Let's Do a Drudge Wrap!

No, not a Drudge rap. That would just be silly. I'm just going to point out a couple things on the Drudge Report website today so you can go directly to the links and not feed into any of his fraudulent, bullshit rankings. Sub-headings are the links, all of which - as always - open in a new window or tab. And it's not all political BS either, more like a general news day wrap.

Fatty Trompe l'Oeil
It's the nanny state! Or so that's the general call to arms alluded to in even posting this story.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture is giving $2 million to food behavior scientists to use marketing tricks to encourage kids to pick fruits and veggies over cookies and french fries.

Oh noes! Gubmit spending too!?!

Hell, we've got a country full of mommies and daddies (literal or figurative pundits) doing nothing but bitching that the kids are fat. If the nanny's the only one willing to do something about it: bring in the motherfuckin' nanny!


Boo Hoo Mortgage Man
Some guy put a huge sign on his lawn because he's in foreclosure. And ... wait for it ... I kinda agree with the conservative comments on this one.

THE ACREAGE, Fla. - Juan Guzman has a large, lawn-wide sign in his front yard labeled 'JP Morgan Chase help.' It's his last hope to save his dream home.

The Acreage man built his house in 2007 but couldn't handle the mortgage payment of $3,600 a month.

He said he tried negotiating a lower loan from his bank but it wouldn't budge.

Last year Guzman became unemployed and now his house is in foreclosure.

Woah, woah, buddy. You built a home and right off the bat couldn't handle the mortgage? Then you lost your job? Yes, banks are teh debil adn need to be reined in, but you don't get a pass for shitty planning and plain stupidity. Your mortgage was $3600/mo!!! Sorry bud; ya done fucked up. Walk away and downsize.


Condi's Condo!

Um, there was this story about Condoleezza Rice but it was too boring even for commentary. Click above if you need a nap.


Paladino n Cuomo, Sittin in a Tree...

You live in one of the most diverse cities in the world. You want to be Governor of the state. You probably shouldn't berate gay people.

Here's the 411: if you live in New York and are GLBT or know someone who is or don't know someone who is but agree with equal rights or don't even totally agree with same sex marriage but don't want to be associated with dirty guido bigots, vote for Cuomo.

If you like berating people because of how they were born - you know, like openly making fun of short people or ugly people or black people or someone with a lisp or mentally challenged kids - and happily identify with knuckle-dragging bully assholes everywhere, punch it for Paladino.

Seriously, I'm expecting Paladino's next attack to be "Heh heh, his name's Cuomo. That's almost like cum and dat's wat fags eats. Ha! Blammo!"


Band PR FAIL

I'm sorry. I went way too rant-y on this one, had to give it its own post. Enjoy!


Strange Signal From Discovered Planet?

Following the Sept. 29 announcement of the discovery of Gliese 581g, astronomer Ragbir Bhathal, a scientist at the University of Western Sydney, claimed to have detected a suspicious pulse of light nearly two years ago, that came from the same area of the galaxy as the location of Gliese 581g, according to the U.K.'s Daily Mail online.

Holy shit. At this point I don't care. The planet's 20.5 LY away. Somebody's got a year to get space transport that'll take us 75% of the speed of light (I'm talkin' to YOU Virgin Galactic!) and get me on that rocket and BLAM! I'm oribiting a distant red dwarf with a Biggie Size Earth before I'm 70 and maybe see a distant alien life in person before I die. Awesome. And...go!

Parody - Bullies Who Target Gays: It Gets Worse

You might have seen the reposting of the "It Gets Better" I snagged from BoingBoing.

If not, watch it. Then watch this. It gets better. :)


IT GETS WORSE
Uploaded by FirstLastName. - More video blogs and vloggers.

Christine O'Donnell Parody Video

"I'm not a witch..."



Brilliant! via BoingBoing

Rant + Bitchin' Camero

I was just looking for Bitchin' Camero, but found a fab rant by Rodney ...FOLLOWED by Bitchin' Camero and VFW. Tits!

O'Donnell as a Witch

Why hasn't this been done yet?

Upon seeing the Photoshop, O'Donnell responded "The photo is obviously a fake. People only turn green when they masturbate, and everyone knows my stance on that. Um...that is a Photoshop, right?"

(feel free to copy, steal, etc.)

Terrorist Popcorn Retards Unite!

Note: I do not intend to insult retarded people, only terrorists. Thank you.

Today I was reading about the complete moron and failure of a terrorist Faisal Shahzad and how he got a life sentence in court today as a terrorist and overall bad guy.

For those of you unfamiliar with or harboring short attention spans, Faisal Shahzad (not to be confused with Fievel Mousekewitz) is the "terrorist" who filled a Range Rover with propane tanks and low-grade fertilizer and basically started the car on fire. Smoke alerted bystanders something was wrong. They snagged Fievel trying to leave the country.

~~F-Shaz~~ has a retarded knowledge of anything terrorist and a wonderful mastery over poking us Americans - verbally - in the ass. Is that what they're teaching those kids in terrorist camps these days? He is an epic FAIL in bomb-making and hurting people but was able to convince a judge - by words - that he's a terrorist, hates America, would've joined the jihad on 9/11-- this guy's a goddamned wannabe! A Poseur! He shows up to a NIN concert in '99 like Pretty Hate Machine was just released and he's the only one who's heard of it!

*groans with hands over temples*


Let's work with a hypothetical for a second, shall we?

I am a retarded terrorist. I've read all the crazy extremist stuff I could find on the internets and want to burn down America. So where do I start? Well, I rent a Range Rover (cause, seriously, who can afford that shit in this economy?) Wait, sorry. I have to rent a van because I already made the graphic and don't want to change it.

SO I rent a van and build a large cage in the back of the van lined with window screen I got from Home Depot. I hired a Hispanic to put it together. But then I had to kill him because he'd know my plan. NO! Wait, sorry, skip that Hispanic part - it complicates my plans. Say, now, I put my cage together and lined it with window screen.

...and filled it with popcorn kernels.

BUT! about halfway full (I don't know, like 400 of 800 lbs of kernels) I put a firecracker in there and I'd already twisted a really long wick on it so I could put the end of the wick out of the screen and light it after the other half of the kernels are loaded.

So now I've got a huge cage in the back of a van and I'm a crazy terrorist and I drive to The Empire State Building and park the van and light the wick and run like a crazy but stealthy madman and ...nothing happens. But I don't know that because I'm already on the way to JFK, yo!

(NOTE: Alternate version: I set a bag of Pop Secret on fire in the back of the van and run like hell!)

SO right now, I've illegally parked, been mad about the US, and ran to the airport. But when the police search my van, they find I've dropped my master plan:


Of course, the back has my name and contact information on it

SO they tag me at the airport, but they're not quite sure why yet, but it's BIG because ABCCBSNBCNAFTA are all over it and despite the fact that my logistics are completely off and any respectable terrorist could build a basic bomb - even if medicated - it doesn't matter all that much because I just scream something about "Allah!" when they apprehend me. Hey-yo! Terrorist superstar!

I mean, come on. I'm a terrorist, tried to blow some shit up, and still alive. How many of us are there? The shoe-bomber? Beause those liquid bullshit guys just had drawings and no plans. So I need to gin it up to be a legend so no one remembers I have no technical knowledge or abilities to do any real damage aside from maybe something I read on the internets and couldn't accomplish even if I were given real training.

So I say things like "I hate America" and "I wish I was with those 9-11 guys!" and I get nailed for a life sentence where someone's going to kill me in jail because I'm a terrorist and I get to be a martyr. Yayyy!

--END HYPOTHETICAL--

So this guy set a car on fire and because his intent was to harm people he gets a life sentence and a world stage to pronounce his hatred?

Seriously, why are we spending our time and money on lauding our successes over terrorism on guys like this? Why don't we do an alternate public humiliation sentence, well-advertised to promote some tool to show up and just shoot him?

I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy, but, well...

