Larry Craig Resignation Betting Pool!

It's almost 4pm EST right now, and I have a very distinct feeling that the pressure kettle that is Larry Craig's conundrum (about resigning, not about coming out to his wife that he likes to suck dick through a glory hole, sometimes sans hole) will pop in the next 2 hours.

It's a simple equation: as time approaches the Friday evening story buryin' time, the likelihood of Craig resigning approaches infinity.

UPDATE: This just in! From the office of Larry Craig, a graph has been leaked - presumably from Sen. Craig himself - confirming my previous statement.



The media is gathered at Larry Craig's place. It's only a matter of time.

UPDATE 2: A slight miscalculation on my part, Larry Craig did not bite at the upswell of forgettable weekend news, but has taken Labor Day Weekend, and burrowed into the bosom of forgetfulness, the apex of the wave post-Snow-resignation, pre-game Ohio State Buckeyes opener, hiding himself amongst Miller Lite Waterfalls and the Great Grill Wall where he will slowly, sulkily, tiptoe away through scattered Tuesday morning hangovers under the cover of Tropical Storm Felix. He's having a "Saturday Morning" press conference "early this afternoon" (although earlier this morning it was "this morning") - During the Ohio State game! - Where he'll supposedly announce his resignation effective September 30th. Hell, the graphic is still accurate.

Honestly, I don't care when he does it; I just want to see him cry.

Stock Options and Terror Attacks: Coming this September?

Here's where the conspiracies begin, folks. Or, rather, some of the first information that'll be "we should have known" material should a major terrorist attack occur before September 21, 2007.

According to a Financial News article, someone has dumped a lot of money into what amounts to a market bet that Eurostoxx 50, Europe's top 50 stocks, will crash by 30%. Billions of dollars are at stake for this "investor."

Some further discussion leads us to believe that this is not the only instance of such trading and that whoever this mystery investor is will either be very rich or very SOL come September 21st.

Conspiracy theory? Take it with a grain of salt; remember that I also reported that we were going to start attacking Iran. Damn Russian reports.

Sen. Larry Craig: "I am not gay."

At the end of yesterday's sordid tale (Again With the Gay Republican Bathroom Sex), we left a picture of Bob Allen with a dildo in his hand (NSW) and Larry Craig stuttering out "I am not gay; I never have been gay."

The Police Report
The Police Report of Sgt. Dave Karsnia goes way beyond misconstrued signals. Not only was there toe tapping, but Larry rubbed his foot - from in his stall - against the police officer's, as well as swiping his hand under the stall in a playful/signaling gesture. Something seriously hinky was afoot, and if Sgt. Karsina says it was bathroom stall foreplay, I'm going to trust him on that.

The Past Allegations
The Idaho Statesman's complete coverage has it all: other toe-tapping behavior arrests, Larry Craig's past behaviors, a source who claims to have had sex with Craig in a bathroom in the past, Craig's resigning from several Senate seats, and the calling from other conservatives for him to resign. One word: snowball. No, not like that, gutter mind.

The Handling of the Airport Bathroom Sex Incident
If I were in a bathroom, tapping my foot, and a police officer came at me with allegations of lewd behavior, and I was truly not doing anything wrong, I would be fighting tooth and nail to get my name cleared. Larry Craig did not do that; he quietly accepted the charges and several weeks later went back to plead guilty to lesser charges in a sad move to push it to the side. He apparently did not consult with lawyers and appallingly did not consult with his wife. People only hide something that carefully when they have something to hide.

I saw the press conference, and as the bumbling reading came across over the coaxial I said to Mrs. Shambles: "This will not end well." We watched with disbelief as he denied everything, and for all the words coming out of his mouth, his demeanor, and body language, he might as well have been performing fellatio as he spoke. It would have been more eloquent - and elegant.

There is no broom; there is no rug; everyone saw through it.

I can see this ending tomorrow in another press conference, but I'll give it a week on the outside. Sen. Larry Craig needs to resign lest he further aid in the continuing collapse of the Republican party.

