Little Shambles Goes to College

I dropped my daughter off at college today - and spent a good part assembling IKEA furniture and manhandling the dorm pieces to arrange the room into her ideal configuration. It was a pretty heavy day for her and left me burned out, but she seems to be okay about it and I'm sure she'll be fine on her new adventure.

My first mind fuck was driving into town and realizing I was doing the same thing with my parents 19 years ago. 19 years ago? Damn. I saw all these "kids" checking in, wandering about, getting their bearings (hello ladies!), and floated back to my experience, specifically my experience on move-in day.

I was a suburban white kid rolling into a 4-person room with my punk/goth/indie CD collection. Focus on Biotech (ended: Eng/Psy degrees). I think I'd had one brief conversation with each of my roommates on the home phone. No one had cell phones. I ended up with a brilliant crew: A cool guy with similar music and geeky tastes, a skinny white kid who was in love with rap, and a HS jock who brought his iguana, Gimpy. And while there were some differences in opinion, we were all cordial and had a great and amazing year with each other.

And then the feelings of waste and want to go back. How I could've done things better. I spent my last year in drink and drugs and had lost almost all contact with those wonderful people. But, y'know, get over it; you can't go back; it was what it was.

I'd spent part of last night compiling a mix CD for Little and it was hard to keep the eyes dry.



I was very worried that all of today would be me weeping, but it didn't hit me until my second mind fuck: after driving 4 hours there, spending 7 hours in the move-in process and dinner, and 4 hours back, I didn't lose it. It was walking back into the apartment and realizing that bedroom was now just an extra room. She won't be back for months. Waterworks.

Mini will be fine. She's got most of her family about an hour away and with smartphones, she's just a text away.

Sleep and process. I'll be fine too.

And then Monday is the dissolutionment, but that's another post on the other blog.

Thanks for reading.

Hey Crazypants, I'm Back!

I was stunned to see that it's been about nine months since I last posted.

That. Ends. Now.

I'm going through the end of a 12-year marriage, seeing someone new, and have Little Shambles between HS graduation and college in the fall.

Lots of shit going on. And yet there's this ache in me, this looming reality of conservative fuck-y'all that needs to be addressed, and I have been truant in my mission, my thoughts, that materialized when beginning this thing.

I started it and refuse to let it drop off.

If any of my readers are still out there, please say hello. It'll help me keep to task and hold me accountable.

This week is the intro. Next week on I'm aiming for at least 3 posts a week.

See you soon - and thanks for still paying attention.

RS

This is Why We Can't Get Things Done in the USA: DEA Admin Plays Dumb

Honest Trailers: World War Z

Spoilers if you haven't seen it. Hilarious either way. And too, too true.

Jeff Foxworthy and The Lord

It was a lazy Saturday and damn it if I didn't stumble upon Jeff Foxworthy's new gig.


(click to embiggen)

I guess he just couldn't hack it with the 5th graders?

And yes, I watched some of it and, yes, it was as awkward as you can imagine.

Or maybe you can't. Here's a promo video.



I know; you're excited. They're doing re-runs now, but it's coming back for season 3 in March. Squee!

How We Should Name Hurricanes

Brilliant

That Other Blog and My Daughter Almost Dying

I'm sorry that I've let this go. It will come back in the next few weeks.

I don't know if you've seen my newest blog about my separation, but I ask you to check out my latest post at least. It's scary but with a hopeful ending, and the most important thing that has happened to me in the last few years.

Politics and van murals will resume next week.

Thanks.

Tea Party - American Taliban (The Newsroom Clip)

Worth every second because it's so concise.

APEX: Next Big Thing in Tech (Onion, NSFW language)

New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

New Yorker's DOMA cover :)

Divorcing Kindly

Hey, if anyone wants to follow along with my personal reflections and whining while I go through this marriage break, I went ahead and started Divorcing Kindly in attempt to purge. I'm hoping it'll let me flush out the in-process stuff - and get me back to blogging some of the better CFC content I've been ignoring for the last few months.

It's in progress and will get prettier, but I just started tonight.

Thanks for sticking. Hopefully I'll be around a bit more :)

Little Inferno - Existential Game Review

I play many games online. Some are trite, some are engaging. This one made me reflect upon my life.

If you play games and would like to experience this yourself, please stop reading now and go to the website and rock through the few hours yourself. You'll thank me for it.

If you're reading but planning on playing, I'll try not to spoil anything, but have to convey my reaction, so no promises.

Little Inferno is basically you burning stuff. It's you buying things from catalogs and burning them. All of them. Everything.

It's billed in-game as an entertainment center. Here's a promo video you see a little ways in:



Did I mention it's crazy?


So you're burning things, all the things, and communicate via letter with a mystery friend while working through your catalogs and figuring out burning combos that get you stamps that can make catalog items show up more quickly. At heart, a beautiful puzzle game that will obsess you, take control of you, and drive you to the end - which is only a few hours.

But in this process of you burning things, you hear from you mysterious friend, you get weather updates, and promotional mail items from the creator of your Little Inferno. And then, while burning everything in sight, things get complicated, even sad, but you keep burning and buying, burning and buying.


And then I get all introspective about it.

This game isn't nuts at all. It's fun, but it's a commentary on commercialism and how playing games eats your time. You're buying and buying and burning and burning. You buy a doll and burn it and get more money back than you paid for it. Your purchasing power is increased by waste, by destroying what you just purchased. And then you purchase more.

And what the fuck are you doing? You're buying items, waiting for them to show up, and putting them in the fire. Because all you can do is burn. You burn or stop the game. And by burning you feed into the game's narrative of accepting your need to burn because that's what Little Inferno expects from you, but you learn that burning will bring some minor interaction as well.

You have a few little interactions, and they become so deep in their brevity that you might laugh them off, dismiss them, but at one point you will be struck, and I'll just say I was fighting tears about a piece of mail that I had no choice but to toss into the fireplace.

And then the end. Like I said, I won't spoil it, but it speaks in a very meta way to you disengaging from what you're doing and rethinking what the hell you just spent the last few hours doing.


I will play it again. I will enjoy it - and almost-weep - again. And I'll think again what the hell I was doing playing it in the first place.

There's a whole world out there.

Sorry - Life is Hard

Another sorry from me about my life.

Marriage end is being filed in the next weeks, I'm moving out in 2, and everything else just piles up. I'm trying to hold it together, get things changed over, and keeping sane.

I've not had time to even update my own journal, let alone this blog, or start the "Divorce" blog I've been considering.

In all my free time, right?

That's all I got. I have a review of a neat game for tomorrow. But that's it for now.

I'm working on it. Thanks for reading.

Gov. Kasich Insurance Pout Party

So I run a small business, just me and one other, and I don't have the resources larger companies do and as I'm soon to be single, I thought I'd check out what's going on with the Ohio Insurance Exchange.

I mean, I don't keep directly up to date on exactly what days what portions of the ACA are being implemented, so I thought I'd check it out. Here's the page. You don't have to visit it because it's useless. It's basically a government page, paid for by my tax dollars, saying Obamacare is terrible and we're not doing an exchange and the US government can just do it because Boo Obama and Boo Healthcare and why's everyone so mean?

Literally useless.

So I contacted the email address on the page and wrote the following note:

Hello,

It's difficult writing this email because I don't want to offend anyone who did not compose or direct the construction of the exchange page. This is directed at those people.

As a small business owner, I was looking to find out what opportunities might be emerging in Ohio for obtaining insurance due to the ACA. Visiting http://www.ohioexchange.ohio.gov/Pages/default.aspx and the linked pages, I was literally looking for information on where "individuals and small business owners in every state can purchase qualified coverage."

But there was no actual information about what was happening, when it was happening, and when I, as a two-person business, might be able to even begin researching my health care coverage options. What I found instead was a thinly-veiled whine-fest that amounted to "Obama is mean and we're not gonna play."

If Gov. Kasich wants to be a petulant brat about the ACA passing, let him do it in the corner, in private. This is an issue that affects real people in real ways and pouting obstruction on an Ohio government "information" page is doing no one any good or service.

By providing vague, formless information on the web page, Gov. Kasich is not slowing or stopping the ACA, but proving that a partisan grudge is more important than the people and businesses of the state of Ohio, and by demonstration is unfit to lead our great state.

