Bush as Anathema

Think Progress had this vid up:



This is so sad, I don't know if I can even muster any schadenfreude. But it does show one thing: either every world leader is a douchebag who doesn't understand us or this lame duck POTUS has damaged the way the world looks at us and, specifically, him.

I have friends in different countries and have always heard that they love Americans and all things American - except our leadership. Our leadership sucks. I have to agree, and the past 8 years and this video bears that out.

Annual Turkey Cruelty

This is undercover footage of an enormous turkey breeding operation in West Virginia, Avigen. Their website says "The spirit of innovation lives on." And by innovation they mean stomping on turkey heads and slamming them into other objects to kill them.

No boobs or swearing or human suffering, so I guess it's safe for work. Not safe for your mental health or Thanksgiving plans.



I had to turn it off after about a minute.

Funny-Sad in Cincinnati

From the Cincinnati Enquirer:

Homearama seeks less-pricey site

The Greater Cincinnati Home Builders Association has called off plans to hold its 2009 Homearama home show in the upscale neighborhood of Long Cove in Deerfield Township.
...
Hendricks said the lingering credit crunch and sluggish economy made it difficult for some builders and would-be home buyers to get financing at higher prices.

I would also guess that looking at very large, absurdly expensive homes in this economy might prove depressing:

"Hey, honey, let's go look at these homes we can't afford."

"We can't afford our home."

"Oooohhhhhhgh."

Ricky's Wisdom Today - 11/18/08

I almost just typed "09" in the year. Oh, it's coming.

Subhuti said: "If I understand correctly, one who wishes to reach perfect wisdom should study the way things are in the world and should practice the perfections fully and in depth but should not believe them to be ultimately real, nor should he make concepts and doctrines out of them."

The Buddha replied: "Just so, Subhuti. The one who contemplates existence in this way knows the nature of the conditioned and of the unconditioned and makes himself an expert in pointing out the truth to others, both with words and without words."

Subhuti asked: "But is this just for the wise and the intelligent?"

"No, indeed," replied the Buddha. "This is open to all, even to the dull witted and to those who can't pay attention. The door is open to anyone who wants to tread this path--but not to the person who is lazy and indifferent."

-Prajnaparamita

Staying Sane

Times Online have something to be said about staying sane and becoming happy:

Steps to happiness

Connect
Developing relationships with family, friends, colleagues and neighbours will enrich your life and bring you support

Be active
Sports, hobbies such as gardening or dancing, or just a daily stroll will make you feel good and maintain mobility and fitness

Be curious
Noting the beauty of everyday moments as well as the unusual and reflecting on them helps you to appreciate what matters to you

Learn
Fixing a bike, learning an instrument, cooking – the challenge and satisfaction brings fun and confidence

Give
Helping friends and strangers links your happiness to a wider community and is very rewarding

Do you have time to do each of these every day?

Personally and recently, I'm finding myself a mess. I have a theory that if I just meditate every morning, do some sort of exercising or weight training, and smoke a cigarette, I'd be a much happier person.

Daily regimens requested from my readers: how do you stay sane/alive/in-the-moment (am I reaching too far?)?

Jesus Jokes II

A crowd is gathering. A woman is screaming. They are pulling her to a post in the middle of the square, all of them collecting stones.

As they bind her to the post in the middle of the town, Jesus steps up, saying "You without sin cast the first stone."

Silence.

Then, out of the back of the crowd, a stone whirs forward and strikes the woman dead.

Jesus looks around and says "Damn it, Ma, sometimes you really piss me off!"

Jesus Jokes

Jesus walks into an inn, slaps down three spikes and says "Hey, can you put me up for the night?"

The Living Room Paint Parade

As noted on a previous post, here's the process and results of our living room.


We did our best to get the right color



Seriously, we did our best


We had to prime first


Of course, this picture doesn't do justice to the green

Obviously, it started as some sort of golden ideal, but manifested in what we found as "Sour Lime" but after looking at it like to refer to it as "Avocado Delight."

The problem with painting any room is that you have to deal with the light that reflects off that paint and defines that color to your eye. Our living room is not exactly bright, except when the front door is opened. So we have "bright closed," "bright opened," "cloudy closed," and "cloudy opened." For the evening hours - as this was going all the way down the hall - we have incandescent and compact fluorescent bulb light. This, should you ever have a similar experience, creates 6 different versions of what you put on the wall.

I think we hit it right.

Thoughts?

Marian Call - Get This!

Marian Call is a favorite find of mine, a brilliant artist. I purchased her first album online.

And now she's got another album coming out, just for the nerds. That's right: NEEERRRRRRRDDDS!

And by nerds, I mean - or she means - songs that indirectly relate to Firefly and Battlestar Galactica. Totally hot.

You can hear a good example of what she does on her MySpace page. Check out the info on her new album here.

I Got This at IKEA

Not really, just a cute photo of my niece.

This Is Why Organized Religion is Defunct

I swear my grandparents had this print in their apartment

Primarily, Catholicism is an absurd anachronism, a bloated, dying whale, flailing on the beach, an organization that promises the way to God but is, in fact, deterrent in its nature by the inherent structure of hoops and hypocrisy.

Let's look at South Carolina today:

A South Carolina Roman Catholic priest has told his parishioners that they should refrain from receiving Holy Communion if they voted for Barack Obama because the Democratic president-elect supports abortion, and supporting him "constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil."

The Rev. Jay Scott Newman said in a letter distributed Sunday to parishioners at St. Mary's Catholic Church in Greenville that they are putting their souls at risk if they take Holy Communion before doing penance for their vote.

"Our nation has chosen for its chief executive the most radical pro-abortion politician ever to serve in the United States Senate or to run for president," Newman wrote, referring to Obama by his full name, including his middle name of Hussein.

What a fucking douche.

This priest is saying that if you support a guy who has an idea that is against the human-fabricated doctrine of the church, then you're just as bad as him.

Lest we forget that Jesus congregated with liars and thieves. His mission was one of love and compassion, not of structure and pomp, circumstance and silk robes. The Catholic church is running a show where very few take seriously their stance on birth control, many support the pro-choice movement, and just about everyone wonders why the phallocentric mastery doesn't whither a little and allow women to be priests. The last pope invoked infallibility, basically saying that God doesn't want women to be priests.

The Catholic church has lost Jesus, and God only lives in the churches because God lives everywhere. If God could put a sign on the Vatican, it would read: "Under Old Management - Salvation now found elsewhere."

Fielding Oral Sex

Today (names have been changed to protect the absurdly under age):

Little Shambles: There's a rumor going around about Bob and Sally, but I don't think it's true.

Me: Yeah?

LS: Yeah, everyone's talking about it.

Me (throwing out the inevitable): Is it that they're having sex?

LS: No, people are saying Sally gave Bob a blow job and I totally don't think it's true.

Me: Wow. Well remember that if you ever have any questions....

LS: I know, Dad.

Synopsis: My daughter is in 7th grade and today was the first time I've ever heard her say "blow job."

**shivers**

My Favorite Painting in Cincinnati

Earlier this year, I visited the Cincinnati Art Museum for the first time in my life. And I fell in love. With this:


The Midnight Mass by Edward Timothy Hurley

Much more impressive in person, this painting struck me. Done all in deep blues with white highlights, a town in silence, covered in snow. That night quiet, every echo and word and scream muffled by the coating of Winter, I felt peace. And quiet. And sadness. Sadness because the only color aside from the blue/white wash was that church window. The only warmth was the parish.

And I didn't want to be there.

I identified myself with the observer, because - obviously - someone had to paint it. Late, alone, in the cold, and outside. I am that guy. Not because I don't like gatherings or don't like church (not that I do), but because I know inherently that I am not one of those people, in the cold, gathered in the church, at midnight. There is much more important work to do.

