Saturday, May 14, 2011

Cum Bubbles & Cat Pee: Ah, the Smells of Spring!

I've already written about the natural odors of semen and cat piss that accost me every Spring, so I won't got into all the details of self-discovery, but here's the skinny:


This time of year I am overwhelmed with the smell of feline urine, like a poorly maintained litter box, and in this weather it's like a poorly maintained litter box in a warm, damp basement. I have discovered it comes from the Juniper, the fuzzy-looking bush that can grow narrow and tall or low and creeping. And I am apparently one of the very few people whose nose so knows the smell in quite that way. I've found about half a dozen online, but my family thinks I'm a little mad because they don't sense a thing.

Bradford Pear Tree
Bradford Pear

And every once in a while, if I'm lucky, I get a chance to whiff something familiar, though not something you'd expect while walking about or driving, like getting my nose rubbed into a wet dream: semen. This comes from the Bradford Pear Tree, and appears to be a much more common recognition than the Juniper cat pee connection.

So there you go. That's my olfactory experience of Spring. Every year. Yum!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Guns, Guns, Guns!

Hey, if you've got a good blog and I don't TOTALLY disagree with you and you're not trying to spam, and have something relevant for me to share with my readers, I'm happy to do it. Yay!

So today we've got and Mike B talks, for the most part, about gun control - and our need for more. That makes me happy. And he's been at it since '08! Nice.

So take a look at his place, see what you think, comment there, comment here.

Incidentally, the title of this post is the title of an audio parody I'm working on for a gun show commercial. Seriously, folks: gun shows - WTF?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Miller Lite Thunder Thighs!

So I was on Pandora today and when it stopped after my Death Cab and I went to the window to click Yes, I'm Still Listening, I saw this:

Haha, okay, so silly Miller Lite - OH MY GOD! What in the name of all things holy?! From whence comes the flesh, woman? Whence?

Because I saw this: Either my graphics background kicked in or I've got a thing for ladies with giant, muscular thighs. Or, something.

People Teeth in a Fish

This is a sheephead.

Aah! People teeth!

Deer in the Headlights

Levi Johnston's new book cover has been released.

And I so wish I were joking. I am not.