Sweet, Sweet, Political Lovin'

Just in case you've been voraciously reading and wondering about the density of my delicious, political snark and where it may have relocated to, here's a list of the last 3 days of posts I've made over at All Things Democrat:

Same as It Ever Was: Bush, McCain BFF

Limbaugh Stratigeries for Tuesday II

Notes On Superduperlicious Tuesday II

Oh, What the Hell Now? A Darker Obama?

My Primary Voting Experience in Ohio

Oh, the Conservative Confumanity

That Matt Santos Quote

FCC Official Wants Probe of “60 Minutes” Blackout

Party Jumping, Sham Voting in Ohio

Stop on over and say hello!

I got fancy and linked those directly. Yes, dance class is still just the deal of Little Shambles.

Wanderin' the Desert, Trippin' Balls

Dude, that guy's not even on a mountain! I'm so fuckin' high!

From Reuters:

The biblical Israelites may have been high on a hallucinogenic plant when Moses brought the Ten Commandments down from Mount Sinai, according to a new study by an Israeli psychology professor.

Writing in the British journal Time and Mind, Benny Shanon of Jerusalem's Hebrew University said two plants in the Sinai desert contain the same psychoactive molecules as those found in plants from which the powerful Amazonian hallucinogenic brew ayahuasca is prepared.
...
Some biblical scholars were unimpressed. Orthodox rabbi Yuval Sherlow told Israel Radio: "The Bible is trying to convey a very profound event. We have to fear not for the fate of the biblical Moses, but for the fate of science."

Exactly, because 4000 year old stories, originally passed on orally then written and copied and translated are much more plausible than quantifiable, proof-worthy reality. Every damn time, you dirty, measuring, meddling scientists!

McSame as Bush

Pulled from Think Progress, and as good as the title.

Primary Pundits: Shut the Hell Up

It's almost 5pm here in Southern Ohio. The polls don't even close for two and a half hours here. But I've been listening to who and what and how and what if since 7am this morning. And it's only going to get worse.

Today's Ohio's Primary (along with Texas, Vermont, and Rhode Island).

In general, the right wing radio nuts are all over the place criticizing Obama and Hillary and McCain, with lots of "what's wrong" and not so much on the "here's what we need to do." I've heard their listeners admit to voting Hillary, Obama, Ron Paul, Thompson, and even Zell Miller. Heads in asses, all of them, and what will be the root cause of much poll reading confusion later in the evening.

Us crazy Liberals are split between Obama and Hillary. Advantages, disadvantages, meh. It's probably going to swell in one direction or the other, but which way it will go depends on thousands of undecideds across the state of Ohio making that decision while standing in the booth, based on some mix of psychology of what font the names are printed in matched with memories of their last impression of each candidate.

Point being, everyone has an opinion about how to read what's going to happen tonight. But there are too many variables. And while I secretly salivate at the potentials and permutations in reality that this evening may bring, it's all gibberish. I would get as much insight to the process and results as if I glued myself to the PS2 for the next 3 hours.

Anyway, it's about 5pm right now. Time to watch that ass clown Tim Russert. Cheers!

Ricky's Wisdom Today - 3/3/08

While volunteering my time with Mrs. Shambles this past weekend at Little Shambles cotillion (basically, a bunch of 5th and 6th graders dressed up and dancing simplified versions of classic ballroom dances), I was reminded about this quote which I first read in one of my favorite books of quotes, The Dark Side: Thoughts on the Futility of Life from the Ancient Greeks to the Present

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

- Eric Hoffer

Amen.

Whorelore: A Warcraft-Inspired Porn Series

Did you just say -? Yes. Yes, I did.



I don't often write about the adult film industry, but when a well-known industry man named Dez starts Whorelore: Swords, Sorcery, and Sex (Whorecraft was *cough* contested), my elfin ears perk up. Who doesn't think elf chicks are hot - I mean, this is high art?

Who am I kidding? This is Dungeons and Dragons porn at it's ...only? Looks like it. The YouTube preview is teasingly scantily clad, but safe for work in that it's void of nipples, dicks, asses, and clits.



There's not much more I can say about it without sounding kind of creepy. I have not actually watched the series and have no plans to do so. But I thought it was interesting enough to post about, you know, as a service to you, the reader.

Interview with the filmmaker at Village Voice via BoingBoing. (Thank you!).

The Most Spoiled Girl in the World

Yes, this is real. I guess my daughter's not even close to spoiled.

Andrew Wilkow: My New Pain in the Ass

(Actually, it's more like my new aneurysm.)