I just hope Hurley had a friend or two to drink a late glass of wine with while painting this.

No.

A friend to see it afterwords. The painting was created alone. Quietly. With aid of a heavy coat and the padding of snow.

This is not the Grinch hearing the song of the Whos, but reality: no malice, no anger, but a somber realization that sometimes, just sometimes, it's okay to be alone, to be quiet, and to enjoy it.

Love it.

Disagreeing with Dems - Fairness Takeover

Lest anyone - gods forbid - think I am a left wing mouthpiece, allow me to hit on two things that have been mentioned in the media in the past couple days.

Dems Target Private Retirement Accounts

Democrats in the U.S. House have been conducting hearings on proposals to confiscate workers’ personal retirement accounts — including 401(k)s and IRAs — and convert them to accounts managed by the Social Security Administration.

Triggered by the financial crisis the past two months, the hearings reportedly were meant to stem losses incurred by many workers and retirees whose 401(k) and IRA balances have been shrinking rapidly.

Holy box of fuck, NO! Stop! I'm the furthest thing from right wing, jizz-clappy, Reagan-idol-worship, but this is not right. Ever. Even if all the money drains from every 401(k): wrong.

You see, when you take the initiative to invest in a retirement plan, you are given all the tools you need to make your choices. If you choose to NOT study up or take more risk than you should, then you're at a loss. If you invest in a low-yield, low risk funds that will weather this storm, you're in luck (honestly, if you're not retiring in the next 10 years, leave everything alone - you'll be back on your feet before you know it, or lose everything when the world ends in 2012).

But the Government does not have the right to take private funds and control them. Does anyone else have any other information on this? I'd like to hear it because the story scares the hell out of me.

The Fairness Doctrine

The right's chattering, the left has mentioned bringing it back. Stop. For the love of the hairy balls of Jesus H. Christ, stop this madness.

The fairness doctrine, for those who do not know, was abolished in 1987 as a way to present controversial issues in a "balanced" manner for anyone who has a broadcast license. After it was gone? Hundreds - nay, thousands - of political talk radio shows have been spawned, most of them polarized.

Right now, the right wingnutters hold the scepter of broadcast talk radio. And that's fine. Why? Two reasons:

1. Would you prefer that political douchebags like Limbaugh and Hannity mask their abject disgust towards democrats and gays and, occasionally, colored folk or allow them to dump their bigotry for all to see?
2. Liberals, for the most part, already own the internet. Why? I'm not sure, but it appears that the ingenuity and learning required to become tech-savvy beyond logging onto your AOL email or typing "www.google.com" into MSN's search box eludes these folks. TV is going to go digital and lose millions of viewers to confusion in about 2 months. If that ever happened to radio, goodbye Rush.

So note to democrats: Stop. During this election cycle, the Nazi right pulled a lot of shit to make us sound like government-takeover nutjobs.

Don't prove them right.

Blogging Pause Unpaused - Fam Painting

Looks like I've been out for a couple days here. Time just melts away.

Spent the weekend with my folks who were in town with one of my sisters and my niece. We went across the river to Newport, did some window shopping at the levee, spent way too much at GameWorks - for the kids, of course. Shooting zombies had nothing to do with it. It's like a Dave & Busters, if you're familiar with that franchise, although not as big. But you can still pay $50, convert your credits to tokens, receive tickets as a prize, and purchase $8 of crap for those tickets.

We also spent some time visiting some local restaurants because - seriously - Cincinnati has some damn good eats. We hit the Dilly Cafe (formerly Dilly Deli) and Bella Luna, which will show up on that other blog I manage if I can get my ass in gear to actually write something on it. I've also got to put Seny out there because - damn - that's some maxed-out quality on all levels.

Then the 'rents left and we were left with the big plan: paint. So after a Sunday of prep and Monday and Tuesday of painting, we're done. Painting at least. The saddest part was turning the OMG-My-Parents-Are-Coming pristine cleanliness into a dismantling so we can put it all back together again.

Before/After pictures updated here later today.

[UPDATE: See here for pictures.]

So that's my story. I know. I know. I missed you too.

The Mountain Goats

You ever find out about something - a show or a band - and wonder how it was that you missed this and begin to question your level of competence when it comes to your understanding of popular culture? (Yes, that would include my post on Little Britain.)

I counter that feeling of complete despair and shame by - instead of burying it deep inside and hiding in the corner of my room in the dark - tearing it wide open for the whole internet to see.

The Mountain Goats - This Year


I would like to thank Dino Stamatopoulos and 44 days of Moral Orel for bringing me to the light.

We Did It!

Our 44th President of the United States

I'm elated. Excited. Floating. Tired. Still on the tail end of a mild hangover. After the thrill of yesterday, after an emotional draining, today is a little low, held up by the "pinch me" reality that we got out the word we got involved and for some, they simply got out and voted. America has spoken. And I am proud.

And the rest of the world breathes a sigh of relief that in January, the USA will stop being such a dick.

Speaking of which, Bush had some interesting words of congratulations for Obama:

What an awesome night for you, your family and your supporters.

You are about to go on one of the great journeys of life. Congratulations and go enjoy yourself.

Yes, one of those great journeys of life that we all --wait. I guess it's one of those great journeys of life that only 43 people in the history of the world have gone on? Really; what the hell is he talking about? I will miss that big lug, if only for the comic relief.

Amanda Palmer "Oasis" Music Video - Dedicated To Sarah Palin

Delicious.

Vote!

h/t C&L

Election Day: Spot the Dirty Tricks

From the Obama Campaign:



Keep your eyes open. Ask questions. Don't accept fleecing. And look out for everyone. Just because it's someone else getting harassed by questionable people doesn't mean you don't need to speak up. Hell, even though I'm not expecting a lot of shenanigans in my polling place, I'm taking a camera and anything odd will get flash-photography. Protect your right and the rights of others.

Ignore the polls and make your voice heard. Vote. If it takes four hours, vote. If you have to get up at 5:30am, vote. If you have to argue or question then get in there, do your battle, and vote!

And, no, I don't care who you are voting for, though I'd hope you'd vote for Obama. But everyone has that right. Every citizen over 18 who is not a felon: VOTE!

Republicans and Blocking the Vote - a Couple Days Early

From this weekend:

Another day, another Republican attempt at suppressing the vote.

Because of the incredible interest and enthusiasm for early voting we're experiencing here in Ohio, Democrats called an official meeting yesterday to extend the hours for early voting in Franklin County [Columbus Area]. But two Republican members of the board -- Doug Preisse and Michael Colley -- refused to show up for the meeting, blocking the effort to help people vote.

Listen to the right wing on the radio, on the television, and they're constantly dismissing any idea that Republicans have any desire to suppress the vote. And then you look at their fucking deplorable actions. They laugh when we say they can be racist and wonder why all the African Americans aren't flocking to the right, yet the voting changes and restrictions and caging and scare tactics overwhelmingly disenfranchise minorities.

To the Republicans: this election is not about partisanship but about facilitating the largest voter turnout in a generation, allowing people to have a voice in unprecedented numbers. Putting up the wall now and on Election Day is exactly the behavior that will knock your ass out of the political arena. This time, there are a lot more people to piss off. And we will notice.

Real Life Parenting - Trannies

Little Shambles: You know X's mom is a lesbian?
Me: Yeah, you kind of told me that twenty times ago.
LS: Her mom's got a boyfriend.
Me: Hu-huh?
LS: He's one of those trans-genders, so he's really a lady.
Me: Uh-huh.

It only hit me later: is he really a male transing to female or a female transing to male?