Wait, don't we have more important work, like finding the only 6'4" terrorist in the Middle East?

In Short: Hispanics Apathetic

While the Hispanic population of the USA is still overwhelmingly Democratic by party, seems a recent poll shows they're less than enthusiastic in the "go get 'em vote!" category. Congrats Hispanics: you've successfully joined the rest of the voting populace.

The problem here, Hispanics, is that if you sit on your haunches and let the Republicans win you may find a friend or relative very quickly heading back south of the border as the rest of the country starts to resemble Arizona.

In case you missed the memo in focusing solely on Hispanic discrimination, Republicans really only like and want to help rich white people (and only include women because they are a necessary life support system for vaginas). They want to send African-Americans back to Africa, yellow people back to the Far East, brown people back wherever they came from, white trash to New Jersey, and you can see how they want to make the sandy, olive-skinned Muslims the new American Indian Extinction Project - and that's based on a mandate from God!

So get off your haunches next month and just vote straight Democratic. Heck, once they get in office, you can write and email and call and Tweet and blog Democrats into paying attention. Republicans will just quietly sneer at you on the other side of that fence from their limo's window. Unless, of course, you land the gig as their driver.

Like Attracts Like: An Irish Allegory

When Mrs. Shambles and I were planning for Ireland for our honeymoon, we knew we were renting a car for 2 weeks, but weren't sure where to go, what path to take. Both being in theatre, we contacted a showman and storyteller who was born on the Emerald Isle and returned there frequently to give us some guidance.

As we were going over our plans and our map with him, I asked him about the demeanor of the Irish in general; what sorts of people would we meet? His eyes lit up. "Let me tell you a story," he said...

A young man from the town of Tipperary walks into a Dublin pub, sits down, orders a pint, and asks the bartender "Excuse me sir. I've just moved here to Dublin from Tipperary and was wonderin' what kinds of folks I might meet here."

"Well," the bartender responded, "what kinds of folks do you have there in Tipperary?"

"Greatest people in the world! They'd give you their last penny and the shirt off their back if it'd make your life easier for just a moment."

"Well son, I've got good news for you: you're going to find the exact same people here in Dublin."

Not long after, a young man from the town of Limerick walks into that same Dublin pub, sits down, orders a pint, and asks the bartender "Excuse me sir. I've just moved here to Dublin from Limerick and was wonderin' what kinds of folks I might meet here."

"Well," the bartender responded, "what kinds of folks do you have there in Limerick?"

"Oh, the most dreadful people in the world! They'd steal your last penny and the shirt off your back if given just a moment to do so."

"Well son, I'm sorry, I've got some bad news for you: you're going to find the exact same people here in Dublin."

Over 10 years and that story still sticks with me. Like attracts like. You have no one but yourself to blame for your friends. Your actions and thoughts are constantly telling the universe what you really want from life and people. Pick one or all; they're all true.

It Gets Better

Video postcards to isolated queer kids from happy queer adults via BoingBoing.

I'm Not Dead; I Was Just in LA

Been a while, huh? Oh, sure, I've always been erratic (I said erratic!), skipping 2 or 3 days here and there, posting 4 times in one day occasionally, but never for so long before.



Well, I was in Los Angeles visiting my brother, working some business leads on the West Coast. Yeah, I know being in LA and being dead and being in hell can all be synonymous, but I had a great time there. 9 days, and here's some thoughts, reflections, and events.

• There are douchebags and kind souls everywhere, just in different densities. Never forget that.


• Palm trees and mountain views near the ocean, however, are not everywhere. I could probably live there.


• I walked 2 feet from a bum slumped-over forwards at a crowded bus stop one morning. 30 minutes later I saw a fire truck and ambulance; the medics pulled him onto the stretcher. He did not move and his neck and shoulders were stuck "slumped" straight up, refusing to fall to the pillow, as they wheeled him into the ambulance.


• 30 minutes later another fire truck, police cars, etc. passed through the same intersection. Someone wasn't paying attention and plowed into an LAPD SUV. The ambulance in the caravan paused, medics quickly checked to see if everyone was okay, and then continued on with the first group.


• Last 2 seen at Sunset and La Brea because my brother's poor and got rid of his internet and I worked from Starbucks. Luckily they do not charge rent. Good news: I got my phone to tether to my laptop and use that connection for internet...to actually work on the last day I was there.


• Everyone in LA is not beautiful. However, there is a higher concentration of slim, attractive people in LA. In other words, as opposed to my Kroger's here, I can fill my spank bank to capacity in one trip to any Ralph's in Hollywood.


• With that also comes a much higher incidence of scary Skeletor and/or super-surgery ladies. I can't stand superlips, fake breasts, or forced emaciation. In other words, my libido can fall deathly ill in one trip to Ralph's.


• LA is the only place you'll find a bar coaster selling you on the DVD of the last season of Big Bang Theory


• While there is a large Latino immigrant population, there is also a large Korean, Chinese, Japanese, and other Asian faction in the city. Armenian, Indian, and Ethiopian as well. This means unlimited varied cuisine throughout.


• It also means normal (non-cable) digital stations can be found in English, Spanish, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, and Armenian. There is one Spanish station with Korean subtitles.


• And why can I get almost 10 Christian stations (3-4 English) with just a digital antenna?


• Driving in LA isn't so bad. Scariest part is keeping an eye out for pedestrians and bikes and light cameras. Drivers are slightly douche-y. Boston, now those drivers scared the shit out of me.


• We drove the Pacific Coast Highway about 45 miles north of Santa Monica and my brain is still trying to process the beauty in every mile.


• There is a sports bar called Big Wangs within walking distance of another named Happy Endings. I neither saw penises or received a handjob.


• I realized walking distance can mean a couple miles when it took me 40 minutes to drive 2 miles and find parking.


• I realized walking distance can mean a couple miles when you're feeding a meter and just about every man in the city is skinnier than you.


• Parking is ass. Take your time to learn the signs: there's street-sweepin' curb switchin', variations in how the meters are set to collect and differences when the meters are off (anything from free to tow your ass), and hourly restrictions sometimes in columns M-Th, F-S, Sun that'll make your head spin. Get out of the car and read.


• Double and triple check your flight info. I accidentally got dropped off at Terminal 1, realized I had to be at 6, ran to lower deck, caught "A" shuttle, and traveled over 15 minutes to 6, then upstairs to check in. LAX is fucking big.


• This past Monday I was there when Downtown LA hit 113° F, breaking every other temperature record evar. Yes, it was hot enough for me. (sidenote: I sweat at 78 or so; I like it cold. I don't care if it's a drier heat than in Cincinnati, it still fucking sucked the monumentally prolific sweat pouring from my back and balls)

That's enough for now, yes?

Obama Kills New York

Did you know that President Obama and the Federal Government want to destroy the city of New York by bleeding it dry (as soon as they stomp and laser-eye it with a re-creation of Mecha Godzilla)?

Allow me to back up a minute. Drudgery posts Obama-insinuating title: Feds force NYC to spend $27M to change font, lettering on street signs... Oh noes?! What's that crazy government doing now?

Well, the linked article talks about the fact that the Federal Highway Administration has found that it's harder to read all-caps signs. That extra time causes accidents.

Queue the right wing blog filter echo chamber: The Fed wants to control everything, everything's all political correct, Obama's the DEVIL!

But, as you might guess, it's kinda bullshit. See, there's one little bit of information that everyone's leaving out: "To compensate for those concerns, in 2003, the administration allowed for a 15-year phase-in period ending in 2018."

Wait a second, silly. 2003? I think someone else might've been president then. Hold on, let me look it up.

And cheers to those "Obama's changing the American Flag because I don't know what the Ohio Flag looks like" bloggers for making me smile today.

Fear of Heights?

Watch this - in full screen - then go vomit and mop the sweat off your face and hands and feet and neck...

Please Vote. Please.

Us on the left may be unhappy with 100% of what's been done. We may be disillusioned with a cavalcade of promises that have yet to be fulfilled. But if we are silent, we let them win. We let Republicans take Congress.

