Is It Bigger Than a Baby's Arm?

I'm quite comfortable with the size of my man meat (you know, my cock, trouser trout, schlong, wang, lizard, dragon, one-eyed monster, power broker, down-south poker), but bring up the size of my blogroll, and my face goes redder than a nun's engorged clit as she catches a glimpse of Peter Sarsgaard's ass in Kinsey.

The blushing began at a single glance over at Freida Bee's place, where she explains (of which I was already aware, being the internets SEO foo I am) that the blogroll isn't rated by the search engines much, if at all. If you want it to count, the link needs to be in the text. Technorati loves that too, like fat kids love cake.

Then I saw it at PoliTits and before I knew it, everyone's was bigger than mine.

As Jar Jar Binks would say, I'sa bina lazee fucka. So let's make some amends and fatten that bastard up.

Oh, shit. Freida Bee's not even on my blogroll. What kind of person am I? Not all the 35 Percenters are, I guess - hell, even the 35 Percenters blog isn't. That will now add Blue Man in a Red District, Dandelion Salad, The Greenbelt, The Hermit with Davis Fleetwood, Hip-Hop Is Read, The Largest Minority, Modern Musings, Monkey Muck, Peace Elf, Peace Garden, Phydeaux Speaks, The Quaker Agitator, and Today's Talk (yes, I'm alphabetizing like I would book titles, and "The" does not put it under T).

And hunting through another few bounces and blogrolls is Angry Ballerina because it's fucking raw and brilliant, Lily's Karmic Reverberations because she's my new blogging buddy at All Things Democrat, Morning Martini because, hey, morning martinis, flowers, and kitties, Feministing because I think chicks should be all equal and shit, and Rob Bast's 2012 Blog because, deep down, I'm a little batshit crazy. Ooh, and I can't forget Skepchick because - damn! - women and science and ...I think I just got all melty.

So before I dump my load and spit out the final feed (yes, new folks get double dips), a quick suggestion to other folks with other blogs:

When adding links to your blogs or blogrolls, after making your link look like this:
<a href="http://www.website.com">Website Name</a>

now make it look like this

<a href="http://www.website.com" target="_blank" title="Website Name">Website Name</a>

The "target" bit opens a new window or tab and keeps the reader on your blog too. The Website name, well that makes search engines tinkle just a little in their pants from glee. Not only that, you can see that "title text" by simply mousing over a link. *pop* and there it is. Yay! (Oh, I wasn't actually quoting anyone there, just sets it apart s'y'cun se'er bitter.)

Oh, yeah, I promised a load:

• 2012 Blog
• 35 Percenters blog
• All Things Democrat
• Angry Ballerina
• Bad Astronomy
• Bad Business
• Balls and Walnuts
• Blue Gal
• Blue Man in a Red District
• Club Lefty
• Crooked House
• Crooks and Liars
• Cut to the Chase
• Dandelion Salad
• Feministing
• Freida Bee
• The Greenbelt
• The Hermit with Davis Fleetwood
• Hip-Hop Is Read
• Karmic Reverberations
• The Largest Minority
• Modern Musings
• Monkey Muck
• Morning Martini
• North State Blogs
• Peace Elf
• Peace Garden
• Phydeaux Speaks
• PoliTits
• Princess Sparkle Pony's Picture Blog
• The Quaker Agitator
• Rox Populi
• Think Progress
• Today's Talk
• xkcd

See? It's not necessarily all that much bigger than anyone else's, but - damn! - it's got girth.

Sidenote: I'm going to be soon doing some redesign to get rid of the standard Blogger template and look all personalized and professional and shit, so coming soon the above folks will look even more impressive in Linktastica!

Sidenote 2: If you have a blog and want to join Cause for Concern's Linktastica! (or, of course, if I'm a douche and you should already be there), just send me an email - I think I even have my IM in there; what the hell am I thinking? - through my profile.

And that is all.

I am Eraserhead

Which David Lynch Movie am I?


you are: eraserhead
Take this quiz!


I knew it.

Thanks Blue Gal, and congrats on you 1400th post!

Ricky's Wisdom for Today - 2/19/08

The Dalai Lama consistently impresses me with the plain-spoken wisdom that can be found coming from his mind. Simple. Beautiful. And true.

Anger is the real destroyer of our good human qualities; an enemy with a weapon cannot destroy these qualities, but anger can. Anger is our real enemy.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe: Naked

That's right. I said "naked." And Lindsay Lohan. And Marilyn Monroe. Of course I'd be flattered if you touched yourself while reading this blog.


Photograph by Bert Stern

Back in 1963, Marilyn Monroe sat for a photo shoot in which she appeared naked. It has since been referred to as "The Last Sitting" because six weeks later, she was found dead.

Now Lindsay Lohan, a fan of Marilyn, has sat for a "remix" if you will of those photos for New York Magazine (link NSFW because of, well, boobies).

And now the faux concern floodgates open: I can't listen to entertainment news without hearing "Oh Em Gee! Marilyn got naked photos and died six weeks later and now Lindsay took the photos and she's on a downward starlet spiral. Achtung! Peligro! The fucking world's coming to an end!"

Let's make one thing clear: Lindsay Lohan is not Marilyn Monroe; Lindsay Lohan is a mid-grade celebrity and a low-grade social alcoholic. Besides, everyone knows Marilyn was whacked because her ties to JFK and I don't believe Lindsay has fucked the president.

I can't stand "entertainment news." But photography, well...


Note: Photobucket, while hosting this image for dozens of others, has deleted mine twice now. Bastards. At least I can upload through Blogger.

If You're Not a Vegetarian Yet...

Thank God for the Humane Society, but this video is disturbing.



What's more disturbing? Our society. Bo Reagan, vice president of research for the Colorado-based National Cattleman’s Beef Association, said "The welfare of our animals – that’s the heart and soul of our operations."

But...don't you kill them? En masse? To make the yummy, innocuous Big Macs we glut ourselves on?

I would hate to see him care for the welfare of his own children.

It's videos like this that push me into meat avoidance for a few weeks, but my complacency as an American consumer that allows me to float back into the meat-eating world.

I know.

NPR Ombudsman Blows Off Concern

On February 11th, NPR and Talk of the Nation's Neal Conan held a roundtable discussion about coverage of the presidential campaigns. About 20 minutes in, Alicia Shepard, NPR Ombudsman, had this notable interchange with a disgruntled caller:

WARNER: I'm calling because there's been no coverage, generally, but also on NPR about the current presidential race in the Green Party of the United States. We had four primaries last Tuesday in Massachusetts, Arkansas, Illinois, and California, and it seems to me that basic journalism includes covering the facts, and if you're not covering all the facts, you're not doing your job. And I've also not heard anything about large-scale voting interference with Green Party members voting in Illinois, which occured last Tuesday, and I want to know if NPR is going to cover the District of Columbia primary that's going to be happening tomorrow, including the Green Party Primary.

SHEPARD: I don't think I can answer that, but let's hope that the political editor, Ron Elving, is listening, and I'm sure that NPR will be covering the Democratic primary in the District.

CONAN: Republican primary too.

WARNER: Well, that's the point. There's also another party's primary - the Green Party primary - the Libertarian party, which is another smaller, national party, also is not getting any coverage, and they have a full slate of presidential candidates also. I know because I saw their ballot with mine for the California primary.

CONAN: Warner, thanks very much for the call. Let's see if we can go now....

What the fuck just happened?

The Ombudsman is supposed to stand for oversight and extended explanations over policy. A policy question about news being completely ignored was directly asked of Alicia Shepard. And she completely ignored his concern and said the Dems and Repubs would be covered for sure - which is exactly his point!

And when he elucidated and brought up more ignored small party news, Neal Conan cut him off and went to another caller.

Proper coverage of anyone not on Media Sweetheart list, anyone not suckling at the teat of Media Mania, is being completely ignored. And it is not simple "Shhhh," brush it under the carpet, but a blatant, public, debilitating mushroom stamp from the Judgment Cock of Big Media. And today, Alicia Shepard wields that club.