Either way, it doesn't matter, and I'm kind of proud; my daughter didn't freak the hell out and raise an alarm. She just mentioned it casually. And I guess that makes me proud not just of her but of myself and Mrs. Shambles; we've fostered a open comfort level that allows our daughter to talk about trans-sex individuals without freakout "they're the devil" or other hate language.

Whew! I need a beer. Oh, there you are!

To: Obama and Democrat Fools

From Flickr via Brent-who-still-refuses-to-start-a-blog:


Joe the Plumber Envy
Click for whole 4x4 experience

Even some of the pickup truck crew for McCain are already conceding the election - but not without unfounded fear and a little pout!

Libby Dole: Hatin' n Lyin' on Kay Hagan

Having spent a few years in North Carolina, I almost puked when I saw this video:



Even if I had not spent any time in North Carolina, I would have almost puked.

The implication, obviously, is that Kay Hagan is an atheist and that is her voice at the end of the commercial.

So Hagan asked Dole to pull the offensive ad and Libby said "go pound salt." And now Kay Hagan is filing suit to have the ad forcibly removed: defamation of character, et. al. And good for her. Perhaps she could ad "socking Libby Dole in the kisser" to the resolution of the suit.

When conservatives conflate stories and imply false charges, it's "everything is factual," but if liberals skew the smallest detail: "Absurdist fabulist socialist Marxist Communist Nazi tofu-eating propaganda!"

I cannot wait to see the egg on the face of every Fox News troll next Wednesday.

[Side note: maybe it's the visual or a consistency issue, but the phrase "egg on the face" always reminded me of blowjob aftermath in a cheap porno. Anyone else?]

[Side note 2: did I just only now add hypocrisy as a label? Think it would come up more often...]

Obamercial = Obama-tastic!

If you missed it or chose not to watch it, do yourself a favor and hit that embedded video below.



It was well-produced, well-balanced, and well-spoken. I'm guessing it brought some folks down off the fence last night. I cannot imagine even the staunchest McCain supporter being at least temporarily aback by the video. Unless they were only half-watching while plotting to kill black people. Then maybe not so much.

Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’

Cindy McCain Claims She2019s 2018Just Like Any Other Female Human2019

Ricky's Wisdom Today, 10/29/08

If humanism were right in declaring that man is born to be happy, he would not be born to die.

- Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Harvard Address

Palin Horror Pumpkin Show

Holy shit!



Political Pumpkins via C&L.

Did anyone ever see Pumpkin with Christian Ricci? Good damn movie.

6 Days to GO

I think that during the next six days, everyone better hold onto their colostomy bags.

Every bit of filth and fear and fakery will be flowing down the McCain pike as the desperation and desertion set in. McCain/Palin infighting, polls flying in Obama's favor, and this morning: McCain struggling in his home state of Arizona.

Election night will probably require a bottle of Jameson.

I'm already succumbing to a giddy nervousness, an excitement of anticipatory success mixed with a fear that the excitement of anticipatory success will turn to assumption and keep people home next Tuesday.

"I got that 'excited/scared' feeling. Like 98% excited, 2% scared. Or maybe it's more - It could be two - it could be 98% scared, 2% excited but that's what makes it so intense, it's so - confused. I can't really figure it out."



I saw a clip yesterday with a large bus pulling into an arena with McCain waving, the "Straight Talk Express" sign taped to the front, lest you forget. The bus was moving more slowly than the Popemobile, slower than a man using a walker.

Is this interpretation of the word "express" helping him?

Michelle Obama, Pat Buchanan, SNL

Pat Buchanan, getting all sanctimonious, spews forth drivel in asking What if 'SNL' mocked Michelle Obama?

Oh noes! They're making fun of teh Palin!

And then Sarah Palin shows up on SNL and in doing so, validates them, invalidating Buchanan's whiny argument before it was even made.

Lucky for Pat Buchanan, an answer to his question started making its rounds today:

A "Saturday Night Live" alum could be coming back to spoof Michelle Obama!

The hilarious Maya Rudolph is said to be working on her impersonation of America's potential First Lady.

The SNL folks tell ET there's "no official confirmation" but her appearance is "likely."

So there ya go, Pat. Quit yer bitchin'.

In Short: Palin's Makeup Artist

From Huffington:

If Palin's $150,000 shopping spree had Republicans disgusted, then the report that her makeup stylist cost $22,800 for the first two weeks of October should have them livid. The stylist, Amy Strozzi, was apparently paid more than any other McCain staffer during that period.

What the hell are they doing over there?

Ashley Todd is a Damned Liar

Yesterday, if you missed it, brought us news of Ashley Todd, originally from Texas, who was volunteering for McCain in Pittsburgh. Something about getting money from an ATM, a 6'4" black man, her McCain bumper sticker, him taking her money and carving a B on her face for "Barack" and I guess he grabbed her tit too.

This is Ashley Todd after the "incident:"



As soon as I heard this story, my initial reaction was Fuckin' morons on both sides. And then, after about 30 seconds of stewing: This is a total hoax.

First off, if you have not noticed, Ashley's B is backwards, as though she scratched up her face in the mirror without the requisite intelligence pertaining to the magical properties of mirrors. And why "B" when "O" is the graphic symbol associated with Obama and his campaign?

Then the police noted she was inconsistent in her story. Then they noticed she was absent from the ATM security tape. Then they gave her a polygraph test.

AP, you're up:

PITTSBURGH (AP) — Pittsburgh police say a McCain campaign volunteer made up a story of being robbed, pinned to the ground and having the letter "B" scratched on her face in a politically inspired attack.

Maurita Bryant, the assistant chief of the police department's investigations division, says 20-year-old Ashley Todd is being charged with making a false report to police.

Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car.

Because the McCain camp needs a little more negative press about race. Schadenfreude is yummy.

McCain Backer > Craigslist > Creative Services

It has since been removed, but thanks to Jen, I captured it in time:



It reads:

Ill be the first in line in a fight socialism melitia go usa

Why are the loudest voices the most ignorant?

Another nod to Idiots For McCain. Or for Obama. Or whatever the fuck he's saying.

ACORN Hate

Good morning. Ready for hate?

This is a link to ACORN's answering machine messages.

These are McCain's Supporters.

Click and do not drink any liquids while listening. You may just spit through your nose and then vomit and then punch the vomit telephone and then tear out to scream at your local RNC office, flinging fist/phone vomit on the person you speak with.

And, sadly, I keep hearing Cincinnati and the 513 area code. I only do what I can here; ignorance permeates the air in Southwestern Ohio. But I must also say that the Obama lawn signs are almost as prevalent as McCain. There is hope.

I fear for Barack Obama when he's elected in 12 days.

I fear for America.

Sheep Go to Heaven, Goats Go to Hell

Rep. Virgina Foxx spoke about anti-American energy. "We're gonna pretty soon separate the sheep and the goats." Huh?



One of my favorite bands, Cake, has a lovely song about just this:

The Hackabilly Vote

DVICE has a great article/app that allows you to click on your state and see exactly how susceptible to hacking those voting machines that you'll be seeing on November 4th are.

DVICE link above: article. Click picture for app.



Ohio? Not so good.

How does your state fare?

Wednesday's McCain, Republican Hate

Angry, stifled woman afraid of teh blacks

From Alamogordo:

ALBUQUERQUE The chairwoman of an Otero County Republican women's group on Tuesday defended a letter to the editor in which she wrote, "I believe Muslims are our enemies."

Marcia Stirman, a 56-year-old interior decorator, also called Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama "a Muslim socialist."

A national Islamic group expressed outrage over Stirman's letter and called on state and national Republican Party officials to repudiate the publication of "anti-Muslim comments."

"Because these hate-filled remarks were made by a prominent Republican, it is incumbent on state and national GOP officials to repudiate her divisive and intolerant views," said Nihad Awad, executive director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations.

Officials with the Republican Party of New Mexico had no immediate comment.

