Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Phase Dreaming?

I didn't do any research on this, but have you ever had a night of sleep like a surreal nightmare that bled into the real world and vice versa all night long? And no matter how awake you got in the middle of the night you couldn't break it? Yeah, weird.

(Note: I had one night when I woke at 5 or 6 and my nightlight was out and I saw angels - dozens of them, about 9 inches tall - floating around the room. Earliest memory. But I don't consider this the same thing.)

(Note 2: This is kinda long an rambling; don't feel bad to skip it, though it's fucking weird.)



The first time I remember experiencing this, I was probably 10 or so and my dad took me to see a Kent State basketball game. First basketball game I'd ever been to. And it was cool: the cheering, the screaming, the little pom-pom on a stick we got when we entered.

And then I got home and tried to get to bed and a little while later awoke - in the game. It wasn't anything as rational as if I were a player or in the audience, but all at the same time. My top bunk was simultaneously the court and the arena and the few square yards a player was making a jump shot. I was awake, but aware of the vivid, immersive dream I'd just awoken from - and could not let go of. I audibly heard the echoes of of the crowd and the squeaks on the court and all the chaos of noise and - if I remember correctly - caught visual glimpses. I closed my eyes, curled up, tried to make the insanity of it disappear. Then I'd fall into the same dream, then wake up. 3-5 times in one night, always the same. Once or twice I walked out of the room, to the hallway, the bathroom, thinking it would help. It didn't.

And the next day I was fine.

About a year later, I had another phase dream, but much more terrifying because it was so quiet. Imagine those "graboids" from Tremors, but about 12 feet fat and 80 feet long. Now imagine there are thousands of them, dead, rows, stacked 2-3 high on the right and left like hot dogs on a plate, ends pointed at you. Okay, I'll draw a shitty picture.



I tend to stay down the middle, but sometimes, climb the dead husks, which are huge, smelly, dripping, decaying, and covered by ash like everything else. The rows go on forever. This was about 2 years before the movie Tremors came out.

And I'd wake up and still see it and try just to go back to sleep, but it was the same dream, except this one was paired with something so abstract I cannot draw it accurately (even poorly). I can only describe it as a blue, wooden-plank swing going back and forth, back and forth, with some association with the number 1, a penny, and water. Those two were always together, one or the other, and they ran multiple evenings in my childhood around there. I'd wake up and sit in the hallway for hours, not wanting to wake my parents - because what do you say? "Some abstract concept I can't even describe in words is following me from my dreams." - but never being able to shake the phasing of it during the evening hours.


Eventually, I'd fall asleep long enough and the morning would come and it would be gone.

And I haven't had that - maybe vaguely remember once - since that time, about 20 years ago.


So I'm reminded about all this because of last night. I had a series of dreams which, in no particular order, happened like this:

I'm in a high end comic shop and am pushed through a Victorian book to a medium-sized dark mansion full of puzzles controlled by a young girl, probably 11, angry and demonic. I'm made to study the book and run errands to find these things while her younger sister - probably 4 - bounces around excited she has a playmate. Only her younger sister is actually a cracked-faced porcelain doll and I think "I've got to get out of here." I recall escaping and hugging the proprietor of the shop.

I'm at a camping retreat where I'm hanging out with (either or) my brother / best HS friend, and we're with a family that's kind of familiar and I keep panicking because I need to leave and need to go and the family keeps making things more comfortable and making time disappear and I see what they're doing in keeping me there, offering us drinks, relaxation, and it shouldn't be malicious, but it's looking that way which merges into...

I'm hanging out with my brother in a garage / junkyard and this guy is hanging out with us - skinny, weasely guy and he wants us there, keeps threatening us with a knife or something and at one point he goes to check something out and I grab my brother's arm and say "Run!"

I'm a car and sometimes a person driving/walking an odd concrete path under a dilapidated bridge several stories above us, water everywhere, very wind-y with juttings of natural rock coming up to mess up the path. Two men - mid 50's - ahead of me look back and say "it's something, huh?" and I gun it, almost running into a rock. "Woah," one of them says. "Take your time. You want to go that way." And I turn and move to the dock to be with my extended family and my cousin is on a boat passing us and I think "Good for him" while the rest of the family is sad he's not coming with us.

It's Christmas and there should be presents - are there presents? - but it's old carpet and damp and stale everywhere and where is everyone?


And in between an sometimes interrupting those phases, I would awake, and I was still there, still hearing the people, still hearing the noises, and wanting to shake it, but not really aware that I could. I honestly could've gotten up and walked to the bathroom and turned on the light and splashed my face. But part of me didn't know I could and part of me was afraid of leaving the bed.

And then it was morning and the alarm went off and the bits of sleep wore off and I got up and made coffee for the day.

But even then I had this lingering fog. Obviously, it allowed me to remember bits of several dreams. And I think it went away. For now, I guess.

So, um, anyone read this far and ever experience or hear of something like this?

2 comments:

Megan said...

Yep.

Ricky Shambles said...

Best reply evar, Megan :)

I'm perplexed by the phenomenon because I've read books on recording dreams, lucid dreaming, and even the goal of sharing dreams (succeeding in all but the latter). But never the dream that owned your reality. WTF?