Bunch of Crap: Drudgery, Sun Blows Wad w/ Napolitano

How the Sun shot web

So Drudge decided to post some college kid's poor camera film of raw satellite that's like 7 minutes long and entitled Katie Couric RAW: Leaked footage of Couric Making Fun of Sarah Palin (FULL). OMG it's gotta be so crazy nasty and KC's going to lose her job over it OMG! Um, no. There's one reference that Katie makes while reading Sarah's kids names: "Where the hell do they come up with...?" And that's all. Yeah, that's it. But the comment-trolls fresh from Drudge act like it's apocalypse: She's an Obama tool, she can barely read, she thinks she's such hot shit. There's a special place in hell for Repub myrmidon trolls.

Speaking of apocalypse - as in the retarded "end of the world" version and not the "revealing" that it really means - the sun kinda exploded the other day. Seriously. Okay, not totally exploded. That'd be like saying I explode every time I have a coronal mass ejection. But that only happens sometimes.

"On 1 August, almost the entire side of the Sun that faces the Earth erupted in a blaze of activity known as a 'coronal mass ejection'." Holy shit! The "entire side of the Sun?" And that's the limit of the confirmation because we couldn't see the other side? Aurora as far south as Michigan? And that was just a low-powered glancing blow? Fuck, I think we've got a nasty peak activity cycle coming.

Which will tie in nicely with "End of Days" for the gay bigots pissing their bleached-pure tighty-whiteys over the judge that struck down CA's Proposition 8 as unconstitutional. Awww...snap! Even Kim Kardashian, who's not a real celebrity, got in on the Tweeted praise! Apparently the social troglodytes think a land where first cousin marriage allowances is rampant is better than them dirty gays gettin' hitched.

Oh, and Janet Napolitano has lied to you and saved and turned your nekkid airport scans into her personal shower-quality masturbation material. Sorries! I wonder if she's one of those women who, you know, ejects coronal mass when she explodes. Now that I might incorrectly call Apoca-lips.

Weed & Lesbians - Auto-Tune it!

Just watch. Hilarity.

Jesus, Anne Rice, & Lindsay Lohan - Rant

If you missed it or are blind to any reference to vampires aside from "Woohoo! Team Edward! Woohoo!" then you may have sauntered by a recent story about Anne Rice, author of Interview With a Vampire (and a couple dozen other novels) and arguable (grand?)mother of the current vampire craze.

She has 'quit' Christianity, as announced on her FB page. Yes, really. And, hell, I don't blame her. I renounced Catholicism at about 17 as an absurdly foolish path to any ultimate reality. A pastor has called her out to say that the people are the Church. I respond:

Dear Pastor,
I'm pretty sure Anne Rice understands the philosophies and underpinnings of the Church in general, and that's why she made that statement. Yes, the Church is the People, but every single division of Christianity has taken stories in a book and constructed this scaffolding around it in the shape it desires. And they have all declared: "There is no truth except through us."

And if you want to work through all that scaffolding you'll find people - mostly men - of the cloth that must aid you in that journey. By helping you climb the scaffold they built.

In Catholicism, the links are so disparate that you're 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon to get to the Pope who has the Red Phone. For the rest of them, it's ideas and thoughts as under-the-sink gradeschool crystal growth projects to build rules and implied judgments from the minds of men.

If you believe in God and want to make that connection a 1-on-1 call, there's NO Christian way to do it without being a part of that scaffold in some way. And within that scaffold, in many different factions of Christianity, lies a great deal of exclusion and hate that would never have crossed the mind of Jesus.

So shut up and let her write more great fiction.

Ricky

And I also saw that Prison Minister Marty Angelo said that Lindsay Lohan would've been way better off if she'd accepted Jesus as her personal savior and gone through religious-based treatment for her addictions.

On the light side, this is like saying gays can be cured through Jesus-ization. On the dark side, it's like a kid I had teaching tenth grade in NC, and on an essay question about Elie Wiesel's Night and how Faith played a role, he wrote me a one-sentence response: "If the Jews had just accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, then none of this would've happened." For those of you who missed that book, Night is a first-person recollection of surviving the death camps in WWII.

Christian healing only works for Christians. I don't think Lindsay has - or will - hit rock bottom. And if she does, she might do the addict dance I've seen so many times: Booze and coke to cigarettes, coffee, and Christ. And maybe then that treatment might work. But for now, Lindsay is a whackjob, out of her mind on excess and immortality and well on the way to the same grave that acted as the thoroughfare for so many other celebrities, except without the talent to pass into anything other than obscurity.

God save her soul.

* Tolerance Does NOT Include Islam

The Anti-Defamation League's Statement On Islamic Community Center Near Ground Zero

New York, NY, July 28, 2010 ... The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) today issued the following statement regarding the proposed Islamic Center near Ground Zero in Manhattan:

We regard freedom of religion as a cornerstone of the American democracy, and that freedom must include the right of all Americans – Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and other faiths – to build community centers and houses of worship.

We categorically reject appeals to bigotry on the basis of religion, and condemn those whose opposition to this proposed Islamic Center is a manifestation of such bigotry.

However, there are understandably strong passions and keen sensitivities surrounding the World Trade Center site. We are ever mindful of the tragedy which befell our nation there, the pain we all still feel – and especially the anguish of the families and friends of those who were killed on September 11, 2001.

The controversy which has emerged regarding the building of an Islamic Center at this location is counterproductive to the healing process. Therefore, under these unique circumstances, we believe the City of New York would be better served if an alternative location could be found.

In recommending that a different location be found for the Islamic Center, we are mindful that some legitimate questions have been raised about who is providing the funding to build it, and what connections, if any, its leaders might have with groups whose ideologies stand in contradiction to our shared values. These questions deserve a response, and we hope those backing the project will be transparent and forthcoming. But regardless of how they respond, the issue at stake is a broader one.

Proponents of the Islamic Center may have every right to build at this site, and may even have chosen the site to send a positive message about Islam. The bigotry some have expressed in attacking them is unfair, and wrong. But ultimately this is not a question of rights, but a question of what is right. In our judgment, building an Islamic Center in the shadow of the World Trade Center will cause some victims more pain – unnecessarily – and that is not right.

The Anti-Defamation League, founded in 1913, is the world's leading organization fighting anti-Semitism through programs and services that counteract hatred, prejudice and bigotry.

Maybe we should all make a point of stopping by the ADL contact page and letting them know you disagree - if, of course, you do. I did.

Your position on the Islamic community center and mosque proposed for New York City has made you a self-parody and seats you in the front of crowd of intolerance and hate that has been spewed by right wing media and well-known racists across the US. You should be ashamed. You have stripped yourselves of any credibility. "...to secure justice and fair treatment to all?" You should probably insert an asterisk to make clear that that position comes with a heaping helping of "However, ..."

Friday Videos: 7 Degrees of Alabama

Comedy Gold follows. Be prepared. And in the spirit of full disclosure, it's only really 6 from Alabama and a turtle fucking a shoe.