And yes, I pasted the meme into the email as well.


Imagine if some brilliant new tech was invented that gave everyone - despite socioeconomic status - the ability to connect to the internet and be a part of a global community. Imagine it was relegated to the States as to how to offer access to this new technology and you hear stories from Oregon or California or Colorado like "OMG Awesome Tech!!!!" and you finally decide to dig in and see what it's all about and look at your Ohio page for the New Tech information and all the page says is "The president and the internets are stupid. That is all."

That's how I feel.

And Ohio's not the only one. There are many of us in this basket of borderline or blue at the presidential election, but locally gerrymandered into a minority in our state. It's downright scary at times, but this time it's just the governor being a whiny, weak, sad man.

Supercut of Riker (ST:TNG) Cowboy-ing Up to the Table?

Between Two Ferns/The Lonely Island - Zach Galifianakis & Spring Break Anthem

Obama Hates Jesus and Wants to End Homeschooling!

If you want the whole misleading story, feel free to visit this story, but my synopsis is probably more entertaining.

So there's this German family and they're super-duper-über-Christian and because those public schools in Germany are Christ-free zones (and teach "witchcraft and graphic sex education" - seriously, that's a quote from the article), they want to maintain full control of everything their kids see, hear, and learn. Shhh...back to your cocoon.

But Germany's all "Nein!" - which is something Hitler probably said at one point - and will be persecuted because they're Christians. What? Oh, sorry. I meant they would be prosecuted because home schooling is not recognized as a reason to keep your kids out of school. In Germany, they call that truancy. Here: freedom!, there: totally freaking illegal. Seriously, like jail, fines, and even losing your kids.

So Quotable!

“There were stories where [school children] were encouraged to ask the devil for help instead of God and actually the devil would help (in the story),” Uwe said.

“When we found out what’s in the textbooks, it’s exactly the opposite from what the Bible tells us and teaches us, and we wanted to protect [our children],” his wife Hannelore added.

So they get over here to the good ol' USA because Oh, the humanity! and a federal judge who was apparently drunk at the time looked at their request for asylum and said "Oh yeah, totally. Jeebus! 'Murica!!" That was five years ago.

Well, someone in Obama's administration decided to review some of those items and was like "WTF?" and now the case is under review. Why? Because if a family wants to home school in a foreign country and can't, just because we do it here does NOT mean they are under persecution because they can't. They live in a different country, they are not in harm's way at home, and you can't come to America and claim asylum because you don't live in America! They need to return, suck it up, review their hyperbolic bullshit, and be proper guides and parents when they're not at school.

What does that mean to right-wing Christians? Christianity is under attack! What does that mean to home-schooling parents in America? Well, nothing until the right-wing Christians declared "Imagine: Homeschooling is under attack! And ignore that 'imagine' bit!"

Oh, and don't forget that this happened not because a ruling was under review but because EVERYONE knew this was happening and was totally totally down with the happening and cool with letting the Germans hang in the US here - but then Evil Obama got wind of Unnecessary Freedom and knew it was his duty to crush both religious freedom and home schooling with a single swift blow with his giant Muslim hammer, Mjöl-jihad!

Which makes me wonder, with the answer clear in my head: What story would be hearing if this German family were Muslim? Well, we would've known five years ago, because as soon as Obama took office, Glenn Beck's goons would've picked up on it and declared "Obama Illegally Giving Sanctuary to Muslim Culture and Radical Thought!"

All I have to say to all the propaganda and bullshit machines on the right:

Conspiracy Lives: Boston Bombing

Little while back I made mention of those conspiracy theory nutjobs who said Sandy Hook was a hoax, an act, that no one was hurt, that it was a show (some say "exercise" accidentally reported as real, some say staged by the government as a "false flag" to raise to take down the Second Amendment).

Just a quick reminder that the depravity and insanity of us humans continues: there are people out there calling Boston the same thing.



Again, not linking because that would give them credit. People can be assholes.

In Short: Our Boston Week...

Today was a good day.
Both primary suspects have been stopped for their "alleged" role in the Marathon Bombings, robbery, killing, city shutdown. There is little doubt they planned and carried out this horrific act.

Today was a bad day.
All I see online is "of course they were Muslims!" and "Haha, the libtards thought they were Tea Party/Christians!" All I see online is how Dzhokhar Tsarnaev should be tortured, dragged through glass, waterboarded, ...killed as soon as he can stand. I see on TV shouts of "USA! USA!" for the arrest of an American citizen.

We pull together. We celebrate success.

For those politicizing it and lauding torture: Stahp! You are making us ugly.

e-Card on Voting Republican

Imagine, An Emotional Dump

(This is an emotional dump and catch-up to the divorce posts, so feel free to skip.)

Imagine, for a moment, that you daughter has just turned seventeen. Imagine she took and passed her test and has been a licensed driver for about a week when you buy her a brand new used car the day before Easter. (It'd been planned for a while; she got a job at the local amusement park for the summer.) Best parent in the world. And the very next day, in a sudden bottleneck on the highway, in something you could not have possibly avoided, you crash into that new car of hers while she is driving, rendering both un-drive-able. (We are both okay.)

And the following day you get the sore throat intro to the worst cold you've had in years.

And the following day you find out two of your credit card numbers were stolen - probably in-person where you used it - and your personal and business accounts have been frozen.

Imagine also that your 11-year marriage (that has been decided it was moving towards dissolution of marriage about two years ago) was finally coming to a head and since you couldn't hold onto the house solo, you're going to be the one moving out. Oh, and your spouse started kinda dating some guy a couple weeks ago - and thinks that's an okay thing.

So right now, imagine you're looking at apartments because you're moving out of a 6-year home and 11-year marriage in less than 90 days, trying to consider all the pieces that go with moving, with filing with the court, with becoming alone (and learning how to love yourself) again (if you ever knew), how 11 years of marriage will split in bills and books and insurance and furniture and your daughter's time, stemming a rising tide of depression, holding a job, sorting out how you're going to pay for anything, pushing due diligence in research for the purchase of your new used car which NEEDS to happen in the next week - all while closing off the anger of your spouse dating and blowing lung cookies out your nose while attending rehearsals for the local play you're headlining in a month.

Sometimes we have black clouds. This has been my last two weeks.


Sorry, but I warned you it was a dump.

Thomas Jefferson on Changing Times

"I am certainly not an advocate for frequent and untried changes in laws and constitutions. I think moderate imperfections had better be borne with; because, when once known, we accommodate ourselves to them, and find practical means of correcting their ill effects. But I know also, that laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths disclosed, and manners and opinions change with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also, and keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy, as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

- Jefferson to H. Tompkinson (AKA Samuel Kercheval), July 12, 1816

Liberty and Justice - For ALL

The Right to Marry: Prop 8 & DOMA

(sidenote: you hashtag FB and I'll pull your nosehairs)

I'm getting a little oversaturated with this week's SCOTUS questioning of California's Prop 8 and DOMA. The reason is that, for me, it's very cut and dry: every consenting adult should have the right to marry another consenting adult despite the sex of that person. Anything less is bigotry and discrimination, caused by ignorance and fear, and justified by hiding behind the shield of "freedom" or religion.

Some of the awful defenses we've all heard too much of:

The Bible!
Seriously? We're still doing this? There is NO sacred tradition of marriage in the Bible. Women are property; Solomon had 700 wives, etc. And even if there was a single, unified message of the Biblical definition of marriage?




It's Sacred!
Shut up. If it were so sacred you'd be fighting to ban divorce as vehemently as you are fighting same-sex marriage.


The Tradition!
There is no solid tradition in marriage. If anything, the definition of marriage has always been mutable. From the Bible to every period in history from women being solid property to being decidedly subservient to the development of a very equal marriage and now we've finally developed enough as a society to be okay with a man marrying another man. The people claiming tradition are the same ones calling for a return to the "idyllic" lives everyone lived in the 1950's.


It's Unnatural!
If we're looking to nature for examples to forge a definition of marriage, that's kind of a wide spectrum out of which monogamy is actually out of the norm. Females with competing mates and multiple partners? Check. Homosexual relationships? Check. Bang whoever's around for procreation? Check.

