ABC's of Republican Politics in Iowa

Honestly, I didn't do as good a job making notes or even watching the Iowa GOP Debate on ABC Sunday morning. I'm much more of an evening person. But a couple of things stuck out through the Bush 'n' Iraq hummers being passed out by the majority of the all-white-male AARP panel as they crowded out reason on that stage.

Goofy-lookin' bridesmaids, though.

Same-sex marriage hits DC: The Romney-Giuliani Union

• Mitt Romney's one tall bastard. Dag. (And that means lifts and apple boxes for McCain.)


• McCain: Hydra-headed? When related to radical Islam, McCain was obviously making a reference (which how many of the populace would get?) that when one head is cut off, two grow in its place and how it's almost completely unmanageable. The nuance I'm certain Mac's overlooked, however, is two-fold: 1) the Hydra was successfully "dealt with" by one man - Hercules - as he seared each beheaded neck (yes, his cousin Iolaus handed him the brand/torch), showing wisdom over brute force. 2) the Hydra could not be destroyed completely and its immortal head was literally buried under a very heavy rock.


• Rep. Tom Tancredo: As president, it's not his job to educate our youth or provide health care. Michael Moore couldn't have written it better - sick and dumb doesn't allow for much in the way of practicable democracy, and provides the perfect, unchallenging, work-force mentality to provide the cannon fodder for what Tom's focus is: WAR. What a douche.


• 
  Tommy Thompson: What did you hit on the way to the debate and for the love of God, why did you put it on your head?


• Tommy Thompson: Eradicate breast cancer by 2015? In 8 years? Yep. Right after he makes HIV drugs affordable in Africa. WTF?


• Cheney have too much power? Blub-ah-blub...credentials, preparedness...blubba.


• Giuliani: What 911 needs is 911 and if we can't 911 then what about 911? Then the terrorists win.


• Ron Paul: Traditional conservative, anti-neo-con, against a prolonged, illegal war in Iraq. Which debate am I watching? Obviously the Kucinich of the group (but Dennis in '02 or earlier, more lashing, less concise, but no less concerned or credible). I like him.

That's about it. The rest was "criticizing" the administration without actually criticizing the administration, case in point with the Cheney bit.

I've pined for and made goo-goo eyes at Dennis Kucinich for a couple different stances of his, but the most important is his support of not-for-profit universal health care. When I watched the Democratic YouTube Debate, I was surprised at how silent the other candidates were about America being financially raped by insurance companies; system's broken, needs some overhaul. This debate pushed it one step further: you can be assured that with a Republican president, there will be NO change in the "shortcomings" of the current health care system.

And we will focus on war, war, war.

I almost can't wait for 9/17 (Repub YouTube Debate).

Minnesota and Iraq

Today the fifth casualty was counted in the Minneapolis bridge collapse.

As of this posting, icasualties.org has confirmed 3652 deaths of American troops in Iraq, 5 in the first 3 days of August.

The Minneapolis count may slowly rise over the next few days.

The count in Iraq will certainly rise. But no one's talking about that today.

Jesus for Sale! Concrete Jesus for Sale!

Get your hot, fresh pareidolia here!



Yes, once again, someone has combined their personal faith, "white Jesus" iconography, and the human being's innate ability to recognize facial characteristics out of seemingly random images, and this time it has manifested in Concrete Jesus.

WSET has the Concrete Jesus Story: Deb Serio was blacktopping her driveway, left a bucket in the garage, and a day or so later, viola: instant idol worship. But Deb's had Concrete Jesus in her garage for over a year. Why is this making news now?

I kept thinking of that grilled cheese sandwich, remember the grilled cheese sandwich that sold for like $30,000 and I thought, well ya know, someone valued that, someone got something out of that, so maybe someone will get something out of this.

Deb means maybe she will get something out of this.

And you, too, have a chance to own Concrete Jesus: He's on ebay. And you have less than a week left. But as opposed to the Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary, we're only at $250 as of August 2nd. Then again, Concrete Jesus doesn't have a bite taken out of it. Deb may be in for a serious windfall.

In a completely unscientific move, I have inverted the image, like they did with the Shroud of Turin, to possibly reveal an even clearer image of the Savior of Cement:



Crap. That didn't work. Now Jesus looks like nothing more than classic CSI blacklight on the bedsheets. Seminal Jesus. Ewww.

So back to the original:



Squinty, stylized eye, low mouth, I'm going with Akira Toriyama, illustrator of Dragonball Z, or Bruce Timm's Batman.

At the very least, can we all agree that the Lord didn't have a neckbeard?


NOTE: While this and other stories do and will fall under the "Christ on a Bun!" label, I have refrained from placing that in the title. I tired of it. If you, fair reader, have any input or feeling about this change, leave it in the comments. I will probably make fun of you. And your neckbeard.

UPDATE: The bidding has ended! Going once, going twice, and Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior is SOLD in 29 bids for US $1,525.69. Sorry Deb, no $30K windfall this time around.

Fox Attacks: Bloggers

According to FOX News and the goons who fill in the slots with their own right-wing babble, left wing bloggers like myself are the scourge of our planet. From the lovelies over at FoxAttacks.com:


[Alternate YouTube Link]

Seriously. Do something.

Christ on a Bun! Bible Dolls!

I mean "action figures," of course, because you'd hate to imbue those pretty, pretty boys with the snake venom of female play culture; it's not about combing hair or tending sheep...unless you're talking about Samson or David.

Didn't I do this back in April?



BBC has shouted us out to the next Xmas favorite: Bible Dolls! Or, er, action figures. Yes, kids, you, too, could create your own anachronisms! Samson vs. Goliath! David vs. Jesus! Moses vs. Herod!

Your muscle-bound faith can battle against itself, or against the God-starved children of Hogwarts Castle (or, at least their action figures), to teach them the true way to Heaven. Only one way to let Harry know about the One, True Lord: with muscle.

What the hell?

Exactly.

Chopper Crash Blame Game: Driver or Media?

A nice one for the families, ABCNews.com, via AP Photo/La Voz-The Arizona Republic, AJ Alexander

On Friday, you have probably heard, there was a not-so-crazy car chase in Phoenix, Arizona. During the chase, two media choppers - each holding a pilot and cameraman - collided and dropped to the ground, leaving no survivors.

In examining the wreckage and maintenance logs for possible causes of the crash, police have come to one possible answer: blame it on Christopher J. Jones, the cause of the chase.

What-what?

Yes, the police are now looking at charging Chris Jones with four counts of murder on top of everything else. I am not a bleeding heart "the criminal is the victim" sort, especially when some jackass steals a car and runs from police. But the helicopter crash falls far from his lap.

I'm not going into a diatribe on media morality, but if it bleeds, it leads, and if those photogs had captured a spectacular pile-up, violent suicide, or hostage event, the footage would have led every news hour for a week and they might even have been up for a local Emmy. This means more viewers, more ratings, more money, etc.

If a police officer died in pursuit of Chris Jones, another charge is not out of the question; an officer's job is to serve the public good, and while an official chase is not without questions of necessity, better to get a criminal off the streets than not.

But that's not what happened; somebody fucked up while chasing the $USDs pinned to Chris Jones's ass, and now four people are dead.

I could reductio ad absurdum this into the ground or reduce it to the station's fault for having certain policies or equipment, the police's fault for giving chase, or even God's fault (because, in the end, doesn't He run the show?).

Adding criminal charges to Chris Jones because a couple peeping toms with media passes and helicopters killed each other is like blaming the malaria the National Geographic photog gets on the antelope that was taken down by the lion.

I'm still searching for words, but unless it's the simple, obvious, "everyone loves a patsy and we've already got one" angle, how does this even make sense?

Photoshop Love: Pope...Castelgandolfo

From the Vatican Information Services: POPE TO RETURN TO CASTELGANDOLFO THIS EVENING.

Pope? Castelgandolfo? Castle Gandalf? Anyone?


Pope Benedict gets pimped out for ComiCon '07

FDA Ignores Nanotechnology

Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

I can't say I know all the ins and outs of nanotechnology, but new products are emerging that use tiny versions of the chemicals that are considered "safe" by the FDA (which is questionable in the first place).

