Family Circus, The Other Family

Bill Keane has died.

So what better way to remember than to read one of the greatest parodies of him?



This is The Other Family, and there are about 2 hours of hilarity alt-titling Bill Keane comics. Language NSFW, and if you're easily offended, please avoid.

Enjoy.

Hannity Hypocrisy Cain Sources AAAHHHH!

Today I got a few minutes in the car with my good friend on the AM band, Sean Hannity. And as I've learned in the past few months, with the level of batshit crazy floating out there, a few minutes is enough. To make my head explode.

Can We Discuss the Ladies!?

Just late last week, Sean Hannity was decrying the claims of sexual harassment against Herman Cain, saying that it was categorically false and using it as a Standing Ovation to Conservative Values. Why? Did you see how Liberals attacked those ladies in the Clinton scandal? What OUTRAGE! Liberals are the anti-feminists, of course!

Today? (and I paraphrase) "And so now we've got these women and it looks like this latest one has a troubled history, looks like she's been often switching jobs. I'm not saying that this means anything, I'm just putting these women up to the level of scrutiny that liberals put the Clinton women up to. So what does it really mean she's switching jobs?"

*facepalm*

Out-Sourcing?

So just before I was listening to this drivel from Sean, I was catching up on Gawker posts and saw this one with a lovely clip from The Daily Show exemplifying the foolishness that occurs when the robo-dolls at Fox & Friends attempt to think. Click for the clip, but they decry the validity of the original complaints against Cain because of the anonymous source - followed immediately by an anonymous source backing Cain.

So then I hear Sean saying (and I paraphrase) "So CNN is now saying that the anonymous source is being backed by an anonymous source, her friend. This is reporting nowadays. Anonymous sources? What kind of schleppy news organization calls this journalism?"

Yours, Sean. Yours.


And then my head popped. But then it came back together when I got to vote down Issue 2 this evening. w00t! Suck it Kasich!

Ohio Issues and "All Things Democrat"

Some of you may recall when I wrote on occasion for a blogging outfit called All Things Democrat? No? Well stop on over there. I've been picked up again and will be doing something once a week. This week? Ohio's ballot Issues that'll be showing up tomorrow.

The gist:
Issue 1: Extends max age for judges which will result in a lopsided Republican majority all the way up Ohio's judicial ladder.
Issue 2: Kasich's union-busting bullshittery that will harm all public employees (except Kasich).
Issue 3: Kasich's Anti-Obamacare legislation, cleverly worded to include "preserve freedom" in the language.

Check out more of the outrageous detail over at ATD, and if you live in Ohio, remember: Vote 1, 2, 3, NO.

The Racism Race & Herman Cain

For the last 3 years, the conservative/Republican/Tea Party right has been working diligently to frame Barack Obama as non-Christian (Muslim), non-American (African), not-too-American (Exotic Hawaiian), nuanced (gay?), Capitalism-killing (Communist) America-hater (terrorist). The brush is broad and thick with the paint of the entity that is "the other," a well known psychological and linguistic methodology to indirectly (and incessantly) show that a person or group is "not like you." And with only an occasional slip-up, they haven't driven directly into the "he's black" otherness. But that doesn't mean it's not there. C'mon. I guess solidly half of all criticism of President Obama is an indirect attack that we have an uppity negro in the White House.

But along with all the innuendo and linguistic manipulation, the right has been vehement in one relatively-united message: it's not about race; it's about policy or past or ...not race. Stop saying it's about race. Why would it be about race? God, so NOT race already. Okay. Done. GTFO.

This is three years of constant attacks from all sides for the president orchestrated by hundreds of politicians and pundits and parroted by a plethora of hunt-n-peck bloggers (mmm...alliteration). All the while even the racist-tinged verbal diarrhea gets the notsoracist wash.


Then, two days ago, one single report from the Politico raised the fact that Herman Cain was accused of harassment at one point in his past.

(Subsequently, it was revealed there were two issues of settlements and now a third woman has come forward.)

And ALL HELL breaks loose! Why? Because a strong black man who can represent conservative values and family values can't exist because of the hypocritical left and liberal bias and they will tear him down as an Uncle Tom. Why? RACISM! (Note implied significance: Obama is "other" in that he is not strong and stands for NO American values. Also probably not black enough.)