This is a news story from Alabama about 4 years ago. Some folks saw a leprechaun:




Another story from Alabama, apparently attempted rape - with a message:




And just in case someone starts waaambling about how attempted rape cannot be funny:



And yes, I knew (guessed) turtles made that noise when I was 14. I feel radically vindicated 19 years later.

UPDATE!

Holy shit, Alabama - what is wrong with you? This is a recorded conversation when a Huntsville reporter is interrupted by a bystander. WTF?




...and we can't forget the Flea Market video...




Oh, my Christ, make me stop Alabama!




Okay, Cullman Liquidation Ctr, but you're the last one!



Have a great weekend!

Muslims & Tea Party?

From TPM:

Diane Serafin, the leading of the protest against the building of a new mosque in Temecula, CA.:

"They hate Jews, they hate Chrisitans, they hate women, they hate dogs. [The idea of the new mosque] scares the daylights out of me. I want you to stress this -- I'm not prejudiced. I worked retail for nine years and I didn't even know my manager was gay until someone told me. And when I found out, I didn't care."

--Josh Marshall

*runs screaming from the room*

Trinidadian Slap Chop

Just like the title says, silly!



Okay, now you can say WTF?

Obama the Muslim

Maybe I should just make this Human Events week. The stuff they're coming up with is going in the "Classic Batshit & Lies" file forever! Here's a taste of this morning's poo stew:

Let’s see. President Obama says there is nothing more beautiful than the Muslim call to prayer in the evening. He says that the United States was not founded as a Christian nation.

Obama’s father and step-father were Muslims and he spent his childhood living in a Muslim country where his school enrollment records say his religion is Islam. As President of the United States he genuflects to the Muslim King of Saudi Arabia but not the Christian Queen of England. He thumbs his nose at America’s friends and bows to its enemies. In short, Obama quacks like a Muslim, waddles like a Muslim and acts like a Muslim, so is he a Muslim? My mother would say, “Yes! He’s a Muslim through and through.”

Growing up as a Muslim, Obama must have learned that according to the Qur’an it is acceptable to lie, deceive and live by a double standard provided in so doing one advances Islamic goals.

And I believe that's where my head about asploded. I can't even start let alone rant on this one. Very simple: If you already hate all Muslims because of right wing rhetoric, we're simply shoving Obama so deeply into that "other" that you, too, can be confident you hate him because he hates America like a terrorist and not because he's black!

I just don't know how they can get away with what is effectively libel.

Tickle Me Melmo

You know, if Elmo was a misogynist racist. Right?

Democrats Target Bachmann?

It's true! Email in today's right-wing nutter slop pile, Daily Events:

Dear Fellow Conservative,

Nancy Pelosi and her liberal allies in Washington have just moved my race up to one of their top targets.

My opponent was named to the Democrats so-called "Red to Blue" list. These candidates will serve as the rubber stamp to the radical Pelosi agenda of higher taxes, out-of-control spending, and massive government overreach.

Click here to stop the liberal attack machines!

Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats are targeting me to keep their razor thin majority in the House to pass their extreme liberal agenda. We need to stop the Obama/Pelosi agenda and fight for our constitutional conservative majority. We cannot back down from this fight.

Will you help defend me and the conservative values we share?

Time is of the essence, I've got an important campaign deadline on August 10th, and it is critical for us to send a clear message and end on a strong note.

Please, click here now to make a contribution of $25, $50, $100, $500, $1,000 or more.

I appreciate your help, encouragement and prayers. I will continue to fight for a constitutional conservative majority and lead the effort to repeal government takeover and restore our great nation.

Sincerely,


Michele Bachmann

P.S. Nancy Pelosi would love nothing more than to defeat me this year and is willing to spend whatever it takes to win! And now with Washington's help, millions of dollars will be poured into my opponent coffers from all across the county. Will you help me against the liberal attack machine?

Heyyyyy...wait a second. Are you saying that because of [insert horribly generic Dems-R-Badd rhetoric here], conservatives need not only to vote for you but also give you money? And Human Events is helping you do this?

Shit woman, we (that'd be MOST Americans) are way the hell beyond platitudes, way the hell beyond the politics of "Ooh, Pewosi doesn't wike me!" baby talk with the rubbing of the eyes and the whining. You write this letter (or perhaps allow someone competent to write it) with the intent that anyone gives a shit? I mean, sure, there are plenty of brainwashed righties who'll drop a sawbuck on anything that comes across their inbox denouncing the Left.

But what would happen if you had to actually convince someone of something? What about what you've done or endorsed?

Ooh, that's why you're not touting your actual actions or beliefs. Dag.

You said Obama was the worst President in American History? You refused to fill out your 2010 census? You said that if the GOP wins the house in November that you should "do nothing but issue subpoenas"??? She runs a Christian counseling group with her husband that has taken $30,000 of state taxpayer dollars? She says Obama wants re-education camps for children? She blames Clinton, blacks, and other minorities for the current financial crisis? She's going to form a Tea Party caucus in the House? She introduced a one-page bill to repeal health care?

Sorry, I'll stop now. The fact is that the Repub echo chamber and its own over-echo, FOX News, are more than willing to push Bachmann as yet another seat as yet another non-Democrat. But they can't do it by actually talking about anything she's said or done. Why? She's batshit crazy! And while they continue to push her and allow her to earn a dime or two through Wingnut sites like Daily Events and support her in any way, she is dismantling the Republican Party. Slowly but surely. Note that thing I said above about the "Tea Party caucus?" Holy shit! Now you've got a bunch of ignorant goons running an actual caucus? Actually legitimized? And they're taking power from the other part of the Right?

Bwahahah! I can thing of nothing better than a Bachmann-Palin ticked in 2012. Just give the right enough juice to believe it and it will succeed...until it falls into flames in November.

Van Mural Wednesday - Giraffe!?

You'd think that a post with this title might have one...maybe two images. You'd be wrong! We've got 4 - count 'em 4 - images to share with you today!


Okay, not really a van, but a giraffe all the same - on a vehicle!


Giraffe in the snow? Not...computing....


Awwwshit. That's all giraffe.


And that's the Oscar Mayer Weiner of Giraffemobiles. Rock on! Probably got some giraffes in there, yo! Sippin' on some Hennessey ('cause giraffes like cognac - duh - check out your Wildlife Treasury, bitch!)


And that's how we roll...

Sen. George Voinovich (R-OH) is a Blind Moron

I saw a note on a blog the other day noting that George Voinovich's Contact Page had no mention of Unemployment or Jobs. I checked it out and - okay, you already believe it - in the "Topic" you'd want to choose as the subject of your communication, there is absolutely no choice for...oh, hell, let's just list all of Sen. Douchebag's choices here for us to all ponder over, shall we?

