Misguided Celebration: Dee Snider

A town in NE Ohio will be renaming itself for one day to celebrate Dee Snider.



Will they be celebrating by showing Strangeland 24-hours straight at the local cinema?

Because I'm so Chipper These Days

via PostSecret.

Christian Tool

And I don't mean Tool like the band.




I prefer the Marilyn Manson Mashup:

In Short: Pam Geller is a Fucking Moron

From Crooks & Liars:

Geller: This is patently untrue. I love Muslims. The Ground Zero mosque is an offensive insult, it's a stab in the eye. I have no problem with mosques across the city. But we're talking about history, and Islamic history, of building triumphal mosques on the cherished sites of conquered lands.

Oh, the fucking mosque again?

Hey, wait, that reminds me of this one thing...you know what I'm talking about? The Christians overtaking every pagan altar in Europe to co-mingle beliefs and eventually convert or silently conquer them? Oh, yeah, and that other time...what was it? Oh, yeah, when Christians came here to find the USA totally uninhabited (except for them injuns) and drove those dark-skinned people out to manifest destiny and get some awesome land - on which they erected churches as a staple of any civilized settlement.

Oh, and it reminds me of that awesome new shirt from T-Shirt Hell that says "Learn to Speak Native American or Get the Fuck Out"

Pam, you are not just ignorant, you are stupid. And as a wise childrens' show host said one time when I was drunk in Toledo at 6am: "Ignorance is just not knowing. That's easy to fix. But stupid? There's no fixin' stupid."

So please stop talking and allow the collective of human intelligence heal for a while.

Bigot Me This...

We knew the gay-hatin' would come out (hehe) with a vengeance today and I was not disappointed. My usual 1 email from right wingy nutters was up to 5 by 3:30, all with one aim: "We want to keep marriage as a bigoted, limited, fairy-tale definition so give us money!"

National Organization for Marriage sent this drivel entitled "Keep Marriage Marriage":

An openly gay judge in San Francisco ruled that the votes and values of over 7 million Californians were to be thrown in the dustbin like so many pieces of dirty paper, that his imperial will trumps the voice of the people.

We expected this outcome, because Judge Walker has telegraphed his bias loud and clear. But the sheer audacity, the sheer ego mania of the decision is startling. One judge versus all of the voters of California, plus the 30 other states that have voted directly to protect marriage. One judge against the simple common sense notion that it takes a man and a woman to make a marriage. And he thinks that this will be the end of it...

But he's wrong. Very wrong. We will fight back, and we will win! This case is no doubt going to the Supreme Court and the National Organization for Marriage will continue to give generously to the Proposition 8 Legal Defense Fund. We've already given $100,000. We were the largest single donor to Proposition 8 and the successful efforts in Maine, New York and New Jersey to protect marriage. But now we're in the fight of our lives.

And here's the $10,000 question: If the judge was straight and ruled to uphold Prop 8, would you have raged that of course, he was straight, and should have recused himself? Of course not. You damn fraud.

Who's the damn fraud? Why that nice email even gave me a handy target. I even included his pic because he kinda looks like a douchebag.



Brian S. Brown
President
National Organization for Marriage
2029 K Street, NW, Suite 300
Washington, DC 20006
bbrown@nationformarriage.org



So, Brian, riddle me this: If the case is certainly going to the SCOTUS, then what's all the hubbub about? Your dirty bigot money doesn't have much of any influence in those chambers and, ideally, it's really just an issue of constitutionality at that point (I know, I know, split down party lines and for this one with the same hate you have in your heart).

I realize it's a silly question, but for the kids in the back, let's answer it out loud. You and your organization are using this event and hate and fear-mongering to scare the bejesus out of all those other Americans who can't stand to see them dirty fags gettin' murried. That way they'll dump money into your coffers, your bank account.

And if the Supreme Court makes the rational, moral, and right decision on this one? Why I'm sure you'll stuff my box again claiming you know just how to take this fight to the real top. Because it's not the Constitution you're all that worried about, is it? It's how you and your loyal followers can keep those icky gays from ruining your fairy tale.

Spoiler alert, Brian: The ending's kinda gay.

Bunch of Crap: Drudgery, Sun Blows Wad w/ Napolitano

How the Sun shot web

So Drudge decided to post some college kid's poor camera film of raw satellite that's like 7 minutes long and entitled Katie Couric RAW: Leaked footage of Couric Making Fun of Sarah Palin (FULL). OMG it's gotta be so crazy nasty and KC's going to lose her job over it OMG! Um, no. There's one reference that Katie makes while reading Sarah's kids names: "Where the hell do they come up with...?" And that's all. Yeah, that's it. But the comment-trolls fresh from Drudge act like it's apocalypse: She's an Obama tool, she can barely read, she thinks she's such hot shit. There's a special place in hell for Repub myrmidon trolls.