And that is much, much worse than what we have now.



So vote. Tell your friends, warn your families: if Republicans win in November, we all lose.

Aaaaaahhh! Nutjobs!

A sampling of nutters at Glenn Beckology SuperSaviour Amalgamachine.



Thought 1: Hahaha!
Thought 2: OMG these are real Americans, AM Dial myrmidons, and they vote.

*brain explodes*

Movie Review: I Don't Hate Las Vegas Anymore

Saw this mess on IFC last night and had to watch it. The website says it better than I remember the DVR synopsis:

I Don't Hate Las Vegas Anymore is a real-life documentary comedy about a filmmaker who takes a road trip to Las Vegas with his father and half-brother in an attempt to prove the existence of God. He posits that if God exists, and if God is indeed omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent, then all the filmmaker has to do is roll the camera and let God direct the movie. But the movie isn't going in the direction the filmmaker would like, and so the filmmaker attempts to force God's hand by trying to persuade his father and half-brother to take Ecstasy with him. When they refuse, things quickly start to unravel.

Sounds a little bit fun, huh? Crazy, even! No, not so much.

Spoilers abound, so if you're actually thinking of seeing this, stop reading.

Here's not just the plot but the experience of watching this film - with bullets!

• Filmmaker whines and pines and is unsteady on his project for 10 minutes
• Whining and complaining about driving from a bad back-seat angle for 15 minutes
• Filmmaker whines at his dad for 30 minutes to take the ecstacy
• Filmmaker takes the ecstacy alone
• Filmmaker gets high
• Filmmaker argues with Dad more to find he's taken the ecstacy
• 15 minutes of meaningful conversation over double-exposed, upside-down film
• Dad lays down then leaves to gamble
• Filmmaker whines more
• Filmmaker's sound chick apparently disappeared because she's an alcoholic
• Confessionals where everyone's a fucking mess for staying up all night and half-brother is a dick about how bad the movie's going to suck
• Unnecessary exposition at the end by Filmmaker rehashing the alcoholic sound chick and some family stuff
• Everything above tinged by "God loves us and wants to make this happen."

Terrible, terrible, terrible. Stay away. Do not want.

And yet if shit like this can get on IFC, my movie-making dreams may come true. At least on cable.

I Need You

(I originally heard this song as a cover and they used "paper doll" instead of "baby doll." Annie is queen, so I won't argue, but I like the lyrical change better.)

Eurythmics - I Need You

I need you to pin me down
Just for one frozen moment.
I need someone to pin me down
So I can live in torment.
I need you to really feel
The twist of my back breaking
I need someone to listen
To the ecstacy I'm faking.
I need you you you

I need you to catch each breath
That issues from my lips
I need someone to crack my skull
I need someone to kiss.
So hold me now
I'll make pretend
That I won't ever fall
Oh hold me down
I'm gonna be your baby doll

I need you you you...
Is it you I really need?
I do I do I do
I really do
I need you...

The Tea Party Debacle

I always found it funny that the Tea Party is so named because none of those people would ever drink tea; it's European and elitist. By chance, I'm sipping on a Twisted Tea right now. How apropos.

But on to my post.

The Republican Party is in a bad way right now. I just read Think Progress's article on the Mike Castle v. Christine O'Donnell primary. And it's bad mojo. Republicans supporting Castle are knocking down O'Donnell as "dishonest." But if she wins, what do they do? Well, flip-flop, of course, but I don't think the right gets it (or maybe they do) that they've created a monster of a schism in both the party and their supporters.

The "Tea Party" is not really a "party" so to speak. Or maybe they are. They've already established a congressional caucus. That's even worse news.

In a year where lots of people don't like our president in a realm of dissent from "He didn't do enough" (left) to "Socialist!" to "Death panels" to "Um, he's black and well, we call him a socialist cause we can't say nigger and get away with it", the Republicans are fostering what should be a clear win of several seats in November. But they botched it up. The right created the Tea Party.

And I don't even think folks at the head of the Tea Party understand their followers. Some are Republicans who see the Tea as an extension of themselves. Some are hard-right goons drinking the Beckbaughity tea who think everything is wrong with every part of our government. And I'm guessing many are just confused. What was supposed to be a revitalization and back to basics movement is fracturing the right in many sordid ways.

Republicans are calling this year "The year of the woman" but - like technology and humor - don't quite pick up on the nuances of language when it comes to civil rights or equality. I got an email the other day from the righties about "The Right Woman to Be in Congress." So ...are all the rest wrong? And if this is the year of the woman, then why are the most prominent women on the right - Angle, Bachmann, Palin - either ignorant or completely batshit crazy?

They are confusing the base and doing nothing to sort it out. That is, if they know who their base is. Sure, there are plenty of Americans who will vote Repub no matter what, but not all. But when you're pushing a Ministry of NO on an administration with no real answers except "Wrong!" then the few thinkers on the right start wondering what the actual platform is. And Republicans specifically announced they would not reveal that until September because it might be an issue in elections. Um, shouldn't it?

The Republicans have no game. Even worse, they're going through some fierce infighting, like a giant, bastard cousin of what happened when Palin hijacked the McCain campaign.

I, for one, am pleased.

And with no end in sight, I'm pushing a Palin-Bachmann ticket for 2012. We'll have Obama vying for term 2, and if Clinton seals the Mideast deal, her too. I'll still vote for Kooch if he runs again. But that's a solid Democratic front. And any American would take that over stupid insanity.

Then again, I guess I'm relying on the American people to choose wisely.

The Music Done Me In

I cry a little more than I used to. But one of the things that I've noticed over the past few years is that music makes all the difference; in every show you might watch, the plot may be stirring, the story may touch a base in your soul, and the connection you make to it may be monumental. But when you get to the end of the tale, the end of the network-sanctioned narrative, there's something that can touch you in the denouement. And that's music.

I noticed it first a few years ago in the final montage minutes of ER. "The story's not that great so why am I weepy?" Again in that episode of West Wing with Mark Harmon as the Secret Service agent. Again in any episode of Cold Case. "I don't care about these people really, so why am I battening down the hatches so I don't drop into throes of sobbing during the last 3 minutes of resolution?"

It was the music.

The music massages the little bits you've collected during the show or movie, puts them all together, works as the glue of emotion, the background of magic that makes that story progress or wrap up or really do something more than just tell a tale.

So: Thank you to every single editor and producer who has added some great bit of music to the movie or the show. You made it happen. And I wept. Thank you.

Boobs on Mars

Okay, so it's just the areola.

(seriously though, awesome new Mars images here)

Musical, Personality Watershed

So aside from that other watershed moment that I decided to bury prematurely in the archives, here's a little something from my past.

One day in 9th grade I was wandering through Camelot Music (FYE now), a few bucks burning a hole in my pocket with my friend Annette, 3 years my senior. I'd been listening to different kind of music, was just starting to get into my own groove, and I was presented with a choice. I only had enough money for one CD, and I was agonizing between two:





I hemmed and hawed and backed and forthed for almost 20 minutes before making my decision, heavily influenced by Annette's patience level: Nine Inch Nails it would be.

And it changed my life.

I'm not saying I wouldn't have eventually bought that album if I'd picked Violent Femmes, but I see that single choice as an enormous formative decision in my young life. Pretty Hate Machine led to musical offshoots making me aware of Ministry, Love and Rockets (& Bauhaus), Sisters of Mercy, Skinny Puppy, etc., and - honestly - allowed me to wallow in the angst of my soul just like every high school kid should.

I've gone much more indie and singer/songwriter, but still love that music and go through moods where nothing else will do but to scream my heart out. Heck, I think I'm going to the Legendary Pink Dots show in Columbus next month.

So thanks Annette. That one time, that one day, you nudged me in what I see now as the only right direction. And I'm who I am today because of it.

Say Hi to the Wonderful N00bs!

Looks like I keep picking them up.



Yum!