As I've mentioned repeatedly, I listen to the right wing radio folks because, well, it's important to know what they're up to (e.g., Rush Limbaugh is pushing for Republicans to vote for Hillary Clinton tomorrow, March 4th [all primaries are some form of "open"], to keep the competition going and force a crippling rift in the Democratic party with no majority at the convention.)

I thought I'd been seasoned by Limbaugh and Hannity, tempered by Savage and Levin, but Mrs. Shambles got me Sirius Radio for my birthday (*kiss*) and with it came something I was not prepared for: Andrew Wilkow.

The first time I listened to The Wilkow Majority on channel 144 (Noon - 3pm), I could only listen intermittently. After two weeks, more often than not I can make it through all 3 hours. I don't know if the show is more audacious because Wilkow's trying to prove he's one of the big boys or because he's on uncensored radio, but when he's done at 3 and Sean Hannity comes on, I am tremendously relieved; it's like I can breathe again.

Why is Andrew Wilkow burnin' my biscuits? Some of the stuff is the same: Global warming is a sham (featuring "Stop Global Whining" by the Right Brothers), and liburlz r devuls, and general ignorance spouting like Hey, Nazism is a left wing thing and we want to take Israel dry so Repubs can't even be racist; Democrats don't care about the Blacks. But that's just a paraphrase.

Today's rantings were especially egregious and prompted the post because of two things. Let's start with the quote while talking about ethanol:

Mexicans can't afford their tortillas anymore. ...guess they'll just have to eat Wonder bread like the rest of us.

Who the fuck talks like that?

The other notable remark was the automobile ignorance that I thought died ten years ago: 'Merican cars are made in America and if you buy foreign cars, th'r takin' r'jobs! This is such bullshit. Specifically, Andrew was talking about how an Obama sticker on a foreign car is an oxymoron because he makes sure all his stuff is American-made, blah-blah, self-aggrandizing autoerotica.

The truth is that it is impossible to find an "American" car in which all the parts of that car are manufactured and assembled in America. And if you're talking just about the actual assembly of the vehicle, let's talk about Toyota for a second, where plants are located in Huntsville, Alabama; Georgetown, Kentucky; Princeton, Indiana; San Antonio, Texas; Buffalo, West Virginia; and a new one being built in Blue Springs, Mississippi. Heck, some of those are actually shipped back over to Japan! So there are clearly plenty of "foreign cars" that are manufactured and assembled right here in the good old USA.

And I'm sure there is more ignorance to follow, more thinly-veiled bigotry to come, and more reasons for me to pop a Motrin or two in the middle of the afternoon.

Chez Pazienza, Fired From CNN for Blogging

Chez Pazienza was an accomplished producer for CNN with many years in the television industry. In 2006, he began blogging under his own name. To his surprise, the CNN "internal affairs" folks dug up his name and HR canned him. This is a couple days old, but if you haven't read his article at the Huffington Post, you need to read it. Now.

Too many times in today's economy, people are simply fired for convenience and the words that come out of HR's mouth could be just about anything, whether they made it up or keep it in a book they keep in a vault. Having worked in the television industry alongside producers like Chez, having a father from the same background, I can honestly say I feel for him; it's a barbaric business, as savage as the African savannas, and as devious as Dick Cheney and Carl Rove.

CNN fired me, and did it without even a thought to the power that I might wield as an average person with a brain, a computer, and an audience. The mainstream media doesn't believe that new media can embarrass them, hurt them or generally hold them accountable in any way, and they've never been more wrong.

I wish him luck.

March 19th Iraq War Blogswarm

It kind of speaks for itself. On March 19th, it's been 5 years since we illegally invaded Iraq. Over a million bodies have piled up because of this single action. Tune in on March 19th here at Cause for Concern and visit the official March 19th Iraq War Blogswarm Blog to see the other posts on this historic, sad day. Reminder is in the column on the left. We've also got everyone at All Things Democrat on board and will be posting there about it too. This is going to be big. Check the Blogswarm Blog link above to see the other folks involved.

As of this posting, over 150 blogs are part of this wondrousness, and 3,973 American troops have died because of our part in Iraq.

Death and Taxes ...and, mmm Beer

I started this post as a basic Tavern Tax thing, but realized quickly that I've got a couple more updates to make thanks to my "Read it Later" thing.

Tavern Tax

What goes better together than taxes and alcohol? Nothing, really; Mrs. Shambles and I kill two bottles every year prepping our taxes.

And now you can go to the pub. And get your taxes done. No, I'm not joking.

TavernTax.com is currently arranging events at local taverns, but so far it looks pretty local to NJ, oddly enough.