From the EurekAlert:

Project on Emerging Nanotechnologies science advisor Andrew Maynard underlined that “EPA’s approach ignores the scientific research evidence to date that different nanostructures with the same molecular identity present different hazards.” Nanotechnology is a rapidly growing sector of the economy that will represent an estimated $2.6 trillion in manufactured goods by 2014, or about 15 percent of global manufactured goods output.

What do we know about how the technology affects us? "Not much." Advanced tech used in products we use every day might end up being dangerous since the FDA is not testing them. But that doesn't stop the FDA from verbally ignoring the potential of danger. From New Scientist:

"The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) says the rising number of cosmetics, drugs and other products made using nanotechnology do not require special regulations or labelling.

In the US, at least 300 consumer products, including sunscreen, toothpaste and shampoo are now made using nanotechnology...

Nano means more than just tiny. It means these materials can be fundamentally different, exhibiting chemical and physical properties that are drastically different," says George Kimbrell, staff attorney at the group. "The consumer is being made the guinea pig."

Business wins again, leaving the consumer to guess, despite a federal program "designed" to protect us.

FDA: WTF Award.

Saddest Thing I've Ever Seen

While driving down Plainville Road the other day, I spied an old man, slowly walking in the mid-day sun. The waning, muddled mass of hair on his head matched the white of the three days' stubble on his cheeks, his chin, his lip, all lightly glowing with sweat. The ragged, worn, beige button-down shirt and dusty, cuff-dragged, dark brown pants were draped on his emaciated frame, much like his thin, tired skin.

He moved up the sidewalk with unsteady ease, a look of vacant pain filling his face, which had been frightfully numbed by the miles and years spread out like so many disappointments in his wake; on these his eyes were fixed, a thousand yards away.

Supporting his shuffle, his hands were wrapped tightly around the handle bar of an old Wal Mart shopping cart, the wheels wobbling in fits and starts at the uneven walkway in front of him. The plastic cross-hatch side of the cart facing the street was almost entirely broken away, leaving the reveal to any passer-by: it was completely empty.

I saw this man, sad and broken, who by all visible accounts had nothing in this world, save a shopping cart. And even that didn't work.


I then put in The Cure's Disintegration, called my parents to tell them I was sorry, and cut myself - just to feel. Please excuse the emocity. The seven o'clock show is completely different. Try the veal.

Notes on the Democratic Debate

The CNN/YouTube Democratic Debate was, well, watchable. It spurred debate between myself and Mrs. Shambles, for sure. CNN's Headline News this morning has been pissing all over itself with joy of the wondrous success it was.

The following are notes I collected during the watching. For the most part, they're in chronological order. The first note is what made me realize I was going to have some serious feedback on the event:

• Obama: Did the only African-American candidate for president just come out in favor of "Separate but equal" for the treatment of homosexuals and marriage? I do believe he did. Irony hash mark so flaming it need not be commented upon. Shit. My first thought:
  [alt audio link]


• Edwards: Video: Hair? Not funny. While watching, drinking our Miller Lite, we'd like to forget how much you paid to have your ears lowered, and that song hearkens back to a time of revolution and innovation; you embody neither.


• Hillary: Video: Intermittently readable. Note to CNN and Hillary - not everyone has a 72" Plasma.


• Biden: I know you heard it from U.S. military officials in Europe, but do you really think 2500 U.S. troops could fix Darfur?


• Biden: 1 year most probable for actual pullout. NOW is nice, but that makes a lot of sense.


• Kucinich: "Text Peace" - You have a great message; stick to it. As Anderson said, "Yes, we'll see your video."


• Obama: Did troops in Viet Nam die in vein? Blub-u-blub-a-blubba


• Edwards: Should women register for Selective Service? Question dodged, Anderson skipped callout.


• Hillary: Women in Muslim countries. Of course leaders will listen; they already do. Good answer. Stupid question.


• Obama: General - get with the speech coach; the "ah"s are painful, like focusing on the breath intake of a news anchor, and you sound uncertain in everything you say.


• Richardson: Scrap NCLB! Yay!


• Dodd & Obama & Hillary: Elbow-whored their way into the public school question; we want to hear about public school kids (Yay Kucinich!), not why private school was necessary or unavoidable.


• Kucinich: Energy reformation - total revamping, good show.


• Richardson: Apparently supports "touchtone" voting. Those crazy newfangled kids and their touchtone voting. "Stop chewin' my shorts and let's go to the rave music fest," he quickly added.


• Biden: Video: Isn't the purpose of this format to not show traditional campaign videos? For shame.


• Kucinich: Video: Text PEACE. Okay. It happened a little quickly and maybe I should've had a do-over. I get the idea, it's innovative, but is that the best format for this? Um, universal health care?


• Dennis Kucinich is the only candidate for 2008 that supports universal not-for-profit health care for life, yet as the only candidate with a real, non-corporate, non-insurance stance, he was completely excluded from the health care discussion. More like Anderson Pooper. Sorry. That was poor.


• Gravel: At any point in the evening: Shut up! Okay, "follow the money," but the disheveled hair, the sometimes-spittle that fired past the mic, the man is like the infirm, drunk "you don't know me!" uncle at the family reunion. And we're all a little embarrassed.


• Biden: Gun control: Dude. I know we were all thinking that the guy who called his big-ass gun his "baby" was a little nutty, but you called him "mentally imbalanced" and then quipped "hope he doesn't come lookin' for me." There's a reason the phrase "gunnin' for 'em" exists. Faux pas, voter block alienation on insult, not principle.


• Richardson: Final comment: Any of these candidates would do great in the White House...as my VP. Snap!


• Edwards: Final comment: I liked Hillary's jacket. Dick.


• Biden: Final comment: "Dennis, the thing I like best about you is your wife." Did you actually just say that?


• Kucinich: Final comment: Used opportunity to lash at Anderson, missed opportunity at "right hand man/woman" quip.

That's about it, the stuff that stuck, anyway. I missed about 12 minutes in the middle because I hit the channel up instead of the volume up and killed the DVR cache from potty breaks, etc., but I think it went well.

Hillary's a strong candidate, and I didn't have much to say about her, but I was impressed overall. For as much speaking time as she got, it was all done professionally.

I had Obama on the back burner until last night; he's a little blubbery and the "separate but equal" really killed him in my mind.

Kucinich not enough, Gravel too much, and the rest: meh.

I support a drastic overhaul of the system. I support an uprooting of corruption. I support universal not-for-profit health care. I support Dennis Kucinich.

UPDATE: In slo-mo replay of the "Who came in a private jet" question I caught during the still-ongoing CNN circle jerk, we had some "Hell yeah"s, some "Um, I don't know, Sean Hannity might make fun of me"s, and a single, chuckling Kucinich in the foreground, his hand decidedly DOWN. Hell yeah.

HR 676 Universal Healthcare: Don’t Stop Believin’

35 Percenters have rolled out yet another bit of Kucinich '08 love with some Blue Gal appeal. Enjoy!



[Alternative YouTube Link]

Bush Confusion Revisited

Last week, I posted on how Bush was flashing his package to the insurance industry with a wink and a nod by railing against giving kids - children who are by default victims of their parents' decisions - free insurance. This weekend I saw SiCKO and will have much more ranting on the way. But back to the post and this picture:



Now, I don't have the superpowers of CSI Enhance > Enhance > Enhance technology, but let's take a closer look:



There is going to be some distortion based on the refraction of light due to the water, but clearly, all his fingers aren't on the home keys. Taking into consideration that in order to demonstrate to the president that the keyboard that is under water is working, a scientist might use the visible cord to hook it up to a working computer, possibly with a word processor open on the screen, then we can assume that by typing on the keyboard, a result could be seen on a monitor of some type (love them puns).

With that thought in place, the president's fingers splayed akimbo on the keyboard like a drunken spider's legs, and that painful hybrid look of confusion and concentration, I vote that the president has no idea how to type. Further, technology of any kind confuses and mildly frightens him, much like black people or the monster in his closet.

Most importantly, I cannot get over simply staring at that picture and saying to myself "This is the leader of our country." It makes me want to move to Europe. Now.

But like I said, I'll be talking about SiCKO soon.