Listen at the above link. Contact Alicia Shepard at the Ombudsman's Page. Let her know what you feel after you hear Warner get knocked down by the person who's supposed to at least listen to the little guy.

Michael Savage: When Hate Crosses the Line

(I know, when is MS not crossing a line.)

I've hit up Michael Savage a couple times in the last month, specifically for the well-documented rage against Muslims and more recently a rant against Heath Ledger. I have also received appropriate feedback pertaining to my posts - to a certain extent.

When Michael Savage spit his acid at Muslims and, specifically, CAIR, that's all happy hating opinion, and fine in America, even if contemptuously hideous. The same goes for his frequent rants about how homosexuals are ruining America and San Francisco in particular: it's ugly speech, but protected speech; turn it off or blog about it or yell at your neighbors about it if you don't like it.

However, when he says that Heath Ledger intentionally killed himself "with needles" because he couldn't handle how his portrayal of homosexuality ruined the image of "great America itself," that is slander. Slander is "a false and defamatory oral statement about a person," and the statement about Heath Ledger fits right in there. And that is not protected speech.

So this past Tuesday, Savage was harfing our more verbal filth, this time against the educational establishment, and said "most sociologists are child molesters." So where does that fit on the protected speech-o-meter? He's not really talking about specific person, but he's clearly attributing a social deviancy to a specific group of people delineated by vocation. What are your thoughts?

And since it's Valentine's Day, I thought this appropriate:



So how's that fit in to our discussion?

St. Peter in Chains - One Hour Delay

I was monitoring the school delay listings today and spotted one rather curious entry: St. Peter in Chains School. Obviously, my mind immediately flitted to BDSM pornography, then to the Jesus and Mary Chain, then Tori Amos singing "Crucify" (cha-i-a-i-a-i-a-i-ains, who-oah) before I finally realized I had no actual reference for why this obviously Catholic School (Catholics are retarded for saints) had taken such a curious name.

Well, Simon Peter, a.k.a. St. Peter (denied Christ, first pope, yada yada) was imprisoned by Herod Agrippa who was going to kill him. But before he could be killed, an angel - yes, an otherworldly entity - woke him, allowed his binding chains to fall, and let him walk straight out of prison. And - surprise, surprise - it even has its own Feastday.

FYI: "San Pietro in Vincoli (Saint Peter in Chains) is a basilica in Rome, best known for housing Michelangelo's statue Moses." And he looks a lot like Zeus. Christians had to get their limited-use God-face from somewhere, silly.

So back to Yay! St. Peter was saved! Of course, not long after that, he was again captured. Legend has it he did not believe he was worthy of dying in the same manner as Jesus and was crucified upside down in Rome. Which, of course, leads to the line of questioning: if the founder of the Christian Church was crucified upside down, why is that a symbol of evil? Why not use an upside down cross as the prime religious symbol (you know, maybe without the corpse nailed to it)?

Why? When your religion has enough bureaucracy to fill its own country, you do not get to ask why; your beliefs have been modified and fortified and formulated and heated and put in a nice, neat bottle for you. All you need to do is suck.

Japanese Ronald McDonald Mashup

What the fuck?

Playing Catch-up With Firefox, Hillary, Obama, ACLU Real Live Porn, and Movies

As I mentioned earlier this week, I downloaded a Firefox extension called "Read it Later" and it's a double-edged sword. On one hand, I'm able to keep track of interesting bits I'd like to blog about, but on the other hand, I quickly garner 20+ links I want to blog about. And you can't delete the bookmarks from the Read it Later interface, but have to go into Bookmarks to do it. S'okay, it's in Beta, and is more good than bad.

This post is about catching up.

Anti-Hillary Film and SCOTUS

I flagged this one at the first mention from the AP about the film Hillary: The Movie (those Repubs are so clever in their titling):

The early reviews are in, and three federal judges appeared in agreement Thursday that a movie lambasting Hillary Rodham Clinton seemed an awful lot like a 90-minute campaign advertisement.

This is problematic from the perspective of, ironically, a campaign finance law partially named after the man they're now left to elect: McCain-Feingold. The federal judges shut David Bossie down and he's now going to SCOTUS to appeal. The sticking point is still that campaign finance law, like a drunken juggalo blocking the keg:

But one provision of McCain-Feingold makes it illegal to use corporate or union money for "any broadcast, cable or satellite communication" if it "refers to a clearly identified candidate for federal office" within 30 days of a primary election or a convention or within 60 days of a general election.

If they feel like listening, this will be a huge ruling, and define legal pre-election free-for-all as financing a DVD slamming your opponent. Damned juggalos.

FDA Says Cloned Meat OK

FDA says it's okay? Honestly, I understand the science, but I'll be fucked if I think there's still not something hinky about pulling some DNA from a hot London Broil and making another cow.

Problem? You betcha. FDA said it's okay. Expect unlabeled samples in your Kroger/Giant Eagle/Piggly Wiggly soon.

Advice? Shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. At least for your meat.

ACLU: Larry Craig is Right!

The ACLU stood up for failed human being Larry Craig, stating that a bathroom stall is a private place and there is an expectation of privacy in such a place, even if you're soaping the balls of a stranger through a glory hole.

ACLU: I love you, but no. This is just way the fuck off base. If Seabass accidentally meets me at 3am in the wrong stall and decides to violate me, is that, too, a private place?

"Find a happy place, find a happy place."

Killing an ... Obama?

After Senator Kennedy endorsed Barack Obama and insinuated that he was the next JFK, Harry Smith, on the CBS Early Show pushed the button five steps beyond what everyone was thinking: So, um, do you think Obama will be assassinated just like your brother? Okay, he put it more mildly:



Let Your Movies Define You

And if you didn't have enough social networking sites yet, check out Cinescopes. They'll take your Top Ten movies of all time and translate them into insights about yourself, match you to friends, and all those other good things they can do on this newfangled Internets 2.0.

Take your time, but you can always change it up later. I'm still sticking with my original 10, in alphabetical order, but will probably need some revisions in the future:

12 Monkeys
28 Days Later
Playing By Heart
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Pi
Mirrormask
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Lost in Translation
Shaun of the Dead
True Romance

cough! nerd! cough!



And that's about it for the update. Now I can delete all those bookmarks. Cheers!

Your Part of Iraq: $275/mo

No questions asked, the cost keeps going up. And up. And up. And how does that relate to the current frontrunners in line for the 2008 Presidental Election? Did you not hear the phrase shot round the world: "100 years"?

Brave New Films hits it hard:




Do something.

Navy Invents New Way of Killing People

Holy shit.

Electromagnetic railguns mounted on U.S. naval vessels will use electricity to launch projectiles farther and faster than any ship in today's fleet. When fully operational, the electromagnetic railgun (EMRG) will:

• Deliver hypervelocity projectiles at Mach 5 on impact in support of Marines and ground forces.
• Strike within 5 meters of a pinpointed target from distances in excess of 200 nautical miles.
• Maximize damage through kinetic energy from longer range while minimizing risks to crews and ships.

Tested on 1/31/08: Fired at 2,520 meters per second, the shot generated 10.64mj of muzzle energy.

From Navy, DVICE.

Popehat Growls at Science: Grrr...

We've got a lot of catching up to do. I use FireFox because Internet Explorer is the devil, and about two weeks ago I got a new plugin that is a quick click to a "read it later" bookmark folder. I'll delve into it more tomorrow, but for now, feel free to chew on the Popehat's bile from the Vatican's 1/28 press release:

"Human beings have the specific ability of discerning what is good", the Pope concluded. "In our own time, when the progress of the sciences attracts and seduces for the possibilities it offers, it is more necessary than ever to educate the consciences of our contemporaries to ensure that science does not become the criterion of good, that man is still respected as the centre of creation, and that he does not become the object of ideological manipulation, arbitrary decisions, or abuses."