It's not about his complete lack of political experience, his inability to navigate DC, his being a shitty CEO of Godfather's, his intenable 999 plan, his lack of campaign credibility with lack of infrastructure, his ignorance of foreign policy, the drunk smoker guy, the weird Yellow Flowers cowboy ad, his shady ties, or the man's creepy smile. It has nothing to do with a viable "hey, this has been a problem with a recent president" research into the past of a supposed sexual harassment complaint. It's racism!

Even Sean Hannity on his radio show wants to have a serious conversation about race now and all the negative things people are saying about black Republicans (read: Herman Cain and one other dude) and I caught Sean today in that serious, focused discussion yelling at an African-American caller who said he didn't necessarily think all the quotes he heard were offensive. Hannity replied (paraphrase) "You don't find that offensive? You think it's okay to say "bad apple?" That's not offensive? Oreo?"

So the reference to "bad apple" was Harry Bellefonte calling Herman Cain that. Racist? Meh. And the "Oreo" comment? Well, that was a couple people from the Congressional Black Caucus referring to Cain and Allen West as such (black on the outside, white to the core).

Wait, though, I seem to remember another direct reference to skin color and a cookie that might fit in here:

Well, it — what it’s going to be here, it’s actually a biracial cookie. You’ve got three of the chocolate wafers, and then you’ve got the white vanilla cream — the cream — and then there’s a chocolate cream. So you’ve got, you’ve got three — the stuff, the thing that says Oreo on it, the wafer.

In the midst of all this talk of obesity. And, I mean, every time Michelle Obama goes out there and talks about healthful eating, the food industry responds with, "Oh, yeah? Take this." And Kraft comes up with the Or-Bam-eo, the triple double-dipper.

- Rush Limbaugh

Now, I know, I know, that's not admissible because it was a conservative - a figurative colleague of Sean's of all things - who said that.

Ooh, I know. Wasn't there that whole "Barack the Magic Negro" song controversy? Oh, sorry. Rush was running that one too.

What about "Our blacks are better than their blacks?" Damn. Ann Coulter.


So, Sean, I guess the message is that if you want to actually have a serious discussion about race and politics, cherry-picking the few somewhat-ambiguous things tossed at Herman Cain and Allen West isn't going to cut it. Ignoring the sheer volumes of overt racist antics that have been hurled at our president would be hurdle #1.

You see, we, the liberals - the other - have a pretty good nose for bullshit, and when you stop making diarrhea come out of our speakers we might actually listen.


UPDATE: Holy Snooki, Cain's smoking campaign manager is calling out the Perry campaign for the leaks which makes this even weirder.

Drunk Rick Perry Just Lost the Primary

Every second is worth it. Addressing folks in NH:



Gets kickin' at about 2:00, and escalates horribly from there.

Pass it around.

via Gawker

Personal: Homeland Security Laws Suck

Main Point: Under Homeland security law, if your passport will expire in less than 90 days, you will NOT be allowed to travel internationally.

This afternoon, I drove Mrs. Shambles to the airport so she could go to France to visit her good friend's mother who was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. After viewing her passport, they said "Sorry, we can't let you on the plane." Her passport will expire in 82 days.

I went back to pick her up.

Through much phone calling and double-checking we found out that it is a law under Homeland Security: If your passport will expire within 90 days, you will not be allowed to travel internationally. France says: no problem; your passport is valid. Belgium agrees.

But how does anyone know that? Do they post an alert when you buy your ticket? NO. Is there a common understanding that something you pay the government to license you for for 10 years is NOT honored for the last 90 days of that license? NO. Passports are good for 10 years, so when this law was enacted, were all passport holders who would be affected by this law alerted to this new policy? NO.

So WTF? Isn't Homeland Security's plan of "security" to keep dangerous people out? How the hell does it keep our country safer by making my wife - trying to visit a dear, ill friend - inside the USA?

Dear Washington: This is case in point of why Americans don't trust bullshit laws and Washington, D.C. in general. You create a law and don't tell anyone and don't back it with anything but a wall - the airlines don't prevent you from purchasing a ticket or ask you for your passport expiration or even have a pop-up warning that this is a LAW.

I'd guess that it actually ended up as a rider to boost revenue by 90 days.

I want a check for a 90 day pro-rate. Assholes.