Spray the Riders

I saw this on Reuters the other day:

Indonesian commuters riding on the roofs of trains will be sprayed with colored liquid so that security officers can identify and arrest them, a report said Saturday.

Good job, Indonesia! Your inadequate public transportation has caused a problem and instead of trying to remedy the problem by expanding said public transportation system, you're going to visibly criminalize people who are risking their very lives to get to work every day.

I hope your economy poops on you.

Imagining the 10th Dimension

Rob Bryanton is friggin' hot, and I don't mean in the sexy way that makes me look at men with a wink and a nod.

Imagining the 10th Dimension is a book written by said hot author, but also a completely accessible site that will walk you through the mental exercises you may need to see what String Theory is talking about with multiple dimensions.

This is violently mind-expanding and probably needs several hits; honestly, after being through it twice (and after reading A Brief History of Time and The Universe in a Nutshell), I'm still struggling. Brilliant. Must-read.

In Brief: Jim Ogonowski

Jim Ogonowski is running for congress on the Repub ticket, running to "retire John Kerry," running to end wasteful spending, blah blah [insert typical Republican bullshit here].



Quick note to Jim:

Hey. You. Yes, you. Fat Shatner. I hope you lose.

The Whitest Kids U Know: Totally Gay for America

I don't know if you've seen The Whitest Kids U Know on IFC, but it's the funniest sketch comedy I've seen since The Kids in the Hall. This is called "The America Song."

Name 'n' Date: Jimmy 1972

Yay! Something New!

It's not complicated, but it is fun. Here's the setup: I go to Google Image Search, enter a first name and a date and pick the image I like the best. Boosh! The image only has to be the end result of the search, too; it may be an image on a page that came from the GIS. Let's get it on.

Jimmy 1972



What do I like about this image? The boy who is a total douche, obviously primped by Mom; the girl who looks not only confident, but mildly evil; the baby who is almost an afterthought in the picture. In this case, the baby's name was Jim.

And what fun would it be if there was no macro?



And what fun would it be if there was no Photoshop?



Yes, she's still evil.

Pope: Everyone Has an Inborn Need for God

From the Vatican Information Service:

Turning then to consider the Gospel account of Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well in Sychar, Benedict XVI highlighted how at a certain point the woman asked Jesus for water, "thus showing how everyone has an inborn need of God and of the salvation that only He can achieve".

Yes, and Billy Budd was a Christ-like character. This is what we refer to as literary analysis and symbolic representation and is the trunk of the tree of the Catholic bureaucracy.

Does every person have an inborn need for God? I don't think so. I do believe that deeply embedded in our psyches is a natural inclination to ask "Why?" and to look for answers to the big questions in the world and/or the universe. For some people, stopping asking that question is something they're comfortable with when they find God. Others keep asking.

But in the same article, something a little more creepy to fit with Benedict's personage:

"In how many circumstances, rather than meekly conforming ourselves to divine will, would we like God to accomplish all our designs and fulfil [sic] all our expectations. In how many occasions does our faith appear fragile, our trust weak, our religiosity contaminated by magical elements of merely earthly origin?"

Ah, yes. Blessed are the Ori.

i.e., "Fit in my fucking power structure mold or I will eat your soul!"

Jesus wept.

I'm the White Rabbit

Star Trek and Jefferson Airplane. One of my favorite shows and my favorite song of all time? Can mash-ups get better?

Remembering Buony: the Bush Blair Experience

Oldie but a goodie. Remember the good times.

Is Ricky Shambles In You?

I came across this Slogan Generator in a post from one of my friends on the left (blogroll, left side of the page, see what I did there?), although (I'm sorry), I can't find it for the life of me. So here we go. Any favorites?

Don't Forget The Ricky Shambles, Mum.

Leave the Ricky Shambles to Us.

How Do You Eat Your Ricky Shambles?

Make Ricky Shambles Yours.

Ricky Shambles - It Looks Good on You.

Is Ricky Shambles In You?

And from there, it predictably degrades into finding the dirtiest ones you can. I kept it as clean as I could. click the link back at the top of this post and create you own!

Obama's Gone Emo

You may recall John McCain, when no one believed for a second he'd garner the nomination, got a Ricky Shambles Photoshop Makeover.

Barack Obama, should he go totally emo:



I'd vote for him in a second.

Check out Goth Hillary and Frankenfurter McCain at All Things Democrat.

Frozen Grand Central Station

The wonderful folks at Improv Everywhere pulled this at Grand Central Station:



Check out their site to keep up to date on all their scenes.

p.s. - sorry about today's brevity; I'm running a little under the weather.