.....HOT TOPICS.....
Associated Health Plans
Broadcast Decency Act
Gas Prices
Internet Neutrality
National Security
Same Sex Marriage
School Voucher Program
Social Security
Terrorism
War In Iraq
.....CONSTITUENT SERVICES.....
Casework
Flag Request
Service Academy Nominations
Tour Request
.....GENERAL TOPICS.....
Abortion
Agriculture
Banking-General
Budget
Children's Issues
Communications
Defense-General
Economy-General
Education
Energy
Environment
Foreign Affairs
Government Affairs
Health Care-General
Housing
Immigration
Intelligence Issues
Judiciary
Labor
Nuclear Weapons
Seniors' Issues
Small Business
Tax-General
Trade-General
Transportation
Veterans Affairs
Other

We start with HOT TOPICS. Read: Scary, right-wing talking points. I'm surprised "Them Niggers is Votin'!" isn't listed. Case in point? "Internet Neutrality" The only people talking about it are right wing radio nutters who are bald-face lying about its basic definition (and probably calling it that when anyone in the know calls it "Net Neutrality" - alliteration anyone?). Everyone else knows Neutrality is what we have now. And I'm guessing his topic is not listed to quell the mis-directed "Obama Ownz Da Internets" shoutings of his idiot-driven constituency.

We can skip the services. Meh.

But now that we've seen that the HOT TOPICS (that don't include Voinovich getting all Goth/Emo on us) did NOT include anything about job security or unemployment, then it MUST be in the General Topics, no?

Um, no. Oh, you could choose "Banking-General" 'cause you don't have no money in it, or Budget because when paycheck-to-paycheck turns to unemployment-check-to-unemployment-check turns to "maybe I should rob that aforementioned bank," that might work. But then you might choose Banking-General again.

You could pick Economy-General because Ohio's has been tanking since the 80's with a weak 90's jump and the whole state's missing the latest jump shot in Lebron's rape of Cleveland. You could pick Defense-General because you might choose a rifle over gas in the car as your jobless neighbors become squatters then homeless and the homeless move in to become squatters next door; though that might be Housing. You could pick Children's Issues because the kids are starving because there are no jobs and no money.

What you cannot pick, when trying to contact Senator George Voinovich, is a category labeled "Jobs" or "Unemployment." But maybe because there are no jobs and unemployment's run out for many, he finds it irrelevant. Maybe Georgie figures poor people don't have access to computers or the internet and therefore can't email him. Or maybe he thinks since Obama controls the internets, it's not worth his time.

Republicans don't get humor or technology or compassion and that's fine. I understand that. I don't get why they keep getting elected, but that's a whole nother post.

The Republican Senator of the State of Ohio - a state that is over the 10% mark in unemployment - is missing "Unemployment" or "Jobs" or "Job Creation" or "Joblessness" as a BASIC category of communication online. How fucking out of touch with your constituency must you be to have "Internet Neutrality" in the HOT TOPIC section and not even mention that 10% of working adults...are NOT working? Are the expensive suits and great hotels and extreme taxpayer-paid vacations and fabulous homes all giving you a rich-man brain-wash enema? Because you and the rest of the Republicans are completely ignoring the jobless in our country, you've done NOTHING to create jobs in Ohio (and shitting every Democrat idea is technically LESS than nothing), and yet you yodel about breaking taxes for the fucking RICH! (I'm guessing you're on the "that pays for itself" shovels o' bullshit wagon.)

The Republicans are not going to "win" anything in the fall, Senator V. And that's a shame, because they've already lost their souls in arguing for the last two years against everything compassionate and progressive (as in "helping the human condition progress") while offering no real solutions except to say the other guy is wrong. You're going to lose because you keep shouting "budget" and "deficit" but we all know you raped those things under W. And now you're backtracking, while vomiting platitudes of feces out your mouths. But you don't - and never will - get it. People don't care about bigger economic bullshit theories when they can't make ends meet, when they can't put dinner on the table. They just want a damn job.

And you haven't done a damn thing to help those people.

As a matter of fact, you haven't even offered them a way to communicate with you.

Kitten in a Hat

Just a wash to help that last post descend a bit. Enjoy!

Whitest Kids U'Know: Clint Webb

Yeah, I've been kinda incommunicado as of late. And I'll probably dump my life-changing personal and social issues on you sooner or later, but until I decide that sharing pain anonymously is really going to dilute the process of going through it, please enjoy a clip from a show you can catch on IFC.

Hamsters Are Scary, KIA!

This is the new commercial from KIA. Featuring Hamsters.



It raped my eyes. CGI bringing Furry realities to us is not good use of technology. It is terrifying to us and just encouraging them. There are people jerking off to this!

Fuck you, KIA.

(okay, it was a little cool because I love advances in CGI)

Ladies & Comics: Dawn & Death

Based on some inspiration from Cal's fantastic blog post on Wonder Woman's new costume, there was a bit of discussion about the oversexualized women in comics (as one aspect of what keeps bringing the boys - and men - back) and I immediately thought of Dawn.

The series of different comics featuring Dawn, goddess of birth and rebirth, and her lover, Death is exactly what we describe when we talk about over-the-top eye candy. And the storylines weren't exactly the most brilliant writing in the comic world.






And in thinking about beauty and storytelling I was immediately drawn to a place I don't return nearly enough. When you take various artists and combine them with the sharp wit and brilliant writing of Niel Gaiman, you get Death, one of the Endless who pull the strings of existence.







Seriously, stare at the Dawn all you want, but if you haven't picked up the Sandman comics you are missing a true piece of literature.


...and then there's someone's take on the Little Mermaid. I have no reason or excuses.

Van Mural Wizards!

This week we're all about wizards! Why? Because they're wizards, ass!


Wizard!


...Wizard?


Hehe...Trim Wizard. Yeah, dat's wat dey call me!


And I don't even know who tagged this guy, but he just showed up on my GISRP. So...Viking Wizard!

Epic Undercover Cop FAIL

Milk is Like Oil Cause Obama's Stupid n Stuff!

If you've missed some of the recent goofy "Obama it the Devil" blasts over the past week or so, might want to take a look at this one talking about how the EPA has classified storage of large amounts of milk as something to be handled carefully, like storage of oil.

Obviously, this post and subsequent re-posts and stories about Milk=Oil were a lovely and timely right-wing sensationalism meant to paint Obama as a killer of industry, ignorer of the Gulf, having priorities wrong, etc.

So let's review a couple facts concerning the supposed slam:

• The EPA rule changes equating animal fat (and by extension, milk) storage to that of oil are part of the EPA Emergency Management Spill Prevention, Control, and Countermeasure (SPCC) Rule.


• The SPCC Rule was enacted in 2002 (under Bush), with implementation deadlines for facilities (including farms) by November 2009.


• Since Obama took office, in June 2009 an extension was added to give facilities until November 2010 to comply.


• Also, November 2009 amendments made to the rule currently under consideration include exemption of milk storage.

If we're going to sully an administration' s reputation on an absurdity of government handling, let's get the right administration.

If you care to dig more, feel free to start here: http://www.epa. gov/oem/content/spcc/

Internets: What is Odd?

Today's word is "odd." Let's see what the internets thinks, shall we?



If your glasses are odd and they reflect personality...what you sayin' 'bout my personality? I can guarantee with glasses like that her mouth opens much wider that it looks. And she's got little teeth ;)




Wait, if he catches it? So my personal enjoyment is based on the aptitude of a metal frog automaton that runs on 2 D batteries? That doesn't sound like fun. But I bet it's loud!