So everyone say hello to:
Kay at Kay's Thinking Cap
Badger at Vienna for Dummies
Ashley at Beyond Passing Time
The Domestic Minx
Nikkolas at Skeptical Eye
Zaki's Corner
Geof at Enter the Man-Cave
...and Josh, who doesn't have a blog, but likes to read others'.

Cheers to all!

Beckatopia: The Stupid on Saturday

I was tuned in to Glenn Beck's masturbatory mess on Saturday morning, once I was able to discern that it was only being fully covered by C-SPAN.

(NOTE: If you'd like to watch it in its 3-hour entirety for free, hit C-SPAN. Glenn is using his radio program to shuck his paid, premium service just to hear the damn thing. So much for being about the people.)

The first fifteen minutes began with Glenn talking about Manifest Destiny, Divine Providence, and carting out:

• A man, pastor, apparently direct descendant of the pilgrims who landed on Plymouth Rock
• A man and woman, apparently direct descendants of the Native Americans who greeted those pilgrims on our eastern shores.
• A Jew.

So the pastor was clad in modern garb, you know: like a suit. And the Native Americans were dressed like Disney's "Pocahontas." And the Rabbi? Suit and all, but why was he there?

So the Christian got the mic first and started wailing into it about the "One True God" of Jesus Christ.

I had to change the channel. Why this fable of the Thanksgiving story? How'd they get these Native Americans to do the Indian Uncle Tom costume getup for a rally where most of the assholes in the audience think Mexicans are foreigners? Why the Jewish guy? Why the screaming of the Christian to immediately ostracize any form of unification, including Glenn's Mormonism? Where was the representation of the Chinese, Vikings, and Philippine visitors to the USA who were here before Columbus and the pilgrims?

But you know I had to go back; I like punishment like that.

So I went back to hear Glenn pontificate and worship himself, Sarah Palin blabber incoherently, and listen to the token African Americans appear as Glenn himself hijacked MLK Jr.'s Dream Day while saying he wasn't hijacking it while playing film and quoting MLK Jr. and forgetting repeatedly to use the "Jr." to discuss him.

And you know he talks to God. You may have heard the jokes, but Glenn admittedly, specifically, speaks to God. I'm guessing it's the Mormon God passing himself off as the Christian God, but hey, that's just me. He talked about Moses and the Burning Bush, saying this event was everyone's burning bush moment, to get back to God.

And Glenn reinvented uselessness on Saturday by talking about the original Purple Heart medals, how they stood for merit, and then inventing his own medals for those pictures of the Founding Fathers that God had him paint: Faith, Hope, and Charity. And Hope went to a Dominican Republic baseball player Albert Pujols because immigrants are OK when they can play ball and even start charities.

Wait a second, what would happen if an Iranian moved here and started a charity? Holy shit!

Eventually, Mrs. Shambles cut me off about noon because it was getting too tiresome. Too horrid. Too terrifying.


FOLLOW-UP:

Reports from the rally range the attendees from 80,000 to 600,000. That was the serious report from CNN on Monday.

Glenn Beck, on Monday, in an apparent bid to knock down claims that he's a fear-mongering media whore, said that Saturday's true message was to "Get behind the 'Shield of God'" because it's time to say bye-bye to the world as we know it; the end is a-comin'. He again fake cried.

Right wing nutters all over in the last 2 days have used a very brief mention of Beck's rally with no conformable numbers to declare how "amazed" they are, that they've never seen organization of conservatives like this, etc., etc., etc.

The sad truth, conservatives, is that this was not you. It was the Tea Party. And you and them are not the same, except in perhaps a shared hatred towards minorities and immigrants. But that's another post.


SO - while you do a great spin on Mormon O'Beckerson's Scattershot Akimbo Vague Religion Rally, you have already lost. See you in November.

Facebook Marijuana - I Like Weed!

I'm conflicted.

I got an email in my inbox from Firedoglake saying the following:

Marijuana legalization has been censored by Facebook.
Facebook just banned our ads that support marijuana legalization. The social networking site says we can no longer advertise our campaign for marijuana legalization using our logo, which has a pot leaf.

We need to fight back against Facebook's censorship. Can you sign our petition protesting Facebook's unfair policy against legalization ads? We'll send the petition to Facebook and tell the media about the site's censorship of a popular political issue.

I'm as liberal as they get. I love Firedoglake. While I hardly ever smoke anymore, I love me some marijuana. And I am wholeheartedly, 100% behind any legalization efforts. Legalize it already!

But Firedoglake, I'm going to have to pass on this one. See, I've got Irish Dancer here at home. She's 14. And her and all her friends and kids much younger than her use Facebook every day.

She knows that marijuana is not addictive and not the devil because we're open as parents about the effects of drugs. She's also aware that marijuana use during teen years can negatively affect developing cognition. But that's a discussion for us to have with her as parents, and there are many more kids out there without that talk, without that openness, who are ignorant on the topic.

Our ads show marijuana leaves as part of a political campaign to change public policy. It's like telling a political candidate for office that it's unacceptable to show the candidate's face in advertising.

Hold the fucking bus, Gus. Irish Dancer could tell you that's a really shitty analogy. Here's a better one: Popping a marijuana leaf up on Facebook is like popping a leaf up in a loud, crowded theater before the premiere of Eclipse; it will go unnoticed by many, but subconsciously it'll be there. And that theater's full of kids.

And the point of the campaign is to change the fact that it's still illegal. I fully support legalization, but not with ads on Facebook. And when we're successful and we get it legalized, give me a call and we'll smoke a j and laugh about that time I was a dick 'cause I've got a kid. :)

Phase Dreaming?

I didn't do any research on this, but have you ever had a night of sleep like a surreal nightmare that bled into the real world and vice versa all night long? And no matter how awake you got in the middle of the night you couldn't break it? Yeah, weird.

(Note: I had one night when I woke at 5 or 6 and my nightlight was out and I saw angels - dozens of them, about 9 inches tall - floating around the room. Earliest memory. But I don't consider this the same thing.)

(Note 2: This is kinda long an rambling; don't feel bad to skip it, though it's fucking weird.)



The first time I remember experiencing this, I was probably 10 or so and my dad took me to see a Kent State basketball game. First basketball game I'd ever been to. And it was cool: the cheering, the screaming, the little pom-pom on a stick we got when we entered.

And then I got home and tried to get to bed and a little while later awoke - in the game. It wasn't anything as rational as if I were a player or in the audience, but all at the same time. My top bunk was simultaneously the court and the arena and the few square yards a player was making a jump shot. I was awake, but aware of the vivid, immersive dream I'd just awoken from - and could not let go of. I audibly heard the echoes of of the crowd and the squeaks on the court and all the chaos of noise and - if I remember correctly - caught visual glimpses. I closed my eyes, curled up, tried to make the insanity of it disappear. Then I'd fall into the same dream, then wake up. 3-5 times in one night, always the same. Once or twice I walked out of the room, to the hallway, the bathroom, thinking it would help. It didn't.

And the next day I was fine.

About a year later, I had another phase dream, but much more terrifying because it was so quiet. Imagine those "graboids" from Tremors, but about 12 feet fat and 80 feet long. Now imagine there are thousands of them, dead, rows, stacked 2-3 high on the right and left like hot dogs on a plate, ends pointed at you. Okay, I'll draw a shitty picture.



I tend to stay down the middle, but sometimes, climb the dead husks, which are huge, smelly, dripping, decaying, and covered by ash like everything else. The rows go on forever. This was about 2 years before the movie Tremors came out.

And I'd wake up and still see it and try just to go back to sleep, but it was the same dream, except this one was paired with something so abstract I cannot draw it accurately (even poorly). I can only describe it as a blue, wooden-plank swing going back and forth, back and forth, with some association with the number 1, a penny, and water. Those two were always together, one or the other, and they ran multiple evenings in my childhood around there. I'd wake up and sit in the hallway for hours, not wanting to wake my parents - because what do you say? "Some abstract concept I can't even describe in words is following me from my dreams." - but never being able to shake the phasing of it during the evening hours.