What else is unnatural? Polyester, cable TV, and corrective lenses. Ironically, some of the clergy preaching about unnatural acts are the purveyors of one of the few "relationship" statuses that does NOT exist in the natural world: celibacy.


The Natural Order!
This one is similar to the one above, but generally eschews any religious backing to specifically state that marriage is a natural institution for the sole purpose of procreation. This, of course, is absurd, and would limit marriage to two members of the opposite sex who are provably fertile and potentially void every marriage after menopause or male sterility.


Fine, I'll Marry My Dog!
This is the most ignorant. This is about two consenting adults being denied a right specifically because of their sex and sexual orientation. This does not open the door to polygamy or bestiality or the normalization of pedophilia. You will never be able to marry your dog, no matter how much you enjoy the way it licks the peanut butter off your privates.


Christians will be Persecuted! / Christianity will be Illegal!
Fox News: Stahp.
Christianity is a huge majority and every version of every equal rights bill that has been introduced includes provisions for religious institutions to be exempt from a mandate to perform a marriage. Anyone you hear this from is either purposefully spreading fear or parroting someone who does.


What is not being clearly stated (or purposefully lost in the chatter) is that this is not a religious issue; it's an equal rights issue. If I need to get a marriage license, I go to the county, not a church. If I want to get married, nothing requires me to have it done by a priest; just someone the state deems qualified to sign the county-issued piece of paper. There doesn't even have to be a ceremony! As a non-denominational, licensed minister, I can meet a couple at Starbucks, sign their paper, and as soon as the Secretary of State receives it, they're officially married.

And because this is a civil institution and a civil definition of marriage, it is also a civil right. No matter how ignorant or scared or bigoted or religious a person is, every single argument against marriage being offered to two consenting adults of the same sex.

I Love You Roomba Cat

How Disney Stories Ended (awesome video)

Amazing singing / editing / creative talent and worth every second. :)

Wealth Distribution: Ouch

It's going to hurt. But you need to watch.

Beauty & Glamour

Thirty seconds of awesome. Weirdest thing you'll see today. Happy Friday!

Keep Calm and ...WTF?

Okay, folks. I'm gonna get a little sanctimonious on y'all's asses, get a little political on something that means very little here in the US of A - in Murica - except to a little subpopulation I like to refer to as "The Irish."

I saw this piece of shit online and got way more upset about it than I should have:



Really?

We're taking the "Keep Calm and Carry On" BRITISH maxim logo and giving it and IRISH twist? The British, who still occupy Northern Ireland? While Scotland and Wales are entertaining independence, the Queen's English still have their wee dicks stuck in the northern six counties of the Republic of Ireland? Combining the Crown of the UK with the drunken shamrock farce of Eire? As a man who won't drink a lick of Bushmill's*, this is a motherfucking bloody outrage! Margaret Thatcher is a cunt!


[Disclaimer: this is a farce. I find it ironic and unfortunate but am not really worked up, in case you didn't catch the clues.

Also: *Bushmill's is considered an Irish Whiskey, but because it is produced in Northern Ireland, I have met a few die-hard Irish that would rather drink a gallon of piss than a bottle made in, promoted by, and sending taxes to England.

Also: Margaret Thatcher was a cunt. And I have a photoshop image I shamefully created on request involving MT and rope and nipples that I will post a link to in the comments if requested.]

Conspiracy! Sandy Hook, Bullets, and Collapsing America

I'll weigh in on Sandy Hook and gun control in the coming weeks as I get my feet wet again, but I wanted to point out a couple insane conspiracy theories going around. And these aren't just "Holy hell check out this dark, scary corner of the internets," but things I have heard discussed by callers on mainstream, right-wing radio shows (as per usual, the hosts don't disavow the nuttery, they goad them on and ask why mainstream media isn't picking up on this) and people on my Facebook stream.

*shiver*

Sandy Hook

You know the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting never happened, right? It was just an exercise. No one is dead: no teachers, no children. No parents are truly grieving because it's all an act.

See, Obama had to push his radical gun-control agenda through as the first step to confiscating all guns and turning America into a police state. But he knew no one would have that, so he staged a school shooting targeting young children. The stories? The police? The deaths? The emotion? The sentiment? All fake. Because Obama is Hitler.

I am not linking anything here because no one involved deserves a link. But if you want to be terrified by humanity, a quick Google search will lead you to that place. And here's something that showed up on my FB feed today to rustle your jimmies:




Bullet Buyin'

The US Government is buying up all the bullets. Like all of them. Like billions of bullets so even if you hide your guns Obama wants to make sure you can't shoot 'em. Even the IRS is gettin' bullets. OMG!

Obviously, there are no real reports backing this but you can find it all over. Of course, the government buys a great deal of bullets; most of its offices have enforcement arms and then we have that whole military thing. The other side, of course, is that there are less bullets available currently because ...the nutters are drinking the NRA Kool-Aid and snatching up stockpiles because they think Obama wants your guns!

Conspiracy theorists are so meta.


Miscellaneous Nuts

Again, sorry for making you search (if you're that interested in the horror), but I refuse to give any of these goons links (which gives them search engine juice). Frighteningly, it's not hard to find.

• Not just Obama, but the UN is going to send troops into the US in order to confiscate all our guns.
• The Obama administration is currently, secretly building concentration camps in which to imprison Americans in the coming police state
• There is an actual group called Friends of Hamas and Chuck Hagel is in bed with them. (This one has been loudly and repeatedly debunked, but the right keeps on beating the drum of lies)
• Sekrit Moslom Kenyan Obama is going to change the constitution in order to begin his tyrannical reign with a third presidential term

Really, there is no end to the crazy. The Sandy Hook stuff creeps me the hell out, but conservatives are so whacked out about our black president, they just don't know how to attack any more. And for a lovely overview, Mother Jones put together this Obama Conspiracy Theory infographic. And that deserves some linking.

Any crazy crazy stuff you guys hear lately?

Day of Resistance is Tomorrow *facepalm*

So because Obama is singlehandedly dismantling the 2nd Amendment and looking forward to his time using his Kenya Powers to fly around America and take all the guns from all the people, tomorrow is the DAY OF RESISTANCE! From their website:

On January 16, 2013, President Barack Obama issued 23 executive actions against your 2nd amendment Constitutional right to bear arms. He did this without the consent of Congress which in itself, violates the foundation of the Constitution and the co-equal branches of government.

In response to these unconstitutional actions by the President, on .223, February 23, 2013 the American people will stand together in defiance to protect the right that protects ALL of our rights, the 2nd Amendment! They will organize locally so that they may band together neighbor to neighbor and reassert their community's right to determine their own destiny! Join today by selecting an option below.

I'm not going to address the stupid behind the fear behind the executive orders (none of which have been taken, just suggested) and their unconstitutionality (they're put forth in a way that the constitution does not forbid and every president uses them).

*sigh*

So take a look at the official rally list and see if you need to stay indoors tomorrow. The official Gun Appreciation Day ended in seven or so hospital visits from accidentally discharged firearms. I'm guessing this will be much, much worse.

PS4 Announcement Synopsis (parody)

Even if you're not into video games, this is pretty funny and certainly worth the watch.

Jesus Christ is My Nigga

I know you're craving misguided youth outlook programs on the YouTubes. Well, here's, well ...just watch it. It's wonderfully terrible.

In Brief: The 2nd Amendment

Why do most conservatives you hear raging against gun control only ever refer to the name of the amendment?

Because if they had to quote it directly, they would have to acknowledge two rather difficult words:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

Inconvenient, that is.

And while I have your attention, Thom Hartmann's piece on the Second Amendment and how it was partially constructed to preserve slavery is a must-read for anyone remotely interested in the gun debate.

Cincinnati's Brian Thomas: Head-Exploding Ignorance

Our local AM morning talk show (before you get to Beck and Limbaugh and Hannity and Levin) here in Cincinnati is hosted by Brian Thomas on WKRC 550. Now, Brian is the sort of person you'd expect on a station like this: fiercely conservative spin-master of talking points of both sides while conveying an "aw, shucks" everyman reasonability.

However, this morning Brian went so far off the rails that I need to relay this tale. He had a caller this morning who didn't say much more than "Keep pointing out the socialism in the State of the Union" because she even has Christian friends who didn't think there was anything wrong with it and there are too many "stupid people."