Yeah, totally odd. I didn't think they made Buick convertibles in the 80's.




Very odd. If you're going to go to that extent, might as well make it a SleepNumber. And must you wear platforms and have a Kid 'n' Play haircut to sleep in one?




Odd, I didn't know Gary Coleman and Dana Plato were an item.


So there's your odd for the week. Now get off my lawn!

In Short: Afghanistan: Seriously, We Can't Win

In light of the resignation of Gen. Stanley McChrystal, I think there's something we're overlooking: We can't win the war.

For every "Number 2 Al Qaeda Dead" headline we see, another takes his place. It's a Hydra, invoking religion in a reality with little more to grasp onto, every day creating hundreds of soldiers whose main goal is to die for the cause. Our troops want to complete the job and come home.

When will anyone see this discrepancy? Or are we cursed to feed American troops into the mouth of madness forever?

Where is the outrage?

Christian Children's Fund

Is it epidemic? Here's an older version of the Christian Children's Fund commercial starring actor Alan Sader:




I can't find a version of the new commercial online right now, but Mr. Sader's put on about 30 lbs. Isn't that a bad thing when it comes to pitching how badly kids are starving? Why not give them some of your food, Mr. Sader?

Warning to Mr. Sader: Diet time. Remember Sally Struthers?

Jon Stewart: Oil Independence

If you haven't seen last week's review of how badly we in America ca fail at something, do it. Do it now. You will laugh as a crust to the internal sadness of the reality of the situation.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
An Energy-Independent Future
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Van Mural Mural Van Again! Again!

NYPD, in a bid to cut costs, has gone with murals of paddywagons which are 90% cheaper than the real thing but only fool about 10% of observers.




And I like how the windows are painted over so you can't see the kidnapped kid struggling in back, dressed as a dwarf.

Dear God

One of my favorite songs of all time. Reminds me to be angry.

Original XTC



Get pissed off - not at the politicians, but the universe. Get angry. Turn up the music, jump around the room, scream at the top of your lungs, and punch the walls if you can afford to fix them. Break something. Shout. Holler.

Throw a fucking plate down on the road in front of your house. And scream again!

Sarah McLachlan



Then do something about it.

I'm worried that the anger us liberals feel is not so much about a president that talked about the stick then showed us a rope, but a need to call bullshit on a higher power.

Republicans don't have the nuts to make the call. We do.

BULLSHIT!

If it's time for change, WE make change! No one else!

Tricky Remix



More Mojo



Cry. Cry every second. Then bring fire. We need fire.

God's Got a Sick Sense of Humor

Depeche Mode for y'all.

I, too, expect to find him laughing...




...and my fav vid from XTC, just for kicks...



...a whole post on covers of that coming...

England: Grow a Dick

Oh, noes! Tea n crumpets! It's British-Bashing!

In the last 24 hours, I've heard that Obama's "echoes" comparison about how 9/11 showed us our vulnerabilities as did the BP disaster. I've heard Americans everywhere fling verbal poo at BP. And I've heard Glenn Beck call soccer a bunch of names to show what a wuss he is.

England's response? All these things are British-bashing. Bullshit.

I'm an unabashed Anglophile, and this is just unfortunate. Have a fucking pint of Bass and go cry in your Figurehead's crown. C'mon! Stiff upper lip and all that. Where'd that go? Stop your damned whining and pretend - for just a second - that at one time the sun never set on your empire. What? Did the US kicking your ass out and liberty for your other colonies and assassinating Princess Di and the Harry Potter fandom and a draw in the World Cup make your testicles ascend? You've still got Monty Python and The Mighty Boosh and Sting and the Beatles and Mick Jagger and Mr. Bean and good damn tea and icy lollies your own monetary system and part of Ireland (bitches!) and Vivien Leigh for fuck's sake.

Stop your whining and grow a dick.

The're Still Doing the Unpatriotic Dance

I recently got into it with some people of a mostly-political list I belong to full of intelligent people (starts with an M) on all sides of the aisle. And despite these folks being card-carrying smart, I still get posts saying Obama refuses to salute the flag. WTF?



So I broke it down. This is what I wrote:

For the record, the quips about Obama based on video presented at http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=3759803 should be clarified by Title 36 of the US Code, which states that during the National Anthem, all non-military personnel in attendance, when the flag is displayed, "should face the flag and stand at attention with their right hand over the heart." (http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/36/301.html). This confirms that all candidates were wrong in not facing the flag behind them.

However, I think the most interesting aspect of this back-and-forth is the purposeful abuse of language on the right.

According to this email & links, the following has happened once: President Obama did not place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem.

The first intentional manipulation of the language is the change of word choice to the verb "refuse": President Obama refused to place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem.

This turns the inaction to an active defiance of custom or observation. But just as I cannot refuse a cookie if not offered one, Obama cannot refuse to place his hand on his heart unless prompted or reminded. There is no such prerequisite action documented anywhere, any time.

The second intentional manipulation of the language is the generalization via tense of the already-inaccurate statement: This president refuses to place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem.

So now a single inaction has been transformed into a standard of defiant intent against our National Anthem.

The final manipulation is the generalization to all forms of observance: President Obama refuses to place his hand over his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance., President Obama refused to salute the flag., etc.

And in what I applaud as impressive propagandic efficiency, the last version of the "playing telephone" messages is what we hear as the peal of the bell from the right wing blog, radio, and Fox news. Unsubstantiated, some outright lies, all in a desperate attempt to turn one physical inaction into a malicious, deviant character trait that pervades his very being: unpatriotic.

And I think that's the most laughable aspect of the whole slime train: They go that far in defamation of character and land the deal with a sad attempt to objectify patriotism - love and dedication to country - something as subjective and personal as religion.

Unfortunately, most people on the right bow down to the AM band and wait for that cry of Unpatriotic to trigger and justify the disgust they feel for our current president without even thinking about it, let alone following the trail of falsehoods backwards to figure out where the declaration originated.

Personally, when I'm confronted with the dumbing down of something as complicated as Patriotism to whether or not you're wearing an American flag pin that was probably made in China and everyone scrambles for that signifier, I put my trust in the guy who says "No pin for me."

Tea Party Eats July 4th in Cincinnati

Here's the link.

Near where I live in Cincinnati, Hyde Park has a problem on the 4th of July: no one wants to subsidize the fireworks and parade venture. Who's going to save the day? Who's going to save America from potentially-unpatriotic non-shenanigans? The Tea Party!

They claim that there will be no proselytizing during the event, but [insert 5000 links here] documents how stupid and offensive they can be.

Oddly enough, Hyde Park is a younger, hipper, more liberal section of a city that is - for the most part - relatively conservative. Infiltration. And a great marketing move for a party associated with racists and gun-toting morons.

What's next?

I leave you with awesome:



Feel free to steal it :)

Say Hi to the Fab N00bs!

Last person of my following bunch I said hello to was Blueberry over at Texas Oasis. Hey there again!