We Are Not OK

From Suspect Device for Bush's visit on the 2 year anniversary of Katrina:

Take a Stand Town Hall Meeting - End the Iraq War!

Last night I attended the Take a Stand Town Hall Meeting to end the Iraq War over in Oakley. Over 300 people showed up! Rep. Jean Schmidt and members of the press were not in attendance. Here's some pictures and information about the event and the speakers.

Get active! Get involved! (My letter to the media is at the end.)


Town Hall Meeting in Oakley - Iraq Forum


Some remained outside to raise awareness


This woman's sign is, sadly, different today


An overview of the event


Lining up and signing up: getting involved


Prominent message of the rally


(indoor lighting was poor, camera not up to task)
Connie Pillich was the MC and is a veteran


Councilman David Crowley, veteran, is a strong supporter of our troops and strong dissenter of the war - yes, you can be both - representing the political side from the point of view of City Council


Marty Webster put the fire of protest and outrage in our bellies, representing Vietnam Veterans Against the War as a founding member


Thor Jacobs came with enough political science to pull every troop out of Iraq for the betterment of the U.S. and the world - now we must spread that word


Sister Alice Gerderman, with Catholics against the war, added a realistic, humanistic, spiritual end to the speakers last night, speaking of what is in our hearts and how our leaders have strayed from the truth


Over 300 people attended


That's right, over 300 people

It was amazing to have so many people united in one place to support our troops and to end the war. It showed me the evolving face of concern that the Iraq war is taking on, and the humanism behind the eyes of the movement. And then there's that spirit, that fire that's beginning to smolder. Again, I say: get active. Get involved.

There were no members of the media present and Rep. Jean Schmidt was MIA, to turn a phrase. For that reason, this is my letter to The Cincinnati Enquirer, The Cincinnati Post, Local 12 WKRC, ABC-9 WCPO, FOX-19 WXIX, 5-NBC WLWT, and (slightly edited for) Rep. Jean Schmidt:

Yesterday evening, August 28, 2007, I attended the Take a Stand Town Hall Meeting to Stop the Iraq War. I - and over 300 other people - felt it important enough to give up an evening to discuss and become inspired about how our country, the United States of America, is wasting millions of dollars daily in a war that will not be won by force, but has cost over 3,700 American and countless Iraqi civilian lives. We gathered to discuss options on further protest, political and diplomatic perspectives, the lessons of the past, and to voice our disapproval about how a not-so-newly elected Democratic congress has failed to act on the one issue that mattered most when Americans made their decision in that ballot box last November: ending the Iraq War.

While the media and our elected officials were alerted to this Town Hall Meeting, Rep. Jean Schmidt and members of the Cincinnati media were conspicuously absent. My question to you is: when will it matter; when will it become news? At the last event I attended, only a dozen or so others were able to commit time during the day to show up, and I was disappointed then to see no media there. Last night there were over 300 people gathered to discuss the most important issue facing our country today, and the media took a pass. When will it become news? We are growing, becoming impassioned, drawing our friends and family into this circle of concern about the Bush administration's bumbling record and the congressional rubber stamp that is leading America down a road of ruin. We will continue to gather; we will continue to write letters; we will continue make phone calls until we can be ignored no longer. But when will it become news? When we're 3,000 strong in Cincinnati? When our government has allowed 5,000 American soldiers to perish overseas? When will you decide our country is important enough to simply show up?

Again With the Gay Republican Bathroom Sex!

mwm iso nsa m4m airport bathroom sex


The Senator's Website: NOT Brokeback Mountain, ID

In a recent post entitled More Gay Republican Blowjobs, I said "Will the joy of Republicans, gay sex, and bigotry ever end? My Magic 8 Ball definitively proclaims 'No.'" Less than three weeks have passed and I am pleased to proclaim the fidelity of my Magic 8 Ball. From, amongst others, WaPo:

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), a three-term senator, "pleaded guilty earlier this month to misdemeanor disorderly conduct charges stemming from his June arrest by an undercover police officer in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport."