Eventually, I'd fall asleep long enough and the morning would come and it would be gone.

And I haven't had that - maybe vaguely remember once - since that time, about 20 years ago.


So I'm reminded about all this because of last night. I had a series of dreams which, in no particular order, happened like this:

I'm in a high end comic shop and am pushed through a Victorian book to a medium-sized dark mansion full of puzzles controlled by a young girl, probably 11, angry and demonic. I'm made to study the book and run errands to find these things while her younger sister - probably 4 - bounces around excited she has a playmate. Only her younger sister is actually a cracked-faced porcelain doll and I think "I've got to get out of here." I recall escaping and hugging the proprietor of the shop.

I'm at a camping retreat where I'm hanging out with (either or) my brother / best HS friend, and we're with a family that's kind of familiar and I keep panicking because I need to leave and need to go and the family keeps making things more comfortable and making time disappear and I see what they're doing in keeping me there, offering us drinks, relaxation, and it shouldn't be malicious, but it's looking that way which merges into...

I'm hanging out with my brother in a garage / junkyard and this guy is hanging out with us - skinny, weasely guy and he wants us there, keeps threatening us with a knife or something and at one point he goes to check something out and I grab my brother's arm and say "Run!"

I'm a car and sometimes a person driving/walking an odd concrete path under a dilapidated bridge several stories above us, water everywhere, very wind-y with juttings of natural rock coming up to mess up the path. Two men - mid 50's - ahead of me look back and say "it's something, huh?" and I gun it, almost running into a rock. "Woah," one of them says. "Take your time. You want to go that way." And I turn and move to the dock to be with my extended family and my cousin is on a boat passing us and I think "Good for him" while the rest of the family is sad he's not coming with us.

It's Christmas and there should be presents - are there presents? - but it's old carpet and damp and stale everywhere and where is everyone?

And in between an sometimes interrupting those phases, I would awake, and I was still there, still hearing the people, still hearing the noises, and wanting to shake it, but not really aware that I could. I honestly could've gotten up and walked to the bathroom and turned on the light and splashed my face. But part of me didn't know I could and part of me was afraid of leaving the bed.

And then it was morning and the alarm went off and the bits of sleep wore off and I got up and made coffee for the day.

But even then I had this lingering fog. Obviously, it allowed me to remember bits of several dreams. And I think it went away. For now, I guess.

So, um, anyone read this far and ever experience or hear of something like this?

Tea-Baggin' Football Coach Gets Sacked

Bryan Glover got fired. See, he was a 26-year old middle school football coach with mediocre aspirations as a singer/songwriter. So when he wrote a song about how Obama was awful and Republicans will take back the country in November and fix it all (so short their memories), he did what every sane person would do: send it to every person on your "personal email list." This included parents of kids he coached. D'oh!

Now, as with most shoddy right wing "journalism," none of the relevant questions were being addressed: Was he using his school account? Were the contacts in his personal list procured as a professional? Does anybody with any sense or knowledge of etiquette really do that (sorry Mom)? Why does he not understand that when you're a teacher/coach, you're a teacher/coach all the time?

Long story short: they canned him because a handful of parents went batshit. I don't know that they should have, but that's what happened.

When it comes to the GOP USA article above, their claim is that the liberal parents' claim was one of racism. I don't believe that. There's nothing in the song lyrics that points to race per se. However, the last lines of the song:

When we’re holding the hammer
Every one of them looks like a nail

I can understand mid-level understanding of simile and metaphor, but when you spend a whole song talking about how the hammer represents misguided and clumsy policies, getting ahold of the hammer does not empower you, but makes you subject to the same errors as your predecessors. Okay, so in that respect the song is accurate.

But this last line plainly incites the same Beck-esque language of violence reflected in oft-used words like "reload" and "open season on Dems." As represented by a handful of whacked-out "isolated incidents," this violence is not figurative but literal. And that prevalence is becoming ever-increasingly dangerous.

Sidenote: the comments on the story? Typical: He should sue the hell out of the school, join the Tea Party, open the Hannity Freedom Concert with his one song and then run for office (and presumably fail miserably).

Hannity-Limbaugh Muslim Gangbang

No, it's actually uglier than it sounds. Aside from Rush's lying comment about Bush living in "a shack" in Crawford, TX, every second I heard of his show today was discussing the poll saying almost 20% of Americans think Obama is a Muslim.

And the discussion proceeded as you might think: "Here's the poll." "Why do people think this?" "Let's take some callers who will say they knew it all along." "Allow me to interject some comments with Muslim undertones targeted at Obama."

[You freak, you fraud, you moral disaster of a human being: It is because of YOU and the other asshats on right wing talk radio and FOX that people ignorant enough to eat your daily digest like eager baby seagulls aching to shit all over the truth believe this madness. Our president is a practicing Christian yet almost 20% (much higher for Repubtards) of Americans are ignorant - NO, not ignorant, but suckered, believing the implication and lie of the simple fact of his (and his family's) religion is NOT Muslim. And they'll happily do it because everyone they listen to with their wide eyes and loaded guns believes it because YOU spout it and because he's the "other" and they don't want to hate him because he's black (even though they really kinda do) and YOU drive that fucking bus! You! And you're on the air talking about it like you're not part of it, not the goddamned REASON for the numbers?

There's a special place in hell for you.]

Now, repeat everything in brackets but as addressing Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Michael Savage, etc. each, individually.

End transmission.


UPDATE: I'm not sure how this Examiner hack Byron York gets the label "Chief Political Correspondent," but he says it's all Obama's fault. After all, he's often "heading out to play golf or basketball on Sunday mornings."

So if you're not in church every single Sunday morning it's not that you're just skipping out on church, it's not that you're not as devout a Christian as people think you should be, it's not that you're secretly Jewish or a Hindu or Buddhist. No, it obviously means all the lies and misinformation about you secretly being a Muslim are true.

Byron, you're part of the problem, either purposefully or because of a lack of basic intelligence.

In Short: What, Rush Lie?

I just got to listen to some TIA-inducing Limbaugh in the car today and was still stunned that I can still be stunned by Rush giving fraud a living voice.

Asshat was commenting on How many vacations Obama was taking and then feigned outrage at the obvious liberal retort: Bush did it too. But, Rush retorts, Bush's vacations were always working vacations, and he retreated to "a shack" in Crawford.

Two clarifications:

1. Dubya, during his presidency, spent 487 days at Camp David and all or part of 490 days at his Crawford Ranch. 977 vacation days divided by 4 years (+ 2 leap days) will show you George W. Bush was "on vacation" 33.4% of his entire presidency. Now where can I get a job that offers 4 months a year of paid vacation?

2. Crawford Ranch is a 1,500+ acre river-bordering property that was reportedly acquired for $1.2 million - and then Bush built a custom-designed, 4,000 square foot house. Anyone who would call that a shack has a severely retarded understanding of wealth and what the common American considers normal. Oh yeah, it's Rush we're talking about.

Mosque in Short: Constitution!

The Framers or Founding Fathers found it completely appropriate to guarantee all Americans the right to freedom of religion. There was no asterisk.

Hell, freedom of religion predates even the Constitution. Amendment 1, however, reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

And that Amendment, like many others, is there for a very specific reason: to guarantee the rights of the minority in light of a majority who disagrees with that right. Hell, the Village of Skokie, IL (60% Jewish) got punked on their sensibilities because it was dwarfed by the Nazis to march in their town - so said the Supreme Court.

The survivors and those who lost loved ones are split. New York is split. But it is simply an issue of Constitutional law. And when it comes to Constitutional law, the Right is all about interpreting things in a new and creative way with supporting documents that are not the Constitution. But when it comes to the direct wording of the Constitution itself, they're at a loss.

This is a straw man, a "patriotic" pissing contest in the lead to an election. Mosques already exist 4 and 12 blocks from "sacred ground" - strip clubs and bookies and sex shops abound in that area as well.