And at this point, Brian went off on a self-described "tear." He said that Obama shouldn't be offering to help the needy or teach poor kids to read because that "is a theocracy" and by usurping good deeds, Obama - in his theocracy - is robbing Christians of the benefit they get from doing those good deeds, robbing them of the "feel good" aspect of helping others.

WTF?

Somehow Brian has missed some very basic ideas here:

• Christianity is not about fretting over your reward. If you're doing that, you're doing it wrong.
• Christianity is not about fretting over how many "feel good"s you get today. If it is, you're doing it wrong.
• Helping others in need is a good thing in any context; Christians don't own that.
• Helping others in need at a governmental level is NOT a theocracy.
• I can't buy wine on Sunday at my local UDF? That's theocratic.
• Legislating the "sanctity" of marriage? That's theocratic.
• Legislating creationism into the science classroom? That's theocratic.
• Legislating reproductive rights based not on science but a blurb in a 2000 year old book? That's theocratic.

I understand Brian is doing his best to tow the party line and turn anything Obama says - even if it were to be wonderful or beautiful or in lock-step with the Republican party - into dogmatic feces, but this morning's theocratic socialistic mind vomit was beyond the pale.

Brian: I know that 90% of listeners this morning sat back and just accepted that brief bit of babble into their subconscious mind, but if you don't mind the gibberish, you're stirring up a heaping helping of simmering mind melt out in your audience.

The Best 2 Superbowl Commercials

Here's my favorites. Pulled some tears, each one.

Brotherhood


God Made a Farmer



Oh, and yeah, I'm back.

Straight Facts on 12/21/12

I have already heard in person and seen on Facebook enough bullshit about 2012 that I feel like a few facts might help you readers strike down the stupid in a little cheat sheet here.

Quick notes for 12/21/12:

1. As a people, they are the Maya, not the Mayans.
2. As a people, they still exist as a culture, despite the Spanish.
3. The Mayan calendar does not "end" any more than our calendar ends on Dec. 31st.
4. Calendars are cyclical, ours and theirs. What happened today was a transition to the new (14th) b'ak'tun (or 13.0.0.0.0) on the long count calendar.
5. One b'ak'tun is 144,000 days, so it's kind of a big deal.
6. The Maya NEVER predicted cataclysm on this turn. That was a fairly recent construct of an intersection of New Age ideas, conspiracy theory, and popular culture.
7. A full set of 20 b'ak'tun (piktun) will occur October 13, 4772. HUGE deal. Still: no end of days.

So tonight, raise a glass to the Maya and the new b'ak'tun. But be careful out there friends: there are a great deal of misinformed people looking for an excuse to ignore all consequence. Cheers!

The Maya Madness

Tomorrow is 12/21/12 as we date in the US. Tomorrow will not end us any more than the cycle we look at in blocks is really a circle from December 31st to January 1st. On the WAY outside, it might usher in an age of enlightenment, but there won't be anything massively destructive going on.

But many people will think that. Our popular culture has pushed this idea far enough that I fear for one thing: stupid human action.

Have a drink, celebrate the Maya cycle. But be safe, my friends.



(Sorry, the absence is just me sorting things out. The blog is not dead, just on a bit of delay.)

Feeling a Lack of Monty Python on Your Bike?

Cat Friend, Dog Friend?

What if your friends were like your pets?



As someone with a cat and a dog, I can vouch for the final bit.

Fox Guest: Fox Acting as "Wing of the Republican Party"

I think we're starting to see some reason seep into the cracks and fissures of the Right that Obama's election has created. Excellent video of the exchange here:

Breaking the Taboo (narrated by Morgan Freeman) Trailer

We're Trucking!

Happy Friday.

Papa John: Poor Baby

So this giant mansion owning Republican douchenozzle is crying about Obamacare. Boo. Hoo. He says Obamacare is going to make bad things happen. How bad? It's going to add $0.14 per pie. (Even though HuffPo has some lesser numbers.)

OMG, Papa John must despise democrats and Obama because the policies of the last four years have been a disaster for his company. I mean, right?

No. Papa John's stock this time in 2008 was bottoming out at $15 due to Bush's policies. After almost four years of Obama presidency that same stock is floating near $50, only recently affected by his own public dickery.

So, Papa John, are you better off four years later? Oh, your lips say "no," but your mansion says "YES."



See?

Obama Talking to his Staff - :')

If You Missed Diane Sawyer Drunk...

I'm sure she'll say she was over-tired, but it looked like a whiskey IV. Here's a lovely compilation:



Also: Hell Yeah Obama!

I'd Vote Mr. Ford Every Day

Happy voting day.

Stupid is as Stupid Says: 8 Minutes of Ignorant Ohio

Want to hear right-wing talking points garbled, shuffled, and vomited out by ignorant masses in Ohio? Sure you do. And yes, it is worth all 8 minutes of your time.

I don't care who you're voting for, but know what the fuck you're talking about.



My favorites? Buddhists coming into the country to take our freedoms and Meatloaf's sweaty near-seizure.

If you haven't yet voted, make it out tomorrow. If for no other reason than to make these people very, very sad.

Not Waving But Drowning by Stevie Smith - Audio

So, ya wanna get weird in the blogspace?

One of my readers already thought it strange that I was 35 (though she didn't elucidate her expectation as to whether that was too young or old). So here's my voice as I opened an account on Soundcloud. If you like it, I might do occasional posts in both type and VO.

Let me know what you think.


Not Waving But Drowning
by Stevie Smith

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he’s dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

Limbaugh on Sandy

Yesterday, lying lard lord Rush Limbaugh made a simple statement that rang true with me. He said that the Sandy situation was a microcosm of why Obama was having trouble. He, of course went on to spew some stupid, made-up bullshittery, but I saw a direct correlation from the conservative angle:

Obama is handed a disaster, immediately attacks it with heartfelt sympathy and dedicated concentration. Whatever he does well is ignored, any conservatives who point out anything positive are ignored or derided, and a bevvy of speculative "what ifs" are introduced for the Monday morning quarterbacks of Fox News to tear apart exactly how it could have happened better. And that's just the slight right. Push out further and you've already got the nutters saying he used HAARP to cause Sandy to win the election. And not to worry: we're early yet; I'm sure we'll see legal blockades raised in order to blame Obama for not doing certain things. But those will surface only after he wins next Tuesday.

So, Rush, you were more right than you intended. You so ironic.

Dungeons & Dragons & Bitches

Romney: Liar Campaign

Feel free to steal. Figured out they're using Trajan Pro as a font and decided to have some fun.

Trippy Kitty

Um, yeah, so I saw this today. Enjoy.

Message From the Greatest Generation

Not Dead, Just Fat

Been a while. Since I posted, that is.

I've been going through some mild depression, trying to get my shit together, and finding myself overwhelmed with apathy when it comes to politics. I mean, when we get to the point where AM band conservative hosts up through the Republican vice- and presidential candidates can blatantly shift from generally-expected spin to outright lies, when those who would debunk those lies are ignored because the right is so brainwashed to ignore any Romney falsehoods or ideology switches while making the slightest fart from the liberals into earth-shattering Somemotherfuckingthing-gate, really, what is there to say?

One of the things I've been working on is my weight. I'm not fat, really, but a stocky (somewhat muscular) 205lbs at 5"8" and just got back from a visit to California where I quickly realized I was generally the fattest guy in the room. Oddly enough, the vanity that drove most of the people I met made me realize I was not taking good enough care of myself on a physical/health level. So I'm making some changes.

And I don't know if it's just today with the excitement of the hurricane or the promise that the intensity of the politics will deflate some after next week, but I was motivated enough to write this, and I'm posting a video a little later.

So maybe I'm getting back on the horse. We'll see. But I'm doing okay. Not great, but better than dead.

Don't Debate Me, Bro!

About the debate:

I think most of the post-debate speculation/analysis was and continues to be red meat hyperbole catering to the barking masses on both sides and about as useless as the campaign commercials. I think Obama phoned it in. I also think that if it had been Obama acting in Romney's role, the right wing headlines would be crying about how petulant, disrespectful, disruptive, staggering, and out of control he was with a touch of something about how he changes the rules to fit his "agenda." We'd certainly get at least one pundit pushing out an "angry black man" claim. I think Romney controlled the debate (or was perceived to do so), but my take was of a socially awkward teen not sure quite how to do so. "Shut up, Dad!" At several points watching both candidates I was questioning if I was watching Saturday Night Live.