Sen. Craig was apparently aware of the highly-complicated mating ritual of the homosexual bathroom deviant to tap their right foot under the stall, alerting other like-minded toilet trawlers that it is, in fact, "go time." Then he pleaded guilty - although he says he did nothing wrong - to handle it "quickly and expeditiously." Durr. Ooh, and did I mention he's outspoken about being part of the "gay people are dirty cause Jesus says so" gang?

Our American leadership has gone into absurdity overdrive.

You may also recall in my last post on this topic I captioned Bob Allen (R-FL)'s impressive ham-fisted ham radio pic with "no, I'm not Photoshopping a dildo into his hand." This second appalling incident has inspired me to reconsider that position.

(Not Safe for Work)
Bob Allen Photoshop

Enjoy!

UPDATE: 4:30pm EST Sen. Larry Craig Press Conference. Will he cry? Beg forgiveness? Pull a R. Budd Dwyer? Come out of the closet? Resign? Elect not to run again?

I can't wait!

UPDATE: Sen. Larry Craig has unsuccessfully dodged the issue, admitting to nothing, calling his choice to plead guilty "regrettable" and claiming "I am not gay; I never have been gay." He may as well have continued, "Glory holes are a hobby, not a lifestyle." The only truth in his press conference was that this issue is certainly not over. With the police report, anonymous sources, and the logic behind his line of reasoning, this'll get another post later today, and I'm adding a tag for him.

Miss Teen USA 2007 - No Maps, South Africa, Iraq

Some people are blowing this out, talking about the "ditzy chick" or the "blond moment." What struck me was the irony inherent in a question posed to express concern about the state of education in America, answered in a way that really showcased the poor state of education in America; that in order to gain recognition and worth to stand out and speak out against the ills plaguing society, they all believe this is the path, and they all must reinforce a stereotypical false ideal of beauty that will affect millions of little girls.

If you haven't seen it, you know you want to watch:


[Alternate YouTube Link]

It's painful to watch like the bad American Idol auditions, like that kid at the choir concert who - why? why? - got the music teacher to give him a solo. Ugh.

Glenn Beck's take? They tell us pedophilia is a bad thing and then parade 15-year olds around in bikinis. How confusing.

Actually, Glenn, there was only one fifteen year old in the pageant, and the only person who would make that statement would be a grown man who is personally struggling with justifying why they needed half a box of Kleenex on the end table during his viewing.

Ron Paul Dirty Tatctics

Ron Paul's followers are pulling some dirty politics. Kucinich Press Release.

The person who posted this was tricky enough to place a Ron Paul supporter group photo on the main page. Since the original posting, it has been altered to include many Kucinich photos. But the Ron Paul folks are still there (photo 4 of 7 as of this publishing).

Let's keep dirty politics out of it. The leaders are heavy enough in it.

Peter Cetera at Taste of Blue Ash

Some local loving of Peter Cetera for you. I was at the Taste of Blue Ash last night with Mrs. Shambles and some friends, specifically to see Peter.

He's still got it. Because I didn't have professional video equipment with me (the cell video is weak as hell and punked out at 30sec). Enjoy this logged YouTube as I enjoyed it live.

Hard to say I'm sorry.


[Alternate YouTube Link]

Muhammad had a Unibrow

From the BBC:

The authorities say the barbers were encouraging un-Islamic behaviour by offering Western hairstyles, tattooing and also eyebrow-plucking for men.

On the world stage, for as many problems as different religions - and in many cases different sects of the same religion - have relating to each other and/or starting wars and/or committing atrocities and/or genocide, should anyone be getting fucking tweaked over whether or not someone plucks as not to look like Jo-Jo the Dog-Boy and maybe get some under-the-burqa action?

Just to be clear: I'm not targeting Muslims. I have no tolerance for any of the organized religion accouterments that serve to veil the prime, raw truths that almost all religions have in common, the walls of money and power and death that encircle the same base concepts. These concepts, true throughout humanity, are accessible to everyone at any time in the entire history of our existence; because if you could see through the labyrinths of sacraments, past the stone towers of regalia, and into the heart of every religion's sanctum sanctorum, you would see something shockingly familiar, something you had always felt in the middle of your chest, an inner truth, a hope, an understanding of something greater than yourself.