What the Popehat is trying to say, of course, is that as long as science doesn't get too science-y, and as long as people who have dedicated their lives to studying the measurable and empirical take into consideration the invisible and intangible - ooh, and make sure you prove life starts at conception - then science is a good thing.

You know you've heard this type of thing before: if the high courts of America overturn liberal laws, they are interpreting the Constitution; if they overturn conservative laws, they're out-of-control activist judges, legislating from the bench.

Al-Qaeda, Evangelicals Teaching Hate

The Sun proclaims

Al-Qaeda teach kids, 6, to kill



in a related story,

Evangelicals teach kids, 6, to hate

Bin Laden Apologizes for 9/11

What would happen if Osama bin Laden was not officially blamed by the FBI for 9/11 and yet his son was apologizing and desirous of brokering peace? Welcome to reality. Davis Fleetwood, wonderful as always:

Montel Williams Puts It to FOX On FOX

Montel Williams was brought on FOX as a consultant to jabber about Health Ledger, but that's not what was on his mind. Something was bothering him, like jabbering about Heath Ledger when a couple hundred people died in America yesterday naturally, and that 28 troops have died in Iraq since January 1 (it's actually 41) - with no mention from FOX:



Since March 2003, 3,945 American troops have died in Iraq (4,252 throughout Coalition). 5 troops died from wounds sustained while in Iraq but go unacknowledged by the DoD in the count.

I just hope that when we hit 4,000 someone who gets some television face time takes a deep breath and has the balls to remind us that George Bush has officially killed more Americans than 9/11 in a war that had nothing to do with 9/11, even if it's still being occasionally touted as such.

A Smurfy Update from Croatia

Last week, I got smurfy with the Croatian people. Leave it to them not only to bounce back, but comment on my blog:

we beat record today with 533 smurfs!

(Croatian News Link)

Based on the "we" and the link to the news station not in English, someone directly related to the effort wanted to set me straight. Nice.

How about another picture for posterity:



Congratulations to Croatia and, specifically, this group of persevering Smurfs. Good show.

Ricky's Wisdom for Today - 2/2/08

This is not for every day, but can be applied to many. Today is one of those days.

L'enfer, c'est les autres.
(Hell is other people.)

-- Jean-Paul Sartre, Huis-clos (No Exit)

Crippling the Middle East Through Technology

I know there are many people out there that have the absurd conviction that everyone in the Middle East lives in dusty ruins without electricity, but that is simply not the case; major centers of industry and technology exist in Egypt, Dubai, Iran, etc. A little further east and you probably have personal experience to back up India's call center megapoli.

Now what would happen if two undersea cables near Egypt were suddenly cut? Perhaps by a "wayward anchor?" Well, that's odd, you might say. Or should say since it happened Wednesday.

And then on Friday, a third cable was "damaged" between United Arab Emirates and Oman. Oops! What're the odds?

Now, what would you say if said "accidents" not only damaged access to the internet for all the countries listed above, but resulted in Iran having NO access?

I'd probably call that Holy Shit What's Going Down?

There are thinly-veiled "OMG 4th Cable!" stories floating on the bullshit foam of the internet ether, all of them unfounded. For now. I've also seen some reports, none verifiable, that Iran's access is being remedied, but is being done through American and British servers.

Something hinky is going on here.

Michael Savage: Old Man Hates teh Gay

During the tragic death of Heath Ledger, most of you have heard of John Gibson, lead reptilian humanoid of FOX News using Ledger's death as a way to make a stupid, sad joke about him as a "weirdo" "with a drug problem." Why? Because John Gibson is a bigot and hates gays and Heath Ledger once made a movie that made a lot of money about a man struggling with his sexuality in an oppressive society.

But John Gibson is an assbag; he got plenty of negative press for the comments, made that ever-traditional "I'm sorry if people were offended" non-apology, and I still think he's an assbag and assbags all over the country still think he's a credible journalist. Status quo.

But what we haven't heard of, what I can't seem to find any reference about, is Michael Savage's treatment of the same subject. We've already visited how Dr. Savage pounced on Muslims, but unless you regularly listen to his verbal and often-unfocused hate ooze through your speakers, you may not know that he's a dirty old codger, living in San Francisco, and daily railing against the filth and amorality of homosexuals destroying the city.

Last Tuesday, January 22nd, as speculation over Heath Ledger's death was haphazardly spilling over the airwaves, Michael Savage had some choice words:

This is the biggest story of the day: Shock in SoHo? Actor Heath Ledger, pills, suicide? You mean another Hollywood junkie is dead? I'm sorry, you mean that's news? News used to be "Man Bites Dog," but when another Hollywood idiot is found with a needle in his arm, is that news? I mean, you expect it, when they don't put a needle in their arm, that would be news.
...
So, what, he played in Brokenback Mountain, Bareback Mountain, whatever he was in, I forget what movie he was in. I never watched it - I'm not interested in softcore pornography, to be honest with you.
...
When I first heard Gene Autry, even though I was stuck inside the knish, I knew that there was a place outside the knish, where there was beautiful skies and bison and men who rode horses, as opposed to ersatz men who rode horses who played homosexuals who rolled in the hay together who then eventually stuck needles in their arm because they know that they had destroyed one of the true images of America in order to make a buck and they couldn't take the fact that they had sold down the river the image of the great America itself.

And that's just the Heath Ledger bit. The spew of homosexual hate and "agenda" conspiracy theories can be found elsewhere. But if John Gibson caught hell, where's the outrage about Savage?


"He's just a mean old man without a mommy!"

Did I mention his penchant for inappropriate characterizations?


Yes, this is a screenshot from his site.

Outrage would be good right about now.

Croatian Smurfs get Smurfed

What's more fun than spending your afternoon in Croatia trying to break the Guinness Book of World Records record for the largest gathering of Smurfs?



Smurfing at them from America because someone didn't do their research.

When they contacted World Guiness Book of Records to register their feat they were told they were too late.

Even though they had managed to gather 395 Smurf-a-likes in one place, this Croatian attempt to smash the record turned out to be a waste of time.

Shoddy research meant they believed they only had to get 291 'Smurfs' in one place to clinch the prized record.

However they managed to overlook one vitally important fact.

A new record had actually been set by students at Warwick University last year where they had managed to round up a grand total of 451 Smurfs.

How could this have happened? They did their research "on the internet." Ooh, beware ye research on the internet, fair Croats. Lest you spend your afternoon with a blue face for absolutely no reason at all.

I wonder if they served blue beer.

Obama and the Decriminalization of Marijuana

From the Washington Post:

But as a candidate for the U.S. Senate four years ago, Mr. Obama told Illinois college students that he supported eliminating criminal penalties for marijuana use or possession, according to a videotape of a little noticed debate that was obtained by The Washington Times.

"I think we need to rethink and decriminalize our marijuana laws," Mr. Obama told an audience during a debate at Northwestern University in 2004. "But I'm not somebody who believes in legalization of marijuana." (Play video below.)


Asked about the two different answers, Mr. Obama's presidential campaign said he in fact has "always" supported decriminalizing marijuana as he answered in 2004, meaning the candidate mistakenly raised his hand during the presidential debate last fall.

I don't smoke any more, but Obama and Clinton are so similar in so many different ways, this distinction - if verified by Obama - is an important one that highlights his dedication to progressive ideals.

I don't vote until March 4th, but every piece of information matters, and I'm looking eagerly towards the Democratic Debate this evening.

Notes on the State of the Union Address

A day late, but this is primarily pure outrage; if someone paid me a great deal of money (and by that, I mean like $1000) back in January of 2007 to concoct the most outrageous, ignorant speech - going with naive, not snarky - containing a bizarro-world amalgamation of exactly how not to run America, how not to take Americans' best interests into account, with the very distinct focus of simply pissing myself off, I could not have come up with the disastrous anger-fest that was George Bush's final State of the Union Address. I'm glad I put my daughter to bed before this yearly session of Congressional Calisthenics began because I have not shouted such foul language at the television with such frequency and vigor in a very long time.