The letter ran Tuesday in the Alamogordo Daily News. It was titled "Why I'm a Republican" and listed 16 reasons for her party affiliation.

The list ends with Stirman saying Obama is "a Muslim socialist." She also wrote, "I believe war is a fact of life and we should always win."

McCain and the Lollipop Guild

I promised a Photoshop.

More Terrorism? How Low can John Go?

From last week, but caught this at Huffington (hard to keep up with all the RNC's desperate measures). This mailer went out last week from the RNC:





In case you skimmed that first image, it is a photograph of a plane in front of an airport terminal (luggage gives it away, presents plausible deniability), so framed to appear as though it is about to crash into a building, viewed from inside, people in silhouette, imagery obviously composed to evoke 9/11 and - paired with the inside - imply that Obama supports the 9/11 terrorists.

What the fuck?

John McCain's response when asked if he agreed with this mailer?

"Absolutely."



John McCain has gone from respectable but un-electable to not-so-respectable adulterer to angry, hateful war-monger to today's new low rating of sad, sorry, desperate, despicable human being. Can we get worse? Is the next step killing Americans and framing Obama?

Would you be okay with this if you'd just given the RNC some cash?

The upside, of course, is that it proves McCain is a liar about running a respectable campaign while wasting time and money on hate which, according to all his own polling, is not what anyone wants to hear. Pull up the boots and keep digging, asshole.

The Wilkow Arguments

Yes, still more on Andrew Wilkow.

I originally wrote, after getting Sirius Radio, about someone I'd never heard about before: Andrew Wilkow. Why? He's a right-wing nutter and drives me insane some days. What do I mean by "some days?" I listen to him as long as I can stand because he's got a unique perspective, bases his many arguments in the founding documents of our country, and I respect his opinion even if I don't agree with it. Most of the time.

I'm still getting comments on my original post (most anonymous right-wing cowards with bad grammar skills), and one came through the other day that needed notice:

"How can you say Rush or Wilkow make things up?"

Rush Limbaugh makes shit up all the damned time, misappropriates stats to bounce his opinions, and cherry-picks quotes with inferences designed to fire up his ignorant, worshipful base. Talk about messianic. There are dozens of sites that'll give you a rundown; this isn't one of them.

But I figured Andrew deserved a little more. So I specifically listened to see if anything didn't quite jive. And, damn, shit just didn't jive.

It started with Andrew stating that the top three leading causes of death in America were smoking-related cancer, obesity, and promiscuous sex ("AIDS-related death" is what he said). While I have no reason to argue with the smoking-related cancer (and other problems associated with it) and obesity (and problems associated with it), but promiscuous sex?

I looked at the primary avoidable causes of death in America and compiled a list of references from the CDC, Vandenberg Air Force Base, and The Mayo Clinic.

They all list things like heart disease, cancer, stroke, accidents, flu, Alzheimer's, diabetes, and septicemia.

Where does that gay AIDS sex come in? It doesn't. If he was citing something, I could not find it, and everything that could be found wasn't even close. This would be one of those "made up" things, skewered truth to twist his argument.

But what was the argument? It was an argument against Universal, socialized medicine. Unfortunately for Andrew, Barack Obama's health care plan is not "Universal health care" as he repeatedly claimed.

The argument itself centered around how wrong the socialism aspect of health care is if someone who smokes or is obese or has promiscuous sex and taxes the system unfairly because everyone is paying into the same system but some people are getting more out of it. That, encapsulated, makes a bit of sense.

But where does the argument end when it comes to practical applications in a "perfect," capitalist-driven medical society? Well, kind of in the suck state it's in now: controlled by an insurance collusion where competition is not defined by gaining the most customers, but by cutting costs, dropping risk, and leaving even those with insurance unable to get the treatment they may need. We've got differences in cost for people who smoke and some creeping up for obesity. Next comes labs - high cholesterol, diabetes, etc. Then DNA. And then the insurance companies raise and raise and raise rates at will, cite whatever they want, and are unaccountable to anyone. Why? The Great Right Wing Deregulation Machine.

That's no way to keep people healthy. Our form of health care in America is a collapsing disaster. And socializing it could only be a good thing.

Why not? Every government employee is currently receiving socialized, government-controlled health care. Personally, I pay property taxes based on the value of my home and have equal access to services such as fire and police. Do they take into account whether or not I don't lock my doors or have a gas stove or an open fireplace or smoke in my house, all things that increase the chances of me requiring those services? Nope. Why? We live in a society where parts of it are already socialized. And those parts work pretty damned well.

And as for socialism, The Republican Vice Presidential candidate is governor of a state that holds socialized, collective control of the oil in the state and every resident gets a check cut by the state. Now that's socialism.


One final note on the show. Andrew Wilkow, railing against the red herring that is conservative ACORN scare tactics, asked "Why would you have to file one fake ballot?" What follows are actual facts:
- No one is committing voting fraud. That happens when you vote. Hence the name.
- No one is submitting fake ballots. See above.
- Employees of ACORN are not perpetuating an organized attack at the heart of democracy; they are idiots trying to pad their pockets, making this employee fraud.
- ACORN is the victim of this fraud.
- Not one fictional person, including Mickey Mouse, will show up to vote on November 4th because they do not exist in this reality, nor would they have a valid ID to match their fictional address.
- Federal law states that every voter registration collected must be submitted, even if it appears fraudulent.

This is a non-issue, and the fact that Andrew Wilkow took this tack, wielded the purposefully-confused righty rhetoric designed to grow fear, well that makes him nothing more than a tool on this topic, an appendage of the Republican Terror Machine. And while this example - mixing up the language, turning a non-issue into a scare tactic - is not him making things up, if he's as smart and "intellectual" as he says he is, he should know better. And if he does, then he's purposefully lying. And that's even worse.

Obama to be Tested. No Shit.

So Biden says something not just reasonable, but completely and utterly true: Barack Obama will be tested as President of the United States.

Why is that true? Because every POTUS is challenged. W was challenged by September 11, 2001 (and unlocking the oval office). If McCain were to be elected, he, too, would face challenges.

But McCain, struggling so hard, tugs at the hem of America's dress like a little dandy in a sailor suit, holding a lollipop, shouting "Mom, Maaaaam! Barack's not ready. Did you see that; even Joe said so, that he'll be tested. See Mom, I tolja so. I tolja. Barack's not ready. Mom! Are you listening? And Colin only likes black people too, Mom."

What an ass. Photoshop coming on this one.

Linktastica! Returns! Yay!

I finally took the three minutes to put together my famous blogroll, Linktastica! with the addition of Jennyfur's Sketchbook & Oddities, a delicious compliment of original art and photography from a friend and amazingly talented woman.

Sorry it's not the fancy blog-following list Blogger has that we can set up; when I've got an hour to load each URL individually, I'll get right on that, or: Hey Blogger! How about a bulk upload?!

Obama Bucks

Happy Monday; here's your daily taste of Republican racism.

Diane Fedele, the president of the Republican women's club in San Bernardino County, came up with "Obama Bucks," a representation of what food stamps would look like if Obama was elected:



LA Times got some surprising words from Diane:

"If I was racist, I would have looked at it through racist eyes," she said. "I am not racist, which is why it probably didn't register."

Club member Kristina Sandoval agreed.

"None of us are racists," she said.

The use of watermelon, ribs and fried chicken was innocent, she said.

"Everyone eats those foods, it's not a racial thing."

Diane and Kristina are either lying or stupid. I suspect they are lying. And stupid.

Luckily, the result of this stunt is only to fire up Democrats and destabilize any argument from the Republicans that "hey, we're not racists."

It's regression like this - oh, and Colin Powell's endorsement of Obama (YAY!)- that will keep the momentum up in these last two weeks and could win us the election.