You would be in a room. By yourself. With a mirror.

But in a world where the ultimate understanding is truly knowing and literally reflecting upon yourself, where you are not told what parts of what book are more important than the other parts and what books should and should not be burned, where you are not told who is wrong and who is right, where you are not given a dance of orbiting pomp and circumstance to jump the planned planets of submission, then there is no profit. There is no profit of cash or power for those who control religion; there is no profit for those who control the war industry, those that rely on intolerance; there is no profit for the religious politicians who drive those war machines.

Organized religion is important for many people all over the world, internally, as a guide, as a reference for Hey, maybe I shouldn't sleep with the boss's wife or Hey, maybe I shouldn't beat the hell out of that guy with a lisp. But from the the perspective of those that lord over the bureaucracies that pull the strings of extraneous, "sanctioned" apocryphal rules and laws, it's a form of control. And it is that line between reference and control that we all need to be aware of because on one side is the betterment of humanity; on the other: you'll end up spreading your belief at the expense of detriment to others and, perhaps, retaining that god-awful unibrow.

Sucker-Free Me

Buddha wept.

Yesterday's post Wingnut Blog Bounce: an Anti-Semite Adventure began with the site Blogs 4 Brownbeck.

In the last 24 hours, I have learned that it is a brilliant satire site. So well done, in fact, that I must give myself this award:



Thank you. And a thanks to Blue Gal on the tip.

Stop the Iraq War Activism - Aug. 28th, Sept. 15th

August 28, 2007 - National Take a Stand Day - Stand Up in September Vigil
From MoveOn.org and Americans Against Escalation in Iraq

This September, after hearing the White House‘s report on the "surge," Congress will decide whether we bring our troops home or spend another year fighting an unwinnable religious civil war. As Congress heads back to DC, we're here to tell them that it's time to take a stand.

We're holding candlelight vigils and Town Hall meetings in cities all over the nation on August 28--National Take a Stand Day--to remember the human cost of the war and urge our members of Congress to stand up in September and end this endless war.

How? Go to MoveOn.org's page to find your local event. Then go.


September 15, 2007 - March on Washington, D.C. - END THE WAR NOW!

From No Cure for That:

[Alternative YouTube Link]

Now do something.

Couples for Christ Splits Up

In a move of irony and symbolism beyond my wildest dreams of a Google search result, the Catholic organization Couples for Christ has split into two distinct entities: one will retain the group's name, the other will be known as Restoration Movement.

There is nothing I can say that could add more humor or insight than the reality of the situation.

Wingnut Blog Bounce: an Anti-Semite Adventure!

There's this guy at Blogs 4 Brownback to which Blue Gal alerted me.

Holy Crap. I want to believe it's a ruse, a gimmick, but sadly I think it's true: this guy's retarded for Brownback like fat kids love cake. But that's not the crazy, of course. He believes Homosexuals are trying to kill him, 70's Comics about bible adventures are the height of comic art, and isn't quite sure Mitt Romney - in all his sophistication and panache - is actually human. (Scroll down further for the argument for the "right kind of Christian" as president. [NOTE: B4B is not part of this Anti-Semite Adventure; his arguments against the offenders begins the journey...now.])

A little farther? Sure: he's got beef with the Politically Correct Apostate who is pulling for - rut roh! - Ron Paul. This anti-Semite mouth-of-foul says that because Ron Paul was not invited to Republican Jewish Coalition Presidential Forum, that makes him the only "authentic" candidate. What happened to the PC part of PCApostate? Be careful should you click on the main site: links to David Duke's official page, "Zionist Watch," and blog posts with "nigger" in the title. Yay!

I went from there through the blogroll to News From the West. More anti-Semitic rhetoric, links to places like Jewwatch, Pat Buchanan, more David Duke.

Blogroll over to The Ugly Truth and...more of the same, including a grand treatise on how Sarah Silverman is the devil for making an absurd joke about the Jews killing Jesus.