Short short version: President Bush either has not a single damned clue as to what is happening in America and the world at large or is purposefully deluding himself and the 15% of Americans who actually believe anything that comes out of his mouth.

And now, more snark, now with more bullets!

• President Bush apparently did not get the memo about his tie: during an election year, blue = democrats.


• Nancy Pelosi showed up in a lovely washed-out mauve, was seen soon after either making fun of stroke patients or chewing the inside of her lips, and later was seen completely enveloped in what I'm guessing was a copy of the speech or a seating chart, but was entertained as a copy of the Constitution, the Official SotU Program, or the drink menu for the afterparty.


• The IRS "accepts both checks and money orders," i.e., fuck you, America, wish in one hand, shit in the other and all that, heh, heh, heh.


• Americans should have to balance a budget, the government should too. Is that before or after the creative accounting that doesn't really count the asshorde of money being shipped - sometimes in cash - over to Iraq on a daily basis?


• We need to "trust Americans" with home ownership. Actually, G, it's the trusting of Americans with ownership and letting banks run rampant over them that caused the current crisis. Tried it and it didn't work, but he wants to dump money into Ginnie Mae and Freddie Mac to exacerbate the issue just after he raised the rate for Sallie Mae loans for college that might actually result in personal betterment. But then the populace wouldn't be under the thumb of stress that they need to be in order to be properly complacent.


• "Epidemic of junk medical lawsuits." It's not an epidemic, but a perfect example of the language of people being puppeteered by Big Insurance. They've got him too! Damn you special interests!


• No Child Left Behind: "trust children to learn" and "no one can deny the results." In a way, he's right: NCLB is an unmitigated disaster, hands down; it has resulted in dumber kids who know only how to fill in bubbles - not to think - and will have less success in college because of it. You couldn't build a more dependent underclass with the faux air of betterment if you planned it that way. But maybe only Cheney knows those ropes.


• "Pell grants for kids." Stop trying to put more money in the hands of religious organizations and let's work on making K - 12 institutions of thinking and college affordable.


• "Reducing our dependence on oil." Since when? The last time he said that, it was "clarified" by complete revocation after the Saudis shouted "shenanigans." Then again, he probably primed them on his recent trip: "Hey, so I'm gonna say that oil independence bullshit again, but you gotta be all hush-hush about it, k? Not so damn loud; we've got an understanding. Hey, look at that goat humpin' that other goat, heh heh."


• "Reverse the growth of greenhouse gasses" and "combating global climate change." Unfortunately, the only thing Bush has done in the last 7 years is reverse the growth of science and combating any reports that said global warming was a reality.


• "Al Qaeda is on the run in Iraq and this enemy will be defeated." Is this a rerun? I thought this was live.


• Don't dare bring up Israel and Palestine now. You haven't given a shit in the last 7 years and this feigning sympathy is making you look like an asshat.


• "America opposes genocide in Sudan." We're just not going to do a damn thing to stop it. Ever.


• Bush dictionary: "Zimbowey" - some place in Africa where black people dance in the dirt.

This was sickening to watch and angering to listen to. The best pundit response, admittedly, came from Chris Matthews in post, who said it was like that last minute New Year's resolutions you never got around to, like "I'm gonna learn French this year."

No initiative he spoke of means anything, nor does the appearance of suddenly caring - after seven years - fool anyone into a false sense of "hey, yeah, I think he's got his shit together. I think we'll be okay until next year." We are in free fall and only the man behind the podium thinks he's sitting on the beach.

Giuliani Pulls Out, Impregnates McCain

Happy Birthday to me, and over 2 weeks early! That's right, Rudy Giuliani, the wooden-toothed professional crooner of 9/11 and all-round smug failure is prepared to pull out of the presidential race this very morning before the last Republican debate before Super Bowl Sunday and Super Tuesday. I think that somehow makes today the Ascension of Mary and places Mardi Gras firmly on the biggest primary day of the year, guaranteeing a slight booze shift to the polls and complete confusion amongst the pundits. Again. But I digress.

What could possibly make this better? Irony, of course! Rudy Giuliani will be making this announcement from the Reagan Library (where the debate will later take place), the living symbol of the dry-hump chew toy darling of the Republican Party, in order to endorse Grandpappy McCain, the only Republican running for president who - according to pundits and the talk radio faction and many Repubs - is not a Reagan Republican. Ooh, snap!

But why McCain? I can't wait for Rudy's blah-blah explanation but would like to take a pass on hearing Chris Matthews spout "Maverick" yet again. John McCain is not Tom Cruise or James Garner or Mel Gibson; it's John McCain, not John McClane, Chrissy. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

McCain's playing the game, and he's playing it well, despite his detractors on flip-flopping, inconsistency, and age. He's got Giuliani's support now and there are hints that he's going to help fluff Huckabee through Super Tuesday to keep the votes away from Romney and cinch up the nomination like his momma's corset. Can we smell a McCain Huckabee ticket? Someone light some incense; I think I'm gonna be sick.

Human Rights Campaign: Resolve

It took them quite a long time to get back to me with the embed code, but this video on human rights in America is still very relevant. From the Human Rights Campaign:

Ricky's Wisdom Today

Well, it's not particularly my wisdom per se, but wisdom that resonates with me on some level. Since the world is constantly changing and reality is always a subjective experience, it's just the wisdom "today," though feel free to hold on until something better comes along. And since it's the first installment, you get some bonus Wisdom action, because how can I introduce something new without the very roots and favorites of that something?

Now that's wise.

Today I ran into this quote and it just felt right: focused, yet sad.

Going along in company together, a wise man
Must mix with other foolish persons.
But on seeing what is wrongful he abandons them.
As a full-fledged heron leaves the marshy ground.

-Udana 8.7

Bonus? Of course. These are perhaps my most cherished quotes when it comes to my personal ideas about wisdom:

One who speaks does not know
One who knows does not speak

-- Lao Tzu - Tao Te Ching - Verse 56

I know I am God because when I pray to Him I find I am speaking to Myself.

--Peter Barnes

Put dat in your book.

Gang Bang Jesus

"I did it like this. I did it like that. I did it with a wiffle ball bat."

I was doing a search this afternoon on de money gang bang for a single reference in a little post over at ATD.

On the first page of image results, I saw this:



So my question to you is: Is Jesus helping a kid play baseball more absurd than finding the image while searching for de money gang bang, or do they combine in a sociological, post-modern mental clusterfuck that cannot truly be comprehended by our human brains without an advanced degree in philosophy and a bottle of Jameson?

Kucinich Withdraws from Presidential Race

Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

(Okay, a little overly dramatic.)

In order to focus on his Congressional re-election in November and due to very little in the way of voter support, Dennis Kucinich has pulled his name from the hat that is the Democratic Race for President. The only candidate who staunchly and always opposed the war and funding for the war - strength through peace, the only candidate who understood the evils of insurance company rule and pushed for the only not-for-profit healthcare plan, is gone from the national stage.

I'd tell you what he said in his speech, but he barely touched upon Iraq on Headline News - about 20 seconds into speaking - when they cut away. No other news station was carrying the speech or announcement.

I'd like to give you a link, but none of the news stations are reporting it, even though CNN had it's "World's End" red banner up half an hour before Fred Thompson dropped out.

No more media outlets have to vigorously work with lawyers to silence dissenting opinion, but even as he pulls out, the media have to be dicks about it.

I hope one of the three still running learned something from him, but their silence on his exclusion raises no hopes of that. And now I have to pick one of them before Ohio. This is going to take a lot of wine.

When Google's Parents Leave Home

Here's a bit from Cracked about the internets! Yay!