Also, did Mitt just call Obama "bro?"

Burning Man GoPro Hula Cam

Not really safe for work - some breasts with covered nipples - but amazingly executed and edited. Could potentially make you dizzy.

Happy weekend.

R Kelly Wants Deaf Jehovah's Witnesses to Stop Masturbating

This is a 100% serious Jehovah's Witness ASL video about not masturbating - put to an R Kelly soundtrack. Brilliant.



(edit: For some reason I put Mormon instead of Jehovah's Witnesses in the original post. Not sure why.)

Abortion in the Bible: God Makes Exceptions

(Oh, the conventions have me busy and my younger cousin just got killed in a freak accident - shit's all kinda crazy. So sorry and mind the gap.)

With all last week's RNC platform bullshittery and the conservative nutterswarm going on this week - and watching these normally conservative folks I know on Facebook strike out for batshit - I'm about to swear off watching or hearing about politics until the day after the election.

But with all the far right anti-ladyparts RNC hubbub all the way to the fem-shaming of Fluke we got to see today after her rockin' speech last night, I thought it might be a good time to bring something to the surface that I just learned last week: God provides an exception for abortion if the female has been unfaithful.

No, really. Soak it in.

11 Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 12 “Speak to the sons of Israel and say to them, ‘If any man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him, 13 and a man has intercourse with her and it is hidden from the eyes of her husband and she is [a]undetected, although she has defiled herself, and there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act, 14 [b]if a spirit of jealousy comes over him and he is jealous of his wife when she has defiled herself, or if a spirit of jealousy comes over him and he is jealous of his wife when she has not defiled herself, 15 the man shall then bring his wife to the priest, and shall bring as [c]an offering for her one-tenth of an [d]ephah of barley meal; he shall not pour oil on it nor put frankincense on it, for it is a grain offering of jealousy, a grain offering of memorial, a reminder of iniquity.

16 ‘Then the priest shall bring her near and have her stand before the Lord, 17 and the priest shall take holy water in an earthenware vessel; and [e]he shall take some of the dust that is on the floor of the tabernacle and put it into the water. 18 The priest shall then have the woman stand before the Lord and let the hair of the woman’s head go loose, and place the grain offering of memorial [f]in her hands, which is the grain offering of jealousy, and in the hand of the priest is to be the water of bitterness that brings a curse. 19 The priest shall have her take an oath and shall say to the woman, “If no man has lain with you and if you have not gone astray into uncleanness, being under the authority of your husband, be [g]immune to this water of bitterness that brings a curse; 20 if you, however, have gone astray, being under the authority of your husband, and if you have defiled yourself and a man other than your husband has had intercourse with you” 21 (then the priest shall have the woman swear with the oath of the curse, and the priest shall say to the woman), “the Lord make you a curse and an oath among your people by the Lord’s making your thigh [h]waste away and your abdomen swell; 22 and this water that brings a curse shall go into your [i]stomach, and make your abdomen swell and your thigh [j]waste away.” And the woman shall say, “Amen. Amen.”

23 ‘The priest shall then write these curses on a scroll, and he shall [k]wash them off into the water of bitterness. 24 Then he shall make the woman drink the water of bitterness that brings a curse, so that the water which brings a curse will go into her [l]and cause bitterness. 25 The priest shall take the grain offering of jealousy from the woman’s hand, and he shall wave the grain offering before the Lord and bring it to the altar; 26 and the priest shall take a handful of the grain offering as its memorial offering and offer it up in smoke on the altar, and afterward he shall make the woman drink the water. 27 When he has made her drink the water, then it shall come about, if she has defiled herself and has been unfaithful to her husband, that the water which brings a curse will go into her [m]and cause bitterness, and her abdomen will swell and her thigh will [n]waste away, and the woman will become a curse among her people. 28 But if the woman has not defiled herself and is clean, she will then be free and conceive [o]children.

WTF? I don't know. Maybe you guys have a little better insight than I do? Any is welcome.

Quick Update: The RNC Gots Me All Wrapped Up

Hey folks. Been tied up staring at the stupid at the RNC last couple days - if you want to see what I've been doing (read: "who I've been trolling"), you can click on my twitter info in the right column. All about twitter on this because shooting off my tweet mouth is way easier than doing a comprehensive analysis of all the lies. It would take me months and then my head would explode so you wouldn't get to read it anyway.

My most recent tweet is one of those things few people noticed, as far as me noticing what other people noticed by noticing their notices goes: Last night Paul Ryan, in an vapid attempt to push his relative youth in the "Hey, yeah, I gots me one of them iDoohickeys, I shore do. Hip, huh guys?" bid failed miserably. Yeah, he likes that Rock n Roll all right (and part of every day). His playlist goes from AC/DC to Zeppelin. I suppose he only likes all rad jams up to the letter "L." Or he's a liar. If he actually listened to Led Zeppelin, he would know better.

Who writes his shit?

Well, gotta run. Time to pick up my drink-on for tonight. Robo-Romney is poised to unimpress everyone and there's even hints that they're going to animate Ronald Reagan as a hologram, just like Tupac. I shit you not. Which means some "those infernal computer machines!" conservatives paid some techie liberals to build Holo-Reagan. They have the technology.

I'm hoping against hope to see a headline tomorrow: "Dem Sabotage - Hologram Reagan says 'Romney suck a dick. I'm out bitches. Peace!'"

Thor Rides a Wiener Dog

(click for bigger)

Title delivers. Did this on lunch. Happy Friday :)

(Source:
Thor: I need a horse!
Pet Store Clerk: We only have dogs, cats, and birds.
Thor: Well give me one big enough to ride.)

Jesus Riding Dinosaur: Meet the Artist Francesca Berrini

So you may recognize this image as an oft-used internet-wide wonder of delight:


Original Artwork of Francesca Berrini

(Spoiler: It's not misguided propaganda, but joyful, purposeful absurdity!)

About five years ago, I used that image in a post about Conservapedia because they had used it.

Over the weekend, I received a comment on that post that read as follows:

Hi there!

My name is Francesca Berrini and that image is actually my original art. You can see more of my Jesus and Friends images at my website: http://www.unusualcards.com/Jesus_and_Friends.html

I'm delighted that I could confuse everyone, but I'm a little disappointed that I've gotten no credit for my work.

Thanks,
Francesca Berrini
UnusualCards.com

So this post is an attempt to make this right. And in doing so, I discovered her website above and OMG Amazing, Jesus Riding Dinosaur is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the brilliant talent and jaw-dropping hilarity. How much brilliant talent? Well, please go ahead and click this link and check the other categories and see for yourself, but I will drop one teaser to drive you on:


Original Artwork of Francesca Berrini

And if any of you are Redditors, I created a Today I Learned... post that could use some love as well.

So here's your credit Francesca. Doin' what I can to spread the word!

UPDATE: Been a little crazier than I thought. Right now, less than 12 hours after first posting, over 1600 people have seen her on my Something Awful post and almost 2000 have taken the time to up/down vote on Reddit (not counting direct clicks to her site with no vote/comment). And Francesca's mom posted in the comments here! Damn it, man, sometimes you just have an amazing day blogging!
[Note: None of those links come here - they all point to her site directly.]

Hillary for VP? Just a Repub Lie

If you're interested, I put together a nice post over at All Things Democrat discussing the ghost the conservatives have cobbled together feigning chaos in the Democratic party by insinuating there's a big decision between Biden and Hillary in the works. Spoiler alert: They're lying.

Kitty Story Palette Cleanser - Dirty Penguins

Club Penguin is a children's online game where you get to interact with other kids and known for tight control. First level you can only choose pre-programmed phrases. Second level is a server monitor that will auto-ban for the slightest naughty word. LOL.

My Cat is Dead - Long Live My Cat

D, that foreground, paw-licking darling, was put to sleep today after about 15 years to the day I brought her into my basement college apartment.

She'd been getting skinnier over the past several months, but so slowly you don't even really notice that much. This morning she was fine, walking around. When I got home after work, she was laying in the hallway between the bathroom and kitchen and I poked at her with my foot and said "What are you doing there, goon?"