Bill O'Reilly Hates on Gays ...Again

This one from Media Matters is about a week old from good ol' Bill, but then again, I don't get time to blog on Sundays. Leave it to Bill to bring a non-issue to a fever pitch (no pun apologies today).

During the July 12 edition of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor, host Bill O'Reilly responded to a viewer's email regarding his July 11 report on a gay pride night at the San Diego Padres' Petco Park the same night as a hat giveaway for children, during which O'Reilly called it "insane" to "cluster" gay men and lesbians during a "hat giveaway for any kid under 12." In his email, the viewer stated that O'Reilly's "position seems to imply that putting gays and kids together in one place is a bad thing" and claimed that "kids are around gays every day." O'Reilly responded: "But not thousands of them, sir. That can be confusing to children."

Bill, the kids went to a baseball game and most of them - and their parents - were certainly oblivious to any homosexual presence. That's because gay people look just like you and me. I know, it's a controversial view, but there it is.

Is it because you don't want a gay taint on something so traditionally American and Masculine as baseball? Is it because you have some long-defunct festering sore in your brain that still equates homosexuals to pedophiles? Either way, the issue is with you, Bill, not the kids, parents, or homosexuals that just want to enjoy a ball game. The "Worlds Collide!" banner during this story is the testament to your own sensationalism.

As for these kids being confused: if they were aware of the presence of homosexuals at the game and saw them enjoying baseball - just like they were - then they may have made a very real and humanistic observation that gay and straight are not so different after all. The only way this could lead to confusion would be if it were butting up against a previously indoctrinated and bigoted view of America, one which Bill O'Reilly apparently believes should be solidly in place.

Kids, Sex Ed, Obama Throws, Romney Ducks

Best article I could find on the topic was the ABC News version entitled "Sex Ed for Kindergartners?" (via Drudge).

Here's the rundown:

• Obama reaffirms an issue almost 4 years old with Planned Parenthood, stating "age-appropriate" sex ed should begin in kindergarten.
• Romney's all "No one in my state said there wasn't enough sex ed."
• Someone points out Massachusetts has sex ed plan that can begin in pre-kindergarten
• "We had not awareness, no input and certainly did not promote these curriculum frameworks," said Fehrnstrom, who served as Romney's communications director all four years that he was governor.
• Obama, sitting in his living room quietly whispers "Ooh, snap. I'm good."

As Obama stated, kids knowing the difference between good touching and bad touching is a good thing, and that would fall under sex education. Back in 2004: "If they ask a teacher 'where do babies come from,' that providing information that the fact is that it's not a stork is probably not an unhealthy thing. Although again, that's going to be determined on a case by case basis by local communities and local school boards.'"

Personally, I had the "puberty/boys 'n' girls/basic sex/ask me anything" talk with our daughter when she was in 3rd grade, just after she turned 9.

Take your moment to gasp. (Oh, the humanity!)

Why would I do such a thing? Because kids in 3rd grade are already talking about it, trading horribly incorrect information, whether from older siblings or something misinterpreted on Skinemax. Little girls in 5th grade are giving little boys in fifth grade blow jobs. It's not happening everywhere, but it's happening, and it only gets worse in Jr. High. And if you have kids, YOU need to be established as an approachable expert and authority concerning sex NOW.

We no longer live in the world where I grew up, where 7th grade started the bra boom, and we're eons from the reality in which Obama or Romney copped their first feel.

But if Mitt Romney wants to remain oblivious to reality around him and tell these children, their minds being torn asunder by hormones and emerging sexual identity, that they should just not have sex, to just say no to naughtiness, then that is his prerogative.

Personally, I'm not too worried. Should by some Joseph Smith revival miracle of asshattery Mitt Romney actually win the presidency, the best way to tell how a person will act in the future is to look at their past actions; he was so absent-minded and ineffective concerning sex ed policies in one state, how is he going to effect change in 50?

Synopsis: Obama runs away with this one.

And in a totally underhanded and unassociated train of thought deliberately designed to alienate Mitt Romney based on his religion: Did you know Mormons wear funny underwear?



Okay, not entirely unrelated; perhaps that's how they can be so nonchalant about abstinence: no one's getting laid in those.

Bush Wants Kids Sick?

From WaPo:

The president said he objects on philosophical grounds to a bipartisan Senate proposal to boost the State Children's Health Insurance Program by $35 billion over five years.

From WaPo: Bush struggles over waterproof keyboard - "Under water - so why don't it float?" he quipped, drawing attention from his inability to type. No, I don't know why the retarded keyboard pic was used to demonstrate this bill.

Anyone who has this quizzical look on his face about a waterproof keyboard should not be making "philosophical" arguments about poor kids getting free health care.

The 10-year-old program, which is set to expire on Sept. 30, costs the federal government $5 billion a year and helps provide health coverage to 6.6 million low-income children whose families do not qualify for Medicaid but cannot afford private insurance on their own.

About 3.3 million additional children would be covered under the proposal developed by Senate Finance Committee Chairman Max Baucus (D-Mont.) and Republican Sens. Charles E. Grassley (Iowa) and Orrin G. Hatch (Utah), among others. It would provide the program $60 billion over five years, compared with $30 billion under Bush's proposal. And it would rely on a 61-cent increase in the federal excise tax on cigarettes, to $1 a pack, which Bush opposes.

Damn.

Isn't the president supposed to keep our interests at heart?

Hahahahaha! Sorry. Just kidding.

Kucinich 2008

I'm getting more and more focused on the beauty of the Kucinich campaign, the real confrontations on the real issues, the "look at the root" as opposed to the dance-around and "let's treat the symptoms" talk, the anti-monarchy mentality that, well, Clinton and Edwards exhibit so wonderfully here (h/t to Blue Gal for this gem):



I've added a banner on my left (your left too) to nail home the point.

Put Kucinich on your list. He doesn't get off on this stop. We need him.

"I'm the kind of guy who believes I can win a rigged game."

You go, Dennis.

The Real News: The Promise

This is what I was hoping for in a YouTube format when I originally wrote on The Real News.

The idealism, the genuine heart, the need for this: it just about makes me weep.

Watch. Support. It's about damn time.

Blog Meme Tagging WTF? Okay, I'll Play.

I work all day on the internet (for that "real job" thing). I use Firefox and regularly CTRL-SHIFT-Click on links I see to "read later, or on lunch, or in ten minutes", often times with more than a dozen tabs open at once on this "I love it" memory sink we call a delightful browser.

Often times I lose track of sources.

Which is why I do not know how I came upon New Pairodimes (hey, Zeno's Pair of Doc's - sorry, really "When conservatives mention how much they love the 50's, they are referring likely to a time when blacks "knew their place" not to our tax structure." makes me want to pee myself), but there it was. And when I did (referenced in a previous post), I began reading and hit upon Tag You're It:

There is this evil scourge going round the internets, where you tag one another and force the other person to reveal things about themselves and then pass the tag along to eight other people. It's sort of like a chain letter, but for geeks.

And what are the rules? Basically, you list 8 things about yourself. Then you "tag" 8 people in comments to play the idiot game, whore your blog, etc.

Pairodimes puts the smackdown on the chain-blog-meme-stupid mess by refusing to hit eight other blogs. I agree, and I shall take this to the next level of listing 8 things about myself without ever being tagged...and ignoring the "tag 8 others" rule. Smartest supergeek ever.

Really, I just want to talk about myself.

Here we go:

1. When moving to Cincinnati this month, it is now the seventh Ohio city I've lived in. That makes me kind of sad.
2. When I was young, I wanted to be an astronaut and joined the Young Astronaut's Club in school. I still dream about traveling into space, but hope there is a better way, more like Stargate. Otherwise, only my children or grandchildren would live to see the destination (wouldn't that suck - being born on a ship as a sperm donor life bridge to get your great-great-grandchildren to a distant star? Talk about emo rage).
3. I met my wife in front of a community theatre stage. I broke 4th wall protocol after curtain call one night to propose to her in front of the audience. We got to pick our own audience over a year later when we were married on that same stage.
4. I am a licensed minister and practice reiki.
5. I stopped going to Catholic church when I was 16 and despite my lack of respect for organized religion, am neither an atheist nor agnostic.
6. I support the Cleveland Browns and Indians, but don't really like sports, yet I will spend at least two hours every winter Olympics watching Curling.
7. I was raised on reading and books - Mom would read to us or Dad, even though not home evenings, would record himself reading - and read the unedited version of Stephen King's The Stand in sixth grade. I remember deep lessons in humanity and the beauty gravity ads to boobs when a woman lies on her back. It took me 3 more years to verify that. I currently read 3 to 4 books at one time.
8. Cheese is my favorite food or food addition, but I can only eat it melted (best), a good mozzarella string stick (very good), or on something like crackers (tolerable); Chewing blocks of cold cheese makes me gag.