Note I said "could." This is not over until November 5th. Don't get complacent; don't get comfortable; if you haven't voted early, get off your ass on the 4th and make a couple marks on a piece of paper for yourself, for America.

It will matter.

A Palin Wrap-Up

Go here:Not My Gal. Follow every link, especially the Palin as President one, and watch every video.

It will make your day, probably your weekend.

Quick Note on the New Header

A great heap of thanks to those who have commented on the header - all with support.

Just in case anyone thinks I'm a little boy drinking a beer, I grabbed the image on the left of the header from Francesco Mazzola (Parmigianino), an Italian mannerist painter. This is called Self-portrait in a Convex Mirror(c.1524). (Thanks again Jen!)

I Photoshopped in the beer and flag.

Ironically, I knew none of this when I grabbed the image - I just liked it - and it turns out that Parmigianino means "the little one from Parma." I am 5'7" and grew up in Parma, OH.

Sometimes synchronicity is frightening.

BUNNY!

Because after all the sad and all the bullshit and all the stress this week, a giant pink bunny is exactly what we all need. Rock it out Daily Mail.



Hey, that bunny looks pretty big.

How big is it?



Wow, that looks pretty big. Seriously; I'm not an albatross. How big is the damn thing?



Oh, so that's the bottom of one of the feet with the creators.

Holy shit.

A giant pink rabbit has been created in the Alps that can be seen from space.

Visitors are encouraged by those who made it to climb all over the 200ft toy sculpture and even sleep on it.

But the Austrian art collective who created the bunny were amazed to find that it is so large the rabbit can be seen from space via the Google Earth programme.

It is made of soft, waterproof, materials and stuffed with straw to make it comfortable to rest on.
...
Wolfgang Gantner of the Vienna-based art group, Gelitin, said: 'It's supposed to make you feel small, like Gulliver. You walk around it and you can't help but smile.

'We like to see hikers climb up the bunny's 20ft sides and relax on his belly.'
...
[The sign next to it] reads: 'Behind a hill, as if knitted by giant grandmothers, lies this vast rabbit, to make you feel as small as a daisy.'

I wanna nap on the big bunny too.

Kentucky Locks Up Kid for "Terroristic" Short Story

You're just going to get a straight story on this one. I've read this story 3 times and I think I get angrier every time. Fire it up in the comments. Thanks Jen!

From LEX-18:

A George Rogers Clark High School junior arrested Tuesday for making terrorist threats told LEX 18 News Thursday that the "writings" that got him arrested are being taken out of context.

Winchester police say William Poole, 18, was taken into custody Tuesday morning. Investigators say they discovered materials at Poole's home that outline possible acts of violence aimed at students, teachers, and police.

Poole told LEX 18 that the whole incident is a big misunderstanding. He claims that what his grandparents found in his journal and turned into police was a short story he wrote for English class.

"My story is based on fiction," said Poole, who faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge. "It's a fake story. I made it up. I've been working on one of my short stories, (and) the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies."

Even so, police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill.

Poole disputes that he was threatening anyone.

"It didn't mention nobody who lives in Clark County, didn't mention (George Rogers Clark High School), didn't mention no principal or cops, nothing,"
said Poole. "Half the people at high school know me. They know I'm not that stupid, that crazy."

On Thursday, a judge raised Poole's bond from one to five thousand dollars after prosecutors requested it, citing the seriousness of the charge.

Poole is being held at the Clark County Detention Center.

Joe the Plumber Collapses McCain's Good Leg

If you watched the last debate, you are more than aware of St. Joe the Plumber, the Hail Mary that John McCain just tossed out there.

It was intercepted.

McCain could've gained some points on this if Joe buried himself after lying to Obama. But he wanted his 15 minutes.

He owes back taxes. He is not a licensed plumber. And it turns out that Wurzelbacher makes less than $250,000 a year, which means he would receive a tax cut if Obama were elected president.

As radio talk show host Ed Schultz just said, Joe is the "poster child for a low-information voter."

To paraphrase Stephen Colbert, Joe didn't realize that during your 15 minutes of fame, 12 of that is a media anal probe.

UPDATE: Joe's also apparently a cousin of Charles Keating’s son-in-law.

Al Jazeera in Ohio - More Hate

At a Palin rally in St. Clairsville, Ohio, Raw Story reports, Al-Jazeera, arguably one of the best news organizations in the world, got some very open footage of what many people think of as stereotypical Ohio: Obama, Muslim, negro, etc.

In defense of educated, civilized Ohioans everywhere, St. Clairsville is out in the sticks. But it's still embarrassing.

Time to Get Some Head

Hey, y'all. New header here. Critiques and/or compliments are welcome.

And how about that "follow" bit to the right? If you read regularly, or occasionally, hit me up. I love you all.

McCain Obama Futzfest, a.k.a. The Debate

I have already posted this at All Things Democrat, but it was so delicious, I had to post it here too. Please visit ATD and add your own wonderful feelings about, well, everything.

Here we go:

• At the start, you could tell McCain was trying so damn hard to look at Obama, but succeeded only in mildly twitching while glancing at his chin and blinking like it was breathing. No MIB reference here. Seriously.


• McCain's grip on the pen in the beginning was for dear life, succeeding in an apparent homage to Bob Dole.


• Yes, John, Ireland only has 11% income tax, but they also have what's called a Value Added Tax or VAT, that shimmies just North of 20%, and added into the cost of the purchase of almost all goods. I swear he's getting his economic talking points from the cardboard side of a Happy Meal Box.


• McCain has a close tie to Palin's minister's hunted witch in Kenya, because his plan is to magically increase home values while keeping people who seriously can't afford them in them. No, no, no. Do not ask how.


• McCain's "If you wanted to run against Bush..." moment: Awwww! No you din'n, oh no you din'n! Obama, you jus got served!


• Obama's reply: Sorry - I get Bush all confused wit his Toadie up in here. Damn.


• Obama on McCain's claim on Obama's tax plan: "even Fox news disputes it." Cue the McCain O face. Wha-what?


• Obama referenced a "vigorous debate like we're having tonight." Was he watching the same snoozer I was? The only thing keeping me awake was the residual meth McCain smoked before going on stage.


• Obama takes issue with people yelling "Kill him!" and McCain retorts that he greatly respects his supporters. Ooh...sna...p?


• In particular, I would like to hear more about the t-shirt that John McCain finds so offensive. Really, I do.


• And he wasn't going to do it - you could tell. Hesitation galore. Then McCain pulled that nervous, knot-in-the-stomach, I've got to ask out my Jr. High sweetheart or they'll all make fun of me energy out of his pristine bowels and whipped out his Ayers and ACORNs.


• Obama promptly cut them off, successfully nailing the issues, dead, to the floor for anyone who isn't a right wing nut job still suckling the Hannity/Limbaugh teat.


• Obama went all subtly presumptive on us, talking about the connections and people who "will surround me in the White House." I kinda liked it.


• Did McCain just call Palin a "bresh of flesh air?" That's kinda sexy in an old man / MILF low-budget internet porno kind of way. Wait. No. It's not.


• McCain: "Iraq is united."
  Ricky: What planet does he live on?
  Mrs. Shambles: He lives on Planet Goiter.


• McCain, unprompted, shouted "Climate change!" and after the question was asked, discussed Obama's unilateral renegotiation of NAFTA with Canada. I'm like a chocoholic but with politics (and booze), but this one: WTF?


• Love aside for a moment, Obama has gotten much better at knocking out the "um"s but still has this mental work pause going on sometimes, where you move with the flow and (pause, hold your breath) there it is and pause again and okay. He'll have 8 years to work on it, I guess.