And she didn't raise her head to respond.

She wasn't moving much, and when I moved in to pet her, I could see her breathing was labored. When she did gain consciousness, she looked around, tried to get up, and failed. Repeatedly.

I freaked and called 3 vets (apparently Wednesday is a golf day) before finding someone open, while Mrs. Shambles pet her. I wrapped her in a towel and off we went. I was a damned mess.

As soon as the doctor walked back in with her, I could see on his face what we needed to do and listened to him explain the emergency option without any of the muscles in my face or throat or lips or tongue able to say "Shut up and please - PLEASE - can we end her suffering?" When he finally said "euthanize," I found the words - or word - and said "yes."

I got to be with her and pet her head and say "It's okay" as they gave her her last shot. And I wasn't out of town (which I will be in two days) and she wasn't alone here at home. And for that I'm thankful.

Though I'm still a mess.

D is survived by her foster sister, G (background pic). She will be missed.


Haha, and she was exactly like this:


:')

Chik-Fil-A No Homo Cows

I'm just about Photoshopped out today :)

Holy Heroin Macaulay Culkin!

A horrifying heroin habit, apparently. So nothing to do but point out the obvious.

Mormonism, Conservatives, and Hate of Obama

Last weekend I caught an African-American Christian preacher on some AM station somewhere in the nowhere between Columbus and Cincinnati hissing with anger at anyone who would dare vote for such a man as Obama. Why? Obama is pro-choice. If you're pro-choice, you're a terrible sinner, and to vote for Obama would therefore be a real-world support for Obama's sin.

So I got to thinking on that topic and wondered: If conservative Christians are willing to dig so deep into these single aspects of Obama's politics/beliefs, equate them with religion, and say that to support Obama is to support all his sins, how does the general Christian voting for Romney - a member of the Church of Latter-Day Saints (LDS, aka Mormons) - weigh against their belief system?


Awww hell, we ain't even draft dodgin'. We stone-cold door-to-door'in' with some New-est Testament LDS evangelizin' rhymes.

For those who don't know, Mormonism was begun by Joseph Smith who, in 1820's USA, spoke to an angel who pointed him to a nearby hill that contained golden plates (left by Jesus' ancient follower-settlers, natch!) inscribed with a new Testament of the Bible which he translated out of pure inspiration and became The Book of Mormon. Huzzah!

This entire book, the foundation of their belief system and Word of God, is dismissed - sometimes as heresy - by every other Christian sect in the world.


Sad, Sad Conversation

So I thought I'd bring it up to an online group I sometimes converse with on politics and religion. I'm the only liberal, but I swear I wasn't trolling. I was genuinely interested: how are conservative Christians reconciling their belief disparity with someone they are willing to put in the White House?

And it didn't matter. Most of them, despite citing "ignorance of Mormonism" as a reason why some might not vote for Romney, had very little knowledge of - or desire to learn about - Mormonism.

(Note: I have nothing against Mormonism or their belief system or Mormons themselves. What I'm trying to do here is push someone [many someones] who use Obama's Reverend Wright's Black Liberation Theology as a go-to for "N0bama" [and that's a Glenn Beck parrot talking] to recognize what Mormonism even is.)

And forget reconciling belief systems; they just didn't care that there was a difference.

• The book of Mormon states that Jesus, post-Resurrection, chilled with Middle-East disciples then came to America (remember ancient settlers/believers?), healed some sick, preached a little gospel, set up disciples to spread the church to the Americas, and peace-out back to heaven? "Meh."
• The LDS Church regularly - as in now - baptizes the souls of the non-Mormon deceased. Pope John Paul II may very well be Mormon as he's been baptized posthumously - repeatedly. "Eh."
• The Book of Mormon talks about a star or planet named Kolob that is closest to the seat of God?
• Mitt used the Church of LDS to dodge Vietnam by travelling to France (he speaks French!) to go door-to-door evangelizing?
• Mitt Romney's father was born in Mexico because his grandparents fled the US because of anti-polygamy laws?

Take-Away

"Hey, you hear about that Black Liberation Theology? That's crazy!"

I could've told them that Mitt Romney believed that he had an alien mouse in his head running levers and a wheel and it would've been agreed upon and dismissed. These supposedly smart people knew very little about Mormonism and had little care to; they had already made up their mind.

And I agree that most of us have made up our mind and the millions spent from now to November will be on the 5% undecided. But there's no logic there, no reasoning involved: they hate Hate HATE Obama. For some it's race, for some it's BLT (Obama's pastor's church's tangential, barely-related philosophy bolstered to scare white people, not the delicious sammich), but for everyone, it's the "othering," the demonization of the man that has been going on for over six years.

Though, to be fair, I can't imagine what words would convert me to voting for Romney.

And so I guess that's where we're at in this election.

Any thoughts?


UPDATE: In this whole thought/forum experiment I failed to recall perhaps one of the most important issues in dealing with why Romney's religion is not much of an issue: over half of all Republicans do not identify Obama as Christian. That's a large piece of the equation I failed to include.

Boy Scout Bigots & Romney Racism

Today's a little bit of a hodgepodge, but all of it worth it.




Speaking of Comedy Central, if you haven't heard, the Boy Scouts of America have re-upped their anachronistic stance that homosexuals are NO GO in their group. Jon Stewart had a nice bit on it.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

And I thought a change to their logo would be appropriate. Feel free to steal and share:



I'll readily admit it's not happening as quickly as it should be, but it is really exciting to watch this all happen, to see large corporations and public entities and public figures stand up and declare solidarity with equal rights for same sex couples. I wasn't alive for the fight over Civil Rights (though I understand that struggle continues), but it is a joy to see these flailing organizations flabbergasted over everyone calling their cherry-picking out of a 2000+ year old book what it is: bigotry.

We still have a long way to go before "all men are created equal" means what it says, but there is progress.


And if you feel like being astounded, here's what a Romney adviser stated upon arriving in London:

When explaining why Romney would have a better grasp of the relationship between the United States and the U.K., the adviser had this to say—

We are part of an Anglo-Saxon heritage, and he feels that the special relationship is special. The White House didn't fully appreciate the shared history we have.

Happy Wednesday!

Power is Foul: We Already Knew It

So why aren't we listening?

Charlie Chaplin:



George Carlin:


Pass it on. Write a blog. Shout. Scream. Make everyone hear. The system is broke. We need to fix it.

So let's do that.

Sheriff Joe's AZ Presser: Obama's Birth Cert is FAKE! (No, really, still, totally fake)

Holy Jeebus. Yesterday, I watched the Sheriff Joe Arpaio's press conference. Old Man Bigot started it off and quickly transitioned to the lead investigator who blabbed and blabbed and played a video no one could hear and blabbed and video and blabbed again.

Did you know that when Obama was born the law in Hawaii allowed for a legal resident to report a birth and have it recorded as legal? Therefore: Obama is a Kenyan!

Did you know that doctors in Hawaii didn't want to speak with and divulge private medical information to shady, mustachioed investigators from Arizona? Therefore: Obama is a Kenyan!

Did you know that there's a 95-year-old woman in Hawaii who's really sharp and remembers some stuff about some numbers on birth certificates? Therefore: OBAMA IS A KENYAN!

That's how the whole thing went, and with the Q&A it was over and hour and they kept saying "proof" and "evidence" but all it was was circumstance and conjecture - and many thousands of Arizona taxpayer dollars wasted. All because some racist Sheriff doesn't think a black man should be president.

America! Fuck yeah!

Friday Videos: Pee Wee, Oz, Slinky, Pee Wee?

Pee Wee Herman voices the new Dark Night trailer.




Oz: The Great and Powerful trailer. Winner or flop?




Not new, but one I just remembered: Slinky on a treadmill




And, well, British game shows are just weird :)




Have a great weekend!

Cookie Monster: Share It Maybe

Seriously, PBS has their crap together. Awesome.

Godless Customer Sues Jesus Restaurant

This is a little more "take a look and discuss" because it's got so much mess behind it.

Here's the gist:

A Manheim Township man has filed a discrimination complaint against a Columbia restaurant that offers a 10 percent discount for diners who present a church bulletin on Sundays.


