Friday, June 26, 2009

Hello, I Must Be Going - Vacation to July 6th

Now don't get all weepy on me. I know, I know. It'll be hard for a while. But you'll get over it. C'mon, you won't even know I'm gone. You'll ease into it and just when you're feeling okay about my absence... Then BAM-motherfucker I'm all back up in your face with geek shit and van murals and political snark. Shazam!

Have a good one and I'll be writing at you soon.

Weird Email

amq xwxe lhxgas mkkwvo qhok
(Aksel Chavez to me)

mqv wxe positlhxion
ashmkthe wvorpart
you hok by mwl
youvjfayme yrefrom toyptart.
Illbedojll beahefore ohl.
bejzk pounceamqvpony.
lhx filashmklsmy wvor.
a punhokch toy vomwllunteer kvjfaynee.
is yrealu waoypnt tohdojllear
aahend aohlyou wjzksee.

It is not spam, at least not in the sense of trying to trick me into opening it or buying something or even clicking to a spammy site.

Message from the aliens? Secret cryptic from a spy? What do you make of it?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Rush's Talent for Twisting the Truth: Hypocrisy is GOOD!

Today I was in the car for 15 minutes. And in those 15 minutes I heard Rush Limbaugh push the foulest of verbal buffalo diarrhea out his maw.

Rush was discussing South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and the fact that his affair was an act of hypocrisy - according to the Democrats.

But Rush declared that hypocrisy in and of itself is actually a good thing. Why is hypocrisy a good thing? Because by definition it proves that morality still exists! And therefore (it was implied), Gov. Mark Sanford was actually doing a great service to our country. Unlike those evil, godless Democrats who exercise moral relativism.
Hold on a second - this requires a sidenote:

Moral Relativism is a broad term 90% of Rush's audience wouldn't comprehend. It basically means: depending on the circumstances [i.e., subjectivity], the same action can have different moral implications. Rush's implication is that there is an objective morality, which would be fine if there were. The use of the phrase is to elicit a fat response on the general liberal dichotomy of "killing is bad" and the right for a woman to choose whether or not she has a child. Unfortunately, on our side, the "beginning of life" is not religion-bound. Also unfortunately, the right wing says that killing for war and killing for self-defense is okay. So if their definition of ending a life is dependent on circumstance, that falls directly into the definition of moral relativism. Red herring.

Rush is brilliant but he chooses to use his powers for evil, to distort reality, to make Democrats and liberals seem like a moral disaster while Republicans and conservatives deal with the same dichotomies every day.

Allow me to return to the main topic at hand: the Governor of South Carolina disappeared for seven days, let no one know where he was (at least as what is admitted publicly), and flew to a foreign country to shack up with his lady-friend. Forget the infidelity issue, forget the foreign-soil fuck-fest. This is a State (and potentially National) Security issue. If anything happened in SC while he was gone, anything serious, it would have been a bureaucratic disaster.

The issue, Rush, is not about hypocrisy. It is about one of your fav topics: national security. So where is that rant?

This post is not to say that right-wing radio is being biased. It is that right-wing radio is doing harm.

And yet I would fight - every day of the week - against any "equal time" legislation. If you can hear the filth of morons on a daily basis, wouldn't you want their rants and ideologies out there for the pickins?

Let me know your thoughts.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Van Mural Wednesday: Spaceman Wins!

Spaceman Van Mural

I love it when the spaceman wins!

For the record, there is an absurd abundance of Star Wars van art. I know I have already posted one such example, but this might require a special edition that I will compose for next week.

FYI, I'm #1 and #2 for bad van mural on Google. WTF? FTW!

Wednesday Round-up (UPDATED)

Not a regular feature (or is it?). Just Wednesday.

Obama Still Smokin'

President Obama still has the occasional cigarette. Hey, me too. All the Repubs are still using the messianic language as a mockery. I think this flaw in particular makes him more human. Though I'm still pissed about the FDA legislation.

Jon & Kate Split

Yes, I watched the episode. In the above link, Kate says "It feels like I failed." Good, dear. You did. When they announced it, I all but jumped up off the couch and cheered that Jon was distancing himself from that poison energy and giving himself a chance to find out who he was again.

Sleepy Tattoo Face

If you missed the story, the above chicky came home with 56 stars tattooed on her face, her pops flipped his shit and she told him she only asked for 3 stars and fell asleep and woke up with 56. Oh Noes! International media coverage ensues. She sticks and sticks and this week finally confesses she asked for 56 stars and changed her story when daddy got angry. I believe everyone already knew that.

But it didn't help that the tattoo artist looks like this:

I'm not even kidding.

Where in the World is S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford?

As of right now, he's back in good ol' SC. Two days ago, when he'd been missing for 5 days and completely incommunicado, the staff said he was hiking the Appalachian Trail. That is, the trail he didn't want stimulus money to fix and a hike that corresponded with National Hike Naked day, all over Father's Day Weekend.

Then today he returned ...from Argentina. Ooh, of course. Buenos Aries, that all-popular last-minute destination of so many disappearing politicians. I'm guessing 1) we have not heard the last of this story and 2) Marky Mark isn't going to be running for Prez in '12.

UPDATE: Marky Mark has admitted to an affair, revealing he went to Argentina with a lady that was not his wife. Sur-prize, sur-prize!


It appears Iranian citizens are still protesting pretty strongly despite the crackdown and violence against them. N. Korea is getting feisty and wingin' threats at the Good ol' US of A. Keep an eye on these two. We might be in store for some serious shit before the 4th of July holiday weekend (and pay SPECIAL attention then - that's when politicians get hinky because they think you're not paying attention)

Armani is Suddenly Stupid

Okay, okay, be on your way now. Nothing else to see here. Except a van mural. But that's after lunch.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Yes, Another Video: Cleveland Burb Pro-Star Lucky Shot

Jizz In My Pants

Today's just the video day, I guess. Totally random, guys. We can call it Video Monday or Movie Monday or something like that if it makes you feel good about putting this blog into a box but just know that I'm unique and that's what makes me different and you can't put me into a box - I don't even have a box, man! Oh, el-oh-el. Whatevs.

Sorry. Channeling some hybridization of my alternateen days with that of my daughter's beginning revolt. Weird.

But this video isn't weird. It's hilarious. From The Lonely Island's debut album "INCREDIBAD," I give you "Jizz in My Pants."

Read a Book - Bomani Armah

I heard this artist/song on the French station Sirius 87 Bandeapart. That is because American radio sucks a left nut unless you want to lick on Hanna Montana. Trust me; it is in English and it is brilliant.

It begins: "Read a book, read a book, read a motherfuckin' book..."
(semi-racy animation with rap-level cussin')

Bomani's official site is

I will be spending tomorrow's "not work" time getting to know him better.

JibJab and Barack Obama

All love for JibJab. They've still got it.

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