Military Misses Recruiting Goals Again in 2007

From NationalPriorities.com:

For the third consecutive year, the Army missed DoD benchmarks set for educational attainment and scores on the Armed Forces Qualification Test. The DoD has a goal that 90 percent of new recruits have a regular high school diploma or better.

...The proportion of active-duty Army recruits in tier 1 has dropped from 83.5 percent in 2005 to 70.7 percent in 2007. While the benchmark of 90 percent was also missed in 2005, the percentages have not been this low for at least 20 years. In 2006, the result was 73.1 percent.

Nevada with 54.1 percent, Montana with 58.2 percent, and Mississippi with 59.2 percent had the lowest percentages of recruits that were tier 1.

Considering that a high school education is the single greatest predictor of whether the investment we put in these young men and women will stick, perhaps we should take a good, hard look at the reasons people don't want to go: they're entering an endless war without the right equipment where Bushie can write "As long as I want" on their contract, regardless of what they signed. If they get physically hurt, they'll get poor care, and if they're psychologically affected by killing and seeing friends and enemies die, you'll be ignored.

Hey, maybe if we stopped feeding the military industrial complex our young men like logs into a wood chipper, fighting a war we can't win for the benefit of corporations, then maybe we wouldn't have this problem. Maybe we could focus on getting the young man or woman a GED instead of worrying that they don't have one before giving them a weapon and tossing them in the shit. Just a thought.

Notes on the Democratic South Carolina Debate, Jerry Springer and All

Honestly, at the beginning of the debate when Wolf declared that they were going to "get a real conversation going," I laughed out loud. If I only knew.

As we get down to brass tacks and Kucinich is left in the silent dust of the media deciding who we need to hear from, this review of the debate is a little more critical, especially when it comes to sunshine and roses promises and ideas.

Here's your bullets:

• Hillary's repeated call for a "moratorium" on foreclosures for 90 days: I'm calling BS. She's not going to get anything done any time soon, so it's a short-lived call for false hope for the very few people that would benefit from it; you can give a horse 90 days but that doesn't mean that they'll work things out to keep their house. Part of this foreclosure issue is that some people are not responsible enough to simply pick up the phone and try to work it out with the bank. Feeding someone 90 days will not stimulate responsibility. Some people simply shouldn't own a home.


• Someone who has and in with the Edwards campaign, please direct him to take off that eyesore of a watch; it distracted me from the already-minuscule time he was able to get his mug on screen.

Item! Upcoming Notes from Ricky Shambles

It's always good to have something to look forward to. Actually, the posts are upcoming, not the notes. Sorry for the disappointment. Well, the notes are technically upcoming, but right here. Now. Really, just below this sentence.

1. More Debate Notes Just because you can't stomach it doesn't mean you can't enjoy the gems that fall from the verbal feces on both sides! I, your loyal reporter, will be constantly monitoring the schedules, vigorously viewing the Democratic and Republican debates, and coming back to you with only the essentials. Next installment: Tomorrow. Enjoy and thank the higher power you are not me.

2. World Net Daily's January Witch Hunt I was floating about the WND site - because I'm a romantic and I need pain in my life - when my eye spied a wonderfully fey, made-up woman looking something out of A Midsummer Night's Dream or Legend and the heavy title "Witchcraft in America." It's WND's WTF January Whistleblower. Looks like some of the basic conservative rhetoric explaining that Christians think Wicca is the devil while leaving out the part of Christianity's devil-ing of anything pagan starting some 1900 years ago while only flirting with aspirations of becoming an imperialistic religion. Seems it's even more terrifying now, though, because soldiers - God help us, soldiers - are worshiping overseas (implied: Christians > Muslims > Pagans). Anyway, I'll be chipping in my $7.50 for you, yes, you, so I can read it, become outraged, and you, too can be outraged and save almost $10. That's the kind of guy I am.

3. Best to Come: Creation Museum Holy crap, I found out in the last month or two that, here in Cincinnati, I live a river crossing from one of the biggest and bestest and well-funded Creation Museums in the region. I giggle at the prospect and get butterflies knowing that in the next 3 weeks, I will be attending, and I will be blogging. There will be snark. There will be pictures. And we can we can all have a good laugh at Intelligent Design as notScience.

I'll keep knocking out the posts until the last of you lingers nevermore. Thanks for your time!

How to Ruin YouTube

You've seen what Christians can do to reality in the Conservapedia (insanity level has dulled some since it kicked off about a year ago), and now you can see how Christians can ruin YouTube.

You guessed it: GodTube!

You've got Trunk Deacon, Christian Movie trailers, and my horrifyingly favorite: Making Zombies Young (embedded for her pleasure). The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not drool.



"Holy Shit!" is right. Christ on a bun, and all that. Damn.

FOX Attacks: Veterans

Do something.

Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act

Kiss your First Amendment rights goodbye.

I first heard the alarm on this under-the-radar bill that has already flown through the House and is sitting in the Senate as S.1959 by Kate Chase over at ATD.

Mike Adams at NewsTarget.com has a comprehensively terrifying look at the bill and all the contact information you could need. Here's a clip:

The bill states:

‘...ideologically based violence’ means the use, planned use, or threatened use of force or violence by a group or individual to promote the group or individual’s political, religious, or social beliefs...

Note that this means the "planned use of force to promote a political or social belief" would be considered an act of terrorism. This all hinges on the definition of "force," of course. Based on the loose use of logic in Washington these days, and the slippery interpretation of the meaning of words, "force" could mean:

• A grassroots campaign to barrage Congress with faxes
• A non-violent street protest
• A letter-writing campaign that deluges the Senate with too much mail
• A sit-in protest that blocks access to a business or organization
• A grassroots e-mail campaign that overloads the e-mail servers of any government department or agency

You get the idea. "Force" could be defined as practically anything. And since the "planned use of force" would be considered a criminal act of terrorism, anyone who simply thinks about a grassroots action campaign would be engaged in terrorist acts.

If this bill passes, any blogger - especially me - who has and will continue to rant against the current administration could be taken off to jail for voicing my opposition. Voice yours before it's too late.

Put on your boots, and get busy kickin' or get busy shakin'.

Why Huckabee Burns My Biscuits

In a recent interview, he said this:

Well, I don’t think that’s a radical view to say we’re going to affirm marriage. I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal.

According to Huck, homosexuality = polygamy = pedophilia = bestiality.

No one who still spouts this ignorance is fit to be our president.

Drudge's Rank: Misleading and Malodorous

I read the Drudge Report every day because it's a delicious slushpile of all things evil and conservative. Today, Matt Drudge released his periodic "I'm so damned awesome!" rankings by Hitwise Media Weekly Report:

The Rankings



And if this blog were #9 on a media list, on par with FOX News for internet traffic, I'd be peeing my pants and shouting from the mountaintops too. But Matt Drudge is fiddling in trickery and blindly fooling millions.

Here's a logic puzzle: How does Matt Drudge, with one single web page (and the occasional all-caps DEVELOPING page), gain parity with the FOX News website, which has thousands of pages of varying news?

What Is Actually Being Measured

What are being measured are "hits," and that means that any time you or any person goes to Matt Drudge's front page, it registers a hit. If you visit again later that day, another hit, etc. It does not measure each individual visitor, which is a viable and available statistic, but every time the page is accessed.

The Trickery

The trickery occurs in two ways:

1. The Back Button: When you go to Drudge's site and click on a link, instead of opening another window or tab, you are taken to that page. Read the story and want to see another one? Back button to Drudge's site, log another hit. Rinse and repeat. This can easily ring up 10-20+ hits by just one person in a matter of minutes.


2. Refresh Code: I won't go into the techie details, but Drudge's site has a javascript code built into the page that will automatically refresh the page every three minutes, each time accessing the page again, each time clocking another hit. Basically, this means that if you go to Drudge's site and just leave the page open in a browser window or tab, you will tally 20 hits/hour for the site by doing nothing at all.

But How Do I Fight Such Kung Fu?