• Dear John: don't push the "drill now" line when oil closed just over $70 a barrel because even at lowered prices no one can afford the sh*t.


• McCain to Obama on south of the border: "Maybe you oughta travel down there." Dick.


• McCain should've known better from back in the day when Giuliani was openly laughing at Ron Paul: all mics all the time. At least twice there was an impromptu, minor disruption of Obama's voice by some sort of Snuffleupagus half-snore, an attempt to clean out something obviously old and clogged and - dude, gross!


• This wasn't necessarily related directly to the debate, but I love how conservatives are simultaneously shouting "Buy American" and touting that WalMart is the pinnacle of capitalism. Palin creating a(n obviously staged) hullabaloo buying diapers from China does not bode well for America or American jobs.


• After seeing McCain's stiff thumbs repeatedly, noting McCain was a POW and saying a little prayer for his family, Mrs. Shambles noted "You know Cindy loves his thumb."


• I liked how Obama kept talking into the camera, talking to the people. That was nice.


• I didn't like how when McCain attempted to talk into the camera, his gaze was shifty and he didn't stick with it. I'm glad Little Shambles wasn't up; she would've had nightmares.


• Leave Britney - I mean: leave Joe the Plumber ALONE!


• McCain: How much you gonna charge Joe the plumber, heh, heh?
  Obama: Fee is zero.
  Cue second McCain O face, frantic scribbling: Beat Shmooby's ASS for not saying anything.


• I made up Shmooby.


• McCain: "except for those people who have the gold-plated Cadillac insurance policies that have to do with cosmetic surgery and transplants and all of those kinds of things." Gold? Cadillac? I do believe we're race-baiting again. Again.


• Paraphrase of McCain's response to a SCOTUS litmus test: I would not impose any litmus test, but do not believe anyone qualified would agree with Roe vs. Wade. Perhaps he hasn't gotten to McDonald's this week to get the Established Law Happy Meal.


• McCain, for the first time I've ever heard, proposed "Troops to Teachers." Really? Bring someone from a war theatre and plant them in the classroom, uncertified? Aren't we discussing the hard-line qualifications that teachers must meet?


• Note for both candidates: Neither one of you f*c*ers has ever been a teacher. Bad teachers can be fixed if they want it. Why? Bad teachers aren't bad teachers on purpose (although I suspect some may have gotten lazy and some people are just retarded). In NC, you get into the biz at $25K a year and dump about 10% of that back into your students, 7% into a mandatory state retirement plan. Add extra college classes, conferences, continuing education, National Board Certification. Nobody gets into teaching because of the money, but because they believe they can help the future of America. So it's the teachers and the military: Help change the future and get paid sh*t. I'm sure I'm missing a few vocations - replies welcome. Okay, I'm done.


• John McCain referenced Autism twice when talking about Sarah Palin's son, Trig. Was he afraid to say the word "retarded" or "handicapped?"


• In closing, McCain said to Barack "Good to be with you...again." Can you not even say his name? Was "you negro" lingering in your brain so strongly that you couldn't continue the sentence? Might as well have reprised "That One."


• Post-Coitus: McCain's "blah" moment in trying to journey to the other side of the table. This was my favorite moment of the debate and reminded me of that one relative at a family reunion - let's call him Uncle John - who is always just a dick. Then one day, either by Aunt Cindy's nagging or a spontaneous, genuine effort to not be a dick, Uncle John shows up and he's smiling, and he chuckles, and he even sticks out his tongue in this goofy show of exasperation. But something's off. He twitches a little. See, Uncle John has spent so much of his life being a dick that when he tries to to be genuinely good-natured, it just comes across as a socially awkward, fabricated facade that, ultimately, only serves to amplify the fact that Uncle John will never be anything but a dick.

CDC: OMG We Just Watched the Internets!

Apparently a bunch of kids all over America are car surfing and video taping it and posting it to YouTube (hey retards, that's proof). And some kid got hurt and his mom works at the CDC and they all took a break over there and did a working lunch on Betty's computer - cause her internet isn't so slow - and watched the YouTube.

And they freaked the fuck out and issued a press release: "OMG guyz, hay the ridn outsid carz i's dangers!"

Quick question for the CDC:



Where the fuck were you in 1985 when Michael J. Fox showed us exactly how cool this could be?

Partnership for a McCain-Free White House

Your folks may be engaging in risky behavior. Talk to your parents about McCain. Yes. It's that important. From MoveOn.org

La Pequena Sarah Palin!

This will make your day. All thanks to Monkey.

Obama McCain Debate - End Retch!

No more Red Bull before public appearances. Please.

So last night.

Yeah.

McCain v.3.9.00.21 was interesting.

What did we learn? That McCain's abnormally stiff thumbs (he was a P.O.W., you know), must be a favorite of Cindy's, and that John's jaw harbors a parasitic twin.

In the picture above, it's the very end of the debate, McCain actually shook Obama's hand - frantically and vigorously - and is bouncing back and forth like a pinball to figure out how to get to the other side of a relatively small table in order to shake Bob Schieffer's hand. My guess: Adderall and three Jäger-Bombs. The freeze frame will probably be spun by the right as a "good-natured show of exasperation."

This was my favorite moment of the debate and reminded me of that one relative at a family reunion - let's call him Uncle John - who is always just a dick. Then one day, either by Aunt Cindy's nagging or a spontaneous, genuine effort to not be a dick, Uncle John shows up and he's smiling, and he chuckles, and he even sticks out his tongue in this goofy show of exasperation. But something's off. He twitches a little. See, Uncle John has spent so much of his life being a dick that when he tries to to be genuinely good-natured, it just comes across as a socially awkward, fabricated facade that, ultimately, only serves to amplify the fact that Uncle John will never be anything but a dick.

And if you missed it, last night's unidentifiable noise was the death rattle of the McCain campaign.

Full point-by-point will appear at All Things Democrat later today.

Skylar's Art of Five

My niece, Skylar, recently turned 5. She's always handing out drawings, but for some reason I had to talk her into letting me keep this one.

Captions requested as I can't quite get my head around the Gestalt of the thing.

Computer Says No

Late on this bus again. How did I miss Little Britain?

Blogger Template Upgrade - Wha-what?

I've done some things in the past 2 years to personalize my blog space, and then they go all "you've gotta upgrade!" on me.

So today I upgrade, which of course means I'll lose many of my mods. Luckily, I'm due for a revamping, and will probably add a new header, clean up the look from this tired old polka-dotted template. Also, being a web developer, it doesn't make me nervous, just frustrated at the amount of time I'm going to have to spend. But I want to include a follower widget, link to my twitter, etc.

It'll be better for all of us.

So if shit gets flooby in the next few hours, don't freak. It'll be okay. Soon.

And don't forget to do that follow thing: all the cool kids are.

More McCain/Palin Supporter Racism

Almost 3 minutes of stomach-churning, racist, ignorance. Johnstown, PA Palin rally.

T-Shirt Hell: Happy Shirts!

It's T-Shirt Hell. What the fuck did you expect?