And as Justin Mustian put it, "In fairness, we've been building 'ground zeros' near Iraqi mosques since March 2003."

I think this is a band of rabid conservatives, grasping onto whatever they can because they have no platform or ideas of their own. Their mantra since Obama was elected has been "Obama, you been bad!" (Goonies reference) And they've had nothing else to work with because they've spent every last breath on killing progress as opposed to creating it, killing legislation (that would be good for them and their constituents!) as opposed to proposing other ideas, and just drinking more and more Kool-Aid from the Right end of the AM band with the sole purpose of pissing on a black man from atop their mansions.

I'll deal with the "other"-ing of Obama in a different post. But be aware: The right has successfully positioned our president as a Muslim terrorist, and millions of Americans religiously feed on that tripe. And they have guns.

God bless America.

Juggalo Season Again!?

You may recall this post and video from last year around this time. Yes, that's correct: it's Juggalo Season. Again.

For those of you way out of the loop and not willing to click, Juggalos are a social scene wrapped around the music of hip-hop group Insane Clown Posse. They drink Faygo and some paint their faces like clowns. Scary clowns.

Well, at the just-past Gathering of the Juggalos this year, Tila Tequila (who apparently sings?!) decided to lay her rhythms on the Juggalos. They did not like it and pelted her with bottles and rocks, then chasing her to her trailer, which they rocked and broke out windows.



Oh, and for the record, they fucked up Method Man too :(

Ah, Juggalos.


UPDATE: From AV Club - "Excessive makeup, grating voices, oversharing of all things gross: The Kardashians are the new Juggalos."

Ah, Kardashians.

Misguided Celebration: Dee Snider

A town in NE Ohio will be renaming itself for one day to celebrate Dee Snider.



Will they be celebrating by showing Strangeland 24-hours straight at the local cinema?

Because I'm so Chipper These Days

via PostSecret.

Christian Tool

And I don't mean Tool like the band.




I prefer the Marilyn Manson Mashup:

In Short: Pam Geller is a Fucking Moron

From Crooks & Liars:

Geller: This is patently untrue. I love Muslims. The Ground Zero mosque is an offensive insult, it's a stab in the eye. I have no problem with mosques across the city. But we're talking about history, and Islamic history, of building triumphal mosques on the cherished sites of conquered lands.

Oh, the fucking mosque again?

Hey, wait, that reminds me of this one thing...you know what I'm talking about? The Christians overtaking every pagan altar in Europe to co-mingle beliefs and eventually convert or silently conquer them? Oh, yeah, and that other time...what was it? Oh, yeah, when Christians came here to find the USA totally uninhabited (except for them injuns) and drove those dark-skinned people out to manifest destiny and get some awesome land - on which they erected churches as a staple of any civilized settlement.

Oh, and it reminds me of that awesome new shirt from T-Shirt Hell that says "Learn to Speak Native American or Get the Fuck Out"

Pam, you are not just ignorant, you are stupid. And as a wise childrens' show host said one time when I was drunk in Toledo at 6am: "Ignorance is just not knowing. That's easy to fix. But stupid? There's no fixin' stupid."

So please stop talking and allow the collective of human intelligence heal for a while.

Bigot Me This...

We knew the gay-hatin' would come out (hehe) with a vengeance today and I was not disappointed. My usual 1 email from right wingy nutters was up to 5 by 3:30, all with one aim: "We want to keep marriage as a bigoted, limited, fairy-tale definition so give us money!"

National Organization for Marriage sent this drivel entitled "Keep Marriage Marriage":

An openly gay judge in San Francisco ruled that the votes and values of over 7 million Californians were to be thrown in the dustbin like so many pieces of dirty paper, that his imperial will trumps the voice of the people.

We expected this outcome, because Judge Walker has telegraphed his bias loud and clear. But the sheer audacity, the sheer ego mania of the decision is startling. One judge versus all of the voters of California, plus the 30 other states that have voted directly to protect marriage. One judge against the simple common sense notion that it takes a man and a woman to make a marriage. And he thinks that this will be the end of it...

But he's wrong. Very wrong. We will fight back, and we will win! This case is no doubt going to the Supreme Court and the National Organization for Marriage will continue to give generously to the Proposition 8 Legal Defense Fund. We've already given $100,000. We were the largest single donor to Proposition 8 and the successful efforts in Maine, New York and New Jersey to protect marriage. But now we're in the fight of our lives.

And here's the $10,000 question: If the judge was straight and ruled to uphold Prop 8, would you have raged that of course, he was straight, and should have recused himself? Of course not. You damn fraud.

Who's the damn fraud? Why that nice email even gave me a handy target. I even included his pic because he kinda looks like a douchebag.



Brian S. Brown
President
National Organization for Marriage
2029 K Street, NW, Suite 300
Washington, DC 20006
bbrown@nationformarriage.org



So, Brian, riddle me this: If the case is certainly going to the SCOTUS, then what's all the hubbub about? Your dirty bigot money doesn't have much of any influence in those chambers and, ideally, it's really just an issue of constitutionality at that point (I know, I know, split down party lines and for this one with the same hate you have in your heart).

I realize it's a silly question, but for the kids in the back, let's answer it out loud. You and your organization are using this event and hate and fear-mongering to scare the bejesus out of all those other Americans who can't stand to see them dirty fags gettin' murried. That way they'll dump money into your coffers, your bank account.

And if the Supreme Court makes the rational, moral, and right decision on this one? Why I'm sure you'll stuff my box again claiming you know just how to take this fight to the real top. Because it's not the Constitution you're all that worried about, is it? It's how you and your loyal followers can keep those icky gays from ruining your fairy tale.

Spoiler alert, Brian: The ending's kinda gay.

Bunch of Crap: Drudgery, Sun Blows Wad w/ Napolitano

How the Sun shot web

So Drudge decided to post some college kid's poor camera film of raw satellite that's like 7 minutes long and entitled Katie Couric RAW: Leaked footage of Couric Making Fun of Sarah Palin (FULL). OMG it's gotta be so crazy nasty and KC's going to lose her job over it OMG! Um, no. There's one reference that Katie makes while reading Sarah's kids names: "Where the hell do they come up with...?" And that's all. Yeah, that's it. But the comment-trolls fresh from Drudge act like it's apocalypse: She's an Obama tool, she can barely read, she thinks she's such hot shit. There's a special place in hell for Repub myrmidon trolls.

Speaking of apocalypse - as in the retarded "end of the world" version and not the "revealing" that it really means - the sun kinda exploded the other day. Seriously. Okay, not totally exploded. That'd be like saying I explode every time I have a coronal mass ejection. But that only happens sometimes.

"On 1 August, almost the entire side of the Sun that faces the Earth erupted in a blaze of activity known as a 'coronal mass ejection'." Holy shit! The "entire side of the Sun?" And that's the limit of the confirmation because we couldn't see the other side? Aurora as far south as Michigan? And that was just a low-powered glancing blow? Fuck, I think we've got a nasty peak activity cycle coming.

Which will tie in nicely with "End of Days" for the gay bigots pissing their bleached-pure tighty-whiteys over the judge that struck down CA's Proposition 8 as unconstitutional. Awww...snap! Even Kim Kardashian, who's not a real celebrity, got in on the Tweeted praise! Apparently the social troglodytes think a land where first cousin marriage allowances is rampant is better than them dirty gays gettin' hitched.

Oh, and Janet Napolitano has lied to you and saved and turned your nekkid airport scans into her personal shower-quality masturbation material. Sorries! I wonder if she's one of those women who, you know, ejects coronal mass when she explodes. Now that I might incorrectly call Apoca-lips.

Weed & Lesbians - Auto-Tune it!

Just watch. Hilarity.

Jesus, Anne Rice, & Lindsay Lohan - Rant

If you missed it or are blind to any reference to vampires aside from "Woohoo! Team Edward! Woohoo!" then you may have sauntered by a recent story about Anne Rice, author of Interview With a Vampire (and a couple dozen other novels) and arguable (grand?)mother of the current vampire craze.