And since then we've got a few more! So let's all give a hardy CFC Welcome* to (if there be no link, there be no blog):

Pearl
Camila Alvares
Debra, She Who Seeks
The Invisible Seductress
Chris at Rabid Intuition

Visit, comment, love.


*(Despite the tone you may have interpreted on this blog "CFC Welcome" is defined by clapping or commenting, not a pearl necklace and a Cleveland steamer.)

BP Oil Apology

h/t to Liberality!

Breaking Bad (Cleanses)

This is a follow up to This is Stupid: Cleanse post from yesterday.

As of this morning, 48 hours in, I'd eaten nothing except for the stupid juice and water and the oral enema. In 48 hours I went from feeling okay to being drained, grumpy, tired, lethargic, apathetic, all with a headache. Surprisingly, not all that physically hungry. They say it's only the first 3 or 4 days that suck. I have better ways to lose weight.

So I did my saltwater this morning and when that process was finished, P90X. And officially broke the fast with a sample pack of the Orange Julius -tasting recovery drink and a few saltines. See, after not eating for 48 hours, you need to start slow (10 days? you start with broth). I'm thinking a good vegetable soup for lunch here in a little bit and by dinner I'm at the bar to celebrate my joy with some beer and wings (per Lemmy's delicious suggestion)!

I'll update this post with actual food choices as well as any unforeseen side effects of jumping too fast into solid foods. What could go wrong? It's only been 2 days...


UPDATE: I was sated with the P90X drink for a couple hours and hooked up a mild lunch with a delicious Amy's No Chicken Noodle Soup with a little flax seed. Heaven.

And a couple things have happened in the last couple days kind of all at once. First off, I lost 7 lbs from this 48 hour fast. Then this video showed up in my inbox, so now sugar scares the hell out of me...



...and a video associate with it shows a 4 year old McD's cheeseburger that looks new:



So I think this past couple of days has been overall positive as an experience. I'm much more conscious of food in general, hyper-sensitive about high fructose corn syrup, and will probably never touch fast food (or at least McD's) ever again; Super Size Me did not do for me what that above video did.

Now, let the beer and video games commence!

Accepting Suggestions for Free Time

It's 4:19am. Mrs. Shambles has just left for the airport. Irish Dancer is visiting relatives.

I've got until Monday evening at 11pm - about 90 hours of alone time. And darn it, it's supposed to rain some every day until then, so I can't cut the grass or wash the deck.

I was going to spend my non-productive hours with my friends: Internets, Beer, Xbox360, and Wings (yes, Reading and Writing can come too but only if you bring Whiskey), but was wondering if you, fair readers, had any more constructive (or destructive) suggestions.

Van Mural Catch Up

She'll understand the look of pride in his face when she sees the inside, soon to be christened The Shag Love Bong Bone Palace.




Big Rich's career picked up significantly after getting a van mural ...and changing his name from Tiny Peasant.




This is a "trainer" for mentally disabled kids, a.k.a. a white delivery truck parked on the streets of San Francisco and unattended for more than 15 minutes.

Right Wing Logic

I believe I've found the mathematical root of right wing logic. Enjoy.

In Short: Hannity is a Moron

Today Sean Hannity made outrage cookies about how the military's equipment isn't the best technology out there and some of it's old - and it's Obama's fault!

Apparently he was high or deaf when the very vocal outcry went out about our American soldier being killed in Iraq because the HumVee's provided by Bush's management of the military weren't even providing basic protection from armor; they were cannibalizing scrapped vehicles and materials to add makeshift steel plating for protection.

Where was your outrage then, Sean? Oh yeah, it didn't exist because you had the Republican president's dick in your ear.

Cleansing: This is Stupid

This is stupid. This is a glass and gallon jug of stupid juice. In order to make stupid juice, you add 1 t of cayenne, 1 1/4 C each of fresh-squeezed lemon juice and real (expensive!) maple syrup to 1 gal of spring water.

Okay, it's not stupid juice, it's a lemon cleanse. Yay! Not really. What's in that jug? I'm supposed to have 10 12 oz glasses during the day. And that's all. No food. And as a prize at the end of the day? A mild laxative herbal tea. Yum. In the morning I take 1 L lukewarm water with 2 t uniodized sea salt. That's called an oral enema. Seriously. Just about the whole liter comes straight out the other end, and it's brought some friends.

Last weekend, my mother mentioned that my cousin does this cleanse once or twice a year, loses 10-20 lbs. Mrs. Shambles thought "we" should try it. I'm going along to support her for now.

A day and a half into it and I'm cranky - actually get a bit angry when I drive by a place where I smell food - I have a headache (I never get headaches), I'm tired, and feeling slightly emotionally fragile. Great. Clean out your body, wreck your soul. Thanks Mom.

And this is supposed to last at least 10 days.

But it's okay. Mrs. Shambles is heading out of town tomorrow and I've already figured I'd probably drop the cleanse tomorrow afternoon. I just can't do it. Every time I take down another glass of gross, a louder and louder voice somewhere inside me shouts "Hey, this is stupid!" generally paired with a mild gagging reflex. I'm already exercising. How about giving that a chance to work first?

So any of you ever go through a cleanse? Did it work? Was it worth it?

Oil Leak Bizarro World You Must Visit

The funny thing in this thought challenge or experiment is that - well, there's nothing funny about it except perhaps my writing, shielding the reality with the parody or reductio ad absurdum and thus revealing the ultimate sadness inherent in being a right wing radio talk show host. Without such magnanimous delusional egotism, I surmise suicides would be much higher in their field.

Today's Experiment: Obama & Oil

Scenario 1:
President Obama spent all Memorial Day weekend with the families of those killed in the rig blast and those already suffering the effects of the death of the fishing industry in the Gulf.

Right Wing Response:
"What's Obama doing? He's just placating them! He doesn't give a hoot about the crisis or about solving it - he just wants to make face time and look like he gives a crap. This is egotistical showmanship, nothing more.

"And besides, what about Arlington? Why isn't he there? He obviously doesn't care about the veterans either, those who gave their lives to guarantee our freedoms. Obama hates freedom! Nazi!"


Scenario 2:
President Obama invents a time machine and goes back to the beginning of the crisis to let BP know that if they drop the Top Hat, they should warm the top hat to avoid the creation of hydrates that might block the tube. The Top Hat solution vacates 90% of the oil spewing into the Gulf.

Right Wing Response:
"What is Obama doing? Is he suddenly Bill Nye the Science Guy? What does he know that BP doesn't? Sure the flow is stemmed, but it's only 90% - 10% is still ruining the lives of those who make their living from the Gulf.

"Obviously, he doesn't want a complete fix because then he wouldn't be able to take over the oil industry in America! Just like Hitler!"


Scenario 3:
President Obama equips his super-suit & jetpack and flies to the Gulf personally, dives to the bottom of the sea and with his super-heated welding materials, cuts the broken pipe and bends it shut, stemming the flow permanently. He takes the rest of the weekend to spend with families who have been affected by and will be affected by the disaster.

Right Wing Response:
"Who elected this show-boating goon? He's obviously making a play for governmental takeover of the oil companies and playing the 'face time' game with these families. If Hitler had a jetpack and supersuit, he'd have done the same thing!"