Like a ninja, of course. Here's what I do to avoid giving Mr. Drudge hits he does not deserve:

1. Go to the Drudge Report.


2. Hold down the CTRL key.


3. Quickly scan and click the stories you would like to read - using Firefox, this opens the stories in new tabs while keeping Drudge in the current window. I believe Internet Explorer works the same way.


4. As soon as you're done, close the Drudge window.


5. Leisurely browse the other stories.

If you're a quick reader/clicker, you can probably get this done without a single refresh, only logging one hit for Mr. Drudge.

Happy browsing!

Michael Savage Loves His Hate

This is Michael Savage:

Radio host Michael Savage is using frivolous lawsuits to bully those who try to expose his vicious hate speech.

Michael Savage is suing CAIR for posting a clip of his hate speech on their site. His frivolous lawsuit claims "copyright infringement" because the CAIR site featured a "donate" button.

In defense of free speech, we're posting the same clip next to our own donate button.

Click the above link to see and listen to more examples of Michael Savage's hate speech.

Quick note: what Michael Savage says is biased, ugly, and ignorant and I have a very difficult time listening to him. But it is free speech, isn't it? If you don't like it, tell him. If you don't like it, don't listen. If you don't like it, don't support his sponsors. But do we drive him from the air? Personally, I'd rather have the assbag on a pedestal where I can keep a close eye on him.

(nosavage.org is organized by Brave New Films)

Mercury Rising by MESSENGER

MESSENGER has its first look at Mercury:



This is the first time anyone has seen Mercury like this. Evar. It gets me all giddy. And this is just a flyby. MESSENGER will fall into permanent orbit in 2011 and get pictures that will make me weep. Check out the MESSENGER Page for a much, much bigger version.

(h/t to Bad Astronomy)

Bush and Abdullah - Strange Bedfellows

Note: All images pulled from CNN video

In the past couple days, President Bush has toured the Middle East, beginning with the first time in 7 years as a president that he's ever been to Israel. Personally, I wouldn't count that as genuine concern, but when you're drumming up support for the invasion of Iran, you've gotta take the big boy pill and cross the pond.



Luckily, Bush made it to Saudi Arabia, where he was promptly given a saber to properly rattle. Doesn't this look like an action shot from a community theatre production of Lawrence of Arabia: The Musical?



Bush also gets a "Special Person's Robe," and he's so proud of himself, walking down the aisle like on graduation. Incidentally, that is the definition of "shit-eating grin."



There was quite a lot of hand-holding through the discussion process; kisses were in private. And often.



UPDATE: Told you. Caught in that final, tingling, anticipatory second. Mmmm.




Nothing like losing yourself in some tea post-coitus...



...and seeing what "hung like a horse" is supposed to mean.

All in all, it looks like it was a successful trip. The President just hopes that Abdullah will call, or else it's...


...you know.

Notes on the Nevada Democratic Debate

The more the pool of NBC-sanctioned candidates shrinks, the more tragically boring the debates get. I'd write a mathematical equation, but let's just say that this one sucked the most so far.

Short summary: Kucinich was punked, Everybody loves each other, no one has a true weakness, Hillary uses ninja attack once, and Chris Matthews is still an asshat.

Let's itemize, shall we?

• Kucinich drama summary: NBC says "Hey, join us!" then says "Oops, hey forget about that thing we said." Dennis sues and appeals court says "Heck yeah you should be there" and minutes before the debate the Nevada Supreme Court says "No dice." NBC should be ashamed; the American people (and maybe the other candidates?) should at least act like they care.


• Everyone plays nice: the media-spewed race issue is no longer an issue. Yay! But toned-down issue foreshadowing of excitement level of rest of 2 hours. Boo.


• The people will elect whomever will effect change and says No to lobbyists and everyone on stage likes each other and "I agree" and "I respect" and - can we cut the damned oral sex daisy chain and maybe discuss why one of you is better than the other?


• Obama started the debate with his signature "Uhm"s but softened it towards Hillary's "ah" pronunciation by the end.


• Edwards was dang proud of flapping his arms to conjure up the word "fervently." It was tremendous.


• Edwards states that thousands of Americans come to Nevada every day to find the Promise of America. Gambling on a shot at unearned cash winnings is the American Dream? He later claims he meant people looking for work, moving to Nevada, but if population growth from 2000 to 2006 is any indication, daily average increase was a little over 200 people. So he was wrong, or he meant gambling. Or hookers.


• John Edwards constantly wears an obnoxiously large black K-Mart watch that, in its enormity, refuses to be hidden under his clothing. What the hell?


• Obama's greatest weakness is that he has a messy desk, Edwards cares too much, and Hillary pushes too hard. Were these answers given at a job interview, the interviewer would've replied "Okay, thanks. We'll let you know." Wait; this is a job interview.


• Hillary takes a double whack at Obama and Edwards on Yucca Mountain, attacking like a ninja; Obama is afraid to hit a girl; Edwards attacks, but amidst cries for relevance, appears to be tossing cream pies. Yes, I just called John Edwards a clown. And yes, he amuses me.


• Hillary is "against illegal guns." That's probably a good thing. For all things that are illegal.


• Post debate: Chris Matthews exploded onto the screen declaring Hillary the hands-down winner, amazed at her performance, talking like she's already the Democratic candidate, and "playing on the varsity team." The rest of the MSNBC team tried to calm him down, to no avail (at least poor Olbermann didn't have to be in the same room with him this round). Why is this disaster still on television?

I was bored. I was tired. And nothing happened. As soon as one candidate picked up on a topic, the others picked up and agreed. Iraq was equalized between them on nuance, everyone's for the economy, against the current administration and all the Republican candidates. So how to decide?

Personally, I think I'm still pushing for Dennis through the primary (Kate and I are voting on the same day - how fun!), but you've got three choices.

1. Stick to your original, gut reaction, even if they're not going to win the primary in your state.


2. Base your choice on experience, once you define for yourself what type of experience matters and how much of that experience each candidate has.


3. If you're looking for most presidential, while the misguided, obnoxious rantings of Matthews were unprofessional, he was not entirely off base: last night, Hillary looked and spoke like the leader, flanked by her seconds.


4. Base your choice on the woman, the African-American, or the rich white guy who was poor as a kid.

Cheers!

Kucinich and Democratic Reindeer Games

a.k.a., Shotgun Debate in Nevada. From the LA Times:

A Nevada judge said Monday that Democratic presidential candidate Dennis J. Kucinich must be included in today's candidate debate in Nevada.

Senior Clark County District Judge Charles Thompson said if Kucinich was excluded, he would issue an injunction stopping the televised debate.

The judge sided with a lawyer for the Ohio congressman, who said MSNBC invited Kucinich to take part and then told him that he couldn't.

"We disagree with the judge's decision and are filing an appeal," said a statement provided by Jeremy Gaines, a communications vice president for MSNBC.

He said the network would seek an immediate hearing before the Nevada Supreme Court.

MSNBC says they billed the debate as only the top 3 candidates, but I can swear I saw a promo for the "showdown" debate featuring Bill Richardson's mug before he removed himself from the race.

MSNBC, there are two options here: Say "oops" and set up a fourth podium or scramble to the Nevada Supreme Court and make complete asses of yourselves on a national stage to prove just how far you will go to silence minority opinion.

Davis Fleetwood has some excellent summary information about the story so far, GE (NBC's parent company) and war profiteering, and contact information for NBC and the DNC - and his live calls to those organizations.

The Hungry Boy in the Back

I was able to pull one quote out of the post-debate interview with Fred Thompson, but at that point, quickly became entranced by the drama that had been unfolding in the background. Yes, I know I'm going to hell.



I just really hope that poor kid had some cake at home.

Notes on the FOX News Republican South Carolina Debate

Ugh, *gasp*, ...burnout - 2 more Republican Debates, 3 more Democratic Debates before the conventions. This is getting tired.