Love it long time. Hate it. You've got me.

And sign up, dang you, for the Feedblitz on the left.

Christ on a Bun! Ginormous Butter Jesus

Just to clarify: I did, in fact, say Ginormous Butter Jesus.

Travelling north on I-75 from Cincinnati to the middle of nowhere (Zanesfield) has few highlights: Dell distribution center, the skeleton of an emerging IKEA (amen!). But there it was. Mrs. Shambles had seen it before, called it the Butter Jesus. I was anxious; I had never seen a Butter Jesus and was imagining something low key like a smaller version of the Rio de Janeiro Jesus. Lord was I wrong:



Christ with a perm! Well, not literally, just as the Butter Jesus is not literally made of butter. It is "King of Kings," a Coriell Design for Solid Rock Church, standing 62 feet, which would put the Lord - should He so choose to rise out of the water like the Kraken in Clash of the Titans - at probably over 100 feet tall. That's a lot of Jesus, so much that He dwarfs the cross on which He was crucified.

I guess that's one way for a church to spend $250,000. Damn.

One more image with a little more perspective and a little less buttery goodness:



That's some good highway viewin'.

I never could've guessed.

PantsMan Roy Pearson Continues to Embarrass Himself

This is basically a repost with the change in bold. Mr. PantsMan actually appealed, saying they don't understand what "satisfaction guaranteed" means.

$54,000,000 pants makes me mad. It should make you mad. With all the BS spewed about increasing medical malpractice frivolous suits, real frivolous suits should make you mad too. So make a difference and make it loud.

At a time when SCOTUS is pissing away reason concerning free speech, religion and campaign finance cases, a new judicial plague is a foot; actually, it's a single judge as plague manifest: Roy L. Pearson, Jr. You've probably heard, but here's a brief synopsis:

• Roy takes suits to Custom Cleaners, owned by Ki, Jin and Soo Chung
• Roy picks up suits, notices pants are missing from one suit
• Roy wants $1,000 for the suit
• Chungs say "no"
• Roy sues for $67,000,000
• Chungs try to settle for $12,000
• Roy says "no," eventually bumps down suit to $54,000,000
• Court says Roy's a choad
• Choad appeals

Roy Pearson is a U.S. Administrative judge (although currently not hearing cases?) who has seriously financially damaged a hard-working family. I'm pleased that the court ruled against him, but now that he's appealed, I can't leave it alone. This should probably go further.

More info:

If you would like to leave a message expressing your outrage you can snail mail to:

Pearson, Roy L Jr
3012 Pineview Ct NE
Washington, DC 20018-1617

Or leave a message on his answering machine (he doesn't answer his phone directly anymore): (202) 269-1191

Or send him an email: roypearsonjr@verizon.net

...
According to Marc Fisher of the Washington Post, a legal defense fund has been established. You can contrubute through the Chung family's lawyer, Chris Manning.

Chris Manning
Manning & Sossamon PLLC
1532 Sixteenth Street NW
Washington, DC 20036
202) 387-2228
202) 387-2229 (Fax)
Email: cmanning@manning-sossamon.com

Remember to always be kind when expressing outrage.

Now, if CNN would just shut the hell up about the idiots suing the TB patient (with no actual damages), we might just have some real news.

Save Radio on the Internets! Last Chance!

I wrote about the old May 15th deadline where the Copyright Royalty Board was going to impose new fees that are absurdly larger than what regular radio and broadcast fees are. The extended date is July 15th.

That's Sunday!

Yes, that's Sunday. This is our last chance. And if we don't act, internet radio will die a fast yet painful death as they'll have to pay these sick fees retroactive to January 2006: immediate bankruptcy.

I like Pandora. I like streaming radio. I'd like to stick it to the money-whoring of the CRB. And I don't necessarily want to be the "I told you so" guy on Monday when none of these services are available because their owners are either trying to protect their business or their own personal funds...and houses...and families.

Look up your congressional representatives at Save Net Radio. Call them. Make it count.

I did.

The Bad Science of Dreaming

I caught a Weird Science blurb on MSNBC by Jeanna Bryner of LiveScience.com, and I had to do a double take and shake my head in disbelief:

In general, scientists agree that dreaming happens during your deepest sleep, called Rapid Eye Movement (REM).

No, no, no!

Yes, scientists agree most dreaming occurs during REM sleep, but this is actually the least deep of the stages of sleep. You can also see a diagram on this page showing how REM is at the top, and you hit that stage (and start dreaming) at about 90 minute cycles. The deepest sleep stages are N3 and N4, signified by pronounced delta brainwave activity.

I knew neuropsychology would come in handy down the road.

I have contacted Jeanna Bryner on the subject.

Dropping the Dollar to Hell

I'm no economist or even a business major, but take this into consideration: In April of 2002, the newly-monikered Mrs. Shambles and I traveled to the beautiful, charming country of Ireland. This is soon after the Irish punt was (reluctantly) surrendered to the new-fangled Euro. Trade between the dollar and the euro was similar to the Canadian dollar at the time: $0.89 would get you €1. Good stuff. Later that year - around November - they hit dead even ($1 = €1). Today, we saw a new record in that one-way see-saw: $1 will get you € 0.72.

Is this because the € is way cooler than the $? Well, not entirely; the article linked above cited the wonderful world of subprime lending! For those of you unaware of this practice, it basically allows those who have questionable credit to get a loan - usually a home loan - at a reasonable rate.

That's great! What a service!

Woah, hold on kids. It's not that noble. Here's the rub: While the first year or two of blissful home ownership may be manageable, the fine print jumps monthly payments soon after and keeps the raises coming. In many cases, the home owners can no longer afford the home and must sell or spiral into bankruptcy and surrender their houses. Foreclosure is at epidemic levels, sometimes decimating entire neighborhoods and lowering property values across the board. Hence the drop in the dollar.

True, people who cannot truly afford a house should not buy one. If they try, they should have a serious and complete understanding of the terms of the loan. But many don't. And the money-hungry banking industry is, in part, to blame. This is beyond capitalism in the way that pimping hos is beyond selling services. It's greed; it's money gluttony; it's shitting where you eat. But if all the springs are tainted with feces, the only way to stay alive is to drink poop water.

The interesting aspect to drinking poop water is that the poopers are not only polluting the landscape, but sinning as well.

I am not an economist, banker, or religious zealot, but I am aware of a word that does not get brought up enough: USURY. Usury (you-sa-ree), in old testament meaning, is charging interest. It is a sin. And no one seems to mind. My favorite quote:

He lends at usury and takes excessive interest. Will such a man live? He will not! Because he has done all these detestable things, he will surely be put to death and his blood will be on his own head.
- Ezekiel 18:13

Lending at usury means lending with a fee - taking an extra, heavy interest payment is a compounding of the betrayal and results in what Ezekiel calls, well, death.

How many of our banking magnates claim a Judeo-Christian life? How many of our local, state, and federal representatives claim a Judeo-Christian life while throwing us under the bus of corporate breaks and lenient laws? May the money lining their pockets burn out their eyes in the hell they have earned!

Sorry, was that too much? You're right. Usury at this point in our timeline has been relegated to "eh, not so bad." Why? Well, sure, God's Word was written about how it is a sin, but you've got to dumb it down a bit for the modern world, even if you keep every other word in the Bible as sacred and refuse to change interpretations when it comes to sex or contraception.

Even the Vatican has a bank.