Speaking of apocalypse - as in the retarded "end of the world" version and not the "revealing" that it really means - the sun kinda exploded the other day. Seriously. Okay, not totally exploded. That'd be like saying I explode every time I have a coronal mass ejection. But that only happens sometimes.

"On 1 August, almost the entire side of the Sun that faces the Earth erupted in a blaze of activity known as a 'coronal mass ejection'." Holy shit! The "entire side of the Sun?" And that's the limit of the confirmation because we couldn't see the other side? Aurora as far south as Michigan? And that was just a low-powered glancing blow? Fuck, I think we've got a nasty peak activity cycle coming.

Which will tie in nicely with "End of Days" for the gay bigots pissing their bleached-pure tighty-whiteys over the judge that struck down CA's Proposition 8 as unconstitutional. Awww...snap! Even Kim Kardashian, who's not a real celebrity, got in on the Tweeted praise! Apparently the social troglodytes think a land where first cousin marriage allowances is rampant is better than them dirty gays gettin' hitched.

Oh, and Janet Napolitano has lied to you and saved and turned your nekkid airport scans into her personal shower-quality masturbation material. Sorries! I wonder if she's one of those women who, you know, ejects coronal mass when she explodes. Now that I might incorrectly call Apoca-lips.

Weed & Lesbians - Auto-Tune it!

Just watch. Hilarity.

Jesus, Anne Rice, & Lindsay Lohan - Rant

If you missed it or are blind to any reference to vampires aside from "Woohoo! Team Edward! Woohoo!" then you may have sauntered by a recent story about Anne Rice, author of Interview With a Vampire (and a couple dozen other novels) and arguable (grand?)mother of the current vampire craze.

She has 'quit' Christianity, as announced on her FB page. Yes, really. And, hell, I don't blame her. I renounced Catholicism at about 17 as an absurdly foolish path to any ultimate reality. A pastor has called her out to say that the people are the Church. I respond:

Dear Pastor,
I'm pretty sure Anne Rice understands the philosophies and underpinnings of the Church in general, and that's why she made that statement. Yes, the Church is the People, but every single division of Christianity has taken stories in a book and constructed this scaffolding around it in the shape it desires. And they have all declared: "There is no truth except through us."

And if you want to work through all that scaffolding you'll find people - mostly men - of the cloth that must aid you in that journey. By helping you climb the scaffold they built.

In Catholicism, the links are so disparate that you're 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon to get to the Pope who has the Red Phone. For the rest of them, it's ideas and thoughts as under-the-sink gradeschool crystal growth projects to build rules and implied judgments from the minds of men.

If you believe in God and want to make that connection a 1-on-1 call, there's NO Christian way to do it without being a part of that scaffold in some way. And within that scaffold, in many different factions of Christianity, lies a great deal of exclusion and hate that would never have crossed the mind of Jesus.

So shut up and let her write more great fiction.

Ricky

And I also saw that Prison Minister Marty Angelo said that Lindsay Lohan would've been way better off if she'd accepted Jesus as her personal savior and gone through religious-based treatment for her addictions.

On the light side, this is like saying gays can be cured through Jesus-ization. On the dark side, it's like a kid I had teaching tenth grade in NC, and on an essay question about Elie Wiesel's Night and how Faith played a role, he wrote me a one-sentence response: "If the Jews had just accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, then none of this would've happened." For those of you who missed that book, Night is a first-person recollection of surviving the death camps in WWII.

Christian healing only works for Christians. I don't think Lindsay has - or will - hit rock bottom. And if she does, she might do the addict dance I've seen so many times: Booze and coke to cigarettes, coffee, and Christ. And maybe then that treatment might work. But for now, Lindsay is a whackjob, out of her mind on excess and immortality and well on the way to the same grave that acted as the thoroughfare for so many other celebrities, except without the talent to pass into anything other than obscurity.

God save her soul.

* Tolerance Does NOT Include Islam

The Anti-Defamation League's Statement On Islamic Community Center Near Ground Zero

New York, NY, July 28, 2010 ... The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) today issued the following statement regarding the proposed Islamic Center near Ground Zero in Manhattan:

We regard freedom of religion as a cornerstone of the American democracy, and that freedom must include the right of all Americans – Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and other faiths – to build community centers and houses of worship.

