McCain's "New Attack Ad"

Headzup is bloody brilliant.

McCain's The One Ad: Misdirected?

Asshat McCain has apparently gone the way of Mike Church. Here's the ad everyone's talking about.



But in an effort to make a caricature out of "Messianic" Obama, it's only the far right that will have a chuckle at it. And near the end, in an apparent pushing of the lampoon, they basically call Obama Moses by showing a clip of The Ten Commandments. And after portraying Barack Obama as savior and leader of all Israelites, they ask if he's ready to lead.

Well, you just showed him leading all the Israelites out of Egypt and parting the Red Sea. He can probably handle sitting at a desk, planning, and talking to people.

And while I'm certain that when McCain saw this ad he did his SNL Pat creepy "dontcha-thinkits-funny" chuckle, this is yet another testament (hehe) to the fact that Republicans do not understand "funny," satire, or any facet of comedy. And that, "my friends," is hilarious.

McCain's "Character"

Even while not listening to talk radio, I get Media Matters newsletters and some right-wing trash in my inbox. And while the right wing continues to pummel Obama on imagined hyperbole, they all flaunt the Character of McCain with a capital C.

Let's remember the Keating Five for a minute, a Savings and Loan scandal that cost millions in tax and investment dollars:

Keating's relationship with McCain came under particularly intense press scrutiny. McCain and Keating had become personal friends following their initial contacts in 1981. Between 1982 and 1987, McCain had received $112,000 in lawful political contributions from Keating and his associates. In addition, McCain's wife Cindy McCain and her father Jim Hensley had invested $359,100 in a Keating shopping center in April 1986, a year before McCain met with the regulators. McCain, his family, and their baby-sitter had made nine trips at Keating's expense, sometimes aboard Keating's jet. Three of the trips were made during vacations to Keating's opulent Bahamas retreat at Cat Cay. McCain did not pay Keating (in the amount of $13,433) for some of the trips until years after they were taken, when he learned that Keating was in trouble over Lincoln.

And while we're at it, how about a mention of John's first wife. A car accident "left her 4 inches shorter and on crutches, and she had gained a good deal of weight." Extra-marital affairs ensued. Then, while still married, he met Cindy:

McCain described their first meeting, "She was lovely, intelligent and charming, 17 years my junior but poised and confident. I monopolized her attention the entire time, taking care to prevent anyone else from intruding on our conversation. When it came time to leave the party, I persuaded her to join me for drinks at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. By the evening's end, I was in love."

While still married to Carol, McCain began an adulterous relationship with Cindy. He married Cindy in May 1980 -- just a month after dumping Carol and securing a divorce. The newlyweds honeymooned in Hawaii.

This is all apparently okay with a Republican base and colleagues who went batshit crazy over a blowjob.

McCain's Oil Lobbyists

Hope: It Could Happen to You

Winner "Funniest" for Obama in 30 Seconds contest and potential first political ad seen on MTV for this election cycle. The other option is John McCain lying about a bunch of shit.

Which brings in the real question: can McCain even play for the MTV crowd? Does the man who yells at the kid to get off his lawn get the kid's vote?

McCain's Geography

For those of you unaware of some of the nuance of the geography of the Middle East,



...Iraq and Pakistan do not, in fact, actually touch.

Cicadas..Just Kidding: Politics!

So last night we were looking, waiting to see if Hillary would drop out and she said "Hells no!" Barry-O was to be graceful in supposed victory and he's all "I will be the Democratic candidate fo sho." And John McCain, completely in line with what we have all come to expect, was a lying douchebag.

Let's do a quick rehash using some demonstrative images from their respective speeches.

John McCain



McCain, with his background, now apparently represents the Green Party. But the real star of the show was Smilin' John's Shit-Eating Grin. The speech itself was angering and unenlightening:

• Democrats are baaaaad and hate America
• I love America and won't let'em ruin it
• Show off the wooden teeth and allow the automatons applaud
• Rinse off the poop and repeat.

It was lack of vision, lack of substance, lack of character.

Barack Obama



Expectedly, Obama pulled the necessary delegates and the media drooled and jizzed all over the story and coverage. His speech was strong, decisive, and inspiring. And that's what got him where he is.