But less cynicism: The good news is that the 17.80 I spent 5 years ago to purchase the €20 note I kept has now turned into a potential $27.78. That's a 56% increase in value. Oh, I should've invested in the €. Then again, I also should've invested in Chiquita when it was $0.10 a share (that'd be turning $100 into $18K at today's close).

Wah, wah, wah.

Real News Network: This Might Just Work

[Alternate YouTube Link]

This is the Real News Network, an emerging news station that deals with "NO advertising, NO government funding, NO corporate dollars, NO strings." It relies on $10/month from thousands of people all over the world. Think we can handle that?

I think it has a serious chance at working; people are sick and tired of being sick an tired of the alternative. And this is our shot. Take a look at "The Promise" video on their home page. Check out interviews on their YouTube page. And if you think it's worth it, if you think they're going to do what they say they're going to do, then volunteer. Support them.

Sometimes the river is so polluted that only by standing on the shore can we smell the stench. And then do something about it.

MoveOn.org's Town Hall on Climate Change

Check out MoveOn.org's Town Hall on Climate change. You can see videos on how the candidates answered questions. Then vote. You have about 12 hours left.

And who did I vote for?

Well, I am originally from Cleveland.

Seriously, I support Dennis Kucinich. He's the only candidate that seems willing to bring serious change to our country. Change we need.

More on support and endorsements and whys and hows to come. C'mon, we've still got 483 days left!

Smart Bombs in the Hands of Dumb People - Billy Bragg

"...if you got a website, I want to be on it..."

You've got it, Billy Bragg. via Blue Gal.

Bloody fucking brilliant. Watch and learn.

Is the Surge Working?

I don't believe I'd toss this into a News Salad, but even though just about everyone is dropping support from the administration, they're stickin' to their story and "plan" of heaving 21,000 troops into the hellmouth that is Iraq, with no plan of pulling out, even though, eh, there isn't much positive news coming out of Iraq. And 140,000 Turkish troops itchin' to kill 'em some Kurds, braced on Iraq's border isn't going to make things less complicated.

The administration's policy is like a sad, old man, like Dick Cheney. Grumpy curmudgeon, always muttering under his breath. But the muttering is signing statements and deception, and no matter what anyone else says or better plans are presented, he's going to keep on going the way it's always been, and that's that.

But is the surge working?

I'm going to tune into C-SPAN at 2pm today:

Now that the increase of troops is complete, the American Enterprise Institute takes an assessment of Pres. Bush's Iraq strategy. Danielle Pletka, AEI, moderates a conver-
sation between AEI Resident Scholar Frederick Kagan, former Acting Army Chief of Staff Jack Keane and defense Analyst
James Miller.

Updates on what they have to say later.

Christ on a Bun! Who is Helping Whom?

Self-gratifying Image Repost

In the official Vatican Information Service release of July 2nd, 2007 (yes, I subscribe), the VIS lays out "Benedict XVI's Prayer Intentions for July:"

His mission intention is: "That, aware of their own missionary duty, all Christians may actively help all those engaged in the evangelization of peoples."

Right now, I have a relative in a remote part of the world ruining cultures by evaporating their historical religions and traditions by taking over centers of worship and making them love Jesus instead; I'm not a fan of evangelization. But the Pope might want to look into his magic Popeball and define his terms with a bit more precision.

Otherwise, every Catholic just got the OK to play second fiddle to Ted Haggard. Well, not the gay stuff. Or the meth stuff....

Bush Commutes Libby's Sentence; I Yell at Television

Liberals's springs were still tensioned on the issue, and an overdue Bush finally sprung the trap: Georgie Porgie commuted Scooter's sentence.

This would be the only actual power Bush has over sentences of any kind ("All them words, they trip me up.") And no, it does not mean they carpooled yesterday.

President Bush decided - with complete legal right and no actual thought - to make Scooter Libby's punishment go away. Democrats pounced with good reason, but I'd like to look at this from a different angle.

Let's reduce this scenario: Imagine for a moment a "hypothetical" situation in which my daughter tells one whopper of a serious lie; Mrs. Shambles was asking her about something important, specifically warned her that lying would be an awful offense, and she lied anyway. Appropriate punishment in this case would be, say, 30 days grounded. But the next day, just before she was sent off to her room, I came out and said "No, the punishment was excessive. Why don't you go play with your friends - no grounding - but we'll be keeping an eye on you."

Aside from getting into a heated argument with the Mrs. for undermining our partnership of authority, I'd be undermining the very idea of justice.

Now, expand that to a national - nay, world - stage. Many people have made jokes about the impression our president makes on behalf of us, and this is a prime example. Let's close with the article:

Douglas A. Berman, a law professor at Ohio State University who is an expert on federal criminal sentencing policies, said it is "hypocritical and appalling from a president whose Justice Department is always fighting" attempts by judges and lawmakers to lower the punishment called for under federal sentencing guidelines. Berman said Bush's message amounted to "My friend Scooter shouldn't have to serve 30 months in prison because I don't want him to."

Our president is a complete asshat.

And, yes, I did yell at the television.

House Members Get What We Don't: a Raise

Cincinnatus

House members are seeking a "cost of living" raise.

Can I get a raise, too? I, too, am a lawmaker in the sense of voting for these choads.

Most members support the pay raise as a means of retaining experienced lawmakers and of making sure that Congress is not simply dominated by wealthy people. Many lawmakers maintain homes both in the expensive Washington housing market and back in their districts. On most days, they meet with lobbyists making far more than they do.

So by raising their own income, they will be "making sure that congress is not simply dominated by wealthy people."

What kind of idiot statement is that? They are already "wealthy."

But pushing it to $170,000 per year - what the shit?

Congress, you get the WTF Award for bullshit and greed.

I'm living in Cincinnati, named after Cincinnatus, the man who saved his country but after serving went back to farming. Where is that? Where is dedication to country with humility? And how can we tell congress that making a career out of "serving in office" is not an option? We'll have to vote you out. All of you. And only accept those who accept term limits as your replacements.

Or start a revolution. Seriously. Tear it down.

Any takers?

Book Burning, Bloodletting...

It's a long train, but it's worth the crash. From Jenkins Group, Inc., via Robyn Jackson, via New Pairodimes:

• 1/3 of high school graduates never read another book for the rest of their lives.
• 42 percent of college graduates never read another book after college.
• 80 percent of U.S. families did not buy or read a book last year.
• 70 percent of U.S. adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.
• 57 percent of new books are not read to completion.
• 70 percent of books published do not earn back their advance.
• 70 percent of the books published do not make a profit.

My initial reaction is sadness for the imaginations never ignited and worlds never explored through books.

This is immediately followed by a quick spout of stomach acid hosing the back of my throat and sadness for our country; these people vote.

And then inevitable, intellectual superiority.

I want to help motivate people to register and then vote. But what good is it if this many people have no understanding of the importance of books, in entertainment and history and science and literature, people who have never experienced the joy of losing four hours entangled in the language, the story, who have never felt the quiet dance of the author's words and the reader's imagination?

I feel a need to console words and receive consolation from them. Go hug a book. Then hug somebody you love. Then read them a book, or read with them.

Gary Oldman: Beethoven Bitten by Dracula, Cures Acting Bug?

I was going to go to bed, but got an email from a fellow Oldmanophile.

From cinematical:

In what I hope is fleeting, Luc Besson-sort of earnestness, Gary Oldman seems to be fed up with acting. Although he's had some super-successful mainstream stints recently in the Harry Potter and Batman franchises, the spark appears to have dimmed for the actor. He says: "I've had a great career, and I'm very lucky to do what I do. But I've been doing it a long time, and you can get tired. You might say I want to change careers or to do something else." He's tempted to return to the stage, but he fears that it's not just a movie-related disinterest: "I get misty-eyed about it, yeah. And I get offers. My love for acting... It's withered."