Scenario 4:
President Obama equips his super-suit & jetpack, fixes the oil leak, creates a pact with Israel for peace, destroys all Russia's nuclear weapons, forges peace with China and North Korea, kills Ahmadinejad, catches Bin Laden, feeds every starving person in the world with mana from heaven.

Right Wing Response:
"What about Arlington? Why isn't he there? He obviously doesn't care about the veterans of America or America herself while he's out hot-dogging the world! Obama hates freedom! Nazi!"


To bastardize Yoda for Obama:

"Try or try not. There is no win."

What's Sexy?

Here's something I just thought of that might happen with punctuated regularity. What does Google Image Search tell us is sexy?

Anime



I don't know that I can call that sexy. Then again, I'm not into transvestite cosplay.


Dude



I'm going to pass on this one.


Villians?



I really don't ...WTF? What in holy hell is this? A sexy Disney villain, of course. More here, if you dare click.


Firefox



Okay, that'll work.


Lesson: The internets does not know what I think is sexy. Beware you search yourself. O'er there, there be furries.

New Righty Rules for America

Muslims across America are being harassed and denied a chance to build or expand Mosques. Seems there's a trend going on here from the right.

New (Righty) Rules for America:

1. Freedom of Religion is guaranteed by the Constitution and the founding fathers, but only if you're a Christian. Jews will be tolerated as long as they don't get too loud. Hindus - Hahaha! Ah, Hindus.
2. Freedom of Speech is guaranteed by the Constitution, but only if you're patriotic and Christian enough not to be shut down by the Right; attacks on Mosques and Muslims are protected speech.
3. The workings of government follow written rules unless Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck say differently.
4. Double standards do not exist while criticizing Barack Obama in relation to what any other president has done; Obama is BAD
5. Guns, guns, guns! Get your ass down to the convention center to our gun show! We've got big guns, small guns, guns for babies, guns for girls, guns for God, illegal guns in pieces (shhh!). We've even got guns made of candy! But be careful - they'll kill you! Why!? They're guns!
6. Our history as a nation of immigrants does not extend to those with brown skin.
7. Since people who talk about our military are uncomfortable with them homosex'shls, gays will not be able to fight for our country unless they lie and hide who they are. We are working on a permanent pigment for brown-skinned soldiers and dildos for women. Unless they're hot lesbians.
8. Sarah Palin is a serious, intelligent, viable political candidate.
9. Anyone who does not abide by the above items can and will be tied to Hitler.

God Bless Amerikkka.

UPDATE: Question on my jest of guns made of candy came up in the comments. I am unfortunately able to provide examples. Chocolate guns, and even a misguided attempt by PEZ:

LOST

I don't have words right now as I just finished watching the final episode of LOST (yes, 2 days late) on DVR.

Many will deride it. Many will make poo-poo on its proverbial face.

I, for one, wept at least 5 times in the last showing. And while all the answers are not there, I agree now that they don't have to be.

We all need to see what we see. We all need to hear what we hear. We all need guidance to find what it is we need to find. For them, they had "the island." For us?

Best of luck.

Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince.
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

In Short: Obama's Memorial Day Plans

The right wing is all a-flutter about how Barack Obama is going to Chicago this coming weekend instead of laying the wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier himself.

1. Reagan and both Bushes did the same thing.
2. Obama has 2 little girls who might want to see their extended families during the holiday weekend.
3. HEY RIGHT: if you're really concerned about personal freedoms and a nanny state then why is it okay to impose your personal views upon a president you didn't even vote for and impose your ideals of action on an American citizen who wants to spend time with his family AND will be at a Memorial Day service, just not in DC? Might want to think on that.

Wedding Disastrous

Because you deserve it.


I said keg stand, not keg lean. Get on up in it.



I am not drunk, I have not been crying, and yes I took this from the bar. And it's MINE.



Unwrapping isn't as much fun when you stare at the present all night.



...in an elementary school classroom.



That's how we do it in mothafuckin' M-trop, bitches!

Mutant Skeeters or Crazy Allergies?

So I was out in Cali 2 weeks ago, checking out the view of the Valley from Mulholland Drive near dusk, and while the sight was spectacular, I was spending some of my precious attention batting a few pesky (and rather large) mosquitoes. The next day, a half dozen requisite bites appeared and were just slightly itchy. My brother got some too.

Yesterday morning I awoke to find the mosquito bites I had all but forgot about were now flared, red, perfectly round, and about the size of a quarter each. This is the bugger between the pinky and ring knuckles of my left hand:



The curious spread I figure is from the the fact that I use my hands typing all day, so whatever my body doesn't like is getting to spread out a bit there. My brother does not have the same symptoms.

SO WTF? I understand that a toxin in the mosquito saliva causes the original bump, redness, and itching and affects different people different ways. But I got these bites 14 days ago. And they reacted like always: itch for a couple days, then go away. They hadn't bothered me in a week. What would make them all go nuclear 12 days after being bit?

Don't worry, I'm not being a typical stupid man about it either. I've already been to see the doctor if for no other reason than Cortizone10 was doing dick for the itch and I was either going to scratch them all until bloody or go absolutely mad thinking about scratching them all until bloody.

The doc said things like "weird," "I've never seen anything like it," and "Thanks for being my freak of the day" (we have a pretty casual relationship). And so it's antibiotics because of the timeline and off-chance of infection, topical steroid for immediate relief (knocks that itch down about 60%), and an oral steroid for overall inflammation control.

But it's all generalized guesswork, so I turn to you, my dear readers: Have you ever heard anything like this? Bites following a natural fade then BAM! 12 days later they get as big as quarters and itch 3 times as badly?

Brad Goehring is a Liar & Typical Rightie

Brad Goehring sent me an email today through GOPUSA's email list (yes, I'm a subscriber) and the subject title was "It's Liberal Hunting Season."

Ah, yes, you nod, now you remember Brad Goehring; he's the California Republican running for a House position that's catching flack for the hunting and gun references when describing what's going on in our country.

And so he's outright capitalizing on that absurd fame. "It's Liberal Hunting Season*
Time to Load Up* Conservative Candidates' Bank Accounts" and "PULL THE TRIGGER* FOR A TRUE CONSERVATIVE" adorn his funding letter. The asterisk? *Note to The Politically Correct Liberal Police (Specifically Keith Olbermann): The above sentences with asterisks are metaphors.

Like most Republicans, Brad does not understand how language works. Yes, Brad, those would fall into the category of "metaphor." Green check-mark on the grammar. But because something is a metaphor does not make it innocuous. What's a metaphor exactly? "A figure of speech in which an expression is used to refer to something that it does not literally denote in order to suggest a similarity."

To Brad:
Do you understand the function of a metaphor now? Do you understand that by making those statements, the intent - by function of the linguistic device - is to create a similarity between putting money in your campaign account and the physical act of killing liberals with a firearm.

And that's your right. You can go ahead and use that because it riles up the libs and the righties love it and, all-in-all, it probably benefits your campaign to follow that line. But don't - for just one second - pretend you don't know what you're doing with an aw shucks shrug.