I guess the Obama staffers were in a rush to portray the pale white support that Obama has because - I know it's not as good a shot as the television - they had represented everything from strawberry blonde to deep auburn. That's right, Barack Obama has the full support of the redhead coalition:


And finally... Hillary Clinton



Hillary, while a bit reserved in her speech, was overshadowed by her supporters. As opposed to the Obama Redhead Alliance, she was able to pull in a few African-Americans, a questionably Indian gentleman, white men, and the token homosexual male in yellow stripes pictured here.

The best part of the entire speech was immediately after this image was taken: Mr. Flamboyant was optioned by the African-American on his left, at which time his exuberance flatlined and he mouthed "what?" His leash tightened, he was at heel within seconds.

Estimation of the conversation of Hillary supporters behind her back:

Stripes: Woohoo! Yeah! Hillary 4-ev-R!
Dignified African-American (DAA): Dude!
DAA: Dude!!!
Stripes: What?
DAA: You're on fucking national television. Behave yourself.
Stripes: Really? You're --
DAA: Do you want Hillary to lose?
Stripes: Um...no.
DAA: Behave.
Stripes:Um...okay.

Yet Obama still wins...until the convention. Crazy bullshit in play, much politicking to go around, and Batshit McCain to spread more lies. I think we have a long way to go.

Rambling: Can Democrats Avoid Criticism?

As my always disclaimer states, I am not a fan of Republicans, but neither am I a mouthpiece for Democrats. I will vote Democrat in November.

That said, we've got Obama's new reason for being attacked:

You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate, and they have not. So it's not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

Okay, this one doesn't need much background and can't really be explained away. The statement is angering because it's true. It terribly fucking true. I'm listening to Sean Hannity rail right now, How dare anyone claim that the great people of the United States of America are anything less than perfect!

But we are far from perfect. Obama said it concisely: Americans feel helpless because of continually being let down by their elected officials, because of seeing the economy fall apart, because of $4.00/gal gas and they can't do it anymore, they can't feel like they can control anything or have impact on how things are run, so they take refuge in things they can control: their religion, their beliefs, their hate. That's how mob mentality gains a foothold and the last refuge for learned helplessness (which I will attack in my next post).

But people - especially people who he is talking about - don't want to hear it; people like Sean Hannity who make their career on making themselves out to be the salt of the Earth like every good, hard-working, abused, and down-trodden American won't hear of it. Because from the Republican perspective, hard-working Americans with low-paying jobs in small towns are tough-livin' freedom fighters, but hard-working Americans with low-paying jobs in urban areas are lazy porch monkeys who don't know how to better themselves.

So Obama said something true about Middle America and everyone's outraged. I don't think he should've said it, but he did. He deserves to hear about it, but not from the angle that right-wing radio's running.

On the other hand, we've got Hillary doing shots in a bar in order to "connect" with Middle America. Crown Royal, to be specific. There are a very few points to make on this drinking op:

• Most Middle Americans do not buy Crown Royal because it's a touch fucking expensive. They drink Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, and Wild Turkey. Perhaps even Paramount or another well brand. I drink Jameson, but that's because I'm an elitist prat who's not simply scraping by.


• Crown Royal is not an American, but Canadian, whiskey. (It's better than American whiskeys because America has a rule that does not allow the aging of liquor in previously-used barrels; Crown Royal is aged in oak barrels previously used to age cognac, enriching and complicating the flavor.)

This incident is not a huge deal, but I've heard many a parody today on the right side of the dial.

So Hillary, in trying to connect to Middle America, was unable to get it 100% right.

I guess I'm tired of hearing all this prattle about our Democratic candidates on poor word choice or whiskey choice or church choice or gun choice. John McCain being elected will lead directly to the deaths of thousands of Americans and thousands of non-Americans, if not just in Iraq and Afghanistan, then in Iran, and maybe a couple other countries that could exacerbate the rest of the world balance, knocking us into a World War with ...well, everybody.

To the right: shut up about the nuance; the only true threat to our freedom is the possible election of John McCain.

Political Snypa: Intimidation, Under Fire

I am troubled.

I'm all for either Hillary or Obama over Maddog McCain, but the back-and-forth insanity of negative campaigning and which Democratic candidate is less desirable is starting to grate on my nerves. In my opinion, attacks on Clinton and Obama by the right wing and each other have been blown out of proportion.

And then this happened:

In a March 17 speech, Clinton said, "I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."

That account was still posted on her campaign Web site yesterday.
Clinton told CNN last week, "There was no greeting ceremony, and we basically were told to run to our cars. Now, that is what happened."