It has been 21 years since Oldman had his breakout role as Sid Vicious in Sid and Nancy. While two decades is a decent chunk of time, is it really enough for him to say adios? Since starring as the troubled music icon, he's made a great career, morphing into a myriad of roles -- one of the few chameleons that we actually have in the movie biz. He played Lee Harvey Oswald in JFK, vamped out for Dracula, took on dreadlocks for True Romance, became the maestro for Immortal Beloved, modernized as Zorg in The Fifth Element, played a Russian terrorist in Air Force One, tried a stint as Pontius Pilate on television, played a little person named Rolfe in Tiptoes and of course, he also plays a great Sirius Black and James Gordon. I really can't imagine a movie world without him, although it would be nice to see him in the meaty, gritty films of his past. While shining a bat signal or helping Harry Potter is fun, perhaps he'd feel better about his career if he could sink his teeth into another Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, or Leon.

As an actor, I am saddened by this news, as Gary Oldman is one of the idols that I have held in what is the magic of Range. And I have craved his appearance in any film I have seen.

I was going to add some research on contacting Gary, but I think if he thinks it's done, it's done. If the acting has soured for him, it has soured. And there's no fan-pining we can heap on the man that will change anything. I respect his decision and only pray he can again find joy in the art that I can't even find the time to practice.

Or maybe that's a wakeup to me to stop living vicariously through amazing actors and pining - myself - for things that I could make happen, and making the time for it if I truly wanted to.

But we should weep.

"What's a Drexel?" indeed.

Ricky's Commercial for the 100th Post!

I finally have a commercial!

Okay, it's for Subaru, but it's got serious animals saying my name.



Winner: Tittering porcupine with an honorable mention to the moose. But since the moose could kick the porcupine's ass (with necessary nose and hoof piercings), I'm at an impasse.

And for those who are counting, this is my 100th post. So who buys me a beer?

Impromptu interview with the writer by the writer:

RICKY: So, what's been going on lately?

RICKY: I've moved from Winston Salem, NC to Cincinnati, OH with the wife and kid. It's a great city with much to offer. One word: Skyline.

RICKY: And your blogging?

RICKY: It's going well. I've just hit 100 - Woo! - I'm still doing posts for All Things Democrat, and may accept an offer to mobile blog for 80108.com, should they accept me.

RICKY: So why do you hate God?

RICKY: Hate God? Wait, who's conducting this interview?

RICKY: You are part of the liberal, drive-by media. Why?

RICKY: Because only liberals are fighting for the Constitution of the United States of America right now. Are you serious about the drive-

RICKY: So you think illegals should overrun our great country?

RICKY: Who the hell are you?

RICKY: Ann Coulter said-

RICKY: That's it (scuffle)

RICKY: I'm sorry, our interviewer has been "detained" under the Idiot Act. For those of you unfamiliar with the act, it sanctions nipple clamps hooked up to a car battery for anyone unfamiliar with the Constitution.

And that's where I get off.

More to come. Enjoy. Sign up for the Feedblitz to the left of this post if you love it so much you want to marry it. Or just make occasional, sweet love to the words.

The words is all you get. Sorry.

Roy L. Pearson, Jr., Embarrasing Humanity and Washington

At a time when SCOTUS is pissing away reason concerning free speech, religion and campaign finance cases, a new judicial plague is a foot; actually, it's a single judge as plague manifest: Roy L. Pearson, Jr. You've probably heard, but here's a brief synopsis:

• Roy takes suits to Custom Cleaners, owned by Ki, Jin and Soo Chung
• Roy picks up suits, notices pants are missing from one suit
• Roy wants $1,000 for the suit
• Chungs say "no"
• Roy sues for $67,000,000
• Chungs try to settle for $12,000
• Roy says "no," eventually bumps down suit to $54,000,000
• Court says Roy's a choad
• Choad may yet appeal

Roy Pearson is a U.S. Administrative judge (although currently not hearing cases?) who has seriously financially damaged a hard-working family. I'm pleased that the court ruled against him, but I can't leave it alone. This should probably go further.

Surfing this morning, I was searching for some information to post here and came upon Planck's Constant. Delicious. Just what I was looking for:

If you would like to leave a message expressing your outrage you can snail mail to:

Pearson, Roy L Jr
3012 Pineview Ct NE
Washington, DC 20018-1617

Or leave a message on his answering machine (he doesn't answer his phone directly anymore): (202) 269-1191

Or send him an email: roypearsonjr@verizon.net

...
According to Marc Fisher of the Washington Post, a legal defense fund has been established. You can contrubute through the Chung family's lawyer, Chris Manning.

Chris Manning
Manning & Sossamon PLLC
1532 Sixteenth Street NW
Washington, DC 20036
202) 387-2228
202) 387-2229 (Fax)
Email: cmanning@manning-sossamon.com

Remember to always be kind when expressing outrage.

Now, if CNN would just shut the hell up about Paris getting out of jail (sur-prise, sur-prise, the exemplar of journalism scat, Nancy Grace, covers the Paris release on her show tonight. Whee!)

Fight Hate Crimes with the Human Rights Campaign

Watch this:



Weep.

Now go to the Human Rights Campaign and add your voice.

Christ on a Bun! $190 Million: That's Alotta Church

What would Jesus build? Would Jesus spend $190 million on flash and glass? From the California Catholic Daily:

According to the Oakland Tribune, the city’s rising Cathedral of Christ the Light complex is "the most expensive in American history." The complex, which includes the nuclear reactor-like church itself, chapels, a plaza, a mausoleum, a conference center, diocesan offices, "gathering places," and Bishop Allen Vigneron’s residence, is currently running about $190 million – $10 million more than the Los Angeles archdiocese’s Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, which opened in 2002.

What pomp, pride, and excess. But not everyone's happy about it.

Some have criticized the project, saying the money could be better spent elsewhere – on schools, for instance, or services for the poor. The diocese, however, says the monies for the cathedral ($91 million raised by last December) will not come from diocesan funds but from earmarked contributions.

Good job diocese; you've verbally exemplified your illogical puffery! Who cares where the money came from? Who cares where or in what building you worship? If you are in charge of the diocese, you are in charge of God's mission on your little piece of Earth.

God's mission is not to win architectural awards; it is love and compassion for others, perhaps just like the Vatican's Guidelines for Pastoral Care of the Road, released the day after this overspending report. The Vatican's release focuses on the "pastoral care of road users, pastoral ministry for the liberation of street women, the pastoral care of street children, and the pastoral care of the homeless."

This is exactly what $190 million could be used for.

"Neither shall they say, Lo here or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you."
- Luke 17:21

Perhaps they should take some time, read their own book.

Free Genarlow Wilson

Demand Attorney General Thurbert Baker drop his appeal.

Genarlow Wilson remains in prison for a victimless crime: participating in consensual oral sex with a 15 year old when he was 17. After a Superior Court Judge voided his conviction on Monday, Georgia State Attorney General Thurbert Baker appealed the ruling over the outcry of thousands of Americans, with no reasonable justification.

Keeping Wilson in prison does nothing to keep Georgia safe. It simply continues the unnecessary destruction of a young man's life. Join us in demanding that Baker withdraw his appeal now.
_____

The inhumanity of some humans has long since ceased to amaze me, but has not numbed me to the sick feeling in my gut every time something like this comes up.

Go to the Free Genarlow Wilson page on the ColorOfChange website and add your voice to the outrage.

Then call/fax:
Thurbert E. Baker
Attorney General
Phone: 404-656-3300
FAX: 404-657-8733

Remember to be professional when voicing your disgust.

China Attacks with Tech Geeks...and Russia?

A little more to feed the Chinese obsession/paranoia. From the Telegraph:

China's People's Liberation Army had established units to develop viruses to attack enemy computer systems and networks, the Pentagon said.
...
The clearest example so far of cyber conflict came earlier this year when Estonia claimed that state-sponsored Russian hackers had attacked official websites in retaliation for the removal of a Soviet-era monument in its capital, Tallinn.
...
The Chinese foreign ministry rejected the Pentagon's report as "brutal interference" in internal affairs and insisted that Beijing's military preparations were purely defensive.

So China's planning, Russia's already executed, and they're all buddy-buddy?

Denial of service attack reports pop up from time to time, like military exercises by armed forces. A focused attack by powers outside and daemons inside the country? Well, if a Russian techno-fart could take down secured banking websites in Estonia, I think there's something there to be worried about.

