Saturday, January 17, 2009

Bruce Wilson - First Homophobe, then...Hitler?

I stayed out of the conversation when it first began about Bruce Wilson - and his ideas about turning gay people straight - being the voice of the opening prayer before the Presidential Inauguration. I vehemently disagree with the man on both a scientific and ideological basis on that topic, but ban him from the inauguration? Jesus himself reached out to misguided fools, why not Obama (hold the bus, Gus: I'm not saying Obama is Jesus or even holy)?

[I'm pretty curious where the outrage is over there being a prayer at all. What does God and Jesus have to do with the political process of swearing in a President? Why does the swearing in happen on a Bible? Tradition? Slavery was a tradition but Barack won't be shackled. Why not swear on your own heart?]

But now, in my opinion, Bruce Wilson has pushed the line of what I would consider questionable, misguided belief and turned it all the way around to negligible, hateful ignorance. He says that if American Christians could be as dedicated to God as the Hitler Youth were dedicated to Hitler that - wait, what? Really? Holy shit.

But don't take my word for it. Huff's got the video:

This is were we bring out the Bo Peep crook and pull that bastard off the stage. Now.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Weather Outside, It's Frightful

Hey, that's snow!

It is pretty dang cold here in Cincinnati. My Weather Channel widget says 12 F, and wind chill is about -3 F.

Note to all news media:

I understand that things are a little dry news-wise until Obama's start next week, with about 1000 dead in Gaza and us still sending Americans to die in Iraq and Afghanistan, but please keep in mind that during Winter months it gets fucking cold. Surprise! It's mid January and it's fucking freezing. Shit! Just like last year and the year before that and, well, as far back as I can remember. Why? It's winter! And it won't go away until March - or May if you live in Cleveland.

So take the icicle out of your puckered asshole, take a breath, and stop making everyone so batshit crazy over something that's normal.

And don't even get me started on the OMG-it's-cold anti global warming asshats. Yeah, Drudge, I'm talkin' to you.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Flavors of Nigeria, Direct Response Email

Once, a while back, I tried to have some public fun with spam scams. Unfortunately, it was a fail as I was apparently too boisterously excited about getting more information and did not get a response back. The mouse did not keep moving so I could whack it again.

Since I don't have the time or energy to craft a response letter that is invigorated by the prospect of free money yet not too over-the-top, I've been going with a different tack.

Today I got this email:

I am Dr. Garrett Kenneth, a member of independent committee of eminent person {icep} and I wish to notify you that You can be listed as Heir to the total sum of (Twelve million six hundred thousaund United states dollars) in the codicil and last testament of the deceased. I contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore can present you as the Heir to the inheritance funds.

I therefore reckoned that you could receive these funds as you are qualified by your name identity. All the legal papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to me your letter of acceptance; your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable me file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money.

Please indicate your interest immediately for us to proceed. I shall feed you with full details of this transaction and my particulars upon receipt of your reply towards this proposal.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Faithfully,
Dr. Garrett Kenneth.

What a douche. "independent committee of eminent person {icep}"? Seriously? It shows me "Dr. Garrett Kenneth (" for the email, but reply-to is set at "" (feel free to spam the bastard), and is an India email website.

Anyway, my past replies to these emails (Yes, I reply to every one) have been very simple and focused and along the lines of "May the pain you inflict be visited upon you tenfold." If nothing else, I'm looking at curse psychology and the quite suffering of someone with a conscience.

Today I was feeling a little randy and replied with:
I hope you are gang-raped by a pack of wild, syphilitic hyenas and slowly eaten alive when they are done.

And I think I've already put together my next one:
As Jesus once said: Go fuck yourself until you bleed to death.


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Sorry for the Gap

I've been working non-stop on my business over the last few days, redesigning the site, extending myself on social networks, and extending those social networks the way the need to be extended.

Which is why I've been a bit absent.

Not that that's a good excuse for you, my fair reader, but perhaps a reasonable explanation.

And for that, your patience, you get my man purse, also known as a "murse:"

Ricky Shambles Man Purse

Yeah, you love it.

Okay, maybe not that great. How about my fav?

rave kid pukes

Now that's love.

Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage

I was hoping so badly that this was real. Even the website is well done - by that I mean appropriate - for what it's supposed to be.

Alas, the site is hosted by Big Dog Eat Child, a sketch comedy troupe.

Keep it real Jones. Keep it real.