I'm done. The childish banter of a seemingly mentally crippled Limbaugh that was so tantalizing in the first two stops became racist and ignorant and tired. Quickly. And that's because of the sad truth to much of the far right wingnut blogging: it's a big ol' circle jerk recycling itself within the bounds of the talking points, whether it be the Jew Hating points or the Reach-around Ron Paul points; tight orbits of shallow planets encircling a sun of misdirected male aggression.

I was, however, surprised to see that they all posted "Fox Attacks: Iran," just like me. Unfortunately, it's because they think the war is a plot for the Jews to rule the world. I, on the other hand, believe FOX, the fourth branch of this particular government, is pandering to the fear-filled fathoms, all of them feeding on our blood in tens and twenties.

Shady Health Care Strikes Again

This was supposed to be the first post of the day. It was a busy day.

You may remember the story I posted about my friend Dave, the veteran, and how he was in dire straits with his lack of health insurance and diabetes management. I guess lack of health insurance and diabetes go together like, well, like Daves.

Dave over at CrackpotPress has been dumped by his health insurance.

We try and stay away from self-indulgent weepy, bloggy crap here… BUT ….

Here's the deal, I've been working freelance for the last year and been paying Cobra.

Well, the jackasses at the COBRA SERVE NATION (from Florida) upped my policy by $15 and changed my due date UP two weeks. I received no notification of this.

When they got the regular payment I had been electronically transferring every month, they said "Whoa! You're late! You're short! You're CANCELLED! Effective immediately." I’m not quoting but that was the feel.

Here's the rub, as many of you know, I am a type-one diabetic. This means I am uninsurable across the board. I have about a month’s worth of insulin left. I am truly lucky to have the cash today to pay uninsured premiums. Today.

Amazingly, after a vitriolic conversation I had with COBRA SERVE NATION on Monday, they did not see things my way. Usuall, my gift of calm, caustic language works wonders. I once got a health insurance company to cough up some of my teeth after threatening to burn down their office. It was a bit “Studio Exec” but it worked. I even threw in the Michael Moore line, to no avail.

In essence, I think I'm fucked.

Sure, I can get an office or barista job or marry someone who has bennies, but all of these things will take at least three months. If I won the lottery today, I still couldn't get healthcare. I need to get it now.

If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

Thanks.

Dave
Dave AT crackpotpress Dot com

I post because I care, and it's the only help I can offer as of now. Ah, would that Kucinich were in office!

If you have any suggestions, leave comments over there.

UPDATE:
There's always CobraServ's Member Services line.
1-800-877-7994

And if you go to Cobra Insurance - Ask Us a Question, click the "General Cobra Questions" link, then click the "Ask Us a Question" link near the top, you can send Cobra an email about why Dave was ripped off.

Democratic Party Thins to Three on Lobbyist Opinions?

Ruth Marcus over at WaPo makes a very good point in her article Democrats' Purity Primary: Edwards is all "not a cotton-pickin' penny from a lobbyist (get off my lawn!)" but makes no clarification that would stop him from taking money directly from the industries by which lobbyists are employed.

Unfortunately for Ruth Marcus, she is wearing blinders with the rest of the sheep; she only mentions Clinton, Obama and Edwards. I'm not saying that a political writer doesn't have the right to whittle down the story to a battle amongst the leaders, but when you decide to write about the Democratic field's views on finance and special interests, leaving out Dennis Kucinich and how he blows everyone else out of the water is like running an executive administration without the people's best interest in mind. Oh, I mean making Kool-Aid without sugar.

Email the Iraqi Government!

If you could email the Iraqi government, what would you say?

Think fast!

Bush says "We'll step down when they step up." Bush says he's "frustrated" with the progress in the government has made in Iraq. Iraq's Prime Minister, Nuri al-Malaki, chastises Bush for commenting that he was frustrated, reportedly stating that Iraq "can find friends elsewhere." Let's hold him to it!

We can hold press conferences, email our representatives, and blog away, but how many of you have actually emailed the Iraqi Interim Government?

I know! Me neither!

According to the official United States Embassy in Baghdad website, the official site of the Iraqi Interim Government is www.iraqigovernment.org (not as catchy as GoDaddy or eBay, but www.neverendingwar.org was taken).