We categorically reject appeals to bigotry on the basis of religion, and condemn those whose opposition to this proposed Islamic Center is a manifestation of such bigotry.

However, there are understandably strong passions and keen sensitivities surrounding the World Trade Center site. We are ever mindful of the tragedy which befell our nation there, the pain we all still feel – and especially the anguish of the families and friends of those who were killed on September 11, 2001.

The controversy which has emerged regarding the building of an Islamic Center at this location is counterproductive to the healing process. Therefore, under these unique circumstances, we believe the City of New York would be better served if an alternative location could be found.

In recommending that a different location be found for the Islamic Center, we are mindful that some legitimate questions have been raised about who is providing the funding to build it, and what connections, if any, its leaders might have with groups whose ideologies stand in contradiction to our shared values. These questions deserve a response, and we hope those backing the project will be transparent and forthcoming. But regardless of how they respond, the issue at stake is a broader one.

Proponents of the Islamic Center may have every right to build at this site, and may even have chosen the site to send a positive message about Islam. The bigotry some have expressed in attacking them is unfair, and wrong. But ultimately this is not a question of rights, but a question of what is right. In our judgment, building an Islamic Center in the shadow of the World Trade Center will cause some victims more pain – unnecessarily – and that is not right.

The Anti-Defamation League, founded in 1913, is the world's leading organization fighting anti-Semitism through programs and services that counteract hatred, prejudice and bigotry.

Maybe we should all make a point of stopping by the ADL contact page and letting them know you disagree - if, of course, you do. I did.

Your position on the Islamic community center and mosque proposed for New York City has made you a self-parody and seats you in the front of crowd of intolerance and hate that has been spewed by right wing media and well-known racists across the US. You should be ashamed. You have stripped yourselves of any credibility. "...to secure justice and fair treatment to all?" You should probably insert an asterisk to make clear that that position comes with a heaping helping of "However, ..."

Friday Videos: 7 Degrees of Alabama

Comedy Gold follows. Be prepared. And in the spirit of full disclosure, it's only really 6 from Alabama and a turtle fucking a shoe.

This is a news story from Alabama about 4 years ago. Some folks saw a leprechaun:




Another story from Alabama, apparently attempted rape - with a message:




And just in case someone starts waaambling about how attempted rape cannot be funny:



And yes, I knew (guessed) turtles made that noise when I was 14. I feel radically vindicated 19 years later.

UPDATE!

Holy shit, Alabama - what is wrong with you? This is a recorded conversation when a Huntsville reporter is interrupted by a bystander. WTF?




...and we can't forget the Flea Market video...




Oh, my Christ, make me stop Alabama!




Okay, Cullman Liquidation Ctr, but you're the last one!



Have a great weekend!

Muslims & Tea Party?

From TPM:

Diane Serafin, the leading of the protest against the building of a new mosque in Temecula, CA.:

"They hate Jews, they hate Chrisitans, they hate women, they hate dogs. [The idea of the new mosque] scares the daylights out of me. I want you to stress this -- I'm not prejudiced. I worked retail for nine years and I didn't even know my manager was gay until someone told me. And when I found out, I didn't care."

--Josh Marshall

*runs screaming from the room*

Trinidadian Slap Chop

Just like the title says, silly!



Okay, now you can say WTF?

Obama the Muslim

Maybe I should just make this Human Events week. The stuff they're coming up with is going in the "Classic Batshit & Lies" file forever! Here's a taste of this morning's poo stew:

Let’s see. President Obama says there is nothing more beautiful than the Muslim call to prayer in the evening. He says that the United States was not founded as a Christian nation.

Obama’s father and step-father were Muslims and he spent his childhood living in a Muslim country where his school enrollment records say his religion is Islam. As President of the United States he genuflects to the Muslim King of Saudi Arabia but not the Christian Queen of England. He thumbs his nose at America’s friends and bows to its enemies. In short, Obama quacks like a Muslim, waddles like a Muslim and acts like a Muslim, so is he a Muslim? My mother would say, “Yes! He’s a Muslim through and through.”

Growing up as a Muslim, Obama must have learned that according to the Qur’an it is acceptable to lie, deceive and live by a double standard provided in so doing one advances Islamic goals.

And I believe that's where my head about asploded. I can't even start let alone rant on this one. Very simple: If you already hate all Muslims because of right wing rhetoric, we're simply shoving Obama so deeply into that "other" that you, too, can be confident you hate him because he hates America like a terrorist and not because he's black!

I just don't know how they can get away with what is effectively libel.