WTF? I'm not by any means trying to push an agenda, but I find this disheartening. There is a HUGE fucking difference between the-

Story: Under sniper fire and at the risk of my own an my daughter's life, we ran from the plane, ducked down, and hurried into the armored vehicles.

and the Reality: We waltzed off the plane, sans body armor, with motherfucking Sinbad, and listened to a little girl recite a poem.

I cannot reconcile the two. I cannot believe that is mis-remembering - two separate times misremembering and misremembering again when she authorized that it go up on the website. I do believe when she talks about sleep deprivation clouding her judgment, it was not her memory that was clouded, but the thought process that would have censored her and said in her head "Um, don't you think they have video of this? Do you really think you can get away with this story?"

And then this happened:

20 "top fundraisers" for Sen. Hillary Clinton's campaign yesterday "upbraided" House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for suggesting last week that Democratic superdelegates "should back the candidate with the most pledged delegates and urged her to respect the right of those delegates to back whomever they choose at the end of the primary season." The AP reports that in a letter to Pelosi, Clinton's supporters "said superdelegates 'must look to not one criterion but to the full panoply of factors that will help them assess who will be the party's strongest nominee in the general election.'"

The New York Times adds that the letter, "which carried threatening overtones in noting that many signatories were major Democratic donors, highlighted the deepening rift inside the party among supporters for Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama." Roll Call reports the "donors also pointedly noted their own contributions to the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. 'We have been strong supporters of the DCCC. We therefore urge you to clarify your position on super-delegates and reflect in your comments a more open view to the optional independent actions of each of the delegates at the National Convention in August.'"

The theories abound on the right about the crazy strong-arm, knife-fight tactics the Clintons will use to - under any circumstances - secure the nomination. I would like to believe the best candidate, the majority candidate (or Al Gore) will win the nomination. Then her supporters decide to play political meathooks and knock Pelosi around a little bit.

And Hillary Clinton distances herself from the letter while allowing the threat to remain attached to her name.

For this week, I'm a little down on Hillary. And when it's starting to become clear that Obama is like Teflon on the pastor issue (foreshadowing future Teflon...ism), disillusionment of my "support both until the convention" idealism is slowly being revealed like the gummy center of a Blow Pop.

But, for the record, even if the selection rapes the process all to hell, while I'll be angry and rant swear to abundance, either Democratic candidate is better for our country than John McCain. Unless, of course, you fancy a row with Iran?

Updates: Insane McCain and Dead Soldiers

Two quickies to mention:

1. I've added a counter to the left column to keep track of the confirmed American Soldiers who have died since we illegally invaded Iraq in 2003. When we hit five years and then we hit 4000 and the media made a little hiccup and a fart - just slightly offset - and then continued on with their Britney lobotomy monotone drone, I figured bright yellow was appropriate.

2. How Insane is John McCain? I really enjoy this blog. Welcome to Linktastica! my friend!

(UPDATE: Now ultra-alphabetized! After a brief foray into mental ineptitude that had me convinced "How" began with a W, we now have HIIJM in the H's.)

Iraq War Blogswarm - 3-19-08 - 3992

I'm sad to announce that, according to today's count on the Iraq Coalition Casualties website, that we're - on the 5 year anniversary of this illegal war - just 8 dead Americans short of 4000.

That last statement was foul.

If the lives of 8 more Americans were taken, if we had reached 4000, then maybe, just maybe, someone might have taken notice.

Five long years we've been in Iraq, dealing with a literal invasion, now dealing with a literal occupancy. And they still don't want us there. And while McCain lauds the victories while messing up the details, he still says "success," nothing is right.

We're fighting a war with young Americans who eventually want to go home and see their wives or their children, against radicals who will easily give their lives and only hope their children grow up to fight the infidels. How do we fight that war? McCain says: for 100 years.

In reality, it's thousands of American lives. Millions more overall, perhaps.

What we are doing - and will continue to do under a Republican rule - is to spit in the face of God, to eschew peace for military contracts that don't actually benefit our military, to hold policies about our military that don't actually help the men and women "fighting for our country" even when they come home.

I just want to bring those kids home. I want, as Kucinich said, "Strength through peace," not Peace through strength.

And then maybe we can stop the - now inevitable - 5000 American deaths.

God help us all.