So for those of you who don't want to dig down into the bullet points, here's the short short version: McCain drones racist, Thompson whips Huckabee, Huckabee says "gates of hell," Romney can't say "Ahmadinejad," everybody laughs at Ron Paul, no one will acknowledge what a benchmark in Iraq is, and the flashy background lights and Wendell Goler's tie distracted viewers from all of it.

Oh, and Ronald Reagan.



...and here's those witty bullet points you all so love:

• While I'm glad to see that they haven't shut out Ron Paul for good, I'm disturbed by the recent reports of decades of racist newsletters published under his name.


• The anti-Huckabee ad never showed. :(


• McCain's tone is so droning that he rendered 30% of the FOX audience comatose and paramedics lined up stage left should he slip into a coma himself.


• Note to Giuliani: "oversuing" is not a word or a reality - the only people who want tort reform are the medical insurance companies and the tools who are wrapped around their various appendages.


• Thompson with the big guns, goes down the line on why Huckabee's version of the Reagan Coalition is the policy of the Democratic Party. Ooh, snap. Too bad he's about 4 months too late in gaining a pulse.


• Huckabee on Iran pseudo-scuffle: The enemy should set their sites on the American ship, then know that the next thing they will see "will be the gates of Hell." Did you really just...yes you did.


• Distractions - Stop the twinkle lights in the background and tell Wendell Goler to tone down the Zebra Stripe Gum tie. I'm trying to watch a debate, not slip into an epileptic fit. Granted, with McCain's monotone, it was one of the few things keeping me conscious.


• Ron Paul points out the Bush Administration's saber-rattling, how they were disappointed in the NIE, and how we need to be way careful before pushing the Iran Go button. Hume makes snide comment about direct question he had asked another candidate and everyone has a laugh at Ron Paul. Ron Paul is apparently not in the Ronald Reagan Club.


• Note to Romney: If you want to be The Leader of the Free World, you might want to practice the names of other leaders in the world, like "Ahmadinejad."


• Note to McCain as old-fashioned sexist: it's not 1953 anymore. Time appoints a "Person of the Year," not "Man of the Year."


• Note McCain as new-world racist: Saying you don't want to trade with Al Qaeda because they only want to trade burqas, and don't want to travel with them because they only buy one-way tickets might be seen as inflammatory to anyone with a sense for such things. Ass.


• McCain has "the greatest respect and affection for" Giuliani. Did you mean "admiration" or can we look forward to a the McCain/Giuliani version of Madonna/Britney. Pop culture nuance note: McCain will also French kiss Thompson; no one will remember.


• Carl Cameron to Ron Paul: "Electability...do you have any?" Carl Cameron is a dick.


• Nitpicking Huckabee on referencing Hispanics as "some of the ones." Some might see that as dehumanizing minorities. Non-whites are people too.


• Thompson's post interview summed up the overall view of how the Iraq Surge is a winner: "The only benchmark is success." I would've gone with the 9/18 benchmarks; at least there you get 50%.

So another debate dies and we breathe deeply before January 15th's Democratic debate, if it's aired. I guess I'll figure that out by then. Cheers!

Republican Debate, Huckabee Gets Spanked

Huckabee will be a part of the Republican debate tonight, but he'll have to contend with the fact that this scorcher will be viewed during a break:



Nice.

Limbaugh, Liberals, Race, and Ron Paul

Today on his show, that preternaturally epic bag of douche, Rush Limbaugh, was in a tizzy. He attempted to veil it, but his shouts that something happened, he didn't know what, but Democrats better find out what it was rang only of "The polls said Hillary wouldn't win! Kryptonite! Somebody whine with me!" And his manhood, it shrunk - two more sizes - that day.

Rush then went on to explain to his attentive sheep that the liberals are horribly disorganized and completely terrified that there might actually be a "woman" or "black" nominated for the presidency. Why would Rush say such a thing? According to the El-Rusho, Conservatives are the inclusive folks, and us Liberals are the real closet racists and sexists. And according to him, we're scared as hell that a woman or black might get the nomination. Incidentally, we also don't believe that elections are about issues, but about posturing and marketing. And we killed Baby Jesus (no, he didn't say that).

Mr. Limbaugh then vaulted into Hillary getting teary-eyed, how calculated it was, and the Oprahization of the country, a term he apparently coined along with every other pop culture reference.

But the segue here departs from the tirades of the over-medicated conservative medium to the issue of race and how it applies to Ron Paul, the net-roots juggernaut candidate of the Republican Party. As James Kirchick of The New Republic states, "If you are a critic of the Bush administration, chances are that, at some point over the past six months, Ron Paul has said something that appealed to you."

Well, he does want to end the illegal war against Iraq...

But before Ron Paul entered the world of politics, he published many, many newsletters, newsletters that "were published under a banner containing Paul's name, and the articles (except for one special edition of a newsletter that contained the byline of another writer) seem designed to create the impression that they were written by him."

Who wants excerpts?

• On the LA Riots: "Order was only restored in L.A. when it came time for the blacks to pick up their welfare checks three days after rioting began."


• "America's number one need is an unlimited white checking account for underclass blacks."


• 1992 Bulls Celebration: "blacks poured into the streets of Chicago in celebration. How to celebrate? How else? They broke the windows of stores to loot."


• On MLK Day: "What an infamy Ronald Reagan approved it!" one newsletter complained in 1990. "We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day."


• "One newsletter ridiculed black activists who wanted to rename New York City after King, suggesting that 'Welfaria,' 'Zooville,' 'Rapetown,' 'Dirtburg,' and 'Lazyopolis' were better alternatives."

I think that's enough.

Please read the article for the rest of the foul story. And never again equate Ron Paul with the ideals of Dennis Kucinich or anyone else who actually has the welfare of all people in America in their heart.

FreeCreditReport.com: Fuck You

Aside from the obvious Pastafarian upside, here's the spot:



The bepirated teller of this sad, catchy tale explains that he had his ID stolen. Said misfortune has somehow caused him to forgo his chosen vocation in order to take up waiting tables at some Long-John's-Lobster-esque joint. However, the decrepit crooner relates, if he had gone to FreeCreditReport.com (and apparently enrolled in the Triple Advantage version of the program which runs $15/mo), he would've "seen it coming like an atom bomb."

The pirate job, while snazzy, doesn't relate to ID theft. Is this an extra job? Why? If you shred your important documents, have a reasonable firewall, and aren't pissing your information all over the goddamned internets, ID theft is relatively rare. Hell, LifeLock is only $10/mo and that stops a life hack cold. This commercial doesn't make sense!

Round 2:



Here we have the same, unfortunate schlep, this time he has married his "dream girl," but did not know her credit was bad before going through with the nuptials. He then states that if he had gone to the aforementioned website and apparently pulled divining rods out of his ass (because you check your credit there, not someone else's), he would have seen that she had bad credit, kicked the woman with whom he has chosen to spend his life's skanky ass to the curb, and now be living in some masturbatory fantasy world where a single-income guy who can't afford to buy a house with the aid of his wife's income could somehow afford not only a house, but a dog as well, if that interest rate was just a couple points lower. Poor son of a bitch is now doublefucked, as you can see his accursed pirate hat in the foreground. This commercial doesn't make any fucking sense either!

So why all the goddamning and fucking? I listen to television all day - mostly Headline News. One of these two commercials appears repeatedly during the day on most stations (Time Warner buy, no doubt) to the point not just where it's not just "stuck in my head," but I dream these songs and hear them vividly playing upon waking. And my daughter sings them.

"Well, Ricky, you're just giving in to the what the advertisers want you to do," you say.

No shit. I love you all, but in my viral-induced misery, I sneeze on you. Share my hell.