Tickle Me Melmo

You know, if Elmo was a misogynist racist. Right?

Democrats Target Bachmann?

It's true! Email in today's right-wing nutter slop pile, Daily Events:

Dear Fellow Conservative,

Nancy Pelosi and her liberal allies in Washington have just moved my race up to one of their top targets.

My opponent was named to the Democrats so-called "Red to Blue" list. These candidates will serve as the rubber stamp to the radical Pelosi agenda of higher taxes, out-of-control spending, and massive government overreach.

Click here to stop the liberal attack machines!

Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats are targeting me to keep their razor thin majority in the House to pass their extreme liberal agenda. We need to stop the Obama/Pelosi agenda and fight for our constitutional conservative majority. We cannot back down from this fight.

Will you help defend me and the conservative values we share?

Time is of the essence, I've got an important campaign deadline on August 10th, and it is critical for us to send a clear message and end on a strong note.

Please, click here now to make a contribution of $25, $50, $100, $500, $1,000 or more.

I appreciate your help, encouragement and prayers. I will continue to fight for a constitutional conservative majority and lead the effort to repeal government takeover and restore our great nation.

Sincerely,


Michele Bachmann

P.S. Nancy Pelosi would love nothing more than to defeat me this year and is willing to spend whatever it takes to win! And now with Washington's help, millions of dollars will be poured into my opponent coffers from all across the county. Will you help me against the liberal attack machine?

Heyyyyy...wait a second. Are you saying that because of [insert horribly generic Dems-R-Badd rhetoric here], conservatives need not only to vote for you but also give you money? And Human Events is helping you do this?

Shit woman, we (that'd be MOST Americans) are way the hell beyond platitudes, way the hell beyond the politics of "Ooh, Pewosi doesn't wike me!" baby talk with the rubbing of the eyes and the whining. You write this letter (or perhaps allow someone competent to write it) with the intent that anyone gives a shit? I mean, sure, there are plenty of brainwashed righties who'll drop a sawbuck on anything that comes across their inbox denouncing the Left.

But what would happen if you had to actually convince someone of something? What about what you've done or endorsed?

Ooh, that's why you're not touting your actual actions or beliefs. Dag.

You said Obama was the worst President in American History? You refused to fill out your 2010 census? You said that if the GOP wins the house in November that you should "do nothing but issue subpoenas"??? She runs a Christian counseling group with her husband that has taken $30,000 of state taxpayer dollars? She says Obama wants re-education camps for children? She blames Clinton, blacks, and other minorities for the current financial crisis? She's going to form a Tea Party caucus in the House? She introduced a one-page bill to repeal health care?

Sorry, I'll stop now. The fact is that the Repub echo chamber and its own over-echo, FOX News, are more than willing to push Bachmann as yet another seat as yet another non-Democrat. But they can't do it by actually talking about anything she's said or done. Why? She's batshit crazy! And while they continue to push her and allow her to earn a dime or two through Wingnut sites like Daily Events and support her in any way, she is dismantling the Republican Party. Slowly but surely. Note that thing I said above about the "Tea Party caucus?" Holy shit! Now you've got a bunch of ignorant goons running an actual caucus? Actually legitimized? And they're taking power from the other part of the Right?

Bwahahah! I can thing of nothing better than a Bachmann-Palin ticked in 2012. Just give the right enough juice to believe it and it will succeed...until it falls into flames in November.

Van Mural Wednesday - Giraffe!?

You'd think that a post with this title might have one...maybe two images. You'd be wrong! We've got 4 - count 'em 4 - images to share with you today!


Okay, not really a van, but a giraffe all the same - on a vehicle!


Giraffe in the snow? Not...computing....


Awwwshit. That's all giraffe.


And that's the Oscar Mayer Weiner of Giraffemobiles. Rock on! Probably got some giraffes in there, yo! Sippin' on some Hennessey ('cause giraffes like cognac - duh - check out your Wildlife Treasury, bitch!)


And that's how we roll...

Sen. George Voinovich (R-OH) is a Blind Moron

I saw a note on a blog the other day noting that George Voinovich's Contact Page had no mention of Unemployment or Jobs. I checked it out and - okay, you already believe it - in the "Topic" you'd want to choose as the subject of your communication, there is absolutely no choice for...oh, hell, let's just list all of Sen. Douchebag's choices here for us to all ponder over, shall we?