In Short: Conservative Conspiracies

In case you missed it:

College!
Barack Obama is now a dictator doing whatever he wants whenever he wants because he's upping the timetable for the aid to college kids - which is just a left wing ploy to socialize education, favor the elitist schools like Harvard, indoctrinate everyone into a humanities or social work degree and leave taxpayers with the bill. This will, of course, cause every college in the country to charge $50,000 per year. (Brian Thomas, WKRC, this morning)

Islam
We're going in and taking out leaders of Muslim nations like Hussein and Gaddafi and you know what the people are doing? Replacing them with Muslim people and instituting laws in line with their Muslim beliefs! Lybia's now in the throes of anarchy and Sharia and they're terrorists and there are 30,000 missing missiles and nuclear weapons up for grab. Islam IS terrorism; Muslims ARE terrorists. (David Horowitz, Sean Hannity Radio Show, yesterday)


Poking fun at Perry, chiding Fox news? That's peanuts. Above is the kind of serious right wing batshit crazy ignorance that's going out there every single day and being fully absorbed by the mindless myrmidons before the parroting ensues. I saw that Thomas drivel about college posted by someone I know on Facebook not two hours after it was spouted. And it had likes.

I listen so you don't have to. Happy Thursday.

Herman Cain: 9 Craziest Things He's Said

This is going to be a long primary season.

via ThinkProgress

NSFW Video - Duck Sauce: The Big Bad Wolf

I know you're going to watch it at least twice.

via i09

Columbus AM Radio Facepalm: Chuck Douglas

Almost forgot about this brief gem.

Last Sunday I was floating through Columbus on my way back to Cincinnati and, being the auditory masochist, was cruising the AM dial. Granted, on a Sunday it's much more nutritional supplements, computer shows, gun shows, etc. and not so much in the way of politics. But I got lucky: I found Chuck Douglas on 610 AM.

Chuck was talking about how the GOP re-drew the congressional lines - as happens every decade - for Ohio, the Democratic Party said "Woah, that's some crazy Spirograph shit!" and is challenging it by collecting signatures to put it to a referendum on the 2012 ballot. And he was very right on one count: it happens every time that the party in power takes advantage and shoehorns their map into law. Going referendum is a little stupid in this count since people will be running for districts that might be vastly different or not even exist after the election.

Of course, he immediately took the right-wing tack by picking whatever fit anti-Democrat purposes: what good is passing legislation if you're just going to turn around and take it to the people? Hrm? I'm pretty sure I've heard a multitude of cries of "shoved down our throat" and "put it to a vote" and "take it to the people" when it came to Obamacare. Of course, this is Republican-controlled Ohio circling the toilet, so the song is whatever it needs to be.

And then something stranger happened: Chuck vilified someone he heard on TV who mispronounced this practice because that person mispronounced and called it "gerrymanding" instead of gerrymandering. Three minutes later THE topic was gerrymandering and it happens every ten years and "there's a word for it because ...it happens on a regular basis." Fifteen minutes later, Chuck had repeated the "word for it" bit of wisdom twice without offering the slightest iota of definition or historical reference. It was obvious he really had no idea.

Quick lesson, Chuck:



Gerrymandering was first used in reference to this comic in the Boston Gazette newspaper on March 26, 1812 (it was also in every kid's Jr. High civics book). The caricature was demonstrating how Massachusetts legislature was drawing a district to favor then Gov. Elbridge Gerry and minimize the impact of the Federalists. As some thought the district looked like a salamander, the combination of Gerry and salamander gave birth to the term that still vibrantly lives today.

So now we all know what gerrymandering is and why it's called that. Yay! Secondary lesson: If you're going to be yappin' yer yaw about something, take a few minutes to pick up the basics.

Conservative Take, OWS: I Know You Want to Throw Up All Over Yourself

Or drive yourself to drink to blackout.

Then why not read the post on Conservapedia about OWS?

Leftist protest Occupy Wall Street is an ongoing anti-capitalism rally, with beginnings as an astroturfing campaign funded by a George Soros group called Adbusters; invoked by Bill Ayers "Days of Rage," the first Occupy protest was staged on September 17, 2011 in New York City after months of planning by co-founder of SEIU Stephen Lerner.[1][2][3] Occupy Wall Street protesters consist of radicals, anarchists, nihilists, college students, hippies, special interest groups, labor unions and vendors. They dislike capitalism, blame greed, Wall Street and the banks for economic hardship, and have been seen spitting on U.S. Military personnel.[4] Similar 'Occupy' demonstrations have spread to a dozen cities, and has caused thousands of arrests across the United States.
The Occupy Wall Street movement was inspired by the Arab Spring protests in Cairo that were organized by the Muslim Brotherhood.[5][6] Egyptians camped out in Tahir Square until Hosni Mubarak resigned.