Mr. Wizard, 1917-2007

Don Herbert, better known as Mr. Wizard, has passed away. I don't know what to say. Heard this from Phil Plait over at Bad Astronomy, Yahoo obit via BA. He popularized science in the 50's and 60's, but I was a child of the 80's and Mr. Wizard's World on Nickelodeon was my bread and butter. It was directly responsible for my love of all things science. If Mr. Wizard had been my college chem teacher, I may have stuck around to become a biochemist.

Mr. Wizard, you will be missed.

I didn't know an 80's television show intro could make me weep:



And yes, you can get it on DVD now. Here's the promo:



Mr. Wizard on (old) Late Night with David Letterman:



...and one more. Mr. Wizard's 1988 Energy Facts PSA:



You can see his official website at http://www.mrwizardstudios.com/.

More on China, Big 5 is 6 and Growing...

This is crossposted from my rant at All Things Democrat. I just started writing and researching and came up with too much good information for it not to be here as well. If this is paranoia and not conspiracy, it's mad uncanny.

Let's do a little focusing on China and why they're doing a little bit of scaring the hell out of me. China has a population of 1.3 billion. They have 2.25 million active troops in their People's Liberation Army with over 7 million troops total. They are a nuclear power with a spending limit that is growing by bounds and bounds every time we blink because their trade surplus is skyrocketing, recently bumping $22.5 billion (our trade profile uses the word "deficit"). This has to do with our trade practices (Wal-Mart itself imports 10% of all China's products) and our invariant deafness to still-shady human rights practices when someone's flipping a wad of Bennies in our ear.

China's feeding an already corpulent army with our fatback patronage. Some people are linking this to a history of threatening Taiwan, should they decide to get all batshit crazy and declare formal independence. So what are we doing? Surprisingly, nothing new: we've been Taiwan's primary supplier of arms since 1979; they're asking for more and we're saying they want even more than that.

Looks like we're building our own pickle just so we can be in it.

We're feeding the beast at both ends with complete ignorance about both halves and a blind eye to the military reality of the situation. We don't see the other pieces. China, this growing behemoth, is not just hungry for wealth, but to placate the masses, they must also devour oil. And today they were talking to Iran about becoming oil buddies. You remember Iran, who wants to wipe Israel off the planet? That country that Senator Lieberman (I) would like to attack?

Well, Ahmadinejad in Iran talks to Nicaragua in an "anti-US summit" and has a past of buddying up with Chavez in Venezuela (called Bushy the devil), and we call all three of them "tyrants" (or so say the Turks). Chavez is also deepening ties with North Korea, because they have a budding nuclear program and Chavez wants a piece of world domination. There is an apparent improvement in ties between Iran and North Korea, and they are both being supported by China. Russia and China are now entering their second ten-year period of "strategic partnership," Putin's got ties with Venezuela at "peak level," and last week increased marine ties with Iran were the order of the day. And this was all in the news in the last two weeks.

It appears to me that there is a growing group of malcontents who are only malcontent with us. We don't really like them and they don't really like us; they put up with us because we're big. But they're getting pretty buddy-buddy - carpooling to the office, happy hour on Thursdays - and they're coming into an understanding that if they all got together, they'd be hella-strong, like Voltron on crack. And hey, if the Ro-Beast keeps driving out to the desert every weekend, why not just keep hanging out, growing ties, and pooling resources.

And pretty soon? Well, they just came to the party to drink some oil and kick some ass. And it looks like we're all out of oil.

Kate Chase is right about Russia: there is a larger picture here. It is a web that includes China, Iran, Venezuela, Nicaragua, North Korea. Syria's not entirely out of it either.

Our only hope (besides Obi-Wan Kenobi)? Doughnuts. Yes, doughnuts. The doughnut chains are making it to China. Our best bet is to allow the delicious yet deadly pastries to infiltrate the country and hope fat travels like the clap in a trailer park. Lack of motivation and resolve will follow and they they'll be on par with us and our administration. If only we could make them stupid too...

VA Abandons Friend, Veteran - Needs Help, Insurance

By now you know that except for the tastiest of intermittent morsels, I don't do much writing about my personal life. The antics and idiocy of our political and religious leaders offers more than enough potato gun fodder for the masses to consider.

However, today I write about a friend of mine, a veteran of the Gulf War. Because of bureaucracy, he may lose his legs. Allow the letter I've written to my members of congress speak for itself:

Dear -----,

A very close friend of mine is a Veteran of the Gulf War. One day soon, he will need to have his legs amputated because Veteran's Affairs has abandoned him under a blanket of bureaucratic nonsense.

David was honorably discharged from Little Creek Amphibious base in 1998. He later married, had a son, and maintained a lucrative union manufacturing job. At the time that he held that position, the rules governing Veteran's eligibility were changing. In order for someone to get medical coverage, they had to register to be grandfathered in. Having excellent union insurance coverage for his family, David did not register. Soon thereafter, he unexpectedly began experiencing back pain. After a few treatments, the doctors said he could not work, and now he takes care of his son full time at home. In a shady move, his insurance company held on to a check until the coverage lapsed, sent it back, and canceled his insurance.

David's back is tolerable right now thanks to the treatments he did receive. However, David is also diabetic. With a house, bills, and insurance for herself and their son, David's wife is barely able to make ends meet. Adding him to her insurance would would be a preexisting condition, and would be excessively expensive because of it. Independent insurance is cost prohibitive. Purchasing any medication without insurance is laughable. Were David to get a job, it would barely be able to cover the cost of daycare for their son. Back to the plant could put him in a wheelchair.

But that's what he's looking at anyway. Without insurance, David cannot afford the testing supplies and medication necessary to control his diabetes. A couple months ago, blood began to pool in his legs due to poor circulation. Amputation is not far down the road. David gets the same answer from the VA: he is not eligible for any coverage because his wife makes too much money. I do not know the math behind this decision, but I do know what his wife makes.

I'm not asking for a handout for my friend;I am asking for his due. David honorably served our country during wartime. He has just about lost hope that anything can be done.

When did we stop taking care of our own?

You can keep a father, a veteran, my friend, your constituent, out of a wheelchair. Won't you?

See letter online (http://utteroutrage.blogspot.com/2007/06/va-abandons-friend-veteran-needs-help.html).

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Ricky Shambles

I am in the unique position as of now to be able to write 4 Senators and three members of congress with residences in two states (FYI, writing a senator or member of congress is sometimes made impossible unless you are a constituent).

As I said in the letter, I'm not looking for a handout. But I am looking for publicity. If you'd like to write your representative about my friend, I'd appreciate it. If you do, please comment about your experience below.

Members of Congress I have written with the above letter:
Senator Elizabeth Dole
Senator Richard Burr
Representative Mel Watt
Senator Sherrod Brown
Senator George Voinovich
Representative Jean Schmidt
Representative Dennis Kucinich (c/o relatives)

Thank you all.

Russia, Iran, China, Venezuela, North Korea ISO U.S. Ass to Kick

This image is being reposted for posterity. The topics that follow are not so recycled.



I have made these connections before (Jesus Built My Hot Rod But Muhammad Pumps the Gas, Putin's Pedestrian Poisoning, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Leaf Blower). It just seems like everything is ramping up as of late.

• Russia: U.S. keeps dry humping their missile defense cock against Putin's knickers and he's not having any of it, despite the polite lip service we saw at the G8. Russia's spies are at cold war levels. Are ours? Oh yeah, lotsa nukes.
• Iran continues to further its nuclear program, although reports of weapons are a little Pre-Iraq-Intelligence for my palette. He's got oil, he's got game, and now Mahmoud Ahmadinejad uses the word 'countdown' to describe Israel's end. And we still have newscasters who joke about the pronunciation of his name. Most Likely to be Invaded Before the Next Election Award goes to...
• That wacky, "ronery" Kim Jong Il is still launching missiles like a bandit and still abusing human rights in that wall-up hermitage he calls a country. Nuclear power. Most Likely to go Nuts Award.
• China continues its constant military buildup, reinforcing the People's Liberation Army over 2 million strong. Human rights abuses. Nuclear power. Wait. How many did you say?
• Looks like good ol' Chavez has the 5th largest armed force in Latin America. Venezuela is also the 5th largest supplier to our crude oil habit, making up over 10% of the top 15. He could cripple us and potentially put up a pretty good fight, especially if he's just backing his buddies. On/off talks with Iran ('bout nukes?).