Sidenote:
Brad-Brad's website home page, save for the address buried in the lower right, is oddly void of any reference to the state of California. Isn't he proud of the state he's working to represent? Yet no graphic, no mention. I'd suggest this is intentional; capitalize on the notoriety of the gun metaphors without that pesky obvious reminder that most of the right-wing, riled-up goonery is not actually from Cali and might think twice if they were overtly confronted with the fact.


Final note: Anyone who openly agrees with the idea the the Democrats are purposefully trying to deconstruct the country and turn it into a welfare state is out of their damn mind and lying to scare the bejeezus out of their base. Frightened constituency is always more giving, after all.


Okay, just one more note: You can follow Brad Goehrning on Twitter too! As of this posting, he's following 0 and being followed by 8. Note to Brad: You're doing it wrong.

Drunk-Dialing FreedomWorks

A heavenly thanks to Blueberry over at Texas Oasis. This made my day!

Disney Heroines as Comic Book Heroines

No, I'm not kidding. Here's one of half a dozen.



Um...

Politics Meh!

Meh! I say!

Why? Same shit's happening this week that was last week. Here's a recap in case you've been living in a cave with Bin Laden the last week:

• Republicans are backswitching and -pedaling and plain lying about Kagan's past accomplishments, policies, and rulings. The "better angels" of the right have reduced the conversation to whether she's a lesbian, a man, or too darned androgynous.
• Rush, Beck, and some of our particularly petrol-soaked politicians are downplaying the worst oil disaster in history, saying things like "Where's the oil? I don't see it!" and "The ocean'll take care of itself." and "Yeah, come to our beaches and swim and fish!" No, their job is to ignore the tragedy, the blame, the destruction...and instead focus on how Obama is going to use this to achieve world domination!
• Eric Holder didn't read the fucking law. 10 pages. 17 pages. Whatever. But he didn't read it, commented on it, and got called out. And because he didn't take 15 minutes of his day to get edjumakated, the right is playing the video of his admission 24/7. No matter that the law is unquestionably racist or wrong or opposed, because the USAG didn't read the damn thing, THEY get the fuel to burn their lie fires (note how the right talks about "plain language" except when they need to "read deeper" to reveal Obamarific deception). Eric Holder is still an asshat for that one.
• We're still at war in Afghanistan and Iraq. They're still killing Americans. We still shouldn't be there. And now that the right can call it "Obama's War," they can finally talk about it as the clusterfuck it is.
• Gingrich is still seemingly floating a 2012 GOP bid for POTUS. Hehe *snort*
• Drudge is still manipulating perception of what is in stories by the titles he gives them, always with that crazy, righty spin of his. (NOTE: Today Afghanistan "Grim milestone: 1,000 Americans dead" but 3K in Iraq under Bush ignored)

That is all.

Jesus News: Capitalism & Lungs

This week, we'll make it quick and let you comment:

Yes, a man legally named Lord Jesus Christ was hit by a car.

A great commentary on some douche that claims Jesus was a Capitalist.

A guy pines on spikes and (while starting with Shrek) asks what would've happened if Jesus was never born. Don't pay too much heed; it's not a historical model so much as it degrades into "we'd all be in hell."

And in a fit of pareidolia, we've now seen Jesus in a lung. Quick! Kill that person! Obviously the war of good and evil happened in the womb and the evil body consumed the twin!

Till next week...

"Single Ladies" Creepy

The dancing is impressive. That said, there are five sets of parents that need classes in what is appropriate for young girls.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Back in Black: Glenn Beck & Hitler

Mr. Black, I love you.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Back in Black - Glenn Beck's Nazi Tourette's
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Right Wing, Kagan, Saudi Arabia

And that's when my head exploded.

Media Matters today points out that WorldNetDaily hacks claim Kagan helped shield terrorist supporters. They claim this because under Dubya she advised against lawsuits against the Saudi Royal Family. However, administration policy at the time was a very staunch and public view that lawsuits would hurt the administration's ability to conduct foreign policy as they saw fit. Done deal.

So let's take a short trip to InsaneoLand, where everything is just one degree off, and presume Kagan, during the Bush administration, had advised FOR lawsuits against the Saudi Royal Family. What would our hypocritical whackjobs have said then? I'll venture a guess:

• Kagan is only out to get Bush and Bush doctrine.


• Kagan is attacking Bush's relationship with the Saudi Royal Family.


• Kagan is threatening our access to reasonably-priced oil.


• Kagan is threatening national security.


• Kagan is misdirecting her efforts and needs to focus on [insert other terrorist country here].


• Kagan is on a witch hunt.


• Kagan is a lesbian.

Hmmm...guess that last one shows that even in InsaneoLand, in an odd juxtaposition, Republicans can avoid hypocrisy when unifying in bigotry. Classy.

But the point is this: The Republican war against anything Obama and/or Democrat is reaching (okay: has reached) absurd proportions. They're blocking over 50 uncontroversial appointees with cowardly secret freezes, inserting porn amendments into decent bills, and blatantly arguing against one thing when the opposite would've raised even more hackles in the party. Aaaaaaahhhhh!

If the Republican Party's goal is to drive the opposition nuts, they're working it to the bone. But they're doing so at the expense of credibility; This is the "Waiting for Godot" of politics, performed in leather fetish clown outfits by amateurs who understand neither humor nor absurdity.

Quick! Rush Day is Every Day!

Today, Rush Limbaugh spewed a particularly absurd stream of verbal diarrhea (aka logorrhea) where he espoused the wonder and acceptance of the Republican party, saying that the Left is divisive and looking to break apart the country and the Republicans? They don't separate people into groups. "We don't even see groups."

He then immediately turned around and read from and wholeheartedly agreed with an article about how the Supreme Court could be grouped into New England educational elitists, how Obama is an elitist for living in Hyde Park and only one Justice is from the South.

Because he doesn't see groups.

Oh, and just before that he went on a tirade that there was an article about how the Right was trying to make Elena Kagan out to be a lesbian - whether she was one or not - and ranting about how the Left was making a big deal about it because of the publishing of the article. Guess what, Rush? You just did what you claim the Left is doing about what the Right is doing to damage the character of a viable SCOTUS candidate. Classy.

He still frustrates me, but at least he's just his own parody at this point. Not much I can to to juice the idiocy. I just have to tell you about it.

Take It or Leave It Award ...Cal!

Cal, it starts with you. This is a test. I may have to post this somewhere else because somehow it might violate Photobucket's something or other - and if it does I'll let you know. But steal it and save it for yourself just in case.

So on behalf of a complete lack of taste and judgment (on my part), I do hereby present Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness with the "I'd Fuck That Blog With My Own Dick" Award from Cause For Concern for a rich and neverending stream of wonderful, geeky, lovely, paranoid, and downright delicious posts. I'll never stop reading.

(if this is so totally nasty that no one will put it on their blog, I'll gladly revise it with something more innocuous but equally offensive)



Cheers!

If You Forget Me

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.


- Pablo Neruda

The Arizona Law IS Racist: Read It!