In Case Youse Forgots: Obama is a Muslim

There is a large faction of nutters out there who - despite every credible resource - believe Barack Obama was born in Kenya and is not an American Citizen. If you found the McCain Palin mob disturbing, I pulled this mentally challenged rant off an "Invade Iran" blog (no link, bitches!) that was hosting a version of the "Obama is Not American" video:

This is absolutely unbelievable! Everyone is running around trying to prove that this Muslim is NOT an American citizen. We don't have to prove he is not an American citizen damn it! This sorry SOB and the Democratic party have got to prove THAT HE IS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!!! Mr. Berg has gone the extra mile...AND THEN SOME...to prove that Obama is NOT an American Citizen and therefore not eligible to run for President of The United States of America because of the fraud perpetrated on American Citizens who seem hell bent on letting this TROJAN HORSE march right into our White House with the Koran under his arm, burn our flag, destroy our bibles, tramp on our constitution and aid and abed the One World Order in their quest to destroy our country! This man went to the same schools that our worst enemies attended. He boldly acknowledges friendships with terrorists that wish to destroy our Nation and everything it represents. He repeats over and over again that he represents "Change". Hell yes he does! He intends to change our country into a Global melting pot under the Kuran! He keeps repeating that "our" economy is a "Global Problem requiring Global solutions" and his followers just keep chanting "Change! Change! Change!...instead of reading between the lines!" like ignorant children following the pied piper they march right along behind the biggest lie ever perpetrated on Americans! The man is evil incarnate people! Both he and the Democratic party refused to produce the 3 documents Berg has repeatedly requested and which any of you could easily produce! Instead he and the Democratic Party request and are provided legal immunity by the Court!They have been told they do not HAVE to produce them... Fine! But how does not "having" to produce them prove that the man IS an American Citizen? To the contrary, does that action not at least suggest that the documents CANNOT be produced because the do not exist? Ergo...the man cannot or will not prove he is an American Citizen and therefore is NOT elligible for either the office of the Senate or the Presidency of the United States of America!!!
...So file suit against the Democratic party forcing them to either provide a legitimate replacement or concede the election to the Republican candidate! Are there guns to everyones heads in the news media?
Why does Bill O'Reilly insist the man IS an American Citizen without offering more proof than the forged Birth Certificate posted on Obama's web sited? !!! This is your country people...are you just going to turn it over to a Muslim?
Good God in Heaven!...Please help us!

Holy Cocksmoke, the Right's Diggin' DEEP!

I collect the email releases from Human Events so you don't have to. Sometimes it's a stock tip from Ann Coulter, sometimes a sweet letter from Old man Gingrich, and sometimes a fringe doctor pushing the real cure to high cholesterol.

And sometimes it blows my fucking mind.

Just in: Obama is linked to 9/11 terrorists.

Obama's Plan: Mohamed Atta Gets His Driver's License

Did you know that Mohamed Atta, the 9/11 ring leader, had a valid Florida driver's license?

Did you know 13 of the 19 hijackers had obtained valid driver's licenses? Armed with these licenses, eight of the hijackers even registered to vote!

Here is the shocking fact: Obama strongly supports giving illegal aliens in America driver's licenses.

He said as much during two Democratic debates earlier this year.

The head of Homeland Security said such thinking was dangerous for national security.
...
We have no doubt that, as president, Obama will also champion this radical plan.

With Osama bin Laden still at large, with al-Qaida promising "spectacular" attacks on the U.S homeland, with the threat of them using weapons of mass destruction against our cities - biological, chemical, and nuclear - can we risk putting such a man in the Oval Office?

Doesn't he remember what happened on 9/11? More than 3,000 Americans were murdered.

Doesn't he want to prevent that from ever happening again?

If he supports driver's licenses for illegals, the answer is clear.

Hold the fucking phone. I realize every righty scared of blackie will read this and grunt "ummm-huh!" but it doesn't even make sense.

DID YOU KNOW: All of the 9/11 terrorists entered the USA legally on temporary visas? That means that the terrorists were here legally, and probably obtained a legal license, just like you would if you had a visa to France.

So if it's all bullshit, what's the purpose?

Another unfounded reason to attach the terrorist tag to Obama.

Fucking madness.

I can't wait until 11/4.

McCain-Palin Mob

Terrifying. They're about as well-informed as Palin.



(from Blogger Interrupted via C&L)

Ode to Sean Hannity

Found here:

Ode to Sean Hannity

by John Cleese

Aping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You’re a profanity
Hannity

Fishy Australian Scientists

From here:



Hundreds of new marine Australian Scientists have been under our nose all along, all different species, oddly enough. A real boon for the marine biology folks who, it appears, will be studying themselves.

That One

The last 24 hours have been really exciting.

I'll be posting some point-by-point over at All Things Democrat which, if you haven't been, is now a forum as opposed to a blog. Still a great site, just more voice for everyone.

But let's get to some videos.

Today McCain apparently thought he was campaigning for President of his Cell Block:




If you haven't heard about it yet, you will. At one point in last night's debate, McCain, without looking at him, pointed at Barack Obama as "that one." Holy shitake! I was expecting "boy" next, closely followed by "my negro friend." What the fuck?




And, of course, the final snub of the night. It's past McCain's bedtime and he hasn't eaten so he can take his back pills, so he refuses to shake Obama's hand and rushes out of there as Obama stays to visit and speak with audience members.



Love that snub.

You Wouldn't Like [McCain] Angry

Brave New Films:

Citizenship Question: Frisky Dingo

Yes, I did this.

Veep Debate: On a Parental Note...

Forgot to bring up this point last week:

I realize that the knee-jerk reaction of the of the right wing at the end of the VP debate made a quick transition from "Woot woot woot, she didn't shit the bed!" to "Awww, she brought da baby!"

Quick question popped up in my head: "What the fuck kind of parent are you to haul a special needs kid out on national stage at 11pm?"

Answer: A shitty one, playing politics with children.

That Hypocrite Pope

Today:

Benedict says that "now with the collapse of big banks we see that money disappears, is nothing and all these things that appear real are in fact of secondary importance." He urges those who build their lives "only on things that are visible, such as success, career, money" to keep that in mind.

This is, of course, because Pope Benedict is the head of an organization that benefits when everything goes to shit, when people are tired of the political spin and don't quite understand what's happening. They go to church; they drop more into the ushers' baskets.

Uncertainty breeds money for The Holy See.

Christianity is, at its base, supposed to follow the teachings of Christ, who renounced all things in the physical world for the spiritual world, and taught his followers to do the same. Ironically enough, the purported stronghold of Christ's teachings, the Vatican, is worth billions in the physical leanings of priceless art, artifacts, treasures, and manuscripts.

Perhaps, Pope Benedict, if you were able to divest yourself of some of those worldly holdings and aid in helping those in need - you know, like Jesus would do - then perhaps you'd be less likely viewed as a hypocrite. Don't tell me I'm not following Jesus' path by having a 401(k) plan when a fart from the Vatican vault could help thousands.

And if the world were to follow your advice and value nothing physical and focus on only their spiritual development? Well, then, the Catholic Church would again become an enormous power to be reckoned with, wouldn't it?

Isn't worldly power...worldly?

Might want to read that Bible again, Benedict.

Keating Economics

McCain decided to blow up Obama's ties to Ayers, as well as blow up Ayers as a TERR'IST. Aside from it being bullshit (and I will have more on that later), McCain is letting out his old man stink; he's panicking because we've got a month to go. Problem with his strategy is that no one wants to talk about Ayers. We're a little too worried about the economy, our 401(k)'s - if we have enough to put into them.

And the worst part is that McCain's actions during the Keating scandal are directly related to what is going on now. Let's review, shall we? The Obama campaign released this gem just today. It's 13 minutes long, and will get you fired up.



Pass it on.

Bailout or Martial Law?

Some members of congress have been informed that without the bailout, Martial Law would be instituted.

From BoingBoing:



Last week everyone was shouting that the markets were sucking some ass because the bailout didn't pass. This morning I heard that the international markets were tanking before out opening bell because - suddenly - people internationally realized the bailout is a Band-Aid, not actually fixing anything.

WTF?

That Whole Palin Biden Thing

I know I promised a point-by-point, but about halfway through, I almost turned it off.

Biden spoke commandingly and knowledgeably about all the topics, outlining what an Obama administration would mean for America. Palin was informed, but much of the time blatantly refused to answer the question at hand, and did not address how a McCain administration would be better than Bush. Ifill, brow-beaten by the media about her book and docile to avoid any and all criticism, refused to play any role as a moderator with follow-up questions, and decided tossing out subjects without enforcement was a better way to handle things.