Glenn Beck Had Ass Surgery

I posted Glenn's YouTube video Sunday and I've listened to the radio show (now I'm subscribed to Beck and Hannity...sheesh) and watched the Headline News spot, which both covered roughly the same items:

• "Ass surgery" gone "awry"


• Woke up under anesthesia


• Cocktail of Morphine, Phentanol, Toradol, Percocet, Synthetic Morphine Drip for pain


• While some good doctors/nurses, he was often treated poorly, ignored, and looked at as nothing more than a number


• "Don't talk to me about health care, don't talk to me about HMO's" until you can talk about compassion, until folks involved in health care start seeing people as human beings


• Med cocktail brought darkness, drained hope, caused hallucinations of grotesque death and children having their faces chewed off by dogs


• On his TV show, discussed putting the Care back in healthcare, how insurance-based systems are big part of problem, and about the over-medication of Americans: better living through pharmaceuticals

I don't wish this experience on any human being and do feel compassion for Glenn Beck. Unfortunately, it usually takes a negative experience - although not nearly as horrid as this one - to open our eyes to the sad state of American health care.

The "I hate Michael Moore and America's teh bestest" argument does not stand and it shouldn't be such a partisan issue; all Americans suffer because the insurance companies in charge of us receiving health care make money by not allowing us to get health care. It is broken. For everyone.

And if you'd like to pull this into our current election process, Dennis Kucinich is the only candidate who thinks insurance companies should not be in charge of our health care. If he does not win, we need to make it clear to whomever does that insurance company-run, profit-based health care is not an option.

If they don't care about a nationally-syndicated radio and television host, do you really think they give a shit about you?

Update Note: ABC's Good Morning America had Glenn on this morning where he shared his story again, this time with his wife (video at link). But I couldn't help notice the banner posted above the story:



Yes, that's Pfizer's logo on the right. Today, Glenn Beck's medical and pharmaceutical horror story was sponsored by a keystone of the very industry that caused it.

Brave New Films in New Hampshire

If you're tired of the mass media telling us how to think about the elections and the results of the elections, give Brave New Films Live Online Coverage a try. They're currently taking live suggestions and comments about what they should discuss/address for the evening. Current lineup is as follows:

7:10: Robert Greenwald, Brave New Films
7:40: Matthew Yglesias, The Atlantic
7:50: Robin Abcarian, L.A. Times
8:00: Billy Wimsatt, League of Young Voters
8:10: Rachel Sklar, The Huffington Post
8:20: Jane Hamsher, Firedoglake
8:30: Jim Dean, Democracy For America
8:40: Steve Clemons, The Washington Note
9:00: Lane Hudson, News for the Left
9:10: Isaiah Poole, TomPaine.com
9:40: James Rucker, Color of Change
10:00: Liza Sabater, Culture Kitchen
10:10: Eric Boehlert, Media Matters

Help support independent media and not, like I just heard on Headline News, extrapolation of New Hampshire Primary results based on how Dixville Notch, NH - with 17 voters - fared. FOX News too:

McCain with 4 votes, Mitt Romney with 2 votes, Rudy Giuliani with 1 vote. Those were the only Republican votes cast.

On the Democratic side, Obama won a landslide 7 votes compared with 2 for John Edwards, one for Bill Richardson and none for Hillary Clinton.

That's right: "a landslide 7 votes." WTF?

Of course, I'll be suckling from the teat of the mass media because someone's got to let you know the outrages that seep from their assuming, power-addled minds. Remember to be discerning while listening, and to decode while digesting.

Kucinich in New Hampshire

Davis Fleetwood reporting.

Glenn Beck on Monday

As I posted Friday, Glenn Beck's had a bad experience with American Medicine, and he's hinting at naming names and spouting compassion for the Average Joe.

I will listen. I will watch. I will report.

Glenn Beck can be heard on the radio at 9am Monday morning on local stations and seen on CNN's Headline News Monday night at 7pm EST.

Glenn Beck's Taste of American Health Care

And then Glenn's like OMG, "horribly awry" surgery, American medicine might not care about average Joe...understands compassion..."full fledged suicidal." I am not going to disrespect a man who's obviously gone through a pretty harsh ordeal with comeuppance, but what the hell is going on?

One thing's for sure: Monday will be something to tune into, radio and television as it were.


(h/t to TVNEWSER on Media Bistro)

Altering the Mind and the Human Condition

I am still getting hits and - surprisingly - comments on that long ago post "Marijuana Duck Duck Goose" where I blogged about a study that took the chemical in marijuana that makes you paranoid, administered it to subjects, and, surprise, it made them paranoid.

Most of the trickling comments are of the same variety as before:

- OMG, my friend smelled weed and totally went schizo!
- OMG, my friend's a doctor and gets high every day!
- OMG, pharmaceutical companies are the devil!

I'm making a generalization, not a commentary about my commenters; I love you all.

Except this one showed up in the post today:

Honestly, you kind of fail at life if you need a drug.

Based on the rest of what Anonymous had to say, I'm guessing his/her comment excludes caffine, energy drinks, nicotine, alcohol, and any OTC or pharmaceutical drug obtained and used legally with a doctor's prescription...except marijuana. Aside from the naive nearsightedness of the comment, I thought I'd take a moment to comment on the human condition and how it relates to altered consciousness.

When we are children with our first few handholds on reality, what is it we do? We alter it. We spin around until we can't stand up straight, feel sick, then do it again. We beg Mom or Dad to throw us up in the air and go down the slide 500 times because of the way it makes our tummy feel. We speed away on our bikes and get on the tallest roller coasters. We jog for the runner's high and meditate to take reality down a notch. We sleep to rejuvenate, dream to process, daydream to escape.

The legal stuff can speed us up, slow us down, numb us, and put us out, even permanently. The illegal stuff can take it a step further by altering our perception of sensory stimuli and time or simply ramping up the effects of the legal stuff.

But whether we seek enlightenment in a quiet mind or an expanded mind, whether we seek to touch God through a bag of shrooms or by speaking in tongues and dancing with snakes, whether we are looking to enhance or numb the experience of life, or are just plain addicted to the effects of a particular drug, human beings have grown tired of reality: we get it already.

And to say that anyone has "failed at life" because they have decided - for whatever reason - to lift the velvet rope, open a couple doors, and go beyond the nickel tour that comes with the ride is ignorant, naive, and sad. For the rest of us: do what you will, though you harm none, and happy exploring.

Message from Elizabeth Kucinich

Worth the minute of your time. Enjoy.
(See how I didn't mention how smoking hot - damn. Nevermind.)


[Alternative YouTube Link]

Kucinich in the Oval Office

And this is how he'd do it...

New Year's Kittens

A day late, but yes, I said New Year's Kittens:


[Alternative YouTube Link]

The Pope Mentally Masturbates on Marriage

On December 30th, 2007, the Emperor Pope said

we celebrate the mystery of a God Who chose to be born of a woman, the Blessed Virgin, and to enter this world in the same way as all mankind. Thus He sanctified the family, filling it with divine grace and fully revealing its vocation and its mission

First we have "the mystery of a God Who chose to be born of a woman." C'mon, now. So God, who supposedly designed the entire universe, specifically how things are born and "enter this world" chose to reference his own blueprint when he decided to pop in for a visit. That's a real head-scratcher.

Secondly, "thus he sanctified the family." By impregnating an unmarried woman against her will and forcing a shotgun wedding to a man who was not the father, God showed us what the family is all about? WTF? And while it does fit a modern profile of the family unit, the Pope and Republican leaders in this country are so focused on preventing people of the same sex who truly love each other from getting married that they are blatantly blind to the fact that the current, standard version of the institution is frostbitten, rife with gangrene, and slowly dissolving in its own juices.

But I guess it is part of the human condition to fantasize about and elevate something that you can never have or be a part of. Pope Benedict XVI, you're so emo.

MySpace IMPACT Pre-primary Primary

Yay voting! Stay in and vote. Now.

MySpace is holding an online primary starting 1/1/08 and running to 1/2/08 at 11:59pm. Choose a party, choose a candidate, then take the exit poll.

Make your voice heard.