Obama Makes Speech in PA, Conservatives Make Doody in Pants

Over the last 20 years, the recently retired pastor of Barack Obama's church, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, has gone a little overboard - from the perspective of many Americans - in a whole hoopla of comments about the generalized and endemic racism inherent in White (Devil) America, Judiasm being an awful religion, and the plight of the Black American. Did Right Reverend Wright say this crap all the time over the several decades he preached at the church? No one knows, but the Right Wing's got about 5 clips that haven't stopped playing on FOX or talk radio for the last 3 weeks.

To make my position clear: the language and ideas used in those excerpts (and I'm serious - turn on the AM dial and you'll hear a montage in 5 minutes or less) is understandably used in an effort to evoke reactionary solidarity amongst the black population of that church, but it is misdirected and divisive and right now it's working directly against what would be one of the beautiful outcomes: get folks fired up and get an African American in the White House.

Is Rev. Wright the same person as Barack Obama? No. Just like Televangelist Rod Parsley is not John McCain:

Senator John McCain hailed as a spiritual adviser an Ohio megachurch pastor who has called upon Christians to wage a "war" against the "false religion" of Islam with the aim of destroying it.

Who's pitching a fit about that one? No one. Why? Because, realistically, we all realize that McCain pretty much believes the same thing.

So today, Barack Obama gave an extensive speech, primarily about race and overcoming our differences, but also to address the limited examples of these words and ideas and to denounce them. And that's what he did.

But the right wingnut radio syndicate is planting steamers in their boxers left and right because OMG he didn't denounce the man; he didn't stand up before the American people and shout at the top of his lungs "You're dead to me!" Dozens of alleged Christians, in their own words, on their own radio programs, are saying he must hate the sin and the sinner, must denounce the words and the man.

In all actuality, Limbaugh and Wilkow and Hannity and the rest are actually shitting themselves because they see this not sticking. And you know what? They're right. The immediate result and interviews and call-ins I heard have this result: those people who would not vote for Barack Obama before are still not going to vote for him. Everyone else is lauding the speech as brilliant and calling out the attacks as ugly politics.

And they're shitting their pants a second time because they realize that if they can't push this hard enough to stick, if they can't get anyone to believe the bullshit line I heard today that "he's falling apart," then they've got a huge problem should he become the nominee: Nothing will stick. (see: He says he denounces it? He's lying! Hussein! Michelle's an Angry Black Woman!)

And this just-about-failed attempt at race-baiting is a clear indication of just how difficult running John "them gooks" McCain against Barack Obama will be: you can only get so positive on McCain, they have no problem practically calling Hillary a "cunt" at this stage of the game, but if they're up against Obama, they're dealing with race. All the time. Because no matter what, they're dealing with an established presumption that Republicans don't like brown people, and if the attack is about race, they'll catch hell, and if it's not about race, it's coming from that direction because they really wanted to attack his race but couldn't.

Time to give up, take a breath, and regroup. Racists.

McSame as Bush

Pulled from Think Progress, and as good as the title.

Giuliani Pulls Out, Impregnates McCain

Happy Birthday to me, and over 2 weeks early! That's right, Rudy Giuliani, the wooden-toothed professional crooner of 9/11 and all-round smug failure is prepared to pull out of the presidential race this very morning before the last Republican debate before Super Bowl Sunday and Super Tuesday. I think that somehow makes today the Ascension of Mary and places Mardi Gras firmly on the biggest primary day of the year, guaranteeing a slight booze shift to the polls and complete confusion amongst the pundits. Again. But I digress.

What could possibly make this better? Irony, of course! Rudy Giuliani will be making this announcement from the Reagan Library (where the debate will later take place), the living symbol of the dry-hump chew toy darling of the Republican Party, in order to endorse Grandpappy McCain, the only Republican running for president who - according to pundits and the talk radio faction and many Repubs - is not a Reagan Republican. Ooh, snap!

But why McCain? I can't wait for Rudy's blah-blah explanation but would like to take a pass on hearing Chris Matthews spout "Maverick" yet again. John McCain is not Tom Cruise or James Garner or Mel Gibson; it's John McCain, not John McClane, Chrissy. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

McCain's playing the game, and he's playing it well, despite his detractors on flip-flopping, inconsistency, and age. He's got Giuliani's support now and there are hints that he's going to help fluff Huckabee through Super Tuesday to keep the votes away from Romney and cinch up the nomination like his momma's corset. Can we smell a McCain Huckabee ticket? Someone light some incense; I think I'm gonna be sick.