Here's the link. Anything I pull as a summary, please check me on. The right is full of shit on this one.

1. The amendments to the on-the-books law deems it verboten to practice any less than the full enforcement of federal law pertaining to illegal immigrants. Righties are correct on this talking point; the laws have become lax because of acceptance and necessity (people wouldn't be here if they weren't filling a labor need). However, this law is the equivalent of requiring your state to constantly monitor (not discourage or warn about) speed limits and issue tickets for even one MPH over listed limits. But monitoring methods aren't perfect! Exactly.


2. The law states that anyone an officer has engaged in lawful contact must be required to prove citizenship. Lawful contact would include anyone suspected of committing a crime.


3. The law then defines any person who is an illegal immigrant on any land, public or private in AZ as breaking the law (therefore committing a crime).


4. The law also defines anyone hiring or transporting an illegal immigrant as a violation of law and therefore reasonable suspect of illegal action.

So in the real world, can you understand how law enforcement might get pissed about this law? Can you understand how it may be described as racist?

It literally makes every law enforcement professional required to investigate whether or not a crime is being committed by anyone who may or may not be an illegal immigrant because trespassing is a violation in itself. A Mexican being on Arizona soil is a crime. How do you ascertain if someone is an illegal immigrant? Darker skin's going to be one tip-off. "Papers, please." A white guy or woman driving yourself and your Latino friend to work? Might be transporting! "Papers, please."

And despite all these terrible, terrible promotions of pretty blatant racism, Hannity and Limbaugh and the like can claim it's all good-hearted because at the very end, as a disclaimer, Sec. 11 Pt. C states: "This act shall be implemented in a manner consistent with federal laws regulating immigration, protecting the civil rights of all persons and respecting the privileges and immunities of United States citizens."

Ooohhh! So they were just saying that! Of course. You wouldn't want to violate anyone's civil rights, right? Assume someone's guilty based on their skin color? Preposterous! Obviously we're just protecting our citizenship by killing tourism and civilly raping the citizens of this fair state.

Good job Arizona! And all those great Republican who support the law? They support you too, right? Nope. Turns out they're moving the GOP convention to FLA and screwing you on that tourism absence too. Ouch. That's gotta hurt. At least it's a dry hurt.

LA Ate Me!

After offering a double dose of Van Mural love, as a sacrifice to the gods that be, a brief explanation of my absence the past week: I was in Los Angeles. First time there and it was awesome.

I can't yet put into words how amazing the experience was, but will certainly say that Los Angeles has won me over as much as it was demystified during my visit.

So mind the gap, I'm back from the cultural foraging. For now.

Van Mural: Bungalows & Dragons!

I was going to crop this first one to highlight the van itself, but what better to highlight a mediocre van mural than by retaining the shitty bungalow in lower-middle class suburbia as its backdrop?




And because I'm always down with twofers (especially when pertaining to numbers of concomitant nightly sexual partners), here's another love for you. Pimped as any Conan-Dragon-Lady mural-ed van should be!




As a matter of fact, I believe I'll be doing some dragon mural research for next week. Expect a big'n!

Dick Morris What?

Ugh, another example of sloppy work from the right in some of the terrible emails I get from their lists:



I'm a well-educated writer with a penchant for a hard edge towards grammar. And I don't know if it was the phrasing (AWK = awkward) or the unnecessary comma, but it took me over an hour to discern what was being said here.

Apparently the translation for "Dick Morris [See is] Armageddon for Dollar" is not "Dick Morris Goes to Dollar Theater to View Bruce Willis in Armageddon" but "Dick Morris Prognosticates the End of the American Dollar." So Dick's a seer of some sort now.

Unfortunately for the seer, "Armageddon" does not mean "the end" or "the destruction" but more of a "final battle" as a reference to an actual place in the Apocalypse of St. John from the Bible. But the Dollar is American; isn't everything American better and stronger and kicks some serious ass over the rest of the world? Why the surrenderist, defeatist language Dick? Don't you believe in and love America? Don't you want to win?

Perhaps it's the scary money that shuffles Dick back into a corner when discussing finances. You see, Dick Morris was the subject of an IRS tax lien for $1.5 million in 2003, and was named on Connecticut’s list of top 100 tax delinquents in 2007, to the tune of $452,367. Oops!

Maybe Dick needs to get out of the business of shucking books or goods or talking on news shows that have anything to do with money forever. Or maybe hair tonic from bald guys is your thing.

But It's MY Wine

Seriously. Don't take my wine.

Van Mural Mural Van?

Does a mural of a van count?



...only if it has a water meter on the side! And a creepy man with flowers.


But this is more like it, curtains (um, bedsheets) and all:



Ewwww...

Holy Shit I Made Mike Church's Facebook!?

It's true! If you go to Dude's Wall, Cause For Concern's post on Mike Church getting things wrong is listed with a lovely bevvy of his myrmidons commenting on my blog. It's delicious!

Apparently the trite, post-humorous host that swoons his followers with "dude" and words that begin with "über" was bored enough to ego-troll-surf to find a post over 2 years old. Ironically, shouts of "automaton" are spouted by Anynomous goons filtered to this blog by means only meant for silly listeners. I respond to those troll comments in my comment.

Most mentioned nag: I swears too much! OMG!

As with most right-wing readers, they swarm in with ad hominem attacks and fail to address the questions at hand (and those that do are laughable).

As I've said and exemplified many times over: I may bill myself as a Godless Liberal, but spend most of my listening time to the right side of the dial, and not just for sniping and attacking. I actually listen to both sides. The left just makes much more sense the majority of the time.

And my original post of 2 years ago stands: the words he spoke and I heard were either misleading or wrong. Nothing else.

That said, I always enjoy it when my points are proven by the ignorance of the responses. I'm sure I'll get more. Stay tuned!

A Poor-Ass Bombing

I'm listening to the teevee right now.

They are talking about the Times Square Non-Bombing that didn't quite happen yesterday.

Is this a joke? Is it April 1?

Seriously - the goon(s) who set the whole thing up basically tried to use firecrackers to ignite propane tanks that aren't even open and bet on gas canisters to make it go "boom."

The media is (barely) using the word "amateur." I would use the word "retarded." Irish Dancer (my daughter) could probably build a more effective bomb.

My biggest worry is not that the media is reporting the "dangers" of the stupidity of what was going on but what our government is doing right now.

We may be looking at a simple, retarded version of terrorism.

We may also be looking at a retarded version of terrorism that is a purposeful misdirection. Not a good one, but something altogether different.

If I was the US Gov't, I'd be focusing on what comes next, what this might be hiding.

But I'm sure they have plenty of operatives that do that...

Drudge is an Ignorant, Racist Goon

From Matt Drudge's headline site:



That's right: "They." And by "they" he's referring to all them dark-skinned folk protesting the new law in Arizona.

If you claim to be a media mogul, please don't claim to be completely ignorant of the "they" rhetoric, the "they" that are the minority, the "other," the "under." You are either a moron or a racist. I'm putting my money on both.

And the Right wonders why the "unfair" racist rap?