Oh, it gets better. But I'm just here to give you the tools, not make you poke out your eyes and drink bleach because of the message. Happy hump day!

Mitt Romney - Bad Lip Reading Joy!

You peed yourself over Rick Perry, so here's some Romney from BLR. Enjoy!

Marijuana Majority

Who thinks the legalization of marijuana is okay? Most of Americans.



Giddyup! Oh, I mean Gallup.

Maybe it's time to get government out of our lives. What was that, Republicans? You don't like marijuana or hippies and need to save about half of Americans from ...themselves? Because you know better? Maybe like a Nanny would?

Well-played, control machine. Well-played. I have some alcohol to drink now.

Ohio's Issue 3: So Hard to Say NO

Ohio's Issue 2 on November's ballot is relatively straightforward. The Kasich administration is trying to kill unions, collective bargaining and anything that has to do with the Democratic base; and as opposed to Wisconsin, this includes police and fire. They tried to do this with SB5. After gathering many times over the required signatures, it turned into a referendum, Issue 2.

There is some confusion on whether you are voting yes on repealing or voting no on the bill (that is intentional), so here's a picture to help:



Vote NO on Issue 2 if you support your public employees including teachers, fire, and police.


"But wait," you're saying. What's this about Issue 3?

I saw an absentee ballot this weekend and was terrified by what I saw on that ballot as Issue 3.

Long story short, Issue 3 is Kasich's Anti-Obamacare amendment to Ohio's constitution. It's pure politics and nothing but BS. Why was it scary? Because the language is a little confusing except for the incredibly biased header which reads: To Preserve The Freedom Of Ohioans To Choose Their Health Care And Health Care Coverage

I mean, who doesn't want to preserve freedom?

This one's moving under the radar because so much has been put into Issue 2, but it cannot be ignored. Millions of Ohio voters are going to go to the polls this November and probably have a good idea about Issue 2, but know little about issue 3. How do you think that header is going to affect them? How will that affect their on-the-spot voting on an issue?

Vote NO on Issue 3 to stop Kasich's do-nothing, stop-Obama agenda.

Here's the page for info (and ballot language) for Issues 1, 2, & 3 in Ohio.


And have a great week!

Occupy Cincinnati: People Make Me Sad

I posted innocuously about Occupy Cincinnati because I'm totally going to go but because I own a business can't say "I'll be there fucking vampire corporations!"

Someone I consider a friend replied:

Socialism is not among the principles that have made this country the leader of the free world for the past 235 years... Life, liberty, property, pursuit of happiness... Socialism has failed everywhere it has been tried. Know history or repeat it.

Note: America has been the leader of the free world (kinda not so much now) because everyone else was either not industrialized enough, spending their money on kicking the shit out of someone else, or getting the shit kicked out of them.

Note: NOTHING about the Occupy movement has anything to do with socialism.

Note: It's about government-sanctioned corporate abuse of the system, lack of regulations on a financial level that - if they existed on the FDA level - would mean you'd be peeing out your ass once a week (or dead) because no one would make sure your Montsanto crops were anything more than leafy botulism.

Note: [person] knows very little about history, very little about the present. I'd guess he has a psychological receptor for anything that comes from the right-wing AM band. I still consider him a friend but mourn him as a casualty in the war of thought.

In Short: This is Government at Its Worst

Kansas is looking at decriminalizing domestic violence (via ThinkProgress)

Hey, since processing all those angry, violent people is so expensive, let's just NOT do anything to them; we'll make it fine to beat your wife or girlfriend or daughter or mother or anyone else you want to get drunk and beat the shit out of.

NEVER FEAR! We'll still be putting away those dirty hippie pot-smokers and other non-violent offenders.

Seriously: what the fuck are people thinking constitutes "savings?"

Rick Perry Will Make You Pee Your Pants

c/o Bad Lip Readers

Cleveland Muni Lot is Gold

A bastion of tailgating for the Cleveland Browns is and always has been the Municipal (Muni) parking lot.

I guess because drunk dude already has his shirt off, the rage factor is not met until he tears off his pants before attacking the other dude - who sounds sober and has a mic.



I miss you Cleveland.

Would You Like to Shave My Llama?

EDIT: Alpaca - thanks lunamother!



(via Twisted Sifter)

Big Dog

This is a real thing - tech awesome!