The issues have shifted some, but the point remains the same: We need to watch our ass. While everyone's pointing their dick at the Middle East, the rest of the world still goes about its business. If these five countries continue the camaraderie I've pointed out before (it's been going on and it continues to do so), the U.S. could be in for a serious ass-whoopin'. You don't need all five players to join forces to get that whoopin' done either. The most interesting thing about a bar brawl are the unexpected players that jump in; and when the shit goes down, they're not always on your side.

Surgeon General: An Appointment for Bush

"Gays concerned by surgeon general nominee"

Ooh, watch it MSNBC and the several hundred other news outlets spitting out very similar headlines. It's not just those wacky, socially deviant queers that are concerned about Kentucky cardiologist Dr. James Holsinger. He's got us married straight freaks all in a tizzy too. He's a right whack job.

From MSNBC:

Sixteen years ago, he wrote a paper for the church in which he likened the reproductive organs to male and female "pipe fittings" and argued that homosexuality is therefore biologically unnatural.

"When the complementarity of the sexes is breached, injuries and diseases may occur," Holsinger wrote, citing studies showing higher rates of sexually transmitted diseases among gay men and the risk of injury from anal sex.

Pipe fittings? What the hell kind of analogy is that? Pipe fittings: bump one hole against another, turn and screw. That's typical: he's down with the tribbin' but thinks the man sex is dirty.

And did I mention that he "believes homosexuality is a matter of choice and can be 'cured.'"

And this is the man the president would like to be "America's chief health educator." Someone should tell President Bush that the best place to hide a bottle of whiskey is not under his skull, even if there is enough room.

And the person currently acting as Surgeon General? The person this insecure, bible-thumped homophobe will be replacing?

Rear Admiral Kenneth P. Moritsugu.

Yeah, sometimes I'm 10.

Exploring the Americas: Tastes Like Chicken

...or Polynesians. Or Polynesian chicken. What?

From LiveScience:

Popular history, and a familiar rhyme about Christopher Columbus, holds that Europeans made contact with the Americas in 1492, with some arguing that the explorer and his crew were the first outsiders to reach the New World.

But chicken bones recently unearthed on the coast of Chile—dating prior to Columbus’ "discovery" of America and resembling the DNA of a fowl species native to Polynesia—may challenge that notion, researchers say.

But I heard something a while back about the Chinese explorers:

After reading "1421," Liu Gang, a Chinese lawyer, realized the potential significance of a map he'd purchased for his private collection. Dated 1418 and clearly depicting the outlines of both North and South America, the map could be used to support Menzies' theory if it proves legitimate.

Authoritative? Not by any means, but enough to suggest there may have been at least one other...hold on, I'm getting some information from the first double aughts A.C.E. Seems that there's some evidence the Vikings may have been involved in exploration as well:

The latest evidence confirms that Scandinavians reached the North American continent almost 500 years before Columbus. Find out where they came from, how they traveled, what they did in America and how long they stayed.

So there are at least three civilizations that have a reasonably - if questionably - credible claim that they were in the Americas before Mr. Columbus.

Why do we still worship Chris Columbus, even if he never set foot in what is now the United States? Why is Columbus Day (Oct. 8th in 2007) a federal holiday?

He wanted to spread Christianity, you silly.

Christ on a Bun! Discovery Pimps Joyce Meyer, Jesus

How is it that I turn on The Discovery Channel one fine morning to find Joyce Meyer Ministries?



I flip through my favorites, longing for science and knowledge and I get this:

Joyce Meyer Ministries has a God-ordained mandate to impact the world. We are called to present the Gospel to the lost, disciple nations, feed the hungry, clothe the poor, minister to the elderly, widows and orphans, visit prisoners and reach out to people of all ages and in all walks of life. God requires that we teach people how to apply biblical truth in every facet of their lives, and encourage Christians to influence every aspect of the world around them.
...
Our goal is to reach every nation, every city, every day with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Hot damn. WTF?

Immediately, I thought it was the evil doing of Time Warner Cable, the monopoly moneybags pimp! So I called. I had to go from general call center to customer service to technical support to find out that it's not the necessarily evil provider of cable, but the Discovery Channel itself that is the woman of ill-repute, la bête du jambon, who is selling it's air time and spending early mornings whoring out the jesus junk to millions of science-seeking viewers.

Hold on. Perhaps the myrmidons of the Time Warner RoadRunner had infiltrated the tech support office and were feeding me misinformation. But there it was, right on Discovery Channel's FAQs:

Why do I get infomercials instead of programming?
During certain late night hours of each day (for example, 3 a.m. to 9 a.m. ET/PT for Discovery Channel), some of the Discovery Networks may contain paid programming or infomercials. Please go to the "TV Schedules" on our website to see the specific programming schedules for your favorite Discovery Networks.

Why is this a bad thing?

Joyce on evolution:

I encourage you not to swallow every story you see, hear or read about man’s origins. Check things out for yourself…do some research on the subject of creation so that your foundation of faith in God is sound, secure and immovable.

Whether it's Time Warner or Discovery, putting someone who disregards science and the scientific method on the television, it is not appropriate. Joyce Meyer does not belong on the Discovery Channel, just like "intelligent design" does not belong in the science classroom.

Feel free to visit Discovery's Viewer Relations page and kindly explain it to them.

UPDATE:
Here's my letter:

Why, in the name of all things science, would The Discovery Channel sell time to Joyce Meyer Ministries? Her money may be as green as everyone else's, but her science is not. The "Ministries" part of it should have given that away. If you are still unsure, please visit http://utteroutrage.blogspot.com/2007/06/christ-on-bun-joyce-meyer-discovery.html, as I have outlined the mess of anti-science inherent in the poor judgment I have observed. I am not anti-religion, but when a science channel pimps their time to an anti-science organization, it is a disgrace to all things reasonable.

Thanks for your time,

Ricky Shambles

[In reference to a check box labeled "Would you like us to use your e-mail address for Marketing Promotions" :]

p.s. "Would you like us to use your e-mail address for Marketing Promotions" is not a question without the "?" and does not indicate whether checking the box would imply a "yes" or "no" answer, should anyone actually perceive it as such.

Asshats.

Feedblitz: Ricky Shambles in Your Box!

You know you want it: No more waiting longingly for your RSS feed reader to catch up or pounding F5 like you're powering up in Archery in Track & Field II before you got the NES Max.



So after you get over that delicious old skool Nintendo reference, take a look to the left, under the "View my complete profile" link. If you put your email in that text field, click the button, fill out a captcha, and verify your subscription, you too could have Ricky Shambles in your box.

I first learned of this magic called FeedBlitz after subscribing to Phil Plait's Bad Astronomy. Now, every time he updates his blog, I get an email containing all updates from the day before. We could be like that, you and I. Shhh. Don't think. Do or do not; there is no 'try.'

Other Changes
I know you don't like changes. But these are for your own good. I promise.

I have changed Link-o-rama to Linktastica! That really shouldn't matter to anyone except those with a o-ramaphilia which is - please note - completely different from Obamaphilia. Amazing how one letter will take you from a rally party to a party rally. Okay, I'm done.

I must welcome xkcd (A webcomic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.) to my Linktastica! Why? Because it's fucking brilliant. And don't ask again.

Once more: If you like this blog, keep up by FeedBlitz. If you love this blog, you cannot marry it, but you most certainly better put your email in that box! And if you hate this blog, you better subscribe to monitor what nefarious, liberal, progressive, evil-ities I will conjure up next. That would leave Homeland Security: Have at it, ya buggers.

Thank God for British Comedy: Spoons

So sometimes - no, all the time - I feel like this:



The American version of me, but you get the point.

Here's a taste:

...or how you better not have another drink because you never used to get hangovers but just recently you've been feeling rather groggy, and I really can't afford not to be at my best tomorrow because I've gotta do a presentation for some people who are coming over from Holland and it's a Big Fucking Deal, so I better just have a Diet Coke...

Quit the shit, let's get to the meat of life/politics/religion.

No, sir, the Queen in Virginia is not a valid topic.