Go to http://www.iraqigovernment.org


But Ricky, what's all them snakey-scribblin'? Don't Arabs speak teh English?
No. Bear with me.

Scroll to the bottom of the page and click the last link on the right side (I highlighted it in red).



Now you will see this relatively familiar form:


Holy crap! What do I do now?

Thanks to Google, I have the answer. The form fields and dropdown are translated in the following way:



And that final button? That's your Submit or Send button.

So now that you've got the Iraqi Interim Government on the horn, what do you say?

That, friends, is up to you. I would be polite but poignant; do your research, and no swears. I know, I know. But it's one more way we can be heard, and we should be heard as an intelligent and informed voice. So get active!

And then wait for the black whisper choppers. Or don't; you won't hear them anyway. Cheers!

Fox Attacks: Iran

Going down the same road we did four years ago...


[Alternative YouTube Link]

Now go to FOX Attacks and act.

Drudge Misquotes, Misleads Article for Anti-Science

Matt Drudge, everyone's favorite, lovable, not-gay wingnut has done it again. I've grown used to the anti-science on the site (Today: it's cold in NYC...and it's August! OMG!!11! [implied: global warming is bullshit]), but this pushes it a little far in my estimation. On the site today:



But in Norway's Moose Population in Trouble for Belching, the actual quote in the article is "Bacteria in a moose's stomach create methane gas which is considered even more destructive to the environment than carbon dioxide gas." The actual methane produced is the same as a car that travels 13,000 km (8077.8 mi) - this being a Dane study, I'm guessing they don't include many excessively-low mpg vehicles. The information I was able to scrape up was that the average person (American) drives about 15,000 miles per year, nearly double the impact of a single moose.

Am I seriously comparing a moose to a car?

Yes, I am. Because the moose/cow methane argument is commonly used to justify all the filth we're dumping into the atmosphere: "Well, if a cow's farts are hurting the environment, then my sweet Escalade's just fine." No sense of balance, of avoidable consequences vs. nature. These are the same people who see that it's cold in NYC today so global warming's a lie, and the same people who will take Drudge at his quote, not read the article, and poop the "moose worse than car" argument as fact over and over.

Thought I'd take the time to let everyone know it's bullshit so when you do run into that person, you're well prepared.

Kucinich campaign is awaiting ABC News explanations for its actions

As a follow-up to a previous post about how ABC/LA Times are unfairly biased, from Kucinich '08:

The Kucinich campaign is still awaiting an official response from ABC News about the unexplained – some have charged "inexplicable" - way in which the network has handled its post-debate online coverage of Ohio Congressman and Democratic Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich over the past few days.

Among the "outrages" that have energized tens of thousands of Kucinich supporters - and even non-supporters - thousands of whom have flooded the ABC News website and other online news sites with comments of protest:

• Congressman Kucinich was apparently deliberately cropped out of a "Politics Page" photo of the candidates.


• Sometime Monday afternoon, after Congressman Kucinich took a commanding lead in ABC's own on-line "Who won the Democratic debate" survey, the survey was dropped from prominence on the website.


• ABC News has not officially reported the results of its online survey.


• After the results of that survey showed Congressman Kucinich winning handily, ABC News, sometime Monday afternoon, replaced the original survey with a second survey asking "Who is winning the Democratic debate?"


• During the early voting Monday afternoon and evening, U.S. Senator Barack Obama was in the lead. By sometime late Monday or early Tuesday morning, Congressman Kucinich regained the lead by a wide margin in this second survey.


• Sometime Tuesday morning, ABC News apparently dropped the second survey from prominence or killed it entirely.


• AND, as every viewer of the nationally televised Sunday Presidential forum is aware, Congressman Kucinich was not given an opportunity to answer a question from moderator George Stephanopoulos until 28 minutes into the program.

The campaign submitted objections and inquiries to ABC News representatives on Monday and Tuesday. ABC News representatives have failed to respond - or even acknowledge - those objections and inquiries.

Stayed tuned for further details.

Strength Through Peace,
Kucinich for President 2008