away all our nukes, but that the logo itself was like one of those Islamic moons (not an abstract atomic model, not at all).

So Matt Drudge has created an ignorant conservative propaganda night terror: Obama (they're gonna take our guns and democracy), China (they're gonna take our jobs and financial stability - hey, let's go to Walmart), "Red dragon" (Godless communists gonna take our Pledge), Nuclear disarmament reminder (they're gonna take our nukes), and ...something about Islam (they're gonna take our Christianity). And Obama's head is slightly bowed! OMG! He's already surrendering!

If this man knows what he's doing, he is horrifying. Sweet dreams.

Van Extravaganza: Scary to Magnificent!

It's almost Wednesday...

Makes me feel dirty

This too, though clearly a 'shop. '70's all over, bad "spraypaint" job.


Triple wolf howl with huge ...well, at least you know who's doin' the rapin'.

I am blinded by the magnificence of moon-howling wolf, wizard, and unicorn. Seriously, if there is a sworded warrior, dragon, and scantily clad woman on the other side it would be tangible awesome on four wheels, a gift from the gods themselves.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Sarah Palin Battle Hymn

This will pain your heart, soul, and mind. I'm sorry, but it must be seen.

She's a cold blast from Alaska
Ingrained with common sense
She's not a Harvard lawyer
But she knew what the Founders meant
A cold blast from the north
That freezes Congress in their tracks
With God and the Tea Party
She's gonna take it back

Sarah Palin, she won't listen to their bunk
Sarah Palin's comin' south to hunt some skunk
Sarah Palin, she'll throw them all in jail
And when she gets to Washington
It'll be cold as hell

Sarah has the wisdom
To walk through an open door
She is stomping out the wretches
Where the evil lines are stored
She will scrub the floors and sweep the riff raff into cracks
With God and the Tea Party
She's gonna take it back


Congress patted themselves on the back
For some new bill they just passed
I watch as my freedom slowly runs through an hourglass
They think they spend our money better than we do
But they can talk until they're blue and old
'Cause if they ever gave us anything
They always wanted something in return
Sarah knows.

Sarah's marching home

(h/t Crooks & Liars)

YouTube says our vocalist is Gary McVay, which might be the owner of Gloryland Recording Studio and while I'm guessing it's not, wouldn't it be funny if writer Tom Dempsey way actually MO State Senator Tom Dempsey?

UPDATE: If you want to see some crazy, check out Ralph's comment. If you want to see a whole tub of batshit nutty going back to '06, click the link to his blog. It's not gimmicky or infuriating, simply incoherent insanity.

Americans are NOT Stupid

Your brain will hurt.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Makin' Libs Crazy #16

You may have read my last post on 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy. Well, I've had little to report because most of them are stupid as you can imagine. But today's a slow day and they're at #16 already:
On his birthday (January 17), quote Benjamin Franklin: "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Tell your liberal friends Franklin was referring to government-controlled health care.

Hahaha, those - wait, what?
Two points here:
  1. The quote can't even be bent around or shoehorned into healthcare with a crowbar. There is no essential liberty being lost, nor temporary safety gained.
  2. Us crazy liberals have been using this quote since just after 9/11 when Prez Bush used fear and terror to push through the Patriot Act which took a chunk out of our civil liberties with the promise that it was necessary to beat the terrorists.

This, once again, expresses how selectively ignorant of history the conservatives in America are, and how they proudly shout it from the rooftops.