No one biffed too hugely and no one over-dominated. In other words, it was boring. And Friday the left wing declared Biden the winner and the right wing radio folks were giddy as schoolgirls because Palin didn't shit herself on stage.

And where the fuck were the chairs?

Catullus on Aemilius

Mrs. Shambles had to write something for a Roman history class, and I found this lovely, contemporary translation of Catullus. For those of you who don't know, Catullus was an Ancient Roman poet, contemporary of Caeser and Cicero whose straightforward, unapologetic, and sometimes baudy language makes him a joy to read. He's been compared at times to Charles Bukowski. Here's a sample:

97.

I almost can't tell if it makes any difference
greeting Aemilius from the front or behind.
The smell is so awful. Perhaps his ass is less
hideous because it has no teeth. The ones he has are a foot long,
his gums are rotting, and his lips are like a donkey's
cunt as it parts on a hot day when she is taking a piss.
He says he fucks the girls. He thinks he's charming.
He is so dumb he can't even walk a miller's donkey
around a grinding wheel. If there's a woman anywhere
who would touch him, she'd have no problem licking the
diseased ass of an aged hangman as he waits between jobs.


Who thought Roman poetry could be so much fun?

Palin vs. Biden. And...Fight!

Yes, this debate would be so much better as a modified version of Mortal Kombat with Palin's Brain Short Circuit and Biden's Howl-Down fatalities, but where's the schadenfreude in that?

I haven't done it in a while, but I'll have an entry up tomorrow morning about the ensuing absurdity that will be the sit-down chat the VP candidates are having tonight. Which means, if you do not recall, any point I think is worth noting, snidely commenting about, or ranting on.

Getchur popcorn and pringles and pinot grigio ready. It's going to be a good'un.

UPDATE: I watch about 20 minutes a day of MSNBC unless I'm lucky to be free to catch whatever I can of Olbermann. I did, however see this exchange with Matthews about whether Biden will help Palin adjust her chair at the debate.

As opposed to Mortal Kombat style, I'd prefer this part to be very Jerry Springer. You know, Palin "represents Joe six-pack," so perhaps she should set the tone by running out on stage, picking up her own chair, and clobbering Biden, screaming "Adjust that, you insider BLEEP-er!" And bald-ass Steve comes out and just crosses his arms and everything settles down until Palin is asked about Russia and she leaps on Biden, trying to claw his eyes out, screaming "Russia ate my first kid, you BLEEP-er!"

And then they bust out the paternity test.

Or not. But one can wish.

The Ignorant Vote

I've talked about it before. Case in point:



To clarify: Barack Obama is only half plain-woven cotton fabric.

Obama Biden Terrorism

My brother brought this up to me right after the Biden announcement, wondering - with all the Muslim-hatin' Conservatives out there - why chose Biden?

O(b,s)ama Bi(n La)den

I'm waiting for the nutters to go there. If they haven't already.

Palin on Reading: Ummmmm...

Sarah Palin was asked what newspapers she reads on a regular basis to stay informed. The Journalist cum Governor cum VP Candidate got involved in the following verbal version of Chevy Chase playing President Ford:

COURIC: And when it comes to establishing, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and understand the world?

PALIN: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

COURIC: Like what ones specifically?

PALIN: Umm… all of them. Any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.

COURIC: Can you name any of them?

PALIN: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news… Alaska isn’t a foreign country where it’s kind of suggested it seems like, wow how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, DC may be thinking and doing, when you live up there in Alaska. Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

I believe she should be in the cast of Heroes for season 3; every time Palin speaks, the basic lack of coherence causes short-circuits in the analytical parts of thinking peoples' brains with the apparent, intentional goal of turning the country into a bunch of drooling goons who will finally accept the still lingering bullshit fear that Obama is a Muslim. In other words, her super power is the ability to make the world like West Virginia and guarantee a McCain landslide.

McCain Don't Know Nothin' 'Bout No Economies

Brave New Films:



What an asshat.

Corruption Under the Radar: U.S. Attorneys

I know everyone's poop-headed over Palin and making sure their portfolios aren't swimming with the fishes (hint: they're probably not), but hey, do you remember that one time when the Bush Administration fired those nine U.S. Attorneys and everyone was all like "You can't do that with partisan politics" and Gonzales was all "We're so not" and liberal bloggers were all "Uh-huh!" and Bush was like "Um, nun-uh?"

A 400 page report has been released with the following conclusion:

"Our investigation found significant evidence that political partisan considerations were an important factor in the removal of several . . . U.S. attorneys."

No shit. Eugene Robinson has a good bit at WaPo. Pass it around.

Kucinich on the Bailout

Almost makes me want to move back to Cleveland.

We'll Call It: The Sarah Palin Stain

I do believe the Republicans have been shitting themselves for the last few weeks, and the squeezes have become more stringent in the last few days, as Palin prepares herself to be chewed up, humiliated, belittled, and spat out by none other than Joe Biden this coming Thursday.

I can't fucking wait.

But the spots on the conservatives' pants are beginning to show.

I have unverified reports from Mrs. Shambles who heard it on NPR that there is a movement afoot on the right to pull her from the ticket.

Oh, please, please, please keep her. It's been so much fun attacking the blind faith ditto-heads the last few weeks with reality.

Updates if this pans out.

e-Sympathy

While I was away last week, a company I've been working with for almost three years sent me an e-card expressing sympathy, dated the day after the funeral. Because of spam filters, I got it this morning.

I think I'd appreciate the sentiment if it felt like there was any there. The equivalent of a curt email with clip art? Late? I was going to say "talk about phoning it in," but making a phone call may have actually taken ten minutes.

Is this a statement about society, or a single case of egregious laziness? Is it ever appropriate for real-life people with whom you have real-life relationships send an e-card when someone close to you has died?

What do you think?

Still on the Andrew Wilkow

Even though I posted Andrew Wilkow: My New Pain in the Ass back at the beginning of March, it's one of those posts that just won't die: every week or so I get another comment, usually from a conservative troll, sans grammatical or linguistic ability, too afeared to post anything except as Anonymous.

This week was no different. Anonymous first seemed centerist, argued that aesthetic traits (whiny) are irrelevant to any argument against a person. Then:

"Most liberal statements are, in all truth, irrelevant, or crafted in a manner which simply appeals to aesthetics and the dog-like qualities."

Ah, to the crux. I replied:

Most critical conservative statements are generalizations, based on untruths, peppered with obfuscation, and punctuated with one thing the ignorant masses can hang onto, such as "he's a commie!"

Liberals also tend to be more internet savvy and understand the importance of signing posts and owning your own words.

And on a sidenote, aesthetics carries a great deal of relevance, especially when all you have to go on is the voice itself. If your word choice, tone, temperament, and speech pattern peg you - in my mind - as a collar-popping guido douchebag, there's not much you can say that can break through that. Lynn Samuels has a voice like nails on a chalkboard interrupted by a smoke detector. Hence, I don't listen.

Finally, tips for credibility. This is for you, trolls! Want to come across as intelligent? Here's how:

• Post using your username and claim some responsibility for your words
• Grammar and spelling are important; Firefox has built-in spellcheck.
• Make a substantial (or humorous) post without devolving into "ur a stupid librl whoz stupid n stuff"

I know. That last one is probably asking a bit too much.

Back & Damien Jurado

I'm back, but my head's still not in the game. Heard a new artist while I was away: Damien Jurado.



Yeah, that's the tone of my aura at the moment.

I did get an unsolicited DVD of Obsession: Radical Islam's War Against the West in the mail today from The Clarion Fund. I'll have to take a look at it. Soon. Soon.