John Wolff, who is an atheist, filed the complaint with the Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission against Prudhomme's Lost Cajun Kitchen in Columbia.


Wolff said the practice discriminates against him because he does not attend church.

So here are the questions that come up in my head:

1. Is this actually discrimination?
2. Do you think there is a limitation to the type of "church bulletin?"
3. If my church is watching the sun rise, would the owner accept a picture of said sunrise?
4. So no one likes atheists, but how do "real" religion people like Muslims participate? The Jewish Population?
5. Would it be a little clearer if the owner offered 20% to Baptists, 15% to Protestants, 10% to Catholics, 5% to practicioners of Judiasm, 0% to Muslims?

That last question is what it boils down to for me. You get a discount for a belief system. Why not graduated tiers?

What do you think? Discrimination, or fair use as ownership of an establishment?

Bad Lip Reading: W & Clinton?

Sadness & Conspiracy & The Bar: A Health Care Retrospective

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the SCOTUS nine that day:
The score stood five to four, with some at yes and some at nay.
And then when Kennedy went right, and Roberts left, for shame,
A sickly silence fell upon us as the judgement came.

---

There is too much too much to talk about, so I'll start with the bar.



My local haunt just up the road from home was my first stop after a full day of "work." (Of course I say "work" because like Republican Congressman Mike Pence, I too likened the Supreme Court ruling on the Affordable Care Act to 9/11: I was ineffective and nothing but a media consumption machine.) I needed to stop in because another regular to my spot is an outspoken Limbaugh/Hannity parrot (let's call him Dolton) and I was hoping he was angry and loud so I could just soak it up.

I broke with my swear-off of right wing radio just for one day and I was not disappointed on the ride over. Hannity was moderating a discussion and who-knows was shouting about how it was going to destroy America and everyone was audibly upset, like they'd just lost Reagan again but this time he killed himself after Obama whooped his ass with a tire iron. It was a jumbled cacophony of angry and fear and consolation and denial and atta-buddy and "We'll get 'em next time!" because Roberts is a brilliant Constitutional lawyer - he just got it wrong.

The way it unfolded couldn't have helped. Fox and CNN got it wrong and it was such a major issue, such a grand event that knowing how disappointed I was and how much higher I got when the big reveal came, I can only imagine the emotional depths to which the anti-Obamacare folks fell.

Here's my representative, Ohio's Jean Schmidt, freaking the hell out in a joyous explosion in public:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

If only that video had run for 20 minutes to catch the aftermath.

The pain and sorrow was palpable everywhere and the denial was painful to watch. This is what Drudge and Savage have been doing since yesterday:



And if it wasn't that, it was because he was coerced because he was blackmailed because he is rainbow-farting GAY!

(But there was one interesting nugget provided by Gawker about how Roberts totally did this intentionally because he has a wider game stance and is plotting something really big.)



The freakouts from popular pundits and pols alike? Flippin' epic.

And some comeuppance is due as well. O'Reilly had said he'd apologize for being an idiot if the ACA was upheld by the Supremes:



Limbaugh said in 2010 that if this all went through, he'd move to Costa Rica. Unfortunately for him, Costa Rica has universal health care. D'oh. Speaking of idiots, Buzzfeed did a lovely collection of tweets from those railing against socialized medicine and who had had enough - so they were moving to Canada. Where there is socialized medicine.

Palin was in on the action, Rubio needed no cue to jump in front of a camera, and the overwhelming talking point is "OMG - it's a TAX on America's working class!" Unless you're Rep. Phillip Gingrey who simply said "I don't want to have a beer with Justice Roberts today."

Which brings me back to Dolton.

I walked into the bar, sat in my usual spot - far from him. I was expecting him and his cronies to be long drunk by 5pm and hootin' and a-hollerin' about how this was the end of America. Dolton looked drunker than usual, but he was alone, slumped somewhat over the bar, and staring at the non-stop coverage on the big-screen. On MSNBC.

He briefly glanced at me as I sat and ordered a vodka grapefruit and a shot of Rumple Minze, his mouth slightly open as though he might say something but could find no words. He went back to the TV, his Miller Lite, and his doubles of Jägermeister. Dolton was a broken man yesterday, as though part of his soul was leaking out in place of the tears he wouldn't let come in public. I really almost felt bad for him.

Almost.

---

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
Yes, "America" we call it - don't let the Repubs find that out.

Return of Van Mural (Insert Day)

They speak for themselves, though some of it might be unintelligible :) If you want to enjoy all the goodness of Van Mural days past, click that Van Mural tag at the bottom of the post and you can browse them all.

Whee!








(van mural of van murals? *mind blown*)

The Divorce Cometh, Man

(This is personal and not happy. You have been warned. Go away if you like. But come back. Van murals tomorrow.)


Ah, patient readers, you may recall this gem from two years ago - OMFG, it's been two years? - wherein I divulged that Mrs. Shambles and I had settled on divorce after growing apart and being at a dead standstill on either side of the fence about having a(nother) child.

Give it a look if you don't remember or haven't been around that long. Good read for a horribly depressing monstrosity of a life event.

And it gets even stranger-worse!

As we have not paid down our debt and have gone two years, we have lived in a relatively copacetic, visually emotionless void. For Little Shambles, of course. Big events that have happened since that post have been the passing of Mrs. Shambles's mother (only 60) and our ten year anniversary, both weathered with ---

FUCK!

Sorry, not even sure what the hell I'm trying to convey or vent here.

Brass tacks: last month we talked again, pinned down that we were still in those same places - although even more distant now - and now that Mrs. Shambles is back to work and my contracts are getting more lucrative, we may or may not be divorcing in the next year. Might wait until Little Shambles is done with HS in two years. Might not. For as much as Mrs. Shambles hit me up with being uncommunicative or too hard to engage during these past two years on the handful of times she did engage, when I pushed the issue, she had apparently not been sitting on a bunch of planning.

We did talk plainly, which was kind of nice. The impasse is far too wide and deep for a bridge. We are going to do our own thing (and have been for a while). And Bee-Tee-Dubs, what makes me happy?

It's no surprise to anyone that with my history of depression and this weirdness have left me completely perplexed at the answer to what should be a pretty down to Earth question. But ...I'm not sure. I have things I like, but in this situation I can sometimes only dwell on the fact that I LOVE making other people happy and how - when it came down to it - it was my selfishness that would not allow me to do that one thing for the person I loved most.

(Really, I only think about it in those terms on occasion. Totally in a healthy way. Right?)

So I continue to live in the void. The "I love yous" are ghosts if I hear them at all. Even texting I love yous quickly turned to KKKs (kisses, you racist), and then burned out like the cross on your lawn. Kisses on the lips? Nil. Sex? Can't remember when.

Communication, especially in the last couple months, has not just shriveled up but started pushing into disrespect. I'm a patient all-kindsa-zenny guy, but my lean is going from "let's just get through what we must" to "seriously, you live on your goddamned Blackberry but you can't even answer a text or two a day?" And it's not over "OMG work iz hard" but "Hey, I'm making dinner about six, is that good?" and not getting an answer until 7. Or 10.

And our daughter doesn't know. And her dad and my folks don't know. And it goes on. We haven't worn our wedding rings in over a year.


SO I guess my bullshit post here is more for venting than anything else. Not much progress, a little more frustration, and a lot more "What the Hell?" Sorry if that's disappointment.


I don't know. Maybe next week I'll tell you how it's all my fault because every major relationship in my life has ended this way: they just get longer. Or not. Because that would be defeatist. And I only think about it in those terms on occasion. Totally in a healthy way. Right?


ADDENDUM:
I've got that emotional hangover feeling after posting this yesterday. I'm not going to make any changes besides this add, though, as it accurately reflected the breakfast burrito explosion that I sometimes experience in the midst of emotional turmoil, threshold, and a coating of insomnia from inheriting my mother's propensity to imagine the worst possible outcome.

Truth is, writing bubbled it to the surface again and Mrs. Shambles and I had another candid talk, which was good. In the coming weeks, we're going to get finances and budgets nailed down, we're going to come up with a plan to talk to Little Shambles, and take the rest as it comes. She'll be more communicative and I'll be more patient. With a house neither of us could afford on our own, we'll probably be sticking it out until LS goes to college in two years, perhaps opting for a legal separation before the official divorce - legal research is also on the docket.