She has 'quit' Christianity, as announced on her FB page. Yes, really. And, hell, I don't blame her. I renounced Catholicism at about 17 as an absurdly foolish path to any ultimate reality. A pastor has called her out to say that the people are the Church. I respond:

Dear Pastor,
I'm pretty sure Anne Rice understands the philosophies and underpinnings of the Church in general, and that's why she made that statement. Yes, the Church is the People, but every single division of Christianity has taken stories in a book and constructed this scaffolding around it in the shape it desires. And they have all declared: "There is no truth except through us."

And if you want to work through all that scaffolding you'll find people - mostly men - of the cloth that must aid you in that journey. By helping you climb the scaffold they built.

In Catholicism, the links are so disparate that you're 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon to get to the Pope who has the Red Phone. For the rest of them, it's ideas and thoughts as under-the-sink gradeschool crystal growth projects to build rules and implied judgments from the minds of men.

If you believe in God and want to make that connection a 1-on-1 call, there's NO Christian way to do it without being a part of that scaffold in some way. And within that scaffold, in many different factions of Christianity, lies a great deal of exclusion and hate that would never have crossed the mind of Jesus.

So shut up and let her write more great fiction.

Ricky

And I also saw that Prison Minister Marty Angelo said that Lindsay Lohan would've been way better off if she'd accepted Jesus as her personal savior and gone through religious-based treatment for her addictions.

On the light side, this is like saying gays can be cured through Jesus-ization. On the dark side, it's like a kid I had teaching tenth grade in NC, and on an essay question about Elie Wiesel's Night and how Faith played a role, he wrote me a one-sentence response: "If the Jews had just accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, then none of this would've happened." For those of you who missed that book, Night is a first-person recollection of surviving the death camps in WWII.

Christian healing only works for Christians. I don't think Lindsay has - or will - hit rock bottom. And if she does, she might do the addict dance I've seen so many times: Booze and coke to cigarettes, coffee, and Christ. And maybe then that treatment might work. But for now, Lindsay is a whackjob, out of her mind on excess and immortality and well on the way to the same grave that acted as the thoroughfare for so many other celebrities, except without the talent to pass into anything other than obscurity.

God save her soul.

* Tolerance Does NOT Include Islam

The Anti-Defamation League's Statement On Islamic Community Center Near Ground Zero

New York, NY, July 28, 2010 ... The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) today issued the following statement regarding the proposed Islamic Center near Ground Zero in Manhattan:

We regard freedom of religion as a cornerstone of the American democracy, and that freedom must include the right of all Americans – Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and other faiths – to build community centers and houses of worship.

We categorically reject appeals to bigotry on the basis of religion, and condemn those whose opposition to this proposed Islamic Center is a manifestation of such bigotry.

However, there are understandably strong passions and keen sensitivities surrounding the World Trade Center site. We are ever mindful of the tragedy which befell our nation there, the pain we all still feel – and especially the anguish of the families and friends of those who were killed on September 11, 2001.

The controversy which has emerged regarding the building of an Islamic Center at this location is counterproductive to the healing process. Therefore, under these unique circumstances, we believe the City of New York would be better served if an alternative location could be found.

In recommending that a different location be found for the Islamic Center, we are mindful that some legitimate questions have been raised about who is providing the funding to build it, and what connections, if any, its leaders might have with groups whose ideologies stand in contradiction to our shared values. These questions deserve a response, and we hope those backing the project will be transparent and forthcoming. But regardless of how they respond, the issue at stake is a broader one.

Proponents of the Islamic Center may have every right to build at this site, and may even have chosen the site to send a positive message about Islam. The bigotry some have expressed in attacking them is unfair, and wrong. But ultimately this is not a question of rights, but a question of what is right. In our judgment, building an Islamic Center in the shadow of the World Trade Center will cause some victims more pain – unnecessarily – and that is not right.

The Anti-Defamation League, founded in 1913, is the world's leading organization fighting anti-Semitism through programs and services that counteract hatred, prejudice and bigotry.

Maybe we should all make a point of stopping by the ADL contact page and letting them know you disagree - if, of course, you do. I did.

Your position on the Islamic community center and mosque proposed for New York City has made you a self-parody and seats you in the front of crowd of intolerance and hate that has been spewed by right wing media and well-known racists across the US. You should be ashamed. You have stripped yourselves of any credibility. "...to secure justice and fair treatment to all?" You should probably insert an asterisk to make clear that that position comes with a heaping helping of "However, ..."

Friday Videos: 7 Degrees of Alabama

Comedy Gold follows. Be prepared. And in the spirit of full disclosure, it's only really 6 from Alabama and a turtle fucking a shoe.

This is a news story from Alabama about 4 years ago. Some folks saw a leprechaun:




Another story from Alabama, apparently attempted rape - with a message:




And just in case someone starts waaambling about how attempted rape cannot be funny:



And yes, I knew (guessed) turtles made that noise when I was 14. I feel radically vindicated 19 years later.

UPDATE!

Holy shit, Alabama - what is wrong with you? This is a recorded conversation when a Huntsville reporter is interrupted by a bystander. WTF?




...and we can't forget the Flea Market video...




Oh, my Christ, make me stop Alabama!




Okay, Cullman Liquidation Ctr, but you're the last one!



Have a great weekend!

Muslims & Tea Party?

From TPM:

Diane Serafin, the leading of the protest against the building of a new mosque in Temecula, CA.:

"They hate Jews, they hate Chrisitans, they hate women, they hate dogs. [The idea of the new mosque] scares the daylights out of me. I want you to stress this -- I'm not prejudiced. I worked retail for nine years and I didn't even know my manager was gay until someone told me. And when I found out, I didn't care."

--Josh Marshall

*runs screaming from the room*

Trinidadian Slap Chop

Just like the title says, silly!



Okay, now you can say WTF?

Obama the Muslim

Maybe I should just make this Human Events week. The stuff they're coming up with is going in the "Classic Batshit & Lies" file forever! Here's a taste of this morning's poo stew:

Let’s see. President Obama says there is nothing more beautiful than the Muslim call to prayer in the evening. He says that the United States was not founded as a Christian nation.

Obama’s father and step-father were Muslims and he spent his childhood living in a Muslim country where his school enrollment records say his religion is Islam. As President of the United States he genuflects to the Muslim King of Saudi Arabia but not the Christian Queen of England. He thumbs his nose at America’s friends and bows to its enemies. In short, Obama quacks like a Muslim, waddles like a Muslim and acts like a Muslim, so is he a Muslim? My mother would say, “Yes! He’s a Muslim through and through.”

Growing up as a Muslim, Obama must have learned that according to the Qur’an it is acceptable to lie, deceive and live by a double standard provided in so doing one advances Islamic goals.

And I believe that's where my head about asploded. I can't even start let alone rant on this one. Very simple: If you already hate all Muslims because of right wing rhetoric, we're simply shoving Obama so deeply into that "other" that you, too, can be confident you hate him because he hates America like a terrorist and not because he's black!

I just don't know how they can get away with what is effectively libel.

Tickle Me Melmo

You know, if Elmo was a misogynist racist. Right?

Democrats Target Bachmann?

It's true! Email in today's right-wing nutter slop pile, Daily Events:

Dear Fellow Conservative,

Nancy Pelosi and her liberal allies in Washington have just moved my race up to one of their top targets.

My opponent was named to the Democrats so-called "Red to Blue" list. These candidates will serve as the rubber stamp to the radical Pelosi agenda of higher taxes, out-of-control spending, and massive government overreach.

Click here to stop the liberal attack machines!

Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats are targeting me to keep their razor thin majority in the House to pass their extreme liberal agenda. We need to stop the Obama/Pelosi agenda and fight for our constitutional conservative majority. We cannot back down from this fight.

Will you help defend me and the conservative values we share?