.....HOT TOPICS.....
Associated Health Plans
Broadcast Decency Act
Gas Prices
Internet Neutrality
National Security
Same Sex Marriage
School Voucher Program
Social Security
Terrorism
War In Iraq
.....CONSTITUENT SERVICES.....
Casework
Flag Request
Service Academy Nominations
Tour Request
.....GENERAL TOPICS.....
Abortion
Agriculture
Banking-General
Budget
Children's Issues
Communications
Defense-General
Economy-General
Education
Energy
Environment
Foreign Affairs
Government Affairs
Health Care-General
Housing
Immigration
Intelligence Issues
Judiciary
Labor
Nuclear Weapons
Seniors' Issues
Small Business
Tax-General
Trade-General
Transportation
Veterans Affairs
Other

We start with HOT TOPICS. Read: Scary, right-wing talking points. I'm surprised "Them Niggers is Votin'!" isn't listed. Case in point? "Internet Neutrality" The only people talking about it are right wing radio nutters who are bald-face lying about its basic definition (and probably calling it that when anyone in the know calls it "Net Neutrality" - alliteration anyone?). Everyone else knows Neutrality is what we have now. And I'm guessing his topic is not listed to quell the mis-directed "Obama Ownz Da Internets" shoutings of his idiot-driven constituency.

We can skip the services. Meh.

But now that we've seen that the HOT TOPICS (that don't include Voinovich getting all Goth/Emo on us) did NOT include anything about job security or unemployment, then it MUST be in the General Topics, no?

Um, no. Oh, you could choose "Banking-General" 'cause you don't have no money in it, or Budget because when paycheck-to-paycheck turns to unemployment-check-to-unemployment-check turns to "maybe I should rob that aforementioned bank," that might work. But then you might choose Banking-General again.

You could pick Economy-General because Ohio's has been tanking since the 80's with a weak 90's jump and the whole state's missing the latest jump shot in Lebron's rape of Cleveland. You could pick Defense-General because you might choose a rifle over gas in the car as your jobless neighbors become squatters then homeless and the homeless move in to become squatters next door; though that might be Housing. You could pick Children's Issues because the kids are starving because there are no jobs and no money.

What you cannot pick, when trying to contact Senator George Voinovich, is a category labeled "Jobs" or "Unemployment." But maybe because there are no jobs and unemployment's run out for many, he finds it irrelevant. Maybe Georgie figures poor people don't have access to computers or the internet and therefore can't email him. Or maybe he thinks since Obama controls the internets, it's not worth his time.

Republicans don't get humor or technology or compassion and that's fine. I understand that. I don't get why they keep getting elected, but that's a whole nother post.

The Republican Senator of the State of Ohio - a state that is over the 10% mark in unemployment - is missing "Unemployment" or "Jobs" or "Job Creation" or "Joblessness" as a BASIC category of communication online. How fucking out of touch with your constituency must you be to have "Internet Neutrality" in the HOT TOPIC section and not even mention that 10% of working adults...are NOT working? Are the expensive suits and great hotels and extreme taxpayer-paid vacations and fabulous homes all giving you a rich-man brain-wash enema? Because you and the rest of the Republicans are completely ignoring the jobless in our country, you've done NOTHING to create jobs in Ohio (and shitting every Democrat idea is technically LESS than nothing), and yet you yodel about breaking taxes for the fucking RICH! (I'm guessing you're on the "that pays for itself" shovels o' bullshit wagon.)

The Republicans are not going to "win" anything in the fall, Senator V. And that's a shame, because they've already lost their souls in arguing for the last two years against everything compassionate and progressive (as in "helping the human condition progress") while offering no real solutions except to say the other guy is wrong. You're going to lose because you keep shouting "budget" and "deficit" but we all know you raped those things under W. And now you're backtracking, while vomiting platitudes of feces out your mouths. But you don't - and never will - get it. People don't care about bigger economic bullshit theories when they can't make ends meet, when they can't put dinner on the table. They just want a damn job.

And you haven't done a damn thing to help those people.

As a matter of fact, you haven't even offered them a way to communicate with you.

Kitten in a Hat

Just a wash to help that last post descend a bit. Enjoy!

Whitest Kids U'Know: Clint Webb

Yeah, I've been kinda incommunicado as of late. And I'll probably dump my life-changing personal and social issues on you sooner or later, but until I decide that sharing pain anonymously is really going to dilute the process of going through it, please enjoy a clip from a show you can catch on IFC.

Hamsters Are Scary, KIA!

This is the new commercial from KIA. Featuring Hamsters.



It raped my eyes. CGI bringing Furry realities to us is not good use of technology. It is terrifying to us and just encouraging them. There are people jerking off to this!

Fuck you, KIA.

(okay, it was a little cool because I love advances in CGI)