Anyway, with over 1500 posts, there are only a handful of them that directly relate to me and only me - hell, even my gout posts were at least curiously informative. So, again, thanks for reading, and thank you for your patience.

Now how about some van murals?

Where the Hell is Matt? (World Dance Update)

So I sit here with my beer, looking at my computer, and I'm watching this video and find myself weeping. Weeping. Because one man has done something fun and amazing and spread so much joy. And it's wonderful.

You might recognize him from 2006 or 2008. Enjoy.



(And hey-yeah to Cleveland!)

Call Me Maybe

This is Carly Rae Jepsen singing "Call Me Maybe."

You probably don't want to watch it. I've heard the song / seen the video only twice, have not been exposed for a week, and yesterday it popped into my head and it won't go away.

If you have not experienced it, you probably should once, just to know what everyone's blathering on about. But the fact that everyone's blathering on about it should be a pretty powerful context clue.



My personal opinion? It's really quite terrible.

Right Wing Comments: Racism & Murder

In light of the asshole from the Daily Caller who decided it was cool to interrupt POTUS during a Rose Garden announcement on immigration (seriously? I guess respect is only implied if the prez is a white Republican), I went wandering from Drudge to a couple Daily Caller articles and it took about five seconds to find some demonstrative comments at which to become aghast.

I guess they speak for themselves, but a bit of background makes them that much worse:


(Bill Maher said Drudge was racist - see my last post for that confirmation - Daily Caller reported on it, Drudge posted it. Ironic, dontcha think?)


(Jon Stewart makes fun of Romney for making lotsa money, but Jon Stewart makes lotsa money too [please ignore that Stewart is not trying to pretend he's not rich and create some sort of "relational" facade; he's a comedian, not running for president], so you know ...money and Jews.... [which is such a strange juxtaposition: Entertainment & Jewish: nasty Shylock; Israel & Jewish: stop the anti-Semitic rhetoric, them's the only desert people holdin' back them terrorists!])

Honestly, if I keep this up, I'm going to have to massage the title of the post or they'll all read that way.

To paraphrase The Simpsons: "Romney 2012. Not racist, but the choice of racists."

Obama's October Surprise? Them Negros and Their Reefer

I guess Drudge has it: Obama will win the election on the legalization of marijuana. You know minorities and their penchant for the chronic, right? They'll come out in droves to make it legal so all them jigaboos can blaze up right on the street, right?

I am not being hyperbolic. Here's a screenshot from Drudge today:



Note how we have a pimp-hat pic of our president with something - OMG, is that a joint? - in his hand. You know, them negroes and their reefer. That's what Drudge is saying.


But aside from my snark, we do have good news in this vein: 7 states have the shot at legalizing (somewhat) marijuana this year and further hurting the fool's errand we call The War On Drugs.

And Ohio's one of them! W00t!

So bad news:
Black people smokin' joints is still something that can polarize the stupid.

Good news:
We're getting closer to killing those stereotypes that led to the prohibition of marijuana and legalizing a substance that is not only less harmful than alcohol, but will significantly end some of our border violence by being a US product.

Cheers!

Mister Rogers Remixed - Garden of Your Mind

Produced by PBS, this is a stunning video exemplifying some sort of magic that happens if you can merge amazing talent with classic imagery and create a hook that will answer a request for awesome that pours from the heart of every person who saw and loved Mr. Rogers.

Hannitizing Geography

From Hannity's radio show Monday:

Look, I don't want Wisconsin to become Detroit.

This has been your daily Hannity outpouring of concern over the apparent potentiality of a US state to collapse into a US city.

Rmoney Spelchekk v.2

Last week we took a look at how Mitt Romney put the "Merci" back in Amercia for his new iPhone app. Yowza.

But that was last week. This is now:



I imagine that a "sneak peak" would be something akin to stealth masturbation?

Mitt Romney's AMERCIA

No, you read that right. In an effort to get jiggy with the cool kids, Mitt Romney has released an iPhone app, "I'm With Mitt" in which you can do some low-rent Instagram work and let everyone in your social networks know that you're a gimmicky tool.

Problem with the app?

They've spelled America wrong.



Personally, I think it's a throw-back to Mitt's draft-dodging Mormon missionary work in France.

Romney 2012: Putting the "Merci" back in Amercia


Then again, it's no surprise at all. I've said it before: conservatives have very little understanding of two things liberals command: humor and technology.

And why no Android app?

Vibrator Movie Trailer

Don't mean to be all trailer-happy, promise something weightier later, but I found this trailer for a forthcoming movie (already out in LA & NY) Hysteria about the invention of the vibrator. Looks great!

God Bless America: Trailer

Must see this.

Quick Tips: The Drudge-to-Stupid Train

Hey, want to go crazy and lose your shit at the computer? You're in luck!

The quick path is to start at the Drudge Report (no, I will not post a link - guy's already gaming the system for stats), find an inflammatory headline, and click. You're already there!

Now, just go ahead and skip the story as it'll be some right-wing biased mess of illogical word diarrhea. Scroll down to the comments. Take a deep breath. And read.

Today's nutter drivel comes from comments at The Blaze where a crazy teacher lost her shit because she is a moron and was shouting that one of the kids could get arrested for talking about Obama:

I just learned recently that they have made it a crime to write to your Congressman to complain about the President..They have enacted 44 thousand new tyranus laws for us.. We are now Zionist /Fascist state. Their goal is to overtake the world.through our military..One would be naive to think that we pick our Presidents…the Federal Reserve (boss of the banking cartels) does that.and they answer to the biggest religion in the world..the Vatican. The Federal Reserve banks the Vatican’s gold. That is what we all want..right? To have the Zionists in control? Remember..anyone can become a Jew by being proselytized..conversion to Judaism by Torah observance..but the Zionists/Fascists are considered heretics…because most are atheists or secular..meaning they were never real Jews..What does the bible say about calling themselves Jews who are not? There is nothing we can do but prepare ourselves..Christ come in us..The prophesies are being fullfilled quickly.

(Sidenote: You can pretty much skip the Druge bit if you want to hang out on The Blaze all day.)

Now, get out there and get angry!

Ricky Shambles: Social Media Numbers (1500 posts!)

As a web developer, I'm enthralled by numbers when it comes to posts, web visits, and other tasty statistics. So here's my way-late update on my own benchmarks along with some other stuff that might be of no interest to you :)

Posts

This is officially my 1,515th post.

My first post ever was on 1/25/06 and it was about the travesty of Million Little Pieces - the travesty of the media, anyway. I thought the public shaming of James Frey in light of a little embellishment was unfounded, sanctimonious bullshit. So started Cause for Concern.

Which means I've been going for almost 6 1/2 years!

I added the widget to show the most fav of all time posts in the lower right - mostly sex n boobs. But since it's not quality and Google ganked up the widget display, I'll probably kill it this weekend.

I have 81 followers.

Sidenote: Twitter!

Yes, you can touch my Ricky Shambles Twitter any time you like. Just follow that link or come here often and catch the widget in the right column.

Here's how that looks:

1,059 Tweets
182 Following
147 Followers

And, as you can guess, I use that to spout opinion, troll idiot politicians, retweet stories, and sometimes speak irrationally while intoxicated.


Blogging - STAT!

Since I started:

192,260 people visited this site

Visits: 205,254

Unique Visitors: 192,260

Pageviews: 253,288

Pages/Visit: 1.23

Avg. Visit Duration: 00:00:25

Bounce Rate: 83.17%

% New Visits: 93.67%


Of that, I have had visits from 190 countries worldwide.


Mini-Sidenote: Tumblr

Ooh yeah, and I even tried my hand at Tumblr - Boehner Has a Sad, though it flounders as there are only so many pictures of John Boehner crying in existence. Check it out!


Conclusion

I'm awesome.

Or at least enjoy what I'm doing enough to have other people notice and continue this mess.

Thanks for reading. I truly appreciate it.

Walt Disney's Taxi Driver

Republicans? Get in that Vagina!

From Funny or Die:

Taliban Tea Party!

Idiot Nerd Girl: Revisited

Because I thought of another one:



For the Lulz. Now I've got a movie to re-watch :)