Time is of the essence, I've got an important campaign deadline on August 10th, and it is critical for us to send a clear message and end on a strong note.

Please, click here now to make a contribution of $25, $50, $100, $500, $1,000 or more.

I appreciate your help, encouragement and prayers. I will continue to fight for a constitutional conservative majority and lead the effort to repeal government takeover and restore our great nation.

Sincerely,


Michele Bachmann

P.S. Nancy Pelosi would love nothing more than to defeat me this year and is willing to spend whatever it takes to win! And now with Washington's help, millions of dollars will be poured into my opponent coffers from all across the county. Will you help me against the liberal attack machine?

Heyyyyy...wait a second. Are you saying that because of [insert horribly generic Dems-R-Badd rhetoric here], conservatives need not only to vote for you but also give you money? And Human Events is helping you do this?

Shit woman, we (that'd be MOST Americans) are way the hell beyond platitudes, way the hell beyond the politics of "Ooh, Pewosi doesn't wike me!" baby talk with the rubbing of the eyes and the whining. You write this letter (or perhaps allow someone competent to write it) with the intent that anyone gives a shit? I mean, sure, there are plenty of brainwashed righties who'll drop a sawbuck on anything that comes across their inbox denouncing the Left.

But what would happen if you had to actually convince someone of something? What about what you've done or endorsed?

Ooh, that's why you're not touting your actual actions or beliefs. Dag.

You said Obama was the worst President in American History? You refused to fill out your 2010 census? You said that if the GOP wins the house in November that you should "do nothing but issue subpoenas"??? She runs a Christian counseling group with her husband that has taken $30,000 of state taxpayer dollars? She says Obama wants re-education camps for children? She blames Clinton, blacks, and other minorities for the current financial crisis? She's going to form a Tea Party caucus in the House? She introduced a one-page bill to repeal health care?

Sorry, I'll stop now. The fact is that the Repub echo chamber and its own over-echo, FOX News, are more than willing to push Bachmann as yet another seat as yet another non-Democrat. But they can't do it by actually talking about anything she's said or done. Why? She's batshit crazy! And while they continue to push her and allow her to earn a dime or two through Wingnut sites like Daily Events and support her in any way, she is dismantling the Republican Party. Slowly but surely. Note that thing I said above about the "Tea Party caucus?" Holy shit! Now you've got a bunch of ignorant goons running an actual caucus? Actually legitimized? And they're taking power from the other part of the Right?

Bwahahah! I can thing of nothing better than a Bachmann-Palin ticked in 2012. Just give the right enough juice to believe it and it will succeed...until it falls into flames in November.

Van Mural Wednesday - Giraffe!?

You'd think that a post with this title might have one...maybe two images. You'd be wrong! We've got 4 - count 'em 4 - images to share with you today!


Okay, not really a van, but a giraffe all the same - on a vehicle!


Giraffe in the snow? Not...computing....


Awwwshit. That's all giraffe.


And that's the Oscar Mayer Weiner of Giraffemobiles. Rock on! Probably got some giraffes in there, yo! Sippin' on some Hennessey ('cause giraffes like cognac - duh - check out your Wildlife Treasury, bitch!)


And that's how we roll...

Sen. George Voinovich (R-OH) is a Blind Moron

I saw a note on a blog the other day noting that George Voinovich's Contact Page had no mention of Unemployment or Jobs. I checked it out and - okay, you already believe it - in the "Topic" you'd want to choose as the subject of your communication, there is absolutely no choice for...oh, hell, let's just list all of Sen. Douchebag's choices here for us to all ponder over, shall we?

.....HOT TOPICS.....
Associated Health Plans
Broadcast Decency Act
Gas Prices
Internet Neutrality
National Security
Same Sex Marriage
School Voucher Program
Social Security
Terrorism
War In Iraq
.....CONSTITUENT SERVICES.....
Casework
Flag Request
Service Academy Nominations
Tour Request
.....GENERAL TOPICS.....
Abortion
Agriculture
Banking-General
Budget
Children's Issues
Communications
Defense-General
Economy-General
Education
Energy
Environment
Foreign Affairs
Government Affairs
Health Care-General
Housing
Immigration
Intelligence Issues
Judiciary
Labor
Nuclear Weapons
Seniors' Issues
Small Business
Tax-General
Trade-General
Transportation
Veterans Affairs
Other

We start with HOT TOPICS. Read: Scary, right-wing talking points. I'm surprised "Them Niggers is Votin'!" isn't listed. Case in point? "Internet Neutrality" The only people talking about it are right wing radio nutters who are bald-face lying about its basic definition (and probably calling it that when anyone in the know calls it "Net Neutrality" - alliteration anyone?). Everyone else knows Neutrality is what we have now. And I'm guessing his topic is not listed to quell the mis-directed "Obama Ownz Da Internets" shoutings of his idiot-driven constituency.

We can skip the services. Meh.

But now that we've seen that the HOT TOPICS (that don't include Voinovich getting all Goth/Emo on us) did NOT include anything about job security or unemployment, then it MUST be in the General Topics, no?

Um, no. Oh, you could choose "Banking-General" 'cause you don't have no money in it, or Budget because when paycheck-to-paycheck turns to unemployment-check-to-unemployment-check turns to "maybe I should rob that aforementioned bank," that might work. But then you might choose Banking-General again.

You could pick Economy-General because Ohio's has been tanking since the 80's with a weak 90's jump and the whole state's missing the latest jump shot in Lebron's rape of Cleveland. You could pick Defense-General because you might choose a rifle over gas in the car as your jobless neighbors become squatters then homeless and the homeless move in to become squatters next door; though that might be Housing. You could pick Children's Issues because the kids are starving because there are no jobs and no money.

What you cannot pick, when trying to contact Senator George Voinovich, is a category labeled "Jobs" or "Unemployment." But maybe because there are no jobs and unemployment's run out for many, he finds it irrelevant. Maybe Georgie figures poor people don't have access to computers or the internet and therefore can't email him. Or maybe he thinks since Obama controls the internets, it's not worth his time.

Republicans don't get humor or technology or compassion and that's fine. I understand that. I don't get why they keep getting elected, but that's a whole nother post.

The Republican Senator of the State of Ohio - a state that is over the 10% mark in unemployment - is missing "Unemployment" or "Jobs" or "Job Creation" or "Joblessness" as a BASIC category of communication online. How fucking out of touch with your constituency must you be to have "Internet Neutrality" in the HOT TOPIC section and not even mention that 10% of working adults...are NOT working? Are the expensive suits and great hotels and extreme taxpayer-paid vacations and fabulous homes all giving you a rich-man brain-wash enema? Because you and the rest of the Republicans are completely ignoring the jobless in our country, you've done NOTHING to create jobs in Ohio (and shitting every Democrat idea is technically LESS than nothing), and yet you yodel about breaking taxes for the fucking RICH! (I'm guessing you're on the "that pays for itself" shovels o' bullshit wagon.)

The Republicans are not going to "win" anything in the fall, Senator V. And that's a shame, because they've already lost their souls in arguing for the last two years against everything compassionate and progressive (as in "helping the human condition progress") while offering no real solutions except to say the other guy is wrong. You're going to lose because you keep shouting "budget" and "deficit" but we all know you raped those things under W. And now you're backtracking, while vomiting platitudes of feces out your mouths. But you don't - and never will - get it. People don't care about bigger economic bullshit theories when they can't make ends meet, when they can't put dinner on the table. They just want a damn job.

And you haven't done a damn thing to help those people.

As a matter of fact, you haven't even offered them a way to communicate with you.

Kitten in a Hat

Just a wash to help that last post descend a bit. Enjoy!

Whitest Kids U'Know: Clint Webb

Yeah, I've been kinda incommunicado as of late. And I'll probably dump my life-changing personal and social issues on you sooner or later, but until I decide that sharing pain anonymously is really going to dilute the process of going through it, please enjoy a clip